chocco boxo Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Has anyone been? Has anyone been in July? Any personal experiences or recomendations appreciated. Thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Any personal experiences or recomendations appreciated. I have a personal experience in the Maldives that I don't mind sharing. I went there on honeymoon with my new wife, Lila. It had been a whirlwind romance and we'd only met months earlier. When we got to