Deano6 Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I am a snooker referee. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dig Dig Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Traffic warden Boooooooooooo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Last Friday I was a pub manager / landlord / licencee. I am now [almost] officially unemployed I guess that makes me a 'job seeker'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Are you a people/sex trafficker? No - I fail them all, no matter how good they were and tell them to look for a proper job Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timebomb Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Photocopier repair man, but the missus - sells drugs! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Photocopier repair man, but the missus - sells drugs! Is that you, lifelongcherry? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I get paid to get laid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I get paid to get laid. How's Avram doing these days? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 How's Avram doing these days? He's easy to please and tips well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Funnily enough my real job is more dull than that - property maintenance/gardening stuff (for the moment) but this week I did some work at a certain person's property... Only Nicola Cortese's place in Chilworth (or is it Franny's?)!!! Very nice pad it is too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pedg Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I am in inveterate liar and I would not believe anything I say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Gabriel's Halo Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Says a judge. Good grief. That too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Oz Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Electrical Installation Engineer. Still doesn't sound as interesting as some of the above. do you mind if I ask what your qualifications are? As I have never heard of an Electrical Installation Engineer............ No offence intended (and I rather not get on my soapbox..as I don't know you personally) but I have never heard of an Electrical Installation Engineer (please enlighten me). I have worked with electricians, instrument technicians and Electrical Engineers (with the latter being somebody who has professional qualification - i.e degree). I moved to Australia six years ago where for me it is a breathe of fresh air - where (I believe rightly) only somebody with an appropriate engineering degree can be called an Engineer. An electrician is a separate profession as is an instrument technician. No disrespect intended but nobody normally calls them self a medical doctor or an accountant without first going to uni to be qualified and then practising for a few years in order to be competent and be recognised as such. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deano6 Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 What about a Sound Engineer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I'm a professional cynic, but my heart's not in it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintBobby Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I'm CEO of a Westminster think tank. Love it. And wld probably only quit for a job at Saints. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I was a Principal Auditor specialising in procurement, contracts and construction projects. I am now retired, but I do look after my grandchildren two days a week and I'm about to start working as a volunteer for a local farm museum that was threatened with closure. I trust I won't be milking cows or mucking out pigs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimond Geezer Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I moved to Australia six years ago where for me it is a breathe of fresh air - where (I believe rightly) only somebody with an appropriate engineering degree can be called an Engineer. This is a particular beef of many in my profession, structural engineering. You are not an engineer if you mend washing machines, repair exhausts for Kwik Fit, you are a fitter. You are not an engineer if you mend photocopiers, or use a lathe to make components. You are an engineer if you have sat a 7 hour exam, and been interviewed by the appropriate professional body, after either studying to at least HNC, then undertaking a further 3 years of study whilst working (as in the old days), or if you have the appropriate degree before sitting said exam & interview (nowadays). You can then call yourself a Chartered Engineer, (after paying the correct fee to the professional body of course). Then in you chosen field you analyse & then design things for others to build, based on the analysis. Me? I’m a Technician Engineer. Never sat the exam & the fees are cheaper. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I'm a Washing Machine Engineer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ludwig Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I am an accounting engineer. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
timebomb Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Ok, I'm a Photocopier Engineer! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Block 18 Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Gas Installer Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint francis Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Breathe regularly. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Chalet Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Commercial Director at a FTSE250 Business Services Company Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint francis Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Middle aged housewives. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cryoman1965 Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 Middle aged housewives. You do nothing then:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Gotsmanov Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I was a Principal Auditor specialising in procurement, contracts and construction projects. I am now retired, but I do look after my grandchildren two days a week and I'm about to start working as a volunteer for a local farm museum that was threatened with closure. I trust I won't be milking cows or mucking out pigs Brilliant volunteer work. The grandchildren will love it and will learn so much. If I ever retire then that is what I will aspire to. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
