dune Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 I'm reknowned for my tact and diplomacy, but a delicate political situation has arisen that cannot be ignored and must be dealt with but i'm having difficulty formulating a battle plan that will achieve all objectives. About 6 weeks ago I purchased a dyson vacum cleaner which meant that I was in posession of 3 vacum cleaners with 1 surplus to requirement. To this end I decided to give the oldest vacum cleaner to my elderly next door neighbour so she could keep it upstairs because she had difficulty lifting her vacum up the stairs. The said vacum was in vgg being less than 2 years old and still had over 4 years of its 6 year guarantee. However I was very hurt when less than a week after giving her the cleaner she informed she had leant it to her son and his wife as theirs had gone wrong. Bearing in mind that said son and wife both have good fulltime jobs and I don't like her son because he's a cadging bastard I was not at all happy. We are now about 6 weeks down the line and he still hasn't brought it back because "he needs to travel 15 miles to a retail park to buy a new one despite living in a fairly large town complete with stores such as currys and argos". this doesn't wash with me and given the sort of person I know he is he has thought "nice one - i've got a free vacum and that's the end of it". WRONG. I'm not having it, but it's a delicate situation because I don't want to fall out with my neighbour. The next time I see him i'm going to have him about it - how should I best tackle the issue to fullfil the missions objectives: 1. Keep the peace with my neighbour. 2.a) Make sure he either brings it back, or 2.b) I Get £50 out of him for it. As a rule i'll do anyone a favour, but in his case if he's to keep it he's not not going to get it dirt cheap out of principle. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 You gave it away therefore you gave up your right to say what happens to it. The lady gave it to her son so I am afraid you will just have to get over it. "How sad, too bad" as us colonials say. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 20 March, 2011 Author Share Posted 20 March, 2011 You gave it away therefore you gave up your right to say what happens to it. The lady gave it to her son so I am afraid you will just have to get over it. "How sad, too bad" as us colonials say. I realise this, but I gave it to her to use upstairs and i'm not going to let it drop because i'm ******ed off about it. He'll be visiting today and i'm going to be having words, but i'd like it to be an amicable resolution. It's looking like i'm gonna have to direct - 1. I gave the vacum to her because she's old and can't carry hers upstairs, 2. He's had more than enough time to buy a new one. 3. He will bring it back next time he comes over. 4. Or he can have it for £50 and he can have the guarantee. Needless to say he won't like this and the old dear won't like this, but i've been taken for a **** and therefore it can't just be left because if I do leave it i'll want to punch him every time i see him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_bert Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 I once gave my mate a computer game that I no longer wanted. He sold it 2 weeks later after finishing with it. Tosser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Huffton Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Hopefully if you handle it right he will be embarrassed about what a tw at he's been and will give the hoover back to the old lady pretty sharpish, and won#t find out about your little chat. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sergei Gotsmanov Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Hopefully if you handle it right he will be embarrassed about what a tw at he's been and will give the hoover back to the old lady pretty sharpish, and won#t find out about your little chat. Just tell the old dear that your new one is at the repairers already ("wasn't like that when they made them in the UK "etc etc) and you need yours back for a while. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sfcuk fan Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 . Hey m8, listen, look I'm sorry if you have taken offence but its a nice hoover thanks. Tell you what, I'll drop it back to her next weekend if you like. Can't do it sooner cos gotta wait for me dole cheque like so I can get petrol , - unlees of course you want to send me a fiver by paypal and I'll drop the hoover back sooner ... maybe ? Cheers Sucker ( pun intended ) . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barney Trubble Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Dune, he sounds like a Pikey so you may have problems getting any money out of him, at best he may offer to pay you £2 a week over 25 weeks. However, I would deem this unlikely as he is now in possession of the item and will therefore apply diversion/time distracting tactics such as going to his mums less and changing the time schedule so that you won't be looking out for him. He will work on the logic that the longer he avoids you then the less likely you are to want to chase the issue an hope apathy will rule in your mind - i'e you'll start thinking " Sod it, I can't be arsed". I understand your situation, as I had a similar problem with a dole-sponger who requested to use my electric drill once on the understanding that he'd return it to me after a few days, of course, I then had to chase the issue. It's the principle isn't it Dune? Principle is a really small noun that has such huge significance and it would appear that the man in question has little understanding of it. It's important to keep the peace with your neighbour so don't burn bridges there, Sergei has made a good suggestion but i'd personally speak to him about your thoughts in a non-threatening way when/if you see him later and gauge his attitude from here. If he decides to take the non-compliance attitude, then you may have to up the ante. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Griffo Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Nut him. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aintforever Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Get a life and stop worrying about old hoovers you don't need. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draino76 Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Don't help the old bint any more. If she gives away the hoover its her problem. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Seduce his Mum, thatll nark him off Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jimmy Gabriel's Halo Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Get it back pronto because those Dyson's really are rubbish, very unreliable and yours will soon blow up/eat the cat/suck up all your carpet and will be no longer usable. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 Get it back pronto because those Dyson's really are rubbish' date=' very unreliable and yours will soon blow up/eat the cat/suck up all your carpet and will be no longer usable.[/quote'] this. Dysons are utter carp, we suffered one for 3 months before getting rid. Get a henry and have done. oh, and I cant see where you can go with your particular situation myself, you gave her the machine so really its hers to do as she likes with. Mark it up to experience, but maybe make a point of telling the scratter that you hope his mother will still be able to vac her upstairs now hes taken her vacuum. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Smirking_Saint Posted 20 March, 2011 Share Posted 20 March, 2011 sh%g his nan Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Micky Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 Buy the old bint a bungalow and then she won't need the bloody hoover - problem solved. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mr Tickle Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 I'm reknowned for my tact and diplomacy, but a delicate political situation has arisen that cannot be ignored and must be dealt with but i'm having difficulty formulating a battle plan that will achieve all objectives. About 6 weeks ago I purchased a dyson vacum cleaner which meant that I was in posession of 3 vacum cleaners with 1 surplus to requirement. To this end I decided to give the oldest vacum cleaner to my elderly next door neighbour so she could keep it upstairs because she had difficulty lifting her vacum up the stairs. The said vacum was in vgg being less than 2 years old and still had over 4 years of its 6 year guarantee. However I was very hurt when less than a week after giving her the cleaner she informed she had leant it to her son and his wife as theirs had gone wrong. Bearing in mind that said son and wife both have good fulltime jobs and I don't like her son because he's a cadging bastard I was not at all happy. We are now about 6 weeks down the line and he still hasn't brought it back because "he needs to travel 15 miles to a retail park to buy a new one despite living in a fairly large town complete with stores such as currys and argos". this doesn't wash with me and given the sort of person I know he is he has thought "nice one - i've got a free vacum and that's the end of it". WRONG. I'm not having it, but it's a delicate situation because I don't want to fall out with my neighbour. The next time I see him i'm going to have him about it - how should I best tackle the issue to fullfil the missions objectives: 1. Keep the peace with my neighbour. 2.a) Make sure he either brings it back, or 2.b) I Get £50 out of him for it. As a rule i'll do anyone a favour, but in his case if he's to keep it he's not not going to get it dirt cheap out of principle. This is very similar to a story of mine... My old dear is getting on a bit and is finding looking after her house a bit of a struggle on her own as her health is not as clever as it was. She finds lifting the vacuum up and down the stairs a real pain in the ass. Anyway there is this really sad bloke who lives next door to her who is always trying to chat her up. This sad muppet still lives with his mum. He wears tank tops and a bow tie and is a typical mummy’s boy. Rumour has it his mum still tucks him into bed of an evening despite the fact he is a grown man. He has been caught and cautioned by the police on a number of occasions for stealing old ladies under wear off of their washing lines and has also been caught twice masturbating in the bushes at the over 65's bowls club. To cut a long story short, this weirdo gave my old dear a relatively new Dyson vacuum to keep upstairs in her house to apparently "save her lugging the other one up and down the stairs." Thoughtful you might think however I smelt a rat as this guy really can’t be trusted. So I blagged the old dear and told her that my vacuum had just packed up with the intention of taking a closer look at the unit the weirdo had giving her. My suspicions where confirmed, when I examined the vacuum as predicted the dirty low life has installed a camera which points directly up the vacuum users lower garments. Therefore do I: A - Go and knock him out? B - Call the old bill? C - Try this trick out on the beautiful Swedish Blonde next door? