Turkish Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 almost upon us, the most pointless "celebration" of the year. SO what have you clowns got planned for your delightful ladies (or men, if you are a woman or a homosexual) this year then?
Liquidshokk Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 almost upon us, the most pointless "celebration" of the year. SO what have you clowns got planned for your delightful ladies (or men, if you are a woman or a homosexual) this year then? I'm free if you are ;O)
Turkish Posted 3 February, 2011 Author Posted 3 February, 2011 I'm free if you are ;O) I dont celebrate valentines day, why take your bird out because you feel you have to because everyone else is? It means nothing, as i explained long ago to my incumbent, would she prefer i take her out because i want to or because i think i should do? No doubt some of the postees on here will have exciting things planned for their partners though.
JackFrost Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 (edited) What have I got planned for my wife valentine's day? Not sure yet, I may make an extra effort to leave the toilet seat down after I've needed to go that day Edited 3 February, 2011 by JackFrost
Turkish Posted 3 February, 2011 Author Posted 3 February, 2011 What have I got planned for my wife valentine's day? Not sure yet, I may make an extra effort to leave the toilet seat down after I've needed to go that day Good lad, let her give you a blow job as well and she'll have a top day.
Griffo Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 Luckily I'm not with the girlfriend anymore so I don't have to make some stupid, pointless gesture for a stupid, pointless day.
BadgerBadger Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 Don't do anything on V day as I don't need to be dictated to by the consumer monkeys about when I need to tell my wife I love her. That said I always send some flowers to her at work once a year on some random day and always sign them from the dog.
Dig Dig Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 Its just such a stupid tacky day! Dickheads all running around with their flowers and bears and a card which 10000 other girls will also get. Just a complete scam and money spinner
Dig Dig Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 Don't do anything on V day as I don't need to be dictated to by the consumer monkeys about when I need to tell my wife I love her. That said I always send some flowers to her at work once a year on some random day and always sign them from the dog. Why let the dog take the credit?!
Junction 9 Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 Luckily I'm not with the girlfriend anymore so I don't have to make some stupid, pointless gesture for a stupid, pointless day. The fact that you didn't, is probably why you're not.
Saint-scooby Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 I will be selling red roses at inflated prices to total lame ******s who think feb 14th is the day of love, whats wrong with March the 4th or June 29th ??
SuperMikey Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 I know a cracking owl sanctuary "They've gone to....Longstanton Spice Museum"
SuperMikey Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 I will be selling red roses at inflated prices to total lame ******s who think feb 14th is the day of love, whats wrong with March the 4th or June 29th ?? Because it's the last day of the Glastonbury festival, not very romantic when you've not washed for half a week, you're caked in mud and someone was sick on your only pair of shoes.
trousers Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 almost upon us, the most pointless "celebration" of the year. SO what have you clowns got planned for your delightful ladies (or men, if you are a woman or a homosexual) this year then? Nothing. I adore the current Mrs Trousers 365 days a year, not one day a year when Interflora and Hallmark Cards tell me I should. FFS
scotty Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 I dont celebrate valentines day, why take your bird out because you feel you have to because everyone else is? It means nothing, as i explained long ago to my incumbent, would she prefer i take her out because i want to or because i think i should do? No doubt some of the postees on here will have exciting things planned for their partners though. Good lad, let her give you a blow job as well and she'll have a top day. ....and they say romance is dead.
Deppo Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 I'll be out with the EDL, who are all closet homosexuals. We have a special night of fun planned.
saint_stevo Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 I want true love for valentines. And for me thats a blowy while i'm taking a dump. Nothing less. Stevo, single
scotty Posted 3 February, 2011 Posted 3 February, 2011 I'll be out with the EDL, who are all closet homosexuals. We have a special night of fun planned. I want true love for valentines. And for me thats a blowy while i'm taking a dump. Nothing less. Stevo, single I spot an opportunity for deppo and stevo here
benjii Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I know a cracking owl sanctuary "They've gone to....Longstanton Spice Museum" I shook Jackie Stewart's hand. First class.
Tokyo-Saint Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 My mrs is Japanese. In japan it is the other way around, women push the boat out for men on valentines day. last year she got me a weekend away, the year before a new iPod. I'm loving it but as we live in London now, I'm dreading the day someone tells her the way it goes in the uk.
Doctoroncall Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 Because it's the last day of the Glastonbury festival, not very romantic when you've not washed for half a week, you're caked in mud and someone was sick on your only pair of shoes. I don't thing you get this love is more than what's on the surface marlarkey.
mickn Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I'll be out with the EDL, who are all closet homosexuals. We have a special night of fun planned. A world record daisy chain?
SuperMikey Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I don't thing you get this love is more than what's on the surface marlarkey. Agreed, but it's difficult to form a meaningful relationship when being within 20 yards of someone makes you gag.
