Parents 'responsible for children's bad behaviour'

[Thorpe-le-Saint]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-13176049

 

Now I'm not a member of NASUWT (I'm a member of NUT) but I can't help but feel that by solely blaming parents for pupil's bad behaviour they're making a rod for the collective back of the profession. A case in point is a girl who I teach: She has what you might call a 'notorious' surname and has had a few siblings through the school who have caused problems and because of this, staff automatically expect her to raise hell when in fact she is one of the most polite and well behaved children I have had the pleasure to teach. Yet she is regualarly sent to the isolation room by others and I find it frustrating that some teachers feel that bad behaviour has nothing to do with them; more often than not, it is the incompetent teachers who cause half of these problems by not changing their behaviour management stratagies etc.

 

However, NASUWT have hit upon an important point in the case of an increasing number of pupils who are failing to bring in the most basic equipment yet remember the 'crucial' items such as their iPods. It is staggering the number of parents who expect the school to finance stationary for their children out of it's budget. As I've said on a previous thread, I'm still young enough to be 'in touch' with how to conceal headphones etc yet the baby boomer teachers seem to really struggle with it and it totally undermines any authority they have in the classroom when pupils get away with obvious breaches of a school's code of conduct.

 

It will only take a collective effort from teachers and parents to solve the Conservative party's bee in it's bonnet about behaviour in schools. Giving teachers the power to search pupils is, IMO, a dangerous development, especially as the GTC is being disolved which leaves teachers with prejudices the option to single out a specific minority group.

 

How would we right this wrong TSW? The cane etc is pointless as violence breeds violence (think about the message being conveyed!) so is it purely the school's problem, the parent's problem or, as is my opinion, it takes an effort from both parties working together?

[miserableoldgit]

This is quite simple. It IS the parents responsibility to make their chidren know what is right and what is wrong. I brought up two daughters and I felt that it was important that they were their own people and that they were not influenced by their "peers" at school. They have both grown up to be women that I can be proud of. Parents have a great responsibility. If you have children, then you have to make sure that they become important, valuable members of society. they are reflecgtions of yourself.

[richie]

Agreed. Its not up to teachers to bring up kids!!!

[Winnersaint]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-13176049

A case in point is a girl who I teach: She has what you might call a 'notorious' surname and has had a few siblings through the school who have caused problems and because of this, staff automatically expect her to raise hell when in fact she is one of the most polite and well behaved children I have had the pleasure to teach. Yet she is regularly sent to the isolation room by others and I find it frustrating that some teachers feel that bad behaviour has nothing to do with them; more often than not, it is the incompetent teachers who cause half of these problems by not changing their behaviour management strategies etc.

 

Nail hit on head. I manage an Inclusion Centre which is beginning to morph more into a PRU Pupil Referral Unit for our school. All too often I have to work with young people who are denied access to education within the classroom due to a variety of spurious reasons that really boil down to the teacher (Let's not forget they are the adult here) disliking the pupils with which they have had issues with in the past. Much, but not all of the time, the issues are of their making and not being prepared to modify their behaviours towards the young people only exacerbates the situation. These young people are not in the main two headed ogres. Violence towards our staff is phenomenally rare. Most of the students I end up working with are rude; some are occasionally abusive (usually directed at the situations they find themselves in that they are unable to deal with, not at the teachers); the majority engage in low level misbehaviour which because it is challenged in an inappropriate manner by adults often develos into something much more serious.

As a parent I would agree with the sentiment that young people should not be allowed to disrupt or interfere with the education of others, but there needs to be recognition that the burden of responsibility for behaviour in classrooms lies in the first instance with the classroom teachers. If they abrogate their responsibilities and merely 'pass the buck' (most usually to a Head of Year/House) they undermine their own authority. Rant over!

[JustMike]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/education-13176049

 

Now I'm not a member of NASUWT (I'm a member of NUT) but I can't help but feel that by solely blaming parents for pupil's bad behaviour they're making a rod for the collective back of the profession. A case in point is a girl who I teach: She has what you might call a 'notorious' surname and has had a few siblings through the school who have caused problems and because of this, staff automatically expect her to raise hell when in fact she is one of the most polite and well behaved children I have had the pleasure to teach. Yet she is regualarly sent to the isolation room by others and I find it frustrating that some teachers feel that bad behaviour has nothing to do with them; more often than not, it is the incompetent teachers who cause half of these problems by not changing their behaviour management stratagies etc.

 

However, NASUWT have hit upon an important point in the case of an increasing number of pupils who are failing to bring in the most basic equipment yet remember the 'crucial' items such as their iPods. It is staggering the number of parents who expect the school to finance stationary for their children out of it's budget. As I've said on a previous thread, I'm still young enough to be 'in touch' with how to conceal headphones etc yet the baby boomer teachers seem to really struggle with it and it totally undermines any authority they have in the classroom when pupils get away with obvious breaches of a school's code of conduct.

 

It will only take a collective effort from teachers and parents to solve the Conservative party's bee in it's bonnet about behaviour in schools. Giving teachers the power to search pupils is, IMO, a dangerous development, especially as the GTC is being disolved which leaves teachers with prejudices the option to single out a specific minority group.

 

How would we right this wrong TSW? The cane etc is pointless as violence breeds violence (think about the message being conveyed!) so is it purely the school's problem, the parent's problem or, as is my opinion, it takes an effort from both parties working together?

