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You know you’re getting old when…….


Spudders

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I know age & the perception of if you are old or young is obviously different at every age, clearly someone who is older than you is gonna think you seem young compared with them.

I’m at that age (lateish 30’s) where I have stopped fighting the onset of getting old & am instead now embracing it. A few things have happened recently that I’ve noted as things I would have felt were very uncool a few years ago. I’m sure you can all come up with some more, but here are a few of my recent ones…..

 

  • On being asked on Monday morning how my weekend was, I said that I had had a brilliant weekend. On being asked what I had done, my answer was “Nothing other than relax & watch tv”
  • I’ve just bought myself a hot water bottle
  • I’ve specifically gone out of my way to find a certain fragrance for my washing detergent
  • I am also considering buying an umbrella, although I’ve not gone that far yet

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I know age & the perception of if you are old or young is obviously different at every age, clearly someone who is older than you is gonna think you seem young compared with them.

I’m at that age (lateish 30’s) where I have stopped fighting the onset of getting old & am instead now embracing it. A few things have happened recently that I’ve noted as things I would have felt were very uncool a few years ago. I’m sure you can all come up with some more, but here are a few of my recent ones…..

 

  • On being asked on Monday morning how my weekend was, I said that I had had a brilliant weekend. On being asked what I had done, my answer was “Nothing other than relax & watch tv”
  • I’ve just bought myself a hot water bottle
  • I’ve specifically gone out of my way to find a certain fragrance for my washing detergent
  • I am also considering buying an umbrella, although I’ve not gone that far yet

 

Nothing wrong with buying an umbrella, Spudgun.

 

Using one, however ...

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I know age & the perception of if you are old or young is obviously different at every age, clearly someone who is older than you is gonna think you seem young compared with them.

I’m at that age (lateish 30’s) where I have stopped fighting the onset of getting old & am instead now embracing it. A few things have happened recently that I’ve noted as things I would have felt were very uncool a few years ago. I’m sure you can all come up with some more, but here are a few of my recent ones…..

 

  • On being asked on Monday morning how my weekend was, I said that I had had a brilliant weekend. On being asked what I had done, my answer was “Nothing other than relax & watch tv”
  • I’ve just bought myself a hot water bottle
  • I’ve specifically gone out of my way to find a certain fragrance for my washing detergent
  • I am also considering buying an umbrella, although I’ve not gone that far yet

 

Good, saves you from having to huddle up underneath mine. ;)

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I'm 36, and I have noticed :-

 

1) Increased love of ale

2) Decreased libido

 

On 2), I have a theory.

 

Male interest in women is like a bell curve. Zero interest until around 11-12. Can't stop thinking about them from 12-32. After that, the missus is more likely to get a "f**k off love, I'm going fishing".

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I'm 36, and I have noticed :-

 

1) Increased love of ale

2) Decreased libido

 

On 2), I have a theory.

 

Male interest in women is like a bell curve. Zero interest until around 11-12. Can't stop thinking about them from 12-32. After that, the missus is more likely to get a "f**k off love, I'm going fishing".

 

1 - Ditto

2 - Weirdo

 

(I'm 32)

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Ah yeah good one, I switched to ale a couple of years ago, beer/laaaaaaager just tastes like weak fizzy water now

 

Yup, although you may be shocked to learn that I started drinking ale in 2008 in the US of all places. Consequently, I actually drink my ale cold.

 

Nation-traitor, I know.

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You don't mind when the hairdresser offers to shave your eyebrows.

 

Aw man, you just reminded me.

 

Fecking eyebrows!

 

Left unchecked, I have a considerable number of brow hairs which would go to six inches if they could. Fortunately, the missus is kind/cruel enough to organise a bi-monthly de-browing.

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Or more generally, you stop giving a crap what other people think of what you're wearing.

 

and if you wear anything that looks too "yoof" you look ridiculous anyway. Mid 30's man with his jeans hanging off his arse aint a good look. That said it aint a good look on anybody but my gist has hopefully been got

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and if you wear anything that looks too "yoof" you look ridiculous anyway. Mid 30's man with his jeans hanging off his arse aint a good look. That said it aint a good look on anybody but my gist has hopefully been got

 

I'm not sure I even care about looking ridiculous.

