Stupidest thing anyone has ever said

[bomber]

'I thought North was whichever direction was in front of you.' - Spoken by a usually intelligent girl one of my classes at school. That was 10 years ago. Still makes me laugh thinking about it!

[Draino76]

My then 5 year old boy asked me if his orange juice was made from concrete.

[Trader]

My colleague ask me today, 'why if the world is so poor, we don't just print more money?'. I replied that it would take me longer than my half hour lunch to explain the answer.

 

While you're about it, can you also explain that to the Federal Reserve and the Bank of England.

 

They also seem to think it's a good idea.

[Turkish]

I took some clients out for dinner last night, one of the guys sent his Goats Cheese starter back, because he'd never heard of Goats Cheese and was expecting Goat with cheese.

[Minty]

Are you sure you want that man as your client?!

 

A good (and sadly regular) one from my current workplace:

 

"That will be ready in 48 hours madam"

"So I can pick it up tomorrow then?"

[Crazy Diamond]

I was called a retard by a Manchester United fan today.

 

Pretty stupid.

[Colinjb]

One that I came across at a meeting this week. My colleague Steve was in Munich enjoying the local 'Brau' with his South African counterpart, he fancied putting some music on the dukebox and said in his broad boer accent;

 

"Here, Schteve. What's the German for 'Bob Marley?'"

Edited 6 October, 2011 by Colinjb

[The Cat]

We once convinced a friend of ours that Friday had been cancelled that week. She completely believed it and was still going on about it in the pub the next day.

[Crazy Diamond]

We once convinced a friend of ours that Friday had been cancelled that week. She completely believed it and was still going on about it in the pub the next day.

 

Which day was that then?

 

I have to hold my hands up and admit to a rather stupid one, I've literally no idea why I said it.

 

My dad bought me an office chair, it was obviously a flatpack construction in a quite small box. I said to him upon receiving it "I take it its self assembly then?"

[CB Saint]

Was in the louvre in Paris looking at the mona Lisa when an American woman said to her friend, "isn't it amazing how well it fits the frame"