Annoucement's Unlikely to be heard at SMS this season

[qwertySFC]

I'll start off with one,

 

Will all fans who have purchased play off tickets, please collect them at the box office after the game

[Arizona]

The official attendance today, 29,351

 

Please give a very warm welcome to... Harry Redknapp

 

Today we welcome Man Utd to St Mary's for this afternoons League game.

[exit2]

Will Joe Bloggs who has his 5 mates season tickets please goto reception as his friends are waiting outside for them

[Appy]

First goal for southampton scored by number 14 stern john!

[SaintIT]

Would the people queuing for Ruperts autograph please stand to one side?

[70's Mike]

taxi for a Rupert and Michael.

[bridge too far]

We are pleased to formally announce that a takeover has been brokered by Marc Jackson.

[qwertySFC]

We are sorry to announce that kick off has been delayed due to crowd congestion out side the ground

[simo]

Rupert would like to thank the northam stand for their support today!

[rocknrollman no2]

We would like to offer a warm welcome to our new owners................

[Rob the Saint]

Today's Team News

 

In goal Campbell Forsyth

 

Full Backs Kirkup and Hollywood

 

 

etc etc

[1976_Child]

And the sixth goal for Southampton was scored by Bradley Wright Philips

 

....

 

And a big Saints welcome to our new owners, Portsmouth FC.

 

....

 

Will players' parents or legal guardians please report to reception. The players are ready to go home now. (oh, actually, this one might just be heard..)

 

....

 

The Christmas party, hosted by Rupert Lowe, will be held in Yates after the game.

 

....

 

Will the young lad in row Z please give the ball back, McGoldrick didn't mean to hit you. It was a shot, honest.

 

....

 

The chain-gang this week will be taken from the Itchen Stand. This week's chores include cutting the grass, cleaning the locker rooms and washing the kit.

[qwertySFC]

Please give a warm round of applause to Chamionship manager of the month

 

........JAN Poortvliet

[Viking Warrior]

We are pleased to announce a new initiative to increase crowd size.

 

The club will be giving existing attendees eat as many burgers before the game and at half time.

 

RL confirmed that we got the idea from a saints fan who was seen dancing on BBC's match of the day. So we decided to size up our fans

[Mole]

Further to the judgement on 31 July 2006, finding that same sex marriage would continue to be recognised as a civil partnership in England, Rupert and Michael would like to announce their engagement with a view to a civil partnership early in fiscal 2009. Anyone wishing to celebrate the engagement are welcome to join Rupert and Michael at the Edge for a finger buffet and light refreshments after the game.

[simo]

We are pleased to announce a new initiative to increase crowd size.

 

The club will be giving existing attendees eat as many burgers before the game and at half time.

 

RL confirmed that we got the idea from a saints fan who was seen dancing on BBC's match of the day. So we decided to size up our fans

 

Thats Bully!

[bridge too far]

We're sure all Saints fans will join us in a minute's silence for the sad demise of Portsmouth Football Club

 

 

 

I wish

[Channon's Sideburns]

Sammy Saint cannot walk round the pitch today as he is playing upfront...

 

----

 

Onwards we march with a little ditty,

It obvious we have nothing in the kitty

Rupes and Mikey have bled us dry

But please don't stop and cry

Please keep your scarves and stripey hats

Because we'll soon get rid of those two........

 

Answers on a postcard please.

 

-----

 

Rupert Lowe has left the building after donating his previous severance payment to assist the club in its hour of need.

[eelpie]

...And Saints goal was scored by Stern John.

[EastleighSoulBoy]

 

The Christmas party, hosted in memory of ex-chairman Lowe, will be held in a telephone kiosk whenever you can get there.

 

 

More like it?

 

Sad that we'll not hear this one.

Edited 24 October, 2008 by EastleighSoulBoy

[saintsfannick]

things that we may here though- a collection bucket will be coming round for rupert lowe's pocket's would all fans contribute

[ladysaint]

things that we may here though- a collection bucket will be coming round for rupert lowe's pocket's would all fans contribute

 

Would the last one out please turn the lights off.

[rocknrollman no2]

things that we may here though- a collection bucket will be coming round for rupert lowe's pocket's would all fans contribute

 

I thought the only person in Lowes pocket was Wilde?

Edited 24 October, 2008 by rocknrollman no2

[Mr X]

we are pleased to announce that Rupert Lowe would like to apologize to all fans (particularly the lunatic fringe) for his previous and current decisions that have led to the clubs current state and subsequent relegation to league 1 consequently he will only be putting tickets prices for our new exciting league one season, up by seven pounds, enjoy!

[sun of spain]

"Please welcome onto the pitch,our record ten million pound signing "

 

"Rupert Lowe will be sitting in the Northam stand for the game,with the ordinary Saints supporters he so adores"

 

"We apologise for another loss and the poor quality football,refunds are available from the ticket office on your way out"

[qwertySFC]

And please remember ..next weeks home game with Helmond Sports is now sold out ...

[Sold To The Man @ The Bar]

Would the last supporter to leave the ground please turn off the lights

[Delmary]

"Sorry I am partly to blame for this financial mess" Rupert Lowe

[Colinjb]

Rupert Lowe announced he has decided to abandon his dream of a profitable football club and has sold to someone who wants to run the club in a more conventional manner.

[locksheathsaint101]

"We would like to thank Itchen North for their great support today."

[Toomer]

Our next home game against xxxxxxxx is a sell out.

[hypochondriac]

"We would like to thank Itchen North for their great support today."

 

I was going to do that one!

[Iowsaintsfan]

Would all the fans in the Chapel please be quiet

[obelisk]

Sorry to be a pedant but that apostrophe in the title seems to have sneaked in where it's not wanted. A bit like Lowe really.

[saintbenny]

"Due to our dire financial situation today's match ball has been replaced by a grape stolen from Asda by Bradley Wright Phillips"

[instinct]

"And the penalty was scored by Dave McGoldrick"

 

In February 2009: "Starting for Saints today 1. Kelvin Davis, 7. Rudi Skacel, 11. Andrew Surman, 20. Adam Lallana"

 

"Due to Saints difficult finanical position Rupert Lowe has kindly taken a pay cut"

[St Chalet]

And the first, second, third, fourth, fifth or sixth goal for Southampton was scored by Bradley Wright Philips

 

 

Maybe he might poach the seventh...

[St Chalet]

A big welcome to or new shirt sponsors : Lehman Brothers

[qwertySFC]

"Where are you? Where are you? Let's be having you. Come on."

 

Thank you Rupert for your rallying call to the supporters

[Um Bongo]

'And another Record Attendance here at St Marys, 32,500 (Or however many we can get in) Thank you for your fantatsic support.

[St Chalet]

'And another Record Attendance here at St Marys, 32,500 (Or however many we can get in) Thank you for your fantatsic support.

 

If we draw the skates at home in the 3rd round of the cup I think that will be a nailed on cert.

[Kingsbridge Saint]

Southampton's first goal scored by.......