 

I'm actively planning my first mid-life crisis. At 42, I shall ecschew the saloon in favour of a penis-shaped automobile, get a fake tan, and cruise around Southampton listening to Poison's "Unskinny Bop" ( by far the worst piece of sh*t rock tune from the period ).

 

To the untrained (or indeed, trained) eye I will resemble a complete fecking idiot. Bring it on.

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When you start to pop a couple of sheets of toilet paper down the front of your pants in the morning because you dribble more than your underwear can absorb during waking hours

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: dear god I hope that doesn't really happen! I feel a bit younger again now you've said that!

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Makes me feel old when I ask someone at work if they remember a certain song (normally one from the mid 90's which I'd have been listening to in bars and clubs in my youth) only for me to realise they were a baby when it was released. Either that or discussing a footballer with them who they never saw play, for example Le Tissier. All they have is their parents stories and youtube compilations.

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At the store the other day, the cashier told an older woman infront of me,

that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

 

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."

 

He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

 

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

 

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator

in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

 

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because

we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters,

not always brand-new clothing.

 

But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house, not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.. (that’s like, um, WA) In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because

we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail,

we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline

just to cut the lawn.We used a push mower that ran on human power.

We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to

a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

 

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

 

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle

every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of

buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor

instead of throwing away the whole razor

just because the blade got dull.

 

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

 

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and

kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning

their moms into a 24-hour taxi service...

We had one electrical outlet in a room,

not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances.

And we didn't need a computerized gadget

to receive a signal beamed from satellites

2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

 

But isn't it sad the current generation laments

how wasteful we old folks were just because

we didn't have the green thing back then!

 

So who needs a lesson in conservation from a young person?

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I'm 36, and I have noticed :-

 

1) Increased love of ale

2) Decreased libido

 

On 2), I have a theory.

 

Male interest in women is like a bell curve. Zero interest until around 11-12. Can't stop thinking about them from 12-32. After that, the missus is more likely to get a "f**k off love, I'm going fishing".

 

I have a theory as well - too much of 1) leads onto 2).

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I'm 36, and I have noticed :-

 

On 2), I have a theory.

 

Male interest in women is like a bell curve. Zero interest until around 11-12. Can't stop thinking about them from 12-32. After that, the missus is more likely to get a "f**k off love, I'm going fishing".

 

When youd rather have a quick Timmy-Tank in the bath than get all lovey dovey with the misses. She will probably say the same.

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At the store the other day, the cashier told an older woman infront of me,

that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

 

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."

 

He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

 

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

 

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator

in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

 

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because

we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters,

not always brand-new clothing.

 

But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house, not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.. (that’s like, um, WA) In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because

we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail,

we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline

just to cut the lawn.We used a push mower that ran on human power.

We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to

a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

 

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

 

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle

every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of

buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor

instead of throwing away the whole razor

just because the blade got dull.

 

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

 

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and

kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning

their moms into a 24-hour taxi service...

We had one electrical outlet in a room,

not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances.

And we didn't need a computerized gadget

to receive a signal beamed from satellites

2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

 

But isn't it sad the current generation laments

how wasteful we old folks were just because

we didn't have the green thing back then!

 

 

 

So who needs a lesson in conservation from a young person?

 

This - absoltely true. Isn't Mankind Genius!!!

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At the store the other day, the cashier told an older woman infront of me,

that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren't good for the environment.

 

The woman apologized to him and explained, "We didn't have the green thing back in my day."

The clerk responded, "That's our problem today. Your generation did not care enough to save our environment."

 

He was right -- our generation didn't have the green thing in its day.

 

Back then, we returned milk bottles, soda bottles and beer bottles to the store. The store sent them back to the plant to be washed and sterilized and refilled, so it could use the same bottles over and over. So they really were recycled.

 

But we didn't have the green thing back in our day. We walked up stairs, because we didn't have an escalator

in every store and office building. We walked to the grocery store and didn't climb into a 300-horsepower machine every time we had to go two blocks.

