Draino76 Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 This morning, when I got into the office, I went to scratch my ********, via my right trouser pocket. Unfortunately when I put my hand in my pocket to do the deed I had my house key in there (yale) and then proceeded to slice open the underside of my testicles. I'm sat down now with about 5 pieces of kitchen paper down my pants and still bleeding; although it has slowed. Dont do this.
Guest Dark Sotonic Mills Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 I am afraid that after reading that I had to go to the toilet in case I wet myself.
Scudamore Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Good grief man how in the hell have you managed that?! You sharpened your keys or something?
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Scudamore said: Good grief man how in the hell have you managed that?! You sharpened your keys or something? Now this is the key question in all of this.
SNSUN Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 What type of lock should a key never open? A bol-lock.
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 bridge too far said: You should BOLT down to A & E IMO. You've unlocked a world of abuse now. Draino, did you yale out loud when you done it?
Scudamore Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 When it starts to scab i suggest you don't pick it... Nope...that's rubbish...
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Scudamore said: When it starts to scab i suggest you don't pick it... Nope...that's rubbish... That's alright, at least you ain't a pikey.
Dog Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 draino76 said: this morning, when i got into the office, i went to scratch my ********, via my right trouser pocket. Unfortunately when i put my hand in my pocket to do the deed i had my house key in there (yale) and then proceeded to slice open the underside of my testicles. I'm sat down now with about 5 pieces of kitchen paper down my pants and still bleeding; although it has slowed. Dont do this. rule 1
Scudamore Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Dog said: rule 1 You want a photo of his nuts?
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Dog said: rule 1 Google image 'cut balls'
Draino76 Posted 22 October, 2008 Author Posted 22 October, 2008 Dog said: rule 1 Pls see goldenballs avatar.
bridge too far Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 If you don't hurry to A & E you might end up with a DEAD bol-LOCK :shock:
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Draino76 said: Pls see goldenballs avatar. It looks like an elephant tumour. No one's mentioned piano.
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 PompeyLass said: Is it still bleeding ? You can bleed radiators with keys, and with a name like Draino it makes me wonder just what he was REALLY doing.................
PompeyLass Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Master Bates said: You can bleed radiators with keys, and with a name like Draino it makes me wonder just what he was REALLY doing................. Lolz, that's a good point.
Draino76 Posted 22 October, 2008 Author Posted 22 October, 2008 Its stopped bleeding, I think. I've got a plaster on it now; I simply cannot wait to take the plaster off later. I woke up this morning thinking, "Yeah, I feel good today!"
scott_saints Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 It seems your key was on the ball today.
Scudamore Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 scott_saints said: It seems your key was on the ball today.
bridge too far Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Master Bates said: It looks like an elephant tumour. No one's mentioned piano. Why would he have a piano in his pocket :confused:
Jillyanne Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 bridge too far said: Why would he have a piano in his pocket :confused: It has keys on it.
bridge too far Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Jillyanne said: It has keys on it. It also has pedals. Do you suppose he might be a pedalphile?
scott_saints Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 bridge too far said: It also has pedals. Do you suppose he might be a pedalphile? Oh dear oh dear. Please give up
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 bridge too far said: It also has pedals. Do you suppose he might be a pedalphile? Go on, get on yer bike!
Draino76 Posted 22 October, 2008 Author Posted 22 October, 2008 bridge too far said: It also has pedals. Do you suppose he might be a pedalphile? Yeah please give it up. A guy that unintentionally self-mutilates his balls with his house key is not a pedalfile. Although maybe that is where this all started for some of them, but I hope thats not the case.
Master Bates Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 Draino76 said: Yeah please give it up. A guy that unintentionally self-mutilates his balls with his house key is not a pedalfile. Although maybe that is where this all started for some of them, but I hope thats not the case. Glad to hear your plumbing's fixed.
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 This thread should be in golden posts IMO, I have propper lol'd at it about 4 or 5 times! Good sport Draino. Although I would never wish such pain on anyone, Im glad it happened, as it has made me lol!
saint boggy Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 a friend of mine ripped his bowlocks a few years back. he had been out on his mate's fishing boat and they were just bringing the boat back onto the slipway, he jumped off the side of the boat to help pull it out of the water and caught his nuts on the metal thing that you tie the ropes around (sorry, i don't know what their technical name is) when he came round the next day , he told me all about it and proceeded to drop his trousers and show me the damage........... (i still have nightmares now when i think about it !!) :smt010
Jillyanne Posted 22 October, 2008 Posted 22 October, 2008 saint boggy said: a friend of mine ripped his bowlocks a few years back. he had been out on his mate's fishing boat and they were just bringing the boat back onto the slipway, he jumped off the side of the boat to help pull it out of the water and caught his nuts on the metal thing that you tie the ropes around (sorry, i don't know what their technical name is) when he came round the next day , he told me all about it and proceeded to drop his trousers and show me the damage........... (i still have nightmares now when i think about it !!) :smt010 Why would a friend do that?
saint boggy Posted 23 October, 2008 Posted 23 October, 2008 Jillyanne said: Why would a friend do that? because he is a skate (no clue as to boundaries etc!! LOL) he is one of those people who has no qualms about getting his 'bits' out in public, or mooning to all n sundry!!
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