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Annoucement's Unlikely to be heard at SMS this season


qwertySFC
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And the sixth goal for Southampton was scored by Bradley Wright Philips

 

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And a big Saints welcome to our new owners, Portsmouth FC.

 

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Will players' parents or legal guardians please report to reception. The players are ready to go home now. (oh, actually, this one might just be heard..)

 

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The Christmas party, hosted by Rupert Lowe, will be held in Yates after the game.

 

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Will the young lad in row Z please give the ball back, McGoldrick didn't mean to hit you. It was a shot, honest.

 

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The chain-gang this week will be taken from the Itchen Stand. This week's chores include cutting the grass, cleaning the locker rooms and washing the kit.

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We are pleased to announce a new initiative to increase crowd size.

 

The club will be giving existing attendees eat as many burgers before the game and at half time.

 

RL confirmed that we got the idea from a saints fan who was seen dancing on BBC's match of the day. So we decided to size up our fans

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Further to the judgement on 31 July 2006, finding that same sex marriage would continue to be recognised as a civil partnership in England, Rupert and Michael would like to announce their engagement with a view to a civil partnership early in fiscal 2009. Anyone wishing to celebrate the engagement are welcome to join Rupert and Michael at the Edge for a finger buffet and light refreshments after the game.

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We are pleased to announce a new initiative to increase crowd size.

 

The club will be giving existing attendees eat as many burgers before the game and at half time.

 

RL confirmed that we got the idea from a saints fan who was seen dancing on BBC's match of the day. So we decided to size up our fans

 

Thats Bully!

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Sammy Saint cannot walk round the pitch today as he is playing upfront...

 

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Onwards we march with a little ditty,

It obvious we have nothing in the kitty

Rupes and Mikey have bled us dry

But please don't stop and cry

Please keep your scarves and stripey hats

Because we'll soon get rid of those two........

 

Answers on a postcard please.

 

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Rupert Lowe has left the building after donating his previous severance payment to assist the club in its hour of need.

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we are pleased to announce that Rupert Lowe would like to apologize to all fans (particularly the lunatic fringe) for his previous and current decisions that have led to the clubs current state and subsequent relegation to league 1 consequently he will only be putting tickets prices for our new exciting league one season, up by seven pounds, enjoy! :D

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"Please welcome onto the pitch,our record ten million pound signing "

 

"Rupert Lowe will be sitting in the Northam stand for the game,with the ordinary Saints supporters he so adores"

 

"We apologise for another loss and the poor quality football,refunds are available from the ticket office on your way out"

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"And the penalty was scored by Dave McGoldrick"

 

In February 2009: "Starting for Saints today 1. Kelvin Davis, 7. Rudi Skacel, 11. Andrew Surman, 20. Adam Lallana"

 

"Due to Saints difficult finanical position Rupert Lowe has kindly taken a pay cut"

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