SNSUN Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 What is the best thing to splatter your man juice into/onto? I only ask because my, erm, friend isn't getting any and I'm, erm, he's, looking to relieve himself in other ways. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Neighbours panties, liberated from washing lines. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelman Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 don't know what you're talking about !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 my, erm, friend isn't getting any and I'm, erm, he's, looking to relieve himself in other ways. Of course, if 'he' isnt getting any after a row with the good lady and 'he' is angered, then a good "pop" into a bottle of her shampoo does wonders for the soul. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Joe Kirkup Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Neighbours panties, liberated from washing lines. Liberated from wash basket is better Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latter day saint Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 a mango warmed in the microwave. just let it cool down for a while Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 30 January, 2012 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Of course, if 'he' isnt getting any after a row with the good lady and 'he' is angered, then a good "pop" into a bottle of her shampoo does wonders for the soul. That is brilliant! ...and it sorts out what present I get the mother in law for her birthday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjsaint Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Neighbour. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Blue Peter Annual c.1974 (Lesley Judd interview) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian H. Cope Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Dad's socks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 You could try it with a unsliced loaf of bread warm out of the oven. Dont try it twice though, its nowhere near what your friend might have expected. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Right, don't know how true this is, but... Mate of mine from school used to have a particular sock for this nefarious activity. He squirreled it away behind the radiator to ensure his mum didn't catch on. After he moved out of home, his mum found said sock weeks later, which was now home to a thriving maggot community. Ick. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 What is the best thing to splatter your man juice into/onto? I only ask because my, erm, friend isn't getting any and I'm, erm, he's, looking to relieve himself in other ways. Oh, and another one I heard from some miscreants at Shirley Snooker Club. Beef brisket cooked on a low heat in the oven. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Beef brisket cooked on a low heat in the oven. With or without yorkshire pudding and gravy? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 With or without yorkshire pudding and gravy? I'm not sure that they are required. In fact, there is a good chance of scalding with gravy involved. That, or lumpiness. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 How about a flatfish? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintbletch Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 a sandwich bag of warmed, raw cow's liver held with a pair of mink gloves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Who? Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 Pap.... Please tell me that neither of them above are MC?! It is just he lent me a pair of socks once, and I went round for a few beef roasts!!!! :-( Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Who? Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 My mate used to oil up a inflated swimming band put it between the mattress and the bed base and do the business! He took great joy in telling people this! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Who? Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 He also used to use powder on a pillow and rub against it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Who? Posted 30 January, 2012 Share Posted 30 January, 2012 But this person is the same person who tried to **** an empty pump dispenser toothpaste choob only to get really bad friction burns on his nob. I really do need new friends!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 31 January, 2012 Share Posted 31 January, 2012 Here you go SNSUN :- http://en.rocketnews24.com/2011/05/06/china-develops-automated-semen-collector-for-science/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 31 January, 2012 Author Share Posted 31 January, 2012 Here you go SNSUN :- http://en.rocketnews24.com/2011/05/06/china-develops-automated-semen-collector-for-science/ I am soooooo getting one of these for personal use. For my friend. As a Christmas present. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 1 February, 2012 Share Posted 1 February, 2012 Fleshlight.com (nsfw) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sussexsaint Posted 1 February, 2012 Share Posted 1 February, 2012 Working in an A/E dept for a year gives you a pretty good list of things not to use Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ampersound Posted 4 February, 2012 Share Posted 4 February, 2012 Wife's face when she was sleeping Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dr Who? Posted 4 February, 2012 Share Posted 4 February, 2012 Wife's face when she was sleeping Makes a very good face mask! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pap Posted 4 February, 2012 Share Posted 4 February, 2012 Pap.... Please tell me that neither of them above are MC?! It is just he lent me a pair of socks once, and I went round for a few beef roasts!!!! :-( Hehe, no mate - he is not involved. You do know one of them though. Can say no more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deano6 Posted 4 February, 2012 Share Posted 4 February, 2012 You could try it with a unsliced loaf of bread warm out of the oven. Dont try it twice though, its nowhere near what your friend might have expected. Funnily enough I was about to suggest a single slice of white bread (not granary) curled around the cock like a hotdog gives a very pleasing result. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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