1976_Child Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 (edited) I've just been sick. Went for my usual Monday morning swim at the council swimming pool and there was a bird, about 30 ish - not bad to look at, but a bit chubby. Any way I'm doing my 50 lengths breaststroke, going up the left handside of the lane and back on the right side. There was 4 of us in the one lane, including said bird. And lo and be-feking-hold she gets her period right there and then. Looked like she had been attacked by Jaws. Feking made me puke. She calmly got out the pool and faked off to the changing room leaving her womb lining in the slow lane. Its fecking wrong. Reminded me of that scene from Blue Lagoon. Women, if you're on your period stay the fek away from swimming pools. Edited 28 May, 2011 by 1976_Child Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintscottofthenortham Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 Made me lol. Great start to the day for you then? I had the pleasure of picking up the dustsheet at work to then realise that some Scummy Student had phlegmed all over them. Had about a 5 minute walk to the loo's to be able to wash the shít off my hands. Dirty C*nt. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LGTL Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 that is horrific! That is one disgusting habit that woman seem to have. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Block 18 Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 would have thought it would have improved the taste of the water, rather than the usual chlorine/urine mix Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 You shouldn't have been swimming in her slipstream like a pervo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ohwhenthesaints Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 Rule 1. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Special K Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 I smell me some poontang Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 You should have done the Hanabal Lector lip quiver and followed her into the changing rooms for some true blood sports. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
richie Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 My son threw up in the learner pool the other week - closed it for the afternoon!! There were chunks everywhere. I didnt have the cheek to ask for a refund- we'd only been in for 5 minutes Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 ...and talking of blood..... http://www.funnyordie.com/videos/0247468f28/when-harry-met-sally-2-with-billy-crystal-helen-mirren?playlist=featured_videos Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spudders Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 After I'd finished the London marathon I saw a woman cross the line who'd coated the inside of her legs in blood and sweat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 After I'd finished the London marathon I saw a woman cross the line who'd coated the inside of her legs in blood and sweat. Big day for her then ...... London Marathon and losing her cherry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 When I saw 1976_Child at the swimming pool in his trunks, the trauma of it made me bleed out of my anus. Perhaps the same thing happened to this woman? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 I've just done some research with some women at work and they tell me that all women carry those fake blood capsules (the same ones that the rugby player used in the bloodgate scandal). They then burst them around their genitals whenever 1976_Child is around to make sure that he doesn't come near them. It's a way of warning him off as he is extremely slimey and predatory and they find him sexually repulsive. Apparently all women are taught about him at school. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Manuel Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 This is not a subject for humour. Period. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LVSaint Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 This is not a subject for humour. Period. Can I message you? Do you get PMS? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpbury Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 wooooaaaaahhh, Bodyform says it's ok. Did she go to her skydiving lesson on roller skates? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjsaint Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 My question is: if you use it to make black pudding, is that cannibalism? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 My question is: if you use it to make black pudding, is that cannibalism? As it's human blood, yes. It is however very high in protein and extremely low in fat. Get stuck in!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jjsaint Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 As it's human blood, yes. It is however very high in protein and extremely low in fat. Get stuck in!!! They could serve this alongside the 'Baby Gaga' breast milk ice cream... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TUS Posted 27 May, 2011 Share Posted 27 May, 2011 This is probably the best thread I have read on the various SF forum variations over the past 10 years. Well done all those who have participated. A very well done. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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