Huffton Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 are like slinkys. No use to anyone but they make you laugh when you push them down the stairs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Corporate Ho Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 I met this really kinky girl last night. 'Humiliate me,' she said ...So I bought her a Scum shirt Tesco are releasing new Oxo cubes in Scum colours. Customers are told to look out for laughing stocks. A young boy goes to social services and tells them he has nowhere to live. "What about your parents?" asks the social worker. "No, they beat me," says the boy. "What about your grandparents?" says the social worker. "No, they beat me even harder!" says the boy. "Well ...where do you want to stay then?" replies the social worker. "Southampton," says the boy. "They don't beat anyone. I just went down to the newsagents and bought the Southampton FC magazine. Thank goodness they had porn mags to hide it in. What does a Scum fan do after he sees his team win? Turns off the Xbox. A man was found dead floating in the Itchen, wearing a blond wig, full make-up, bra, knickers, suspenders and a Scum shirt. Before informing the next of kin the police removed the Scum shirt to save the family embarrassment. A man is sitting in a pub with his jack russell dog one Sunday afternoon. The football results are coming up on the television in the corner: "Scum 0, Watford 3," reads the announcer. Suddenly the jack russell jumps up and shouts out, "Oh, no, not again." The shocked landlord says, "That's amazing. Why did he say that when it was announced that Scum lost?" "Because he's a Scum supporter," the dog's owner replies. The landlord then asks what the dog says when Scum win a match, to which the man replies, "I don't know. I've only had him six months." All trains through Southampton have been cancelled due to a massive points failure. What's the difference between Bigfoot and the Scum defence? Bigfoot has been spotted several times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 (edited) Those are so old, older than St Landy, good to see you used spell check though Edited 23 October, 2008 by Master Bates Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 MB he's used all the Spurs jokes printed in the Guardian on Tuesday (I think) and transposed us for Spurs. He's not even original! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 MB he's used all the Spurs jokes printed in the Guardian on Tuesday (I think) and transposed us for Spurs. He's not even original! Hey, tbf he's the original Corp Ho. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Shearer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 I have noticed over the years that Saints fans or people from Southampton can say pompey/portsmouth without too much fuss and term skates/skate is mostly reserved for the football. However people from portsmouth seem to have difficulty saying Southampton/Saints and almost habitually use scum/scummer without any restraint. I find it highly amusing and sad too. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Corp Ho :smt042 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyes k8 Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 I have noticed over the years that Saints fans or people from Southampton can say pompey/portsmouth without too much fuss and term skates/skate is mostly reserved for the football. However people from portsmouth seem to have difficulty saying Southampton/Saints and almost habitually use scum/scummer without any restraint. I find it highly amusing and sad too. I wouldn't say habitually, we have all sorts of pet names for you from stripes through to pony fiddlers, shire people, turnip crunchers, the lost, yokels, those without hope, Rupert's victims, Fratton's furtive visitors, next year's champions, seats to spare and the memory people. Admittedly xy's red army is off the menu but only because we don't know who picks your team. Rarely the scum. Even then it's meant affectionately as Glen Close once said. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Johnny Shearer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 I wouldn't say habitually, we have all sorts of pet names for you from stripes through to pony fiddlers, shire people, turnip crunchers, the lost, yokels, those without hope, Rupert's victims, Fratton's furtive visitors, next year's champions, seats to spare and the memory people. Admittedly xy's red army is off the menu but only because we don't know who picks your team. Rarely the scum. Even then it's meant affectionately as Glen Close once said. Must get confusing for you lot. Probably end up forgetting who you're insulting by the time you run through that lot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
OldNick Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Ho must have found a computer to send his post out from Portugal before tonights game ...ohhhh Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Denzil Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 I wouldn't say habitually, we have all sorts of pet names for you from stripes through to pony fiddlers, shire people, turnip crunchers, the lost, yokels, those without hope, Rupert's victims, Fratton's furtive visitors, next year's champions, seats to spare and the memory people. Admittedly xy's red army is off the menu but only because we don't know who picks your team. Rarely the scum. Even then it's meant affectionately as Glen Close once said. Nice to know that the decades spent in our shadow hasn't effected your inferiority complex. When was the last time a Pony was seen in Southampton btw? Try The New Forest you mug. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huffton Posted 23 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 23 October, 2008 seats to spare . Thats pretty rich coming from you lot! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tac-tics Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 They are one nil down to braga after 12 minutes. Very nice 30 yeard free kick Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr saint Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 They are one nil down to braga after 12 minutes. Very nice 30 yeard free kick Is it on TV? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Is it on TV? Setanta apparently Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tac-tics Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 my step dad is watching it over teeee intranettttt Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint lard Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Setanta is the place. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tac-tics Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 2-0 down Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint lard Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 http://www.justin.tv/midpro Or here. Braga now 2-0. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