 

It is the parents responsibility though. What you install during those first 5 years of their lives (boundaries etc) is essential to their early schooling. Yes, we need to have schools singing from the same song sheet which in my experience with 4 kids happens and works very well. Your point about the child with a "name" is a different topic imo as this is down to individual teachers and their experiences with these children in question. Yes, this kid may be an angel for you but who's to say that is the case throughout. In my experience, where I have seen bad kids, when it comes to parents evening, you can see why. What hope do some children have when the parents are infact worse!

 

Just a quick point on the cane, it was around when i was at school but as a deterent it worked, but then again we had more respect back then so wouldnt dare do half the things some kids do today.

[um pahars]

there needs to be recognition that the burden of responsibility for behaviour in classrooms lies in the first instance with the classroom teachers.

 

I'm afraid that whilst you may have some valid points elsewhere in your response, I have to take issue with this one line. It is the responsibility of the individual with regards how they conduct themselves in classrooms (and indeed all walks of life). We should never be looking to transfer that responsibility on to others. Indeed, I believe that when we do we start to make excuses for poor behaviour and the notion of responsibility starts to blur, this can only exasparate the issue.

 

Whilst there may be other contributory factors, including poor teachers, nothing should take away the basic tenet we are all responsible for our own choices and actions and have to suffer the sanctions of poor behaviour or enjoy the rewards of good behaviour.

[ecuk268]

Mrs ecuk268 has been in infant teaching all her career, at one time a deputy head but now just regular supply work. She's taught in a variety of schools including some in "difficult" areas.

 

Some kids don't stand a chance due to their parents having no interest at all in education. Some of the kids start school without knowing what a book is yet others start being able to do basic reading.

 

The infant teacher has to cope with these widely varying abilities and try to get all of them to the same level. The home environment is extremely important for child to achieve at at school. If the teacher has to spend the first few weeks trying to get a child to just sit still for a few minutes and not go wandering off then other more important aspects of education will suffer.

 

Children starting school without even the simplest ideas of reasonable behaviour can be a big problem. That has to be down to the parents.

[Kingsbridge Saint]

If I agree to raise my kids the right way and teach them to be open minded responsible citizens - will teachers agree not to foist their left wing ideologies, and political correctness on them at school?

[pap]

Parents should be responsible for their kids behaviour, but in reality, it's not going to happen. The only qualification you actually need to have children is fertility. I'm lucky to have two kids of my own, but it does annoy me that I've got mates who have been trying for years on one hand, and people who don't give a crap about potential offspring banging them out for England.

[Winnersaint]

I'm afraid that whilst you may have some valid points elsewhere in your response, I have to take issue with this one line. It is the responsibility of the individual with regards how they conduct themselves in classrooms (and indeed all walks of life). We should never be looking to transfer that responsibility on to others. Indeed, I believe that when we do we start to make excuses for poor behaviour and the notion of responsibility starts to blur, this can only exasparate the issue.

 

Whilst there may be other contributory factors, including poor teachers, nothing should take away the basic tenet we are all responsible for our own choices and actions and have to suffer the sanctions of poor behaviour or enjoy the rewards of good behaviour.

 

I'd agree with you wholeheartedly. this is something very close to my professional heart and amidst the rant I probably haven't been explicit enough in what I was trying to say. What I was trying to convey was that the burden of responsibility in dealing effectively with behaviour in classrooms lies with classroom teachers. Of course it is the responsibility of all individuals, both adult and children to conduct themselves appropriately and to take responsibility for their own actions without excuses being given and accept appropriate sanctions. This is one of the fundamental premises of a 'Behaviour for Change' programme I run in school. You would however be amazed how often relatively minor situations are escalated into something far more serious by adults. This usually happens when they personalise problems in the classroom, hold grudges or indeed as the OP intimated make assumptions as to how a young person behaves based on other factors which have little or no relevance to the individual.

[sadoldgit]

My partners son recently split up with his girlfriend. She was 15 when they met. She uses language like a trooper on Facebook. Sleeps around and brags about it on Facebook. Has caused £650 of damaged by smashing a plate glass window of a shop she worked in but was sacked from and talked about it on Facebook. She does drugs and is you basixc nightmare. Her parents are on Facebook as her friends so read all of this and yet do nothing about her behaviour. Teachers can only do so much but parents need to be responsible for their own childen's behaviour. When I was at school the teachers used to carry canes and could dish out punishment on the spot. I was terrfified of thm. Now kids have no respect for teachers (or parents) and this has to change.

[ecuk268]

My partners son recently split up with his girlfriend. She was 15 when they met. She uses language like a trooper on Facebook. Sleeps around and brags about it on Facebook. Has caused £650 of damaged by smashing a plate glass window of a shop she worked in but was sacked from and talked about it on Facebook. She does drugs and is you basixc nightmare. Her parents are on Facebook as her friends so read all of this and yet do nothing about her behaviour. Teachers can only do so much but parents need to be responsible for their own childen's behaviour. When I was at school the teachers used to carry canes and could dish out punishment on the spot. I was terrfified of thm. Now kids have no respect for teachers (or parents) and this has to change.

 

Quite right. When I was a nipper the most frightening thing someone could say to me if I was up to no good was "Wait till I tell your parents".

 

These days, if teachers attempt to discipline children, it's often the parents who are up in arms rather than being supportive.

[Deppo]

If I agree to raise my kids the right way and teach them to be open minded responsible citizens - will teachers agree not to foist their left wing ideologies, and political correctness on them at school?

 

Do you raise your kids with a "do as I say, not as I do" approach?