Top 3 places you've nailed a bird

[Turkish]

1. On a beach in Mauritius

2. In a sauna at centre parks

3. on riverside park pitch and putt. Got a hole on one there a few times whilst playing a few different courses, if you get my drift. FACT.

 

* for our women, feel free to report the top three places you've had your slits filled up.

Edited 4 August, 2011 by Turkish

[Saint_clark]

1. The fanny

2. The arse

3. The earlobe

[Turkish]

1. The fanny

2. The arse

3. The earlobe

 

Shut up Geoff, you're a virgin.

[Julian H. Cope]

1. My Dad's bed

2. My Brother's bed

3. Your Sister's bed

[saint lard]

The top of the N97 night bus in London.

In an air raid shelter on a beach in soulac.the southwest of france.

In the Jacuzzi in the 'Foxhills' hotel on the I.O.W.I pity the people that followed us straight after we left.

[Seaford Saint]

In her bed

In my bed

In our bed

[Dog]

Inside a mosque

 

On a speedboat

 

On a camel

[This Charming Man]

A cave

 

In the sea, had to stop as a group of kids got a bit to close.

 

The top bunk in a 24 bed dorm, whilst someone was on the lower bunk. It was awkward in the morning. They weren't impressed. They left later that day. After one night.

[saint_bert]

Church grounds

Back of the motor

Pub bogs

 

Classy fella me.

[keithd]

The top bunk in a 24 bed dorm, whilst someone was on the lower bunk. It was awkward in the morning. They weren't impressed. They left later that day. After one night.

 

That's boarding schools for you. Kids can be so precious sometimes!

[This Charming Man]

That's boarding schools for you. Kids can be so precious sometimes!

 

Exactly. Just put your headphones on, shut your eyes and pretend you're on a boat. Some people can be so selfish at times.

[latter day saint]

playground at Mayflower park.

flat roof of a mates garage during a thunder storm

swimming pool at hotel in Devon

[Durleyfos]

Swingboat in River Inn garden.

 

Beach in Florida

 

Outdoor jacuzzi at a log cabin in a Devon holiday park.

[miserableoldgit]

Not sure that I understand this thread. Is it something to do with this:-

[Wade Garrett]

1. My Dad's bed

2. My Brother's bed

3. Your Sister's bed

 

Bastard!

[Thedelldays]

mayflower park

toilets in HMS Nelson

train carriage

[lutz]

In an air raid shelter on a beach in soulac.the southwest of france.

 

Bloody hell you must have been desperate for a **** as those places smell of ****!

[Trevor in Vancouver]

Vancouver

Bali

Calmore

[Saint_clark]

Shut up Geoff, you're a virgin.

 

That isn't even my name.

But yes, I am a virgin.

[ericofarabia]

Inside a mosque

 

On a speedboat

 

On a camel

 

Sounds like a normal week for me in dubai ...

[scotty]

That isn't even my name.

But yes, I am a virgin.

 

You just havent met Turks yet.

[scotty]

1. On a beach in Mauritius

2. In a sauna at centre parks

3. on riverside park pitch and putt. Got a hole on one there a few times whilst playing a few different courses, if you get my drift. FACT.

* for our women, feel free to report the top three places you've had your slits filled up.

 

 

....incidentally, I note that none of our resident laydeez have taken up this kind and carefully worded offer. Come on girls, up your game and spill the beans

[Turkish]

....incidentally, I note that none of our resident laydeez have taken up this kind and carefully worded offer. Come on girls, up your game and spill the beans

 

I am particularly keen to hear from Saint Boggy, she seems like good fun and filth.

[scotty]

I am particularly keen to hear from Saint Boggy, she seems like good fun and filth.

 

Youve got something there, but I had BTF in mind myself. I have a theory about her based on her former profession.

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

1) Coop Bank

2) C&G Call Centre

3) Jacuzzi

[MINIBARCELONASAINT]

1. Train Station

2. Football Pitch

3. The Common

[Robsk II]

In an air raid shelter on a beach in soulac.the southwest of france.

 

I know Soulac. I have also ****ged someone there, but not in the shelters. Which shelters? How exciting.

[scotty]

Ladies toilet of the white hart in newark on trent

Toilet (see a theme here?) of a singapore airlines flight en route to hong kong

Her flat. Not unusual in itself, but it was during her uncles funeral. Weirdest thing ever, she was in floods of tears, really badly upset, but she dragged me out of the service and back to her place nearby and demanded a portion, which I supplied while she continued sobbing. Then returned to the church. Still havent worked that one out, wtf?