equalizer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 The thing is they really need to win tonight to stand a chance of going through! With AC Milan at home next followed by a trip to Wolfsburg who have scored 11 goals in 4 home league games so far this season, There is a good chance they will be bottom of the table with nil points going into the final home game against Herenveen. And it will be to late by then!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexstar Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 ooohhhhhh braga we love you! Makes college much easier Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tac-tics Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Nexstar.no it wont mate haha I live in Pompey, you would' of thought after 6-0 thumping they would shut up. Nope Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
equalizer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Nexstar.no it wont mate haha I live in Pompey, you would' of thought after 6-0 thumping they would shut up. Nope You have my condolences! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOTONS EAST SIDE Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 2-0 down I might just go to NANDOS to celebrate! lol Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tac-tics Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 You have my condolences! appreciated Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexstar Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Nexstar.no it wont mate haha I live in Pompey, you would' of thought after 6-0 thumping they would shut up. Nope I know, have quite a few pompey season ticket 'friends' and the same arguments seem to have gone around in circles for the past 3 years... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Doesnt seem to be on tinternet? Surprising how there are no skates on this evening? Fair weather fans? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexstar Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 3-0 have that you skate bastards!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nexstar Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 Doesnt seem to be on tinternet? Surprising how there are no skates on this evening? Fair weather fans? http://www.justin.tv/midpro Worlds worst feed, but could just make out them scoring Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 hahahahahahahaha 3-0. IMO Steau Bucharest are better than Braga. Im sure the skates will say otherwise! Oh how AC Milan are going to bum pompey! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
equalizer Posted 23 October, 2008 Share Posted 23 October, 2008 hahahahahahahaha 3-0. IMO Steau Bucharest are better than Braga. Im sure the skates will say otherwise! Oh how AC Milan are going to bum pompey! I will be wearing my AC Milan shirt with pride on that day! Q. What does an a electric 3 pin plug and Pompey have in common? A. There both useless in Europe! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Papa Shango Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 I will be wearing my AC Milan shirt with pride on that day! I've been a Inter sympathiser forever but will gladly switch allegiances when Milan thrash the skates! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Eyes k8 Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Nice to know that the decades spent in our shadow hasn't effected your inferiority complex. When was the last time a Pony was seen in Southampton btw? Try The New Forest you mug. Mug! How did that get past the word filter. I would guess the last time an untethered pony was seen in Southampton was just before the court case about the Southampton man sexually assaulting the horse because of his unbridled lust. I'm not one to bring up ancient agricultural traditions but I'm sure you'll find the news report if you google. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Mug! How did that get past the word filter. I would guess the last time an untethered pony was seen in Southampton was just before the court case about the Southampton man sexually assaulting the horse because of his unbridled lust. I'm not one to bring up ancient agricultural traditions but I'm sure you'll find the news report if you google. 3-0 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
equalizer Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Mug! How did that get past the word filter. I would guess the last time an untethered pony was seen in Southampton was just before the court case about the Southampton man sexually assaulting the horse because of his unbridled lust. I'm not one to bring up ancient agricultural traditions but I'm sure you'll find the news report if you google. That chip on your shoulder must have a chip on its shoulder!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Southampton man sexually assaulting the horse because of his unbridled lust. He may be a Skate, but that was rather clever. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Humour reigns I see. Will we now be saddled with loads of horse jokes? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pancake Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Humour reigns I see. Will we now be saddled with loads of horse jokes? Nay, Im more than a one-trick pony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Can we quit trying to stirrup hatred please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 I can keep going until I am a little horse... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
equalizer Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 The jokes keep comming at a steady canter! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warsash saint Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 #cough# #cough# Sorry, feeling a little horse today Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nellie Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 I would guess the last time an untethered pony was seen in Southampton was just before the court case about the Southampton man sexually assaulting the horse because of his unbridled lust. #cough# #cough# Sorry, feeling a little horse today :o How did the court case go then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Can we quit trying to stirrup hatred please? In the mane, I would agree with you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeff leopard Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 i'm sick of all this nagging Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 I've got the bit between the teeth now. Oh fetlocks - I can't think of anything else Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SOTONS EAST SIDE Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Braga "cantered" to a 3-0 win over poopey! or they galloped to a 3-0 lead! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Super Saint Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 HAY! Stop it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Hacienda Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Braga "cantered" to a 3-0 win over poopey! or they galloped to a 3-0 lead! Did they hoof it up front? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 24 October, 2008 Share Posted 24 October, 2008 Maybe 'Arry's using nosebags instead of his usual brown paper ones? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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