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Top 3 places you've nailed a bird


Turkish
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1. On a beach in Mauritius

2. In a sauna at centre parks

3. on riverside park pitch and putt. Got a hole on one there a few times whilst playing a few different courses, if you get my drift. FACT.

 

* for our women, feel free to report the top three places you've had your slits filled up.

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The top bunk in a 24 bed dorm, whilst someone was on the lower bunk. It was awkward in the morning. They weren't impressed. They left later that day. After one night.

 

That's boarding schools for you. Kids can be so precious sometimes!

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1. On a beach in Mauritius

2. In a sauna at centre parks

3. on riverside park pitch and putt. Got a hole on one there a few times whilst playing a few different courses, if you get my drift. FACT.

* for our women, feel free to report the top three places you've had your slits filled up.

 

 

....incidentally, I note that none of our resident laydeez have taken up this kind and carefully worded offer. Come on girls, up your game and spill the beans

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....incidentally, I note that none of our resident laydeez have taken up this kind and carefully worded offer. Come on girls, up your game and spill the beans

 

I am particularly keen to hear from Saint Boggy, she seems like good fun and filth.

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Ladies toilet of the white hart in newark on trent

Toilet (see a theme here?) of a singapore airlines flight en route to hong kong

Her flat. Not unusual in itself, but it was during her uncles funeral. Weirdest thing ever, she was in floods of tears, really badly upset, but she dragged me out of the service and back to her place nearby and demanded a portion, which I supplied while she continued sobbing. Then returned to the church. Still havent worked that one out, wtf?

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Seriously, how does that even work! Was it a 1 hump camel or a 2 hump camel? Was the camel sat down or stood up? Did the camel seem to enjoy the experience?

 

He was referring to the cigarette, not the animal. He smoked it afterwards.

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Ladies toilet of the white hart in newark on trent

Toilet (see a theme here?) of a singapore airlines flight en route to hong kong

Her flat. Not unusual in itself, but it was during her uncles funeral. Weirdest thing ever, she was in floods of tears, really badly upset, but she dragged me out of the service and back to her place nearby and demanded a portion, which I supplied while she continued sobbing. Then returned to the church. Still havent worked that one out, wtf?

 

Quite simple really. When someone close to us dies, we feel a biological urge to reproduce in order to top the population numbers back up again.

 

A quick google of "funeral sex" found this: http://www.viralclip.com/videos/1043/ - very funny, particularly as it's played completely straight. See also the Scrubs episode where J.D. gets jiggy with The Coma Wife (Amy Smart from Road Trip):

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Can't think of anywhere too out of the ordinary, but i did finger a bird at work once, whilst she was answering the phone. 8) And i had a bird once whose old man really didn't like me and made it quite plain. We went to stay at her parents place one Xmas and i persuaded her to give me a festive nosh in the old mans study whilst the parents were downstairs, which ended up with me monking all over his desk and keyboard. Merry Facking Christmas!

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I used to work there.

 

Not in a prostitution capacity, I might add.

 

I used to work there aswell. When I was on nights I was smashing one of the girls from the production line. When it was quiet I used to whisk her off in my motor to a quiet corner of the industrial estate and have my wicked way with her. I was getting paid for it aswell. 8)

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