Dog Posted 23 May, 2011 Posted 23 May, 2011 Just wondered if anyone has ever experienced this, have you raped a cucumber or stuck a marrow up your arse? Just out of curiousity what is the best fruit to get stuck into? Or maybe you've done your misses with a bunch of bananas....... Anyway I'm just nipping off to Morrissons to get a frozen chicken.
swannymere Posted 23 May, 2011 Posted 23 May, 2011 Watermelons are best, just don't make the starter hole too big.
SNSUN Posted 23 May, 2011 Posted 23 May, 2011 I once had sex with a kiwi. Apparently she was working in this country on her year off. She had a nice pear and a peachy bum and she let me cumquat all over her face and pop her cherry.
latter day saint Posted 23 May, 2011 Posted 23 May, 2011 a nurse friend who was working in A&E at the time, told me of a bloke who came in with burns to his todger after he had warmed a mango up in the microwave, made a hole in it & attempted to bonk it
tpbury Posted 23 May, 2011 Posted 23 May, 2011 I can only refer you to the cucumber/ham/microwave combo mentioned on a thread a couple of months ago. Not strictly fruit, mind. A mate told a trifle related story,but that was consensual, though a bit messy.
1976_Child Posted 23 May, 2011 Posted 23 May, 2011 do someone up the arse and it might release a Raspberry
Deppo Posted 23 May, 2011 Posted 23 May, 2011 I am a fruit and am well up for it if anyone is interested. PM me.
Marsdinho Posted 24 May, 2011 Posted 24 May, 2011 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html
bridge too far Posted 24 May, 2011 Posted 24 May, 2011 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html I bet he thought he'd had his chips.
Quickfire Double Posted 24 May, 2011 Posted 24 May, 2011 I bet he thought he'd had his chips. I'm sure he felt waffly sorry for himself. He could have frittered away his career!
Deppo Posted 24 May, 2011 Posted 24 May, 2011 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html I don't know how that is newsworthy. It's happened to all of us at some point.
bridge too far Posted 25 May, 2011 Posted 25 May, 2011 I'm sure he felt waffly sorry for himself. He could have frittered away his career! Do you think they had to remove his Jersey for the examination?
Quickfire Double Posted 25 May, 2011 Posted 25 May, 2011 Do you think they had to remove his Jersey for the examination? No doubt, and I'm sure the whole process was a royal pain in the arse!
Quickfire Double Posted 25 May, 2011 Posted 25 May, 2011 Perhaps he was after a body piercing, and got confused between a Prince Albert and a King Edward?!
bridge too far Posted 25 May, 2011 Posted 25 May, 2011 Perhaps he was after a body piercing, and got confused between a Prince Albert and a King Edward?! Sweet... (see what I did there?)
ericofarabia Posted 25 May, 2011 Posted 25 May, 2011 Not a fruit - but Anders Svennson's old squeeze Anine Bing is certainly one Swede I'd like to have a go at!!
Quickfire Double Posted 25 May, 2011 Posted 25 May, 2011 Sweet... (see what I did there?) I did: excellent work!
Lighthouse Posted 25 May, 2011 Posted 25 May, 2011 Not a fruit - but Anders Svennson's old squeeze Anine Bing is certainly one Swede I'd like to have a go at!! She's Danish, but I like your thinking.
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