Huffton Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 You know you're from Pompey when..... 1. The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse. 2. You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. 3. You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. 4. You think a woman who is "out of your league" fights on a different night. 5. Jack Daniels makes your list of "most admired people." 6. You wonder how petrol stations keep their toilets so clean. 7. Anyone in your family ever died right after saying, "Hey watch this." 8. You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader. 9. Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. 10. Your school prom had a nursery. 11. You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels. 12. The value of your transit goes up and down,depending on how much fuel is in it. 13. You have to go outside to get something from the fridge. 14. One of your kids was born on a pool table. 15. You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. 16. You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it. 17. You think loading a dishwasher means getting your wife drunk. 18. Your toilet paper has page numbers on it. 20 . Your front porch collapses and kills more than five dogs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 21. Your postcode starts with the letters PO, then some numbers and some other letters and numbers after that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedAndWhite91 Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 22. you're a **** Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Badger Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 23. even the rats bring a packed lunch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 24. Letters are addressed to you with 'Portsmouth' written somewhere on the envelope. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 25. Your phone number begins with the numbers 023 92. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
beatlesaint Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 26. You think eating Fish Fingers is a form of oral sex. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 27. When buying a new home, you call in a mechanic instead of a surveyor to inspect it for you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
gaz Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 28, You can count to 9 on one hand, and 32 using all hands and feet. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 29. When the best gig you have ever seen was Noel Edmonds at Nero's Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedAndWhite91 Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 30. You'll never be able to perform the Nativity play because you'll never be able to find three wise men and a virgin. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 10 July, 2011 Share Posted 10 July, 2011 31: You invite your mother, sister, auntie, father, brother, and uncle to come round to your caravan for tea, and only need to find 2 chairs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Munster Posted 11 July, 2011 Share Posted 11 July, 2011 32. The team you support are a bunch of dirty, filthy, cheating skate bastards. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sevvy Posted 11 July, 2011 Share Posted 11 July, 2011 33. Your sister has more facial hair than father Chrismas Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gigersaint Posted 11 July, 2011 Share Posted 11 July, 2011 34. The weekend family gathering around Subbuteo resembles Fratton Park on Matchday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 11 July, 2011 Share Posted 11 July, 2011 29. When the best gig you have ever seen was Noel Edmonds at Nero's Most of the best gigs I've seen in Hampshire have been in Portsmouth. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Julian H. Cope Posted 11 July, 2011 Share Posted 11 July, 2011 Most of the best gigs I've seen in Hampshire have been in Portsmouth. Me too! The most memorable being Roachford at Portsmouth Guildhall. I think it may have been 1988 or 1989. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint francis Posted 11 July, 2011 Share Posted 11 July, 2011 Dr Dog, 2006, Portsmouth Guildhall. I don't think we need to say any more. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Secret Site Agent Posted 24 July, 2011 Share Posted 24 July, 2011 34. The weekend family gathering around Subbuteo resembles Fratton Park on Matchday. 35. When you go into McDonalds they have to use their fingers to work out your change...............and you leave with more money than you went in with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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