Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 I would be happy to receive your PM'd regarding trouble with your intimate relationships. Any PM's i receive will be posted back on this thread with a response but with the names changed and dealt with in the strictest confidence, such as this one: I am a 55-year-old single man who has never had a sexual relationship. All my friends think I am married with kids but I never invite them back to my place becasue I still live with my elderly mother who is incontinent. Do I keep up the lie, to my friends, or do I come clean and risk them thinking I am a complete mentalist loser? Jeff, thank you for your PM. May I call you Jeff, or would you prefer I call you Mr Le Taxi? I refuse to answer your PM, because you are not being honest with me. I know it is true what you said about never having had sex, but friends? People on a stupid internet messageboard are not friends. My advice is to start being honest with yourself, before you try and be honest with anyone else. PM me when you have achieved this, then I will help you further. Kind regards, Dr Deppo (not a real Doctor). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 I am getting a lot of PM's but I would prefer it if someone other than Baj would PM me asking to help with his erectile disfunction. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonManager Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 I'm self-employed. What's sex? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Chalet Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 You have a Dune free weekend and this is the best you can do? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 You have a Dune free weekend and this is the best you can do? Deppos upped his game here fyi I'm self-employed. What's sex? +1, I'm self-employed and married, what are these so-called "blowjobs" I keep hearing about? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonManager Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Deppos upped his game here fyi +1, I'm self-employed and married, what are these so-called "blowjobs" I keep hearing about? You have to put a costing in, like any other job! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 My inbox has crashed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 SuperMikey, me and the team are discussing your problem. I promise you, yours will be the very next PM that I respond to on here. I just want to make sure you are given the best possible advice. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Thanks Deppo, I appreciate it. However, the grammatically correct way of phrasing that sentence would be "SuperMikey, the team and I are discussing your problem". I hope my advice is grammatically correct or I shall not be using your service again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Thanks Deppo, I appreciate it. However, the grammatically correct way of phrasing that sentence would be "SuperMikey, the team and I are discussing your problem". I hope my advice is grammatically correct or I shall not be using your service again. Me and the team are discussing you're feedback Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 My inbox has crashed. Must be all those posting on the Gray/Keys thread. I had no idea that so many on here were no lovers of women. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint_Jonny Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Best thread ever Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 I am a 55-year-old single man who sepnds a lot of time away from home. I work in a very confined space I have had a number of same-sex relationships with my fellow seaman (not a pun). Should I go all the way and come 'out' as it were, or should I try and start a hetrosexual relationship once I am back on dry land? Dear ***********, You need to follow your heart. But if it really upsets you to admit who you are, have you considered aversion therapy? I hear it is working well for Durleyfos. Kind regards, Dr Deppo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Must be all those posting on the Gray/Keys thread. I had no idea that so many on here were no lovers of women. I like you Verbal, but that PM you sent me was disgusting. I suggest you visit your local GP. Please do not send me photographs in future or I will report you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 My inbox has crashed. Is this an euphemism? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 No, don't be lewd. My outbox has now crashed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 That was a euphemism. I am suffering from anal trauma. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 I like you Verbal, but that PM you sent me was disgusting. I suggest you visit your local GP. Please do not send me photographs in future or I will report you. Strange that you don't mention the video clips. Like those did you? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Dear *************, Thank you for your harrowing PM. I am shocked and horrified by the traumatic rape that you say that you endured, as described in your PM. I really don't know how you can go on with life after suffering at the hands of a group of 30 male Portsmouth fans. In response to your question: yes, I would absolutely urge you to report it to the authorities RIGHT NOW. And I would add that I am very surprised at your reticence to report it when you are so forthcoming in reporting harmless and fun posts on Saints Web without even a thought. Good luck and my thoughts are with you, Dr Deppo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Strange that you don't mention the video clips. Like those did you? Those I liked. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 I am a 55-year-old single man. I'll bre straight with you. I have a tiny penis. I would look for help close to home but I live in Dubai and it is quite an oppressive place when it comes to my sexual fetishes and so forth. What should I do about my tiny tadge? Dear *****_****, You are beyond help. Kind regards, Deppo (PhD) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Those I liked. I bet you did. When you accidentally forwarded them to me, I should have known from the filename that I mustn't look - 'Dr D's three-way with dune and hypo: how many ways to connect?' I suppose that's what they call 'teaching materials' these days. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Baj Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Even the muppet show doesnt seem appropriate, but its being moved there anyway Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Even the muppet show doesnt seem appropriate, but its being moved there anyway (He does this because it makes him feel like a man again) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 I think i have thrush. Would washing it in vinegar help? It depends. Are you male or female? Regards, Deppo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Good afternoon, I recently injured my right shoulder and elbow, making it painful to fully extend either of them. As I am naturally right-handed, this makes masturbation rather tricky for me, as I am not confident enough to whack the weasel with my left. For the record, I am not attractive or charismatic enough to get a girlfriend and have no money for a prostitute. What should I do please Mr Deppo thank you please? Yours Anonymous (you'll never guess who I am) Dear **********, I suggest you PM the following person: http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/member.php?52-Jillyanne Thanks to her, there is now no longer any such thing as 'too ugly'. Kind regards, Deppo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Sorry, forgot to hide the name. Here it is again, asterixs included. Good afternoon, I recently injured my right shoulder and elbow, making it painful to fully extend either of them. As I am naturally right-handed, this makes masturbation rather tricky for me, as I am not confident enough to whack the weasel with my left. For the record, I am not attractive or charismatic enough to get a girlfriend and have no money for a prostitute. What should I do please Mr Deppo thank you please? Yours Anonymous (you'll never guess who I am) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedAndWhite91 Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Deppo, I find your service highly unprofessional and won't be using it again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 30 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 30 January, 2011 Deppo, I find your service highly unprofessional and won't be using it again. You shipment of arse-plugs have arrived. Shall I send them back then? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RedAndWhite91 Posted 30 January, 2011 Share Posted 30 January, 2011 You shipment of arse-plugs have arrived. Shall I send them back then? Yeah send them back, but keep a couple for yourself as a gesture of good will. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SuperMikey Posted 31 January, 2011 Share Posted 31 January, 2011 Dear **********, I suggest you PM the following person: http://www.saintsweb.co.uk/member.php?52-Jillyanne Thanks to her, there is now no longer any such thing as 'too ugly'. Kind regards, Deppo I PM'd her, apparently 'her' real name is Barry and he just uses this site to pick up single men. I'm meeting up with him on Thursday. Thanks Dr Deppo! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 31 January, 2011 Share Posted 31 January, 2011 By the way, getting a blowie with a small dildo up your bum is nice. Advice? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 1 February, 2011 Share Posted 1 February, 2011 golden thread? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 1 February, 2011 Author Share Posted 1 February, 2011 golden thread? I wouldn't, unless you put lots of newspaper down first. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 1 February, 2011 Share Posted 1 February, 2011 I wouldn't, unless you put lots of newspaper down first. oops! too late. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 1 February, 2011 Share Posted 1 February, 2011 I realise you've not been entirely serious. So I shall amuse myself by calling you Depot from now on. I hope it hurts. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thesaint sfc Posted 1 February, 2011 Share Posted 1 February, 2011 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 1 February, 2011 Author Share Posted 1 February, 2011 Verbal, Boj and thesaint have tried to ruin this excellent thread. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BadgerBadger Posted 4 February, 2011 Share Posted 4 February, 2011 Every time I have a wnak I think of Deppo, this is a statement not a cry for help Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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