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Suicide


CabbageFace
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Are you considering killing yourself? If one, or more, of these reasons apply to you then maybe it's about time.

 

1. No Luck With Girls

You can't find a date. When you talk to girls you freeze up and don't know what to say. You're too ugly or fat to have a good shot with girls. Girls consider your personality to be as interesting as a rock. The last time you've been laid was in that wet dream you had the other night. You say you're a virgin who is waiting for the right girl, but you know that's a load of bull****. You think a girls boobs feel like sandbags. You are pathetic. Don't want to spend the rest of your life jacking off? Suicide may be right for you.

 

2. Nobody Likes You Anyway

When's the last time you were invited to a party? How many calls do you get from friends a day? I bet the answer is zero. You suck. Nobody likes you because you have nothing interesting about yourself. You're not outgoing at all and people think of you as a nerd. If you have friends at all they're only your friends because they are just as pathetic as you are. If you kill yourself you'll be doing your friends a favor because maybe they'll gain the courage to follow your footsteps.

 

3. You're Gay

Afraid of coming out of the closet? You see those flaming faggots walking around and you're afraid to associate yourself as one of them? Parents might disown you? You don't want to lose your family and be taunted by all your friends, yet you don't want to live a life in denial and sadness. If this applies to you, maybe you should just end it already.

 

4. Life's a Biach

Remember those dreams you used to have as a kid of that profession you always wanted to become? Well this certainly isn't it. You didn't go to college and have a salary that hardly gets you anything. Your life is in the ****ter right now in payments. You can't afford health insurance. Don't wait for the election to end, just kill yourself.

 

5. Parents Don't Understand You

You're a teenager and your parents don't cut you the slack that you feel you deserve. You've been called a spoiled brat, but that doesn't matter to you. Inside you feel that your parents just can't get to your level. If this is you then you're not just doing yourself a favor by killing yourself, but the rest of the world. Just ****ing do it already, you spoiled brat.

 

6. Erectile Dysfunction

Its understandable, I would do it in your situation as well.

 

7. You Did Something Really Embarrassing

Did you do something unbelievably embarassing in front of your friends, family, classmates, professors, or anyone close to you? Is it so ridiculously embarassing that you have nightmares just thinking about how awkward talking to these people will be? Farted in class or on a date? Shat your pants? Go for it.

 

8. Someone Close To You Died

If you've recently lost someone close to you- a parent, sibling, or any other loved one- you're probably going through a lot of pain right now. You question what the point of living without this loved one is, how you can continue without this loved one. Well maybe you can't, and that's why suicide is perfect for you. If this loved one is a pet and you're feeling this bad about it you should kill yourself as quickly as possible because you are a pathetic mother ****er.

 

9. You're In A Lot of Physical Pain

If you have cancer, or maybe even the common cold, and the pain is too great for you, it may be time to consider suicide. Think about it, by killing yourself all that pain goes away in one final release. It can be painless and quick too. Sure, you have a chance of recovering, but is it worth chemotherapy, or those hours of sneezing into handkerchiefs?

 

10. You're a 4chaner

No explanation necessary.

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All except for numbers 3 & 10.

 

Oooo, a numbers game..........

 

:lol:

I reckon you can pull. for godsake, I am an ugly bastard also uglier than you, yet I can pull.

I will prove you wrong when we next go out on a friday and I will attempt to chat up the ladies and get you involved.

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a what?

 

OK, maybe I'm out of touch with cool lingo these days, but this is probably the only I needed an explanation for. :confused:

 

Not a nice forum called 4chan.

 

4chan is an English-language imageboard website based on the Japanese Futaba Channel. Launched on October 1, 2003 by "moot" (allegedly "Christopher Poole"), its boards are primarily used for the posting of pictures and discussion of manga and anime. Users generally post anonymously, and the site has been linked to Anonymous culture and Project Chanology. The Guardian describes 4chan as "at once brilliant, ridiculous and alarming".

 

The "/b/" board is by far 4chan's most popular forum. It is known as the "random" board; there are minimal rules on posted content. It is thus notorious on the Internet; Gawker.com once claimed in jest that "reading /b/ will melt your brain".

 

The site has generated broad media attention, and its members have been responsible for the formation and popularization of Internet memes such as lolcats, rickrolling, and the popularity of the Tay Zonday song "Chocolate Rain". It has also received media attention for its attacks against other websites and Internet users, and for the threats of real world violence that have been posted on it.

 

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/4chan

Edited by Master Bates
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Not to be bring the thread too down, but I have a work friend, whose best friend took their own life, while on holiday, last week. She's quite upset about the whole thing. There was no sign of depression or anything. The person seemed very stable, yet something very deep was going wrong.

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whose best friend took their own life, while on holiday, last week.

 

A lad I occassionally played football with and was mates with some of my mates took his own life too last week, he was a popular lad who was on the lash with his mates the Saturday and the Sunday afternoon without any apparent signs he was about to do what he did, needless to say his family are devastated and can not understand it.

At the moment I can not ever see a situation or circumstance that would make me want to take my own life, if an ex peeves you off that much kill her not yourself.

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So INS - 8,119 Members of TSW (excludes yourself of course) so should be plenty of volunteers.

 

What do you fancy? the advanced notice of time and place or the completely random?

 

Preferred methodology? Painful hero or the umbrella tip.

 

Have a bunch of guys up in the North of Pakistan who can help if you want spectacular, but as you're sorting out the new house I doubt you can afford that.

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So INS - 8,119 Members of TSW (excludes yourself of course) so should be plenty of volunteers.

 

What do you fancy? the advanced notice of time and place or the completely random?

 

Preferred methodology? Painful hero or the umbrella tip.

 

Have a bunch of guys up in the North of Pakistan who can help if you want spectacular, but as you're sorting out the new house I doubt you can afford that.

 

Haha, I was waiting for some git to come up with that and you were the first one!

 

Ill go for an advance notice please. I can plan to wear some nice soiled undies for the paramedics to have to deal with.

 

Also, spectacular I think. Wanna atleast make the papers and be famous.

 

Yeah, re the guys in the north of pakistan, they will probably cost too much so will have to give them a miss

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Haha, I was waiting for some git to come up with that and you were the first one!

 

Ill go for an advance notice please. I can plan to wear some nice soiled undies for the paramedics to have to deal with.

 

Also, spectacular I think. Wanna atleast make the papers and be famous.

 

Yeah, re the guys in the north of pakistan, they will probably cost too much so will have to give them a miss

 

Actually I just KNEW you were going to respond like this, so the good news is I got a great deal from the boys.

 

They'll be sending across a one-way ticket from Heathrow, they'll give you basic training and arrange a nice ride in the boot of a taxi down to Mumbai or Dehli after you visited their specialist tailors shop for a nice waistcoat, you'll get a stop watch but no off button.

 

HTH

 

And that's it for the bad taste stakes tonite, it's too near reality of those morons

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