John Boy Saint Posted 8 July, 2011 Share Posted 8 July, 2011 I am a wooden spoon salesman, and probably the best paid in the industry according to my boss. . . . . . . my P60s have Missus John Boy asking questions, so he must be right: 18 holes at Wentworth west tomorrow anyone? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Brilliant volunteer work. The grandchildren will love it and will learn so much. If I ever retire then that is what I will aspire to. Just been to the inaugural meeting and I'm very excited! My grandchildren don't live near me, so they won't visit the museum that much but at least it will be there for when they're staying with me and that was my selfish reason for volunteering. The museum will actually be more of an 'experience', teaching all sorts of people about gardening, food production, the environment and history but it will be very hands-on. Very much a community project with stalls selling local produce and opportunities for children to understand where food comes from. I hope I'm going to be doing 'front of house' stuff because I can talk for England! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCholulaKid Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Teacher. Just about to move to Cameron's constituency for some grassroots subversion. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mack rill Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Ashcart driver, Well i was up to about 5 weeks ago(having a little spat with cancill over pay conditions) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wade Garrett Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Julian H Cope is a bumhole engineer. I am a perennial under-achiever currently doing a very mundane, mind-numbingly boring job. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Teacher. Just about to move to Cameron's constituency for some grassroots subversion. Then you'll need to contact me as I, too, live in Dave's patch and am already involved in such subversion! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonManager Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Ashcart driver, Well i was up to about 5 weeks ago(having a little spat with cancill over pay conditions) Removing or delivering? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thedelldays Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 seriously for me...I really cant say...I wish I could Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 seriously for me...I really cant say...I wish I could Are you the sub's Chief Handjob Engineer? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 are you a rich man's f*ck puppet? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 I was a Principal Auditor specialising in procurement, contracts and construction projects. I am now retired, but I do look after my grandchildren two days a week and I'm about to start working as a volunteer for a local farm museum that was threatened with closure. I trust I won't be milking cows or mucking out pigs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Is that your mother? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The Majestic Channon Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Is that your mother?[/quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimond Geezer Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Middle aged housewives. Domestic Engineers then. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Is that your mother? .....nah it's his missus Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 .....nah it's his missus Are you sure? Would that lady be SOOOOO desperate? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHAPEL END CHARLIE Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 This is a particular beef of many in my profession, structural engineering. You are not an engineer if you mend washing machines, repair exhausts for Kwik Fit, you are a fitter. You are not an engineer if you mend photocopiers, or use a lathe to make components. You are an engineer if you have sat a 7 hour exam, and been interviewed by the appropriate professional body, after either studying to at least HNC, then undertaking a further 3 years of study whilst working (as in the old days), or if you have the appropriate degree before sitting said exam & interview (nowadays). You can then call yourself a Chartered Engineer, (after paying the correct fee to the professional body of course). Then in you chosen field you analyse & then design things for others to build, based on the analysis. I prepared to bet that Isambard Kingdom Brunel will be unimpressed to hear that he does not qualify as a 'Structural Engineer'. Indeed, I understand he did invent a 'Steam Powered Coffin Spinner' for just this eventuality. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sheaf Saint Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 I'm happy to say I'm a field voice telecomms engineer. Happy because I have rcently, finally managed to get back into this industry after I was made redundant from my last job in it in 2008. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
the stain Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 I prepared to bet that Isambard Kingdom Brunel will be unimpressed. Well maybe the rules are different for muslims? In this country only proper engineers should be called engineers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHAPEL END CHARLIE Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Well maybe the rules are different for muslims? In this country only proper engineers should be called engineers. No one should be allowed to call themselves a Engineer unless they wear a hat like this at all times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Block 5 Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 HGV driver. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintscottofthenortham Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 do you mind if I ask what your qualifications are? As I have never heard of an Electrical Installation Engineer............ No offence intended (and I rather not get on my soapbox..as I don't know you personally) but I have never heard of an Electrical Installation Engineer (please enlighten me). I have worked with electricians, instrument technicians and Electrical Engineers (with the latter being somebody who has professional qualification - i.e degree). I moved to Australia six years ago where for me it is a breathe of fresh air - where (I believe rightly) only somebody with an appropriate engineering degree can be called an Engineer. An electrician is a separate profession as is an instrument technician. No disrespect intended but nobody normally calls them self a medical doctor or an accountant without first going to uni to be qualified and then practising for a few years in order to be competent and be recognised as such. Dear god... I was taking the mickey out of some of the fancy job titles that featured before me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seaford Saint Posted 9 July, 2011 Share Posted 9 July, 2011 Decommissioning Manager at Vodafone...some one has to do it and its me!!! I scoped the job, wrote the job descrpition, I now do the job......finding unused servers etc and decommissioning them.....not as easy as it sounds, I do save Vodafone millions though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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