[Wade Garrett]

1. Fanny

2. Bum

3. Mouth

[Spudders]

On a camel

 

Seriously, how does that even work! Was it a 1 hump camel or a 2 hump camel? Was the camel sat down or stood up? Did the camel seem to enjoy the experience?

[scotty]

Seriously, how does that even work! Was it a 1 hump camel or a 2 hump camel? Was the camel sat down or stood up? Did the camel seem to enjoy the experience?

 

He was referring to the cigarette, not the animal. He smoked it afterwards.

[Lighthouse]

He was referring to the cigarette, not the animal. He smoked it afterwards.

 

Or it may have been a Sopwith Camel.

[ericofarabia]

Seriously, how does that even work! Was it a 1 hump camel or a 2 hump camel? Was the camel sat down or stood up? Did the camel seem to enjoy the experience?

 

he probably bonked the camel - epic fail in the knowledge of exactly what a camel toe is !!

[scotty]

he probably bonked the camel - epic fail in the knowledge of exactly what a camel toe is !!

 

Theres a joke about a camel that ends with the punchline "no sir, they ride the camel to the brothel in town."

[Hatch]

1. A field overlooking the M25 near junction 15

2. A stinking fishing boat in San Antonio, Ibiza

3. A wooden toy train in a kids playground in the shadow of the Eiffel Tower

[jjsaint]

1. In prison

2. In a confessional

3. On a scouting trip

[Dog]

1. Fanny

2. Bum

3. Mouth

 

Did you snog her afterwards?

[The Cat]

1. On a beach in Dubai. Risky.

2. In a broken down castle in Kent while watching shooting stars.

3. In a car in the New Forest while ponies gathered around outside the window. I nailed them after of course.

[ringwood]

1. St Mary's

2. Swimming pool in Florida

3. On a train to meet my then gf

[JustMike]

1. Train Station

2. Football Pitch

3. The Common

 

you are sooo still a virgin minib!

[stockportsaint]

Ladies toilet of the white hart in newark on trent

Toilet (see a theme here?) of a singapore airlines flight en route to hong kong

Her flat. Not unusual in itself, but it was during her uncles funeral. Weirdest thing ever, she was in floods of tears, really badly upset, but she dragged me out of the service and back to her place nearby and demanded a portion, which I supplied while she continued sobbing. Then returned to the church. Still havent worked that one out, wtf?

 

Quite simple really. When someone close to us dies, we feel a biological urge to reproduce in order to top the population numbers back up again.

 

A quick google of "funeral sex" found this: http://www.viralclip.com/videos/1043/ - very funny, particularly as it's played completely straight. See also the Scrubs episode where J.D. gets jiggy with The Coma Wife (Amy Smart from Road Trip):

[Denzil]

1. Flemming Avenue Baddesley outside Chunky Chip Shop.

 

2. Segensworth industrial estate.

 

3. The Southampton Arms in Andover.

[ericofarabia]

1. Flemming Avenue Baddesley outside Chunky Chip Shop.

 

2. Segensworth industrial estate.

 

3. The Southampton Arms in Andover.(Presumably in the bogs?)

 

Denzil you little charmer - you take your girls to the nicest places

[Jonnyboy]

1. Flemming Avenue Baddesley outside Chunky Chip Shop.

 

2. Segensworth industrial estate.

 

3. The Southampton Arms in Andover.

 

I'm calling you Casanova from now on.

[Crazy Diamond]

1. Flemming Avenue Baddesley outside Chunky Chip Shop.

 

2. Segensworth industrial estate.

 

3. The Southampton Arms in Andover.

 

I used to work there.

 

Not in a prostitution capacity, I might add.

[John Boy Saint]

1. Fanny

2. Bum

3. Mouth

 

This question came up at a drunken neighbours Bar B Q, I jokingly said on the massive trampoline in their garden while they were out, a couple of others came up with a few stunners round town. Then this slightly vacuous woman blurts out "Up the Bum!!".

[Special K]

Can't think of anywhere too out of the ordinary, but i did finger a bird at work once, whilst she was answering the phone. And i had a bird once whose old man really didn't like me and made it quite plain. We went to stay at her parents place one Xmas and i persuaded her to give me a festive nosh in the old mans study whilst the parents were downstairs, which ended up with me monking all over his desk and keyboard. Merry Facking Christmas!

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

I used to work there.

 

Not in a prostitution capacity, I might add.

 

So did I... See 2) in my list :-)

[Turkish]

Layby on the A34 was pretty decent as well

[Denzil]

I used to work there.

 

Not in a prostitution capacity, I might add.

 

I used to work there aswell. When I was on nights I was smashing one of the girls from the production line. When it was quiet I used to whisk her off in my motor to a quiet corner of the industrial estate and have my wicked way with her. I was getting paid for it aswell.