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 This is very similar to a story of mine... My old dear is getting on a bit and is finding looking after her house a bit of a struggle on her own as her health is not as clever as it was. She finds lifting the vacuum up and down the stairs a real pain in the ass. Anyway there is this really sad bloke who lives next door to her who is always trying to chat her up. This sad muppet still lives with his mum. He wears tank tops and a bow tie and is a typical mummy’s boy. Rumour has it his mum still tucks him into bed of an evening despite the fact he is a grown man. He has been caught and cautioned by the police on a number of occasions for stealing old ladies under wear off of their washing lines and has also been caught twice masturbating in the bushes at the over 65's bowls club. To cut a long story short, this weirdo gave my old dear a relatively new Dyson vacuum to keep upstairs in her house to apparently "save her lugging the other one up and down the stairs." Thoughtful you might think however I smelt a rat as this guy really can’t be trusted. So I blagged the old dear and told her that my vacuum had just packed up with the intention of taking a closer look at the unit the weirdo had giving her. My suspicions where confirmed, when I examined the vacuum as predicted the dirty low life has installed a camera which points directly up the vacuum users lower garments. Therefore do I: A - Go and knock him out? B - Call the old bill? C - Try this trick out on the beautiful Swedish Blonde next door? I couldn't possibly advocate violence. Go and steal his collection of Nazi memorabillia and uniforms. Oh! Don't forget the swagger stick! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeff Le Taxi Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 These two above posts brightened up a gloomy Monay morning! never laughed so much at a forum thread (-: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
angelman Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 A - Go and knock him out? B - Call the old bill? C - Try this trick out on the beautiful Swedish Blonde next door? B - Call the OB. While he might be a harmless(ish) pervert praying on the elderly, what happens if he decides that they are too old and goes after kiddies instead? He needs to be put on the sex offenders register. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Petersfield Saint Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 I once gave my mate a computer game that I no longer wanted. He sold it 2 weeks later after finishing with it. Tosser. I once lent a "mate" a computer game that I most definitely wanted back. He also sold it after finishing with it. Even bigger tosser. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 I gave my Ford Escort Ghia X to my girlfriends Aunt as a favour as she needed a car with power steering etc for free, as I'm nice like that. ***** sold it 3 months later for £650. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 to all those who have loaned things to elderly neighbours and relatives who have then given said things away to the unneeding there is a solution, get rent a robber to go round and nick it back.You used to be able to find a rent a robber in any pub or club,ideal for transforming the wife's extravagances into insurance cash. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 to all those who have loaned things to elderly neighbours and relatives who have then given said things away to the unneeding there is a solution, get rent a robber to go round and nick it back.You used to be able to find a rent a robber in any pub or club,ideal for transforming the wife's extravagances into insurance cash. Nah, not good enough. They need to be punished for being selfish people. Rent-a-Pedo and get them to go after the kids and Grandkids. That'll learn them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 Nah, not good enough. They need to be punished for being selfish people. Rent-a-Pedo and get them to go after the kids and Grandkids. That'll learn them. Well for a few quid more most RaRs will smash up the place a bit as well, **** on the carpet etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dibden Purlieu Saint Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 Well for a few quid more most RaRs will smash up the place a bit as well, **** on the carpet etc. That does make it a bit better I suppose. The pedo's usually do it for free. More bang for your buck. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 21 March, 2011 Author Share Posted 21 March, 2011 I've decided how i'm going to handle this. I mow her lawn for a favour when I do mine and that's gonna stop. The other day she mentioned she was gonna ask her son or the boy over the road to do it and at the time I thought no more of it, but have just realised it was a hint. Well that's done me. I don't take hints. Last year she asked her son to do it and he said he didn't know how to work her lawn mower (yeah right) so when I see her next i'm gonna mention that it'll help me out just having to do my own garden and that when her son comes over next give me a shout and i'll show him how to work the mover seeing how he didn't know how to work it when she asked him to do it last. And while i'm showing him how to work it i'll bring the subject of the vacum cleaner up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 21 March, 2011 Share Posted 21 March, 2011 Social skills are clearly not your strong point. If you were in the least bit mature you wouldn't spend your waking hours agonising over this (to you) insoluble and epic moral maze. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 21 March, 2011 Author Share Posted 21 March, 2011 Social skills are clearly not your strong point. If you were in the least bit mature you wouldn't spend your waking hours agonising over this (to you) insoluble and epic moral maze. I'm fully integrated into my community so know what is and what is not acceptable, but thanks for your concern. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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