Business speak

[hamster]

Just found this:

"1. (Medicine / Pathology) a severe outburst of excitement, often as the result of a transitory disturbance of cerebral activity"

 

Brainstorming is back, that perfectly destined what I thought it was. The term used in business-speak is theory based by a very clever man who developed his ideas from that precise description of the medical form of a 'brainstorm'. Epileptics should be rightly proud, I mean that.

[Julian H. Cope]

'Face time'

[Spudders]

Last week I heard the following utterance.........."Can I stir fry an idea in your think-wok?"

 

I'm still not quite sure what stopped me from head-butting the guy (repeatedly) right there and then.

 

Jesus that is awful, I want to punch the guy after just reading it on here!

 

I actively mock the use of business talk in our team and write down the things people say and the date and time if they are real corkers.

 

I did get in trouble with my boss recently though, when in a meeting with some big important company bosses and one of them said something stupid and I laughed out loud, shook my head from side to side in a disproving manner and then wrote it down. My boss knew exactly what I was doing and didn’t look happy, he also had a word with me about it after the meeting and said it wasn’t very professional of me. Fortunately he’s a good bloke, so wasn’t too bothered when I replied saying “nor is talking like a knob”.

 

‘Touch base’ is the one that annoys me the most, probably because it’s become so common now. Another common one I hear is people talking about doing some ‘wordsmithing’ on a document to make it sound better.

[Crispypie]

there were a couple of people at our place that got so bad we used to play sh1tspeak bingo. 4 of us had grids with a selection of quotes and if any body crossed them all off they had to shout "house" no matter what the situation. Had to stop after a while tho :/

[JackFrost]

I am sure that these people use this sort of gobbledegook to try to hide their incompetence.

 

Course they do.

 

One of the terms really annoying me at the moment is when one or more of the directors are "working flexi-time".

 

It's basically a pathetic attempt to justify why they can't get into work on time

[JackFrost]

Last week I heard the following utterance.........."Can I stir fry an idea in your think-wok?"

 

I'm still not quite sure what stopped me from head-butting the guy (repeatedly) right there and then.

 

I'd have told him to not say that to me again otherwise I'd report him for sexual harrassment

[Upwind]

I'd forgotten about this thread....................

 

I recently heard another expression whilst in a meeting. The person giving the presentation was referred to as a 'Meanderthal'...........in that he had difficulty in expressing himself concisely and would therefore often give prolonged and unfocused presentations.

 

And finally, I have also heard an expression to describe someone who constantly uses business speak - this individual should be referred to as a 'Jargonaut'