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Transfer deadline day thread.


Pilchards

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Twas the night of the deadline, and all over the ground,

Not a player was moving, not even Dean Hammond.

The kits were hung on the clothes pegs with care

In the hope that the first team soon would be there.

 

The fans were nestled all snug in their seats

While visions of victory would appear in their tweets

And Nigel in his suit, and Nicola in his box

Looked to beat Cardiff, for home victories rock.

 

Then out on the pitch there arose such a clatter

I sprang from my seat to see what was the matter

I pulled out my camera phone and turned on the flash

Opened the shutter and gave the button a bash

 

The moon on the breast of the freshly grown grass

Gave hope to the fans that were sat on their arse

When, who to my wondering eyes should appear

But a man named Carlos Tevez. How queer!

 

Such a little old player, so lively and quick

The thought of him signing made me feel quite sick

More rapid than eagles his signing, it came

Left Saints fans singing and chanting his name

 

"Now Davis, now Frazer, now Adam and Danny,

On Deano, on Morgan, on Rickie and Lee

To the top of the league, to the top of your game

Let Carlos join in, we'll be cheering your name!"

 

Nige sprang to his feet, gave the team a whistle

and away they all ran like the down of a thistle

Then I heard Carlos exclaim as he drove out of sight

"You can stuff signing me, your team looks like shyte."

 

Apologies to Clement Clarke Moore, but I'm at work and BORED. (and we're not shyte, but Carlos Tevez is a ******. :-))

 

I read this in the style of Stuart Hall after a match. It sounds great. Sun, you have a job waiting for you with 5Live when Stuart Hall retires/dies.

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I read this in the style of Stuart Hall after a match. It sounds great. Sun, you have a job waiting for you with 5Live when Stuart Hall retires/dies.

 

Stuart Hall is quicker than I, he conjures poetry up on the spot! But yes it does read as if being spoken by him. I was going to do all the verses but I got bored with this too.

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Think after tonight they might have been better off getting some defenders.

 

You beat me to it! West Ham can sign all the strikers in the word, but it means cack all unless you have the defenders in place to hoof it up to them.

 

According to Kumb, they're just relieved we only managed a draw tonight. Beating Birmingham on Saturday will be massive - they're steamrollering through the league - and we need to match or better them, as I think they're our biggest rivals for a top two spot.

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