Dog Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 Just wondered if anyone has ever experienced this, have you raped a cucumber or stuck a marrow up your arse? Just out of curiousity what is the best fruit to get stuck into? Or maybe you've done your misses with a bunch of bananas....... Anyway I'm just nipping off to Morrissons to get a frozen chicken. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Colinjb Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 Apples work brilliantly, but only in pie form. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swannymere Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 Watermelons are best, just don't make the starter hole too big. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 I once had sex with a kiwi. Apparently she was working in this country on her year off. She had a nice pear and a peachy bum and she let me cumquat all over her face and pop her cherry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 I once made a hole in a grape and f**ked that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
latter day saint Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 a nurse friend who was working in A&E at the time, told me of a bloke who came in with burns to his todger after he had warmed a mango up in the microwave, made a hole in it & attempted to bonk it Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Durleyfos Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 I like to stick my cock between a nice pair. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tpbury Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 I can only refer you to the cucumber/ham/microwave combo mentioned on a thread a couple of months ago. Not strictly fruit, mind. A mate told a trifle related story,but that was consensual, though a bit messy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1976_Child Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 do someone up the arse and it might release a Raspberry Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 23 May, 2011 Share Posted 23 May, 2011 I am a fruit and am well up for it if anyone is interested. PM me. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marsdinho Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html I bet he thought he'd had his chips. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quickfire Double Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 I bet he thought he'd had his chips. I'm sure he felt waffly sorry for himself. He could have frittered away his career! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 24 May, 2011 Share Posted 24 May, 2011 http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/3330057/Vicar-went-to-hospital-with-potato-stuck-in-bottom.html I don't know how that is newsworthy. It's happened to all of us at some point. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Block 18 Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 not sure about fruit, prefer a good vagtable myself Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mattio Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 saintkiptanui sticks frozen bananas up his arse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DECROMAX Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 A Cabbage? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 I'm sure he felt waffly sorry for himself. He could have frittered away his career! Do you think they had to remove his Jersey for the examination? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quickfire Double Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 Do you think they had to remove his Jersey for the examination? No doubt, and I'm sure the whole process was a royal pain in the arse! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quickfire Double Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 Perhaps he was after a body piercing, and got confused between a Prince Albert and a King Edward?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 Perhaps he was after a body piercing, and got confused between a Prince Albert and a King Edward?! Sweet... (see what I did there?) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 Not a fruit - but Anders Svennson's old squeeze Anine Bing is certainly one Swede I'd like to have a go at!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 Whereas this does nothing for me Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Quickfire Double Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 Sweet... (see what I did there?) I did: excellent work! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 25 May, 2011 Share Posted 25 May, 2011 Not a fruit - but Anders Svennson's old squeeze Anine Bing is certainly one Swede I'd like to have a go at!! She's Danish, but I like your thinking. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 26 May, 2011 Share Posted 26 May, 2011 John Lennon recommends giving peas a chance. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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