Favourite comedic quotes....

[saint lard]

Alan Partridge......

 

I know lying is wrong, but if the elephant man came in now in a blouse with some make up on, and said "how do I look?" Would you say, bearing in mind he's depressed and has respiratory problems, would you say "go and take that blusher off you mis-shapened elephant tranny"? No. You'd say "You look nice... John"

 

 

Steve Martin.....

 

“I believe you should place a woman on a pedestal - high enough so you can look up her dress”

 

 

Robin williams.....

 

"Ah, yes, divorce ... from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet.”

 

Robin williams.....

 

“Ah...so many pedestrians, so little time...”

Edited 18 March, 2011 by saint lard

[scotty]

from caddyshack, danny the caddy talking to Ty the club rich guy on a putting green;

 

"I got to get this scholarship, or I'll be working in the lumberyard all my life."

 

Ty; " whats wrong with lumber? I own two lumberyards"

 

Danny; "I notice you dont spend much time there."

 

Ty; "well, I'm not sure where they are..."

[ericofarabia]

Pick any moment from Airplane - absolutely crammed full of classics.