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If you could go back to your 18th Birthday


saint_stevo
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If it moves **** it. If it doesn't move **** it anyway, it might move later.

 

Do not smoke that cigarette. It will damage your health.

 

Do not sign that HP agreement. It will damage your wealth.

 

Join a pension scheme. Lol.

 

Never volunteer to be a union rep, it will damage your health.

 

Do not marry a six foot tall woman, you will resemble an elf. (first Mrs h was the spitting image of Big Bird.

 

Trust no-one.

 

Listen to your Mum.

 

Listen to your Dad.

 

Learn to play the guitar (or harmonica).

 

Do not get drunk, climb the flagpole and steal the flag from Deal pier, it was put there to ward off johnny foreigner as a first line of defence. The guilt will cause you many sleepless nights and johnny foreigner will one day steal everyone's jobs.

 

 

 

I would basically give myself 'a good talking to'.

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Don't go into 'that' tackle, it will ruin playing football forever

 

Don't let her move in. Stay single longer

 

Don't go to Reflex on your 21st bday

 

Put all your money on a bet for Pompey to win the FA Cup in 2008. It will soften the blow. In fact, put some on the Saints relegations too....and promotions. And make a note of the following numbers for the Euromillions 12 13 23 40 49 - 7 10 to be the only winner of £161,000,000.00

 

To be honest. My 18th was only 5 and a half years ago. I don't really have any real regrets.

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I spent my 18th birthday in a Gale force 10 in the North Sea :(

 

However, some advice i would give myself would be:

 

Don't smoke

 

Invest in property

 

Don't get married young

 

Visit Belarus as soon as you can, and definitely whilst still single!!

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Don't tell the landlord of the village pub you've been drinking in for 3 years that it's your 18th birthday.

 

I did a very similar thing last year, exclaiming HAPPY 18TH! as one of my friends walked in the door of our local. We'd been drinking there for 2 years before that. Luckily though, they didn't seem to give a f*ck!

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I did a very similar thing last year, exclaiming HAPPY 18TH! as one of my friends walked in the door of our local. We'd been drinking there for 2 years before that. Luckily though, they didn't seem to give a f*ck!

 

Were all the lights out, the buffet prepared, all the family gathered silently as the door opened, the lights came on, and you made your exclamation?

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Don't tell the landlord of the village pub you've been drinking in for 3 years that it's your 18th birthday.

 

Well, I had my 18th birthday party, with buffet, a few hundred quid behind the bar for my mates etc IN the local pub in Colden Common. The landlord knew.... as for the locals... they just assumed it was my 21st.

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Never thought I would see bridge to fart finally admitting to regretting being in the Labour herd for the last 60 years.

 

And I never, ever thought I'd see Prattlehead post a sarcastic comment either.

 

Being in the Labour Party for the past 40 years (with a short break) is most definitely not being part of the herd.

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Dont hack the plaster cast off on your ankle with the bread knife just so you can go out. It's a Monday night FFS. Town will be dead and you have a broken ankle. The NHS will refuse to replace the cast tomorrow and you will go on to have a bad ankle for the rest of your life because you didn't let it heal properly.

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