SNSUN Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 What is the best thing to splatter your man juice into/onto? I only ask because my, erm, friend isn't getting any and I'm, erm, he's, looking to relieve himself in other ways.
Pancake Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 Neighbours panties, liberated from washing lines.
Pancake Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 my, erm, friend isn't getting any and I'm, erm, he's, looking to relieve himself in other ways. Of course, if 'he' isnt getting any after a row with the good lady and 'he' is angered, then a good "pop" into a bottle of her shampoo does wonders for the soul.
Joe Kirkup Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 Neighbours panties, liberated from washing lines. Liberated from wash basket is better
latter day saint Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 a mango warmed in the microwave. just let it cool down for a while
SNSUN Posted 30 January, 2012 Author Posted 30 January, 2012 Of course, if 'he' isnt getting any after a row with the good lady and 'he' is angered, then a good "pop" into a bottle of her shampoo does wonders for the soul. That is brilliant! ...and it sorts out what present I get the mother in law for her birthday.
trousers Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 Blue Peter Annual c.1974 (Lesley Judd interview)
buctootim Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 You could try it with a unsliced loaf of bread warm out of the oven. Dont try it twice though, its nowhere near what your friend might have expected.
pap Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 Right, don't know how true this is, but... Mate of mine from school used to have a particular sock for this nefarious activity. He squirreled it away behind the radiator to ensure his mum didn't catch on. After he moved out of home, his mum found said sock weeks later, which was now home to a thriving maggot community. Ick.
pap Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 What is the best thing to splatter your man juice into/onto? I only ask because my, erm, friend isn't getting any and I'm, erm, he's, looking to relieve himself in other ways. Oh, and another one I heard from some miscreants at Shirley Snooker Club. Beef brisket cooked on a low heat in the oven.
buctootim Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 Beef brisket cooked on a low heat in the oven. With or without yorkshire pudding and gravy?
pap Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 With or without yorkshire pudding and gravy? I'm not sure that they are required. In fact, there is a good chance of scalding with gravy involved. That, or lumpiness.
saintbletch Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 a sandwich bag of warmed, raw cow's liver held with a pair of mink gloves?
Dr Who? Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 Pap.... Please tell me that neither of them above are MC?! It is just he lent me a pair of socks once, and I went round for a few beef roasts!!!! :-(
Dr Who? Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 My mate used to oil up a inflated swimming band put it between the mattress and the bed base and do the business! He took great joy in telling people this!
Dr Who? Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 He also used to use powder on a pillow and rub against it!
Dr Who? Posted 30 January, 2012 Posted 30 January, 2012 But this person is the same person who tried to **** an empty pump dispenser toothpaste choob only to get really bad friction burns on his nob. I really do need new friends!!!
Saint in Paradise Posted 31 January, 2012 Posted 31 January, 2012 Here you go SNSUN :- http://en.rocketnews24.com/2011/05/06/china-develops-automated-semen-collector-for-science/
SNSUN Posted 31 January, 2012 Author Posted 31 January, 2012 Here you go SNSUN :- http://en.rocketnews24.com/2011/05/06/china-develops-automated-semen-collector-for-science/ I am soooooo getting one of these for personal use. For my friend. As a Christmas present.
sussexsaint Posted 1 February, 2012 Posted 1 February, 2012 Working in an A/E dept for a year gives you a pretty good list of things not to use
Dr Who? Posted 4 February, 2012 Posted 4 February, 2012 Wife's face when she was sleeping Makes a very good face mask!
pap Posted 4 February, 2012 Posted 4 February, 2012 Pap.... Please tell me that neither of them above are MC?! It is just he lent me a pair of socks once, and I went round for a few beef roasts!!!! :-( Hehe, no mate - he is not involved. You do know one of them though. Can say no more.
Deano6 Posted 4 February, 2012 Posted 4 February, 2012 You could try it with a unsliced loaf of bread warm out of the oven. Dont try it twice though, its nowhere near what your friend might have expected. Funnily enough I was about to suggest a single slice of white bread (not granary) curled around the cock like a hotdog gives a very pleasing result.
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