 

But she was right. We didn't have the green thing in our day. Back then, we washed the baby's nappies because

we didn't have the throw-away kind. We dried clothes on a line, not in an energy gobbling machine burning up 220 volts -- wind and solar power really did dry the clothes. Kids got hand-me-down clothes from their brothers or sisters,

not always brand-new clothing.

 

But that old lady is right; we didn't have the green thing back in our day. Back then, we had one TV, or radio, in the house, not a TV in every room. And the TV had a small screen the size of a handkerchief (remember them?), not a screen the size of the state of Montana.. (that’s like, um, WA) In the kitchen, we blended and stirred by hand because

we didn't have electric machines to do everything for us. When we packaged a fragile item to send in the mail,

we used a wadded up old newspaper to cushion it, not Styrofoam or plastic bubble wrap.

Back then, we didn't fire up an engine and burn gasoline

just to cut the lawn.We used a push mower that ran on human power.

We exercised by working so we didn't need to go to

a health club to run on treadmills that operate on electricity.

 

But she's right; we didn't have the green thing back then.

 

We drank from a fountain when we were thirsty instead of using a cup or a plastic bottle

every time we had a drink of water.

We refilled writing pens with ink instead of

buying a new pen, and we replaced the razor blades in a razor

instead of throwing away the whole razor

just because the blade got dull.

 

But we didn't have the green thing back then.

 

Back then, people took the streetcar or a bus and

kids rode their bikes to school or walked instead of turning

their moms into a 24-hour taxi service...

We had one electrical outlet in a room,

not an entire bank of sockets to power a dozen appliances.

And we didn't need a computerized gadget

to receive a signal beamed from satellites

2,000 miles out in space in order to find the nearest pizza joint.

 

But isn't it sad the current generation laments

how wasteful we old folks were just because

we didn't have the green thing back then!

 

So who needs a lesson in conservation from a young person?

 

An eloquent condemnation of the ecological absurdity of modern capitalism.

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I went round my parents house the other day, and they had the TV up SO LOUD!!!! Literally it was hurting my ear drums. I pointed this out to them, and they hadn't even noticed. So their hearing is on the fritz.

 

They don't need glasses for everyday living, but for anything requiring reading, they do. Not just reading but anything that requires close attention. Then, they can't find their glasses, and spend about half an hour tracking down a pair, which only have one arm, and a dodgy chain so they can put them around their neck. Eyesight going.

 

My mum talks to herself. She claims she's talking to the parrots or the dogs, but she's not. Why? Because they're full blown conversations and, at times, arguments with herself. Mind going. (My Dad lost his mind years ago having to put up with my mum...)

 

So, how do I know I'm getting older? By moaning about my parents getting old!

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You know you're getting old when....

 

* You can't be bothered to even leave the house on New Years Eve, let alone go out with your mates

* You find yourself looking forward to the afternoon play on R4

* You find yourself proclaiming that all modern music is rubbish and that today's young'uns don't realise how good it was 'back in your day'

* You will quite happily buy new clothes from Sainsburys because you don't care how fashionable or cool you look any more

 

I'm about to turn 37 and all of the above have become a part of my life :(

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being the one the youngsters in the office turn to whenever there's a question about something pre 1990.

being given the nickname 'victor over there in the corner'

knowing when you've had enough to drink and the ability to stop - never stopped when I was younger

being old enough that you could be the parent to half the office.

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When you read some of these posts and think "that was me years ago" :uhoh:

 

+1 :(

 

I once read a quote by someone famous, but being old I have forgotten who it was, along the lines of A man knows when he's getting old when he spots an attractive girl walking towards him in the street, gazes at her in admiration/appreciation/lust ....... and she walks straight past without even noticing he was there.

 

Yep, I'm old :(

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Rating your morning dump out of 10 (typed whilst enjoying an 8.5)

Thinking Jayne torvill looks better now than when she won medals.

Realising that no matter how hard you trained, it is too late to play for Saints.

Realising your sons will never play for saints.

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