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The "How European Are You" Quiz

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buctootim

buctootim

Posted
Posted (edited)
And yes, I know there is a ? missing from the title.

 

A double quotation marks when it should be single. What?!? Just sayin....

 

 

Edit: Just done it. 26% euro logical too. Not fussed about the Mannequin pis but I do like moules, frites, garlic mayonnaise and Belgian beer.

Edited by buctootim
Verbal

Verbal

Posted
Posted
A double quotation marks when it should be single. What?!? Just sayin....

 

That's a stylistic choice more than anything. However, the absence of a question mark is unforgivable.

shurlock

shurlock

Posted
Posted (edited)

Like 13% of respondents, you've been rated: Euro-septic.

 

For you, the European idea is poisonous, even if you did once have a pretty good holiday in Alicante

 

Mother's french - must explain it.

Edited by shurlock
ChicagoSaint

ChicagoSaint

Posted
Posted

Blast from the past for any Viz fans. Any offence caused to any of our continental cousins reading this is purely intentional

 

Try this simple quiz to determine just how European you really are...

 

1. Your wife has asked you to pop into Marks and Sparks to buy her a new bra, but when you get to the cash desk you notice there is a large queue. What do you do?

a. Take your place in line and wait patiently to be served.

b. Put the bra back on the shelf and return later when the queueis shorter.

c. Barge directly to the front of the line and scream, "Ichleber stomph das bustenholten!"

 

2. You are driving around a roundabout when a car suddenly swerves in front of you causing you to brake sharply. How do you react?

a. Drive on, perhaps tutting under your breath.

b. Beep your horn at the offending motorist to let him knowyou're annoyed.

c. Screech to a halt diagonally across the front of the other car, leap out and bang your fists repeatedly on his bonnet shouting, "Bastardo! Bastardo! Mamma Mia! Bastardo!"

 

3. You are walking along the pavement when a rather attractive looking woman (or man) passes by. Do you:

a. Look away modestly, perhaps blushing slightly.

b. Smile and maybe say, "Hello".

c. Smear a tub of Brylcreem all over your head, pinch her bottom then proceed to follow her around for half an hour, together with twenty of your mates, all riding pathetic little scooters, making a variety of crude and suggestive remarks

 

4. You're busy at work when suddenly you realise it's 12 o'clock. What do you do?

a. Have lunch, read the paper, then return to work 45 minutes later.

b. Ignore the time and keep working until you've finished the task at hand.

c. Sit down under a tree and go to sleep for six hours.

 

5. You're holidaying on a beach when you see a rather old and weary looking donkey giving rides to children. What would you do?

a. Pay no attention. It's a fairly common sight.

b. Pat the donkey on the head and offer it a lump of sugar.

c. Goad it with a sharp stick, then get 50 of your friends to jump up and down on its back until it falls over and dies. Then go to sleep for six hours.

 

6. You wake up in the middle of the night feeling a bit peckish. Do you:

a. Roll over and go back to sleep.

b. Pop down to the kitchen for a quick cup of tea and a biscuit.

c. Phone twenty of your friends and invite them to come round and spend the next five hours eating snails, frogs, onions and garlic, smoking Gitane and drinking 48 litres of wine.

 

7. You arrive at work first thing in the morning. What is the first thing you do?

a. Start the day's work straight away.

b. Sit in the loo for twenty minutes reading the paper.

c. Spend three hours shaking hands with your colleagues, hugging them and kissing them on both cheeks as though you have not seen them for twenty years.

 

8. You admire your neighbour's lawn which is particularly well kept. Which of the following would you do?

a. Nothing. You're quite happy with your own patchy area of grass.

b. Ask his advice to enable your lawn to look as good as his.

c. After promising him that you won't, move your garden fence onto his land making his lawn part of your garden. If he complains, shoot him.

 

9. You are walking down the street when you see an old lady being mugged by two youths. Would you:

a. Wade in without regard for your own safety and try to fight the youths off.

b. Run to the nearest phone box to call the police.

c. Ignore the fracas completely, declare your neutrality by waving a little white flag above your head, then scarper back to your underground nuclear bomb shelter and try to work out how much money you've made by selling vastly overpriced timepieces and multi-purpose folding knives.

 

10. Your local football team has won a game. How would you celebrate? Would you:

a. Go down the pub and have a few pints with your friends.

b. Just stay at home. You aren't that interested in football.

c. Drive around in circles in a stupid little twenty year old Fiat with six people on the roof, screaming Ole' ole' ole' ole' at the top of your voice waving your arms out of the

windows and honking the bloody horn all night.

landford.saint

landford.saint

Posted
Posted

Im 1% and dont know how I got the 1. Disgusted though one of the questions had a quote from Ayatollah Maggie Thathcer that was the closest least farthest from my view. I'll join the street party when she shoves off this mortal coil to reach her final judgement.

Brizzie Saints

Brizzie Saints

Posted
Posted

Hmmmmmmm, a pretty respective 13%, I ****in hate europe.

 

 

Like 13% of respondents, you've been rated:

Euro-septic

For you, the European idea is poisonous, even if you did once have a pretty good holiday in Alicante

Jillyanne

Jillyanne

Posted
Posted
Like 13% of respondents, you've been rated: Euro-septic.

 

For you, the European idea is poisonous, even if you did once have a pretty good holiday in Alicante

 

Mother's french - must explain it.

 

Same for me. The question about what I think when I think of France stumped me as none of the choices were really relevant to me!!!

ChrisPY

ChrisPY

Posted
Posted

Like 24% of respondents, you've been rated:

 

Eurostar!

 

You are blazing a trail for a European integration a trois cents kilometres a l'heure!

Ohio Saint

Ohio Saint

Posted
Posted (edited)

13% Euro septic, which surprised me,frankly. I blame having lived in France, and the Germans for my annoyance with Europe. (And of course, the way those two countries have now taken ownership of Europe)

Edited by Ohio Saint

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