dubai_phil Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Women's English DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS 40-ish = 49 Adventurous = Slept with everyone Athletic = No tits Average looking = Ugly Beautiful = Pathological liar Contagious Smile = Does a lot of pills Emotionally secure = On medication Feminist = Fat Free spirit = Junkie Friendship first = Former very *friendly* Fun Person = Annoying New Age = Body hair in the wrong places Open-minded = Desperate Outgoing = Loud and Embarrassing Passionate = Sloppy drunk Professional = ***** Voluptuous = Very Fat Large frame = Hugely Fat Wants Soul mate = Stalker WOMEN'S ENGLISH: 1. Yes = No 2. No = Yes 3. Maybe = No 4. We need = I want 5. I am sorry = you'll be sorry 6. We need to talk = you're in trouble 7. Sure, go ahead = you better not 8. Do what you want = you will pay for this later 9. I am not upset = Of course I am upset, you moron! 10. You're very attentive tonight = is sex all you ever think about? MEN'S ENGLISH 1. I am hungry = I am hungry 2. I am sleepy = I am sleepy 3. I am tired = I am tired 4. Nice dress = Nice cleavage! 5. I love you = let's have sex now 6. I am bored = Do you want to have sex? 7. May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you 8. Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you 9. Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you 10. Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you 11. Those shoes don't go with that outfit = I'm gay And finally..... A recent scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending on where they are in their menstrual cycle. For example, when a woman is ovulating she will prefer a man with rugged, masculine features. However, when she is menstruating, she prefers a man doused in petrol and set on fire, with scissors stuck in his eye and a cricket stump shoved up his backside. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Did anyone ever see that pic about a hoover called something signing for a football club in London? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Dyson signed for Arsenal? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 TBF, thats pretty work safe. Now, you have 2 options, make it properly NSFW or I'll take off the redundant acronyms in the title. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Men's mathematics: 9 inches = barely visible Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 23 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 23 October, 2008 TBF, thats pretty work safe. Now, you have 2 options, make it properly NSFW or I'll take off the redundant acronyms in the title. well I would do but the damned innernet censors down here with the proxy server keep deleting all the attached cartoons that went with it... delete away:-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Done Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 23 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Now, how do I post a pps file..... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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