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Celebrity ****ging


Crab Lungs

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Friend ****ged Kevin Davies sister

Friend ****ged bird off of "its a knockout?" (I think, dont know her name)

Friend of a friend ****ged Russell Brand (probably applies to most people that one)

 

Not a bad start at all!

 

The bird off "It's a Knockout"... Nell McAndrew, Lucy Alexander?

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Mates sister did a kiss and tell on Kevin Pietersen at the height of his fame, post ashes 2005. Made enough money from the story to pay off her student debts and a deposit on a house. She later admitted to me she'd never even met KP... Priceless

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Mates sister did a kiss and tell on Kevin Pietersen at the height of his fame, post ashes 2005. Made enough money from the story to pay off her student debts and a deposit on a house. She later admitted to me she'd never even met KP... Priceless

 

Fairplay

 

Reminds me that Shane Warne flopped his old man out and said "suck on this" to a fit female friend of mine.

Apparently she gave him a withering look and said "as if" before walking straight out.

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I ****ged Keith Allen's then partner for about 12 months in 2005/2006. Met her in a club in Winchester and ****ged her in the toliet (Lilly Allen grew up/lived in winny)

 

She came to my flat a few times. Once with a coat and stockings and suspenders underneath and nothing else!! Absolute animal in the sack.

 

Probably met her about 10 times. She was a playwright and journo.

 

Wierdly we both ended up staying in the same hotel in spain shortly after we met. Good holiday sex.

 

Allen dumped her shortly after. I dont think he ever found out. There is a chapter in his book about her.

 

I googled her the other day and she writes for the daily mail and a few other papers.

 

She wasant all that to look at though!!!!

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I ****ged Keith Allen's then partner for about 12 months in 2005/2006. Met her in a club in Winchester and ****ged her in the toliet (Lilly Allen grew up/lived in winny)

 

She came to my flat a few times. Once with a coat and stockings and suspenders underneath and nothing else!! Absolute animal in the sack.

 

Probably met her about 10 times. She was a playwright and journo.

 

Wierdly we both ended up staying in the same hotel in spain shortly after we met. Good holiday sex.

 

Allen dumped her shortly after. I dont think he ever found out. There is a chapter in his book about her.

 

I googled her the other day and she writes for the daily mail and a few other papers.

 

She wasant all that to look at though!!!!

 

At first this made me smile and I thought that's it son, knock 'em out. And then I thought that's not big and I felt shame for you, this fella is no friend of mine (and I bet his penis is one the littlest things there is)

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Why feel shame for me? I ****ged a bird. No one died. No big deal.

 

Anyway the last time I saw her food poisoning kicked in from a wedding I had been to earlier in the day and I had to stop mid **** and throw up in my toilet. Spent 2 days chucking up. I think it put her off!!! :(

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  • 2 weeks later...

I did Linda Reynolds, the blond one of the Reynolds Girls, three years ago when I was on a site visit for a couple of weeks to the Akritiri air base in Cyprus. She's the blond one and the years haven't been kind. As the forman who was sharing a room with me explained in the morning, all he could see was two fat people having sex and he didnt know where I finished and she started, but it put him off jelly for life. Dirty scouse *****.

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