dubai_phil Posted 12 October, 2008 Share Posted 12 October, 2008 It occurred to me over the last week that while we have all sat and watched the latest Hollywood epic disaster movie called "The global credit crunch" live on our tv's and internet links the whole "Perfect Storm" theory popped into our heads after about 5 Bullfrogs, 3 JaegerBombs and a couple of Absinthe shooters on Thursday night. Yep, it all comes back to the caveman and his incredibly wealthy family members who are lynchpins of the global economy. The whole sub-prime pieces of paper thingy was all dreamed up by Al Qaeda reps sitting in their luxury condo-caves in Wartheheckisthisstan in northern Pakistan. They set up the whole thing as a classic "bomb the infidels back to the stone age" scheme. I mean, who else benefits from the meltdown (apart from Warren Buffet and some lawyers in the future. That's it, it was all Osama's big plan - economic terrorism. Didn't see that one coming dubbya) Anyway we all laughed and said what a fookin stupid idea. Then we went hmmmmm and had another Bullfrog in case the global supply chain breaks down this week. Then we tried to find out if he fancied buying a football club, 'cos we thought it might cheer us up to send LLS over to do the negotiating. Yeah we need to take more ice with them Bullfrogs Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gully Posted 12 October, 2008 Share Posted 12 October, 2008 Depends if he owns the cave. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 12 October, 2008 Share Posted 12 October, 2008 Come to think of it, when I was working for a broker last year just before this credit crunch malarky kicked off,I did a mortgage application for a Mr O. Bin Laden. I had to inflate his income by over 2 times as it wasnt enough to borrow the money he needed for his mortgage on a semi detached cave. I put the 'extra' money he earned down as him being a self employed childrens entertainer Very difficult to prove that way! So I think you may have something in this Phil! Interestingly enough, he has 3 CCJ's for parking fines he has never paid! But I didnt tell you that, DPA you know! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 12 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 12 October, 2008 Come to think of it, when I was working for a broker last year just before this credit crunch malarky kicked off,I did a mortgage application for a Mr O. Bin Laden. I had to inflate his income by over 2 times as it wasnt enough to borrow the money he needed for his mortgage on a semi detached cave. I put the 'extra' money he earned down as him being a self employed childrens entertainer Very difficult to prove that way! So I think you may have something in this Phil! Interestingly enough, he has 3 CCJ's for parking fines he has never paid! But I didnt tell you that, DPA you know! Interesting.. the pieces come together. Apparently there has been a bit of a BOOM lately in the Northern Pakistan Cave market. I thought it was the Americans with their unmanned drones but maybe it is a flight to safety..... Actually - think there are many Bankers & people who ran AIG who may want to move in to a nice quiet cave alongside him. I'll see if I can set up a real estate agency deal - can you still find mortgage funds? sounds like a dead cert if it goes well we can buy the club!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
INFLUENCED.COM Posted 12 October, 2008 Share Posted 12 October, 2008 Clearly the authorities need to investigate how many of those that have defaulted on loans are muslims, we have had chemical Ali maybe Bin Laden's right hand man is Analyst Ali who said forget planes, bombs, guns just put on a pair of combats, with a tie of course, get down to your local bank/broker take out a mortgage and simply do not pay it, we will bring the west to their knees, suicide bombers, forget it, we need suicide brokers !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 12 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 12 October, 2008 Clearly the authorities need to investigate how many of those that have defaulted on loans are muslims, we have had chemical Ali maybe Bin Laden's right hand man is Analyst Ali who said forget planes, bombs, guns just put on a pair of combats, with a tie of course, get down to your local bank/broker take out a mortgage and simply do not pay it, we will bring the west to their knees, suicide bombers, forget it, we need suicide brokers !! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 12 October, 2008 Share Posted 12 October, 2008 Clearly the authorities need to investigate how many of those that have defaulted on loans are muslims, we have had chemical Ali maybe Bin Laden's right hand man is Analyst Ali who said forget planes, bombs, guns just put on a pair of combats, with a tie of course, get down to your local bank/broker take out a mortgage and simply do not pay it, we will bring the west to their knees, suicide bombers, forget it, we need suicide brokers !! I've just been asked by the FBI for your IP address. Don't worry, I made one up. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rory Posted 12 October, 2008 Share Posted 12 October, 2008 lol at you thinking you've just solved it all. If you'd actually read into it or followed the situation on the news, you couldn't be further from the truth. Unless you're joking, then I lol at your funny! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 13 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 13 October, 2008 lol at you thinking you've just solved it all. If you'd actually read into it or followed the situation on the news, you couldn't be further from the truth. Unless you're joking, then I lol at your funny! :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Master Bates Posted 13 October, 2008 Share Posted 13 October, 2008 The credit crunch is getting bad isn't it? I mean, I let my brother borrow £20 a couple of weeks back, it turns out i'm now Britain's third biggest lender. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 13 October, 2008 Share Posted 13 October, 2008 Interesting.. the pieces come together. Apparently there has been a bit of a BOOM lately in the Northern Pakistan Cave market. I thought it was the Americans with their unmanned drones but maybe it is a flight to safety..... Actually - think there are many Bankers & people who ran AIG who may want to move in to a nice quiet cave alongside him. I'll see if I can set up a real estate agency deal - can you still find mortgage funds? sounds like a dead cert if it goes well we can buy the club!! Yes, yes I can. I think we can make mwillions! There maybe truth in this Dubai consortium buying Saints yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KK the 2nd Posted 13 October, 2008 Share Posted 13 October, 2008 It did strike me, albeit in retrospect, that the most effective way for Osama to bring the western world to its knees would be having your followers apply for sub prime mortgages on mobile home parks across the U.S. and then default, certainly more impact that flying airplanes into buildings. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 13 October, 2008 Share Posted 13 October, 2008 Well that clears up what the A was in NINJA loans. No Income, No Job, Allah! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 13 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 13 October, 2008 Yes, yes I can. I think we can make mwillions! There maybe truth in this Dubai consortium buying Saints yet! Now there's a story that one day will be even funnier than this thread. But not while too many of the "parties" are still alive:-) But FWIW we did ask and I did also ask Tiger Woods' manager last year He's a nice bloke and I see him at the Golf most years - he said that the idea was probably the funniest thing he'd ever been asked. He laughed so much he went straight over and told the man himself who also laughed and came over and bought us a beer (true story photo's and autogrpahs to prove it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Crouchie's Lawyer Posted 13 October, 2008 Share Posted 13 October, 2008 So you didnt manage to pursuade him Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 13 October, 2008 Author Share Posted 13 October, 2008 So you didnt manage to pursuade him what you mean he hasn't signed yet??? doh but Leon promised he'd close the corners so Tiger could build the pitch & putt course Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skintsaint Posted 14 October, 2008 Share Posted 14 October, 2008 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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