Minty Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 My wife's birthday is on Valentines Day, so trying to do something for her birthday becomes a major pain the ass... more often than not we have to do something before or after the 14th.
Golactico Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I shook Jackie Stewart's hand. First class. I always get my other half a chocolate orange with superficial damage.
SuperMikey Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I get them for all women I know below the age of 50. Above that it just seems sarcastic.
Turkish Posted 4 February, 2011 Author Posted 4 February, 2011 Agreed, but it's difficult to form a meaningful relationship when being within 20 yards of someone makes you gag. and with that wealth of experience you have of meaningful realtionships you know this do you?
NorthamSteve Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I dont celebrate valentines day, why take your bird out because you feel you have to because everyone else is? It means nothing, as i explained long ago to my incumbent, would she prefer i take her out because i want to or because i think i should do? No doubt some of the postees on here will have exciting things planned for their partners though. I do the same. Mrs Steve agrees.
SuperMikey Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 and with that wealth of experience you have of meaningful realtionships you know this do you? Same question reversed Mr Turkish.
Draino76 Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I shall send e-valentines cards to all my facebook girlfriends that are just recently single or have been married for long time; and see what happens.
Patrick Bateman Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 almost upon us, the most pointless "celebration" of the year. SO what have you clowns got planned for your delightful ladies (or men, if you are a woman or a homosexual) this year then? Well, it's actually my other half's birthday. Which you might think is a win-win as I only have to do the meal thing once a year. But no, it just means that I can't book anything or do anything for her birthday because all the mongs "celebrating" Valentine's Day have booked everything and pushed the prices up. F**k-nuggets.
Saintandy666 Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 Well, I told my girlfriend I wouldn't be doing any of this Valentines Day bull****. Apparently though, that means the world is crumbling down around us. After a ****load of pressure from her friends that I simply MUST do something for her, I guess I'll just take her out for the night, but it won't be any different or special than anything else we ever do! I hate the way it's always the man who has to do it all.
Turkish Posted 4 February, 2011 Author Posted 4 February, 2011 Same question reversed Mr Turkish. oh i am sure you'll spend valentines day alone knocking one out over some bird totally out of your league.
latter day saint Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 if she is lucky i will nick a card from work & pay for a take-away. that should do the trick.
Minty Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 Well, it's actually my other half's birthday. Which you might think is a win-win as I only have to do the meal thing once a year. But no, it just means that I can't book anything or do anything for her birthday because all the mongs "celebrating" Valentine's Day have booked everything and pushed the prices up. F**k-nuggets. Are you dating my wife?!
SuperMikey Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 oh i am sure you'll spend valentines day alone knocking one out over some bird totally out of your league. Probably. At least i'm honest about it though, rather than pretending not to care.
saint_bert Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 Chelsea vs Fulham that night. Sky sports 1 it is then.
Sheaf Saint Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I am quite lucky that my girlfriend views Valentines day the same as I do: that it is a load of commercial tosh that exists solely to stop companies like Hallmark and Clinton Cards from suffering a huge dip in sales in February. I feel genuine pity for anybody who feels it necessary to buy a crap card with a tacky love poem inside and a heart-shaped balloon / teddy bear just to show their partner how much they love her.
warsash saint Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 Always remember getting a hard time from an ex girlfriend for going to the Saints Liverpool game many many years ago one Valentines Day. I remember it being bloody cold, MLT scorring a couple, as did Craid Maskell & a water pipe bursting in the East Stand. Anyway she did not want me to go...I went & we split up a few days later:lol:
100%Red&White Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 This always seems appropriate this time of the year... If Men Wrote Problem Pages Q: My husband wants a threesome with my best friend and me. A: Obviously your husband cannot get enough of you! Knowing that there is only one of you he can only settle for the next best thing — your best friend. Far from being an issue, this can bring you closer together. Why not get some of your old college roommates involved too? If you are still apprehensive, maybe you should let him be with your friends without you. If you're still not sure then just perform oral sex on him and cook him a nice meal while you think about it. Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him. A: Do it. Semen can help you lose weight and gives a great glow to your skin. Interestingly, men know this. His offer to allow you to perform oral sex on him is totally selfless. This shows he loves you. The best thing to do is to thank him by performing it twice a day; then cook him a nice meal. Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys. A: This is perfectly natural behaviour and it should be encouraged. The Man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. A night out chasing young single girls is a great stress relief and can foster a more peaceful and relaxing home. Remember, nothing can rekindle your relationship better than the man being away for a day or two (it's a great time to clean the house too)! Just look at how emotional and happy he is when he returns to his stable home. The best thing to do when he gets home is for you and your best friend to perform oral sex on him. Then cook him a nice meal Q: My husband doesn't know where my cl*toris is. A: Your cl*toris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time or ask your best friend to help. You may wish to videotape yourself while doing this, and present it to your husband as a birthday gift. To ease your selfish guilt, perform oral sex on him and cook him a delicious meal. Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay. A: You are a bad person for bringing it up and should seek sensitivity training. Foreplay to a man is very stressful and time consuming. Sex should be available to your husband on demand with no pesky requests for foreplay. What this means is that you do not love your man as much as you should; He should never have to work to get you in the mood. Stop being so selfish! Perhaps you can make it up to him by performing oral sex on him and cooking him a nice meal. Q: My husband always has an orgasm then rolls over and goes to sleep without giving me one. A: I'm not sure I understand the problem. Perhaps you've forgotten to cook him a nice meal.
Jonnyboy Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I want true love for valentines. And for me thats a blowy while i'm taking a dump. Nothing less. Stevo, single thats why you had to change the bed sheets!
Jonnyboy Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 I shall send e-valentines cards to all my facebook girlfriends that are just recently single or have been married for long time; and see what happens. A lot of messages from angry husbands? I shall take mine for a meal I guess. THis bloke at work is so chuffed with himself cos he's booked a night at Premier Inn - I would take the **** but he wouldnt get it.
mcjwills Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 Why do I need to spend bucket loads of money on exorbitantly overpriced roses for an American greeting card day, when I tell my wife I love her every day of the year.
bridge too far Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 Nothing. I adore the current Mrs Trousers 365 days a year, not one day a year when Interflora and Hallmark Cards tell me I should. FFS This. Oh - not that I adore Mrs Trousers!!!!!! Mr TF often buys flowers for me and we love each other all the time, not just on 14 February. Consumer claptrap IMO
Islander Posted 4 February, 2011 Posted 4 February, 2011 It's our anniversary tomorrow and we'll go out for a meal to a reasonably peaceful and normally priced venue. We will enjoy reading the menu for the event in nine days when the place will be packed with people trying to being romantic with 20 or so other couples all paying for an overpriced set menu. We won't be joining them.
ericofarabia Posted 9 February, 2011 Posted 9 February, 2011 (edited) Men make Valentine's Night Special for your Girl ..... Drink plenty of pineapple juice ........ Pineapple, Cranberries and Citrus Fruits Drinking or eating pineapple juice is highly recommended as the finest a way to make your semen sweeter. Citrus fruits and cranberry juice are excellent, as they make the body’s pH more acidic, which helps to negate the alkalinity of semen thereby giving it its salted, bleach taste. Celeray, parsley, and wheatgrass are great for bettering the taste of semen and sperm due to the high chlorophyll they contain. Peppermint, Cinnamon & Cardamon Cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint and lemon are also great foods for better tasting semen. Naturally, your diet shouldn’t be based around simply making your semen and sperm taste and smell better, but some of the tips above you’ll be getting more nourishment and getting less junk. All of the secretions from the body are a mirrored image of our overall diet and the taste and smell of your semen are a mirrored image of this. Semen and sperm taste is efectively a barometer for overall health and balance of foods in the body. * * In cutting and pasting I may have inadvertently omitted the bit about avoiding alcohol, red meat and spicy food making spunk taste bitter !!! Edited 9 February, 2011 by ericofarabia
Draino76 Posted 9 February, 2011 Posted 9 February, 2011 Men make Valentine's Night Special for your Girl ..... Drink plenty of pineapple juice ........ Pineapple, Cranberries and Citrus Fruits Drinking or eating pineapple juice is highly recommended as the finest a way to make your semen sweeter. Citrus fruits and cranberry juice are excellent, as they make the body’s pH more acidic, which helps to negate the alkalinity of semen thereby giving it its salted, bleach taste. Celeray, parsley, and wheatgrass are great for bettering the taste of semen and sperm due to the high chlorophyll they contain. Peppermint, Cinnamon & Cardamon Cinnamon, cardamom, peppermint and lemon are also great foods for better tasting semen. Naturally, your diet shouldn’t be based around simply making your semen and sperm taste and smell better, but some of the tips above you’ll be getting more nourishment and getting less junk. All of the secretions from the body are a mirrored image of our overall diet and the taste and smell of your semen are a mirrored image of this. Semen and sperm taste is efectively a barometer for overall health and balance of foods in the body. * * In cutting and pasting I may have inadvertently omitted the bit about avoiding alcohol, red meat and spicy food making spunk taste bitter !!! Noted.
niceandfriendly Posted 9 February, 2011 Posted 9 February, 2011 Ah, Valentines is coming up? Another reason to be happy that my Mrs broke up with me. I'm happy she did that. No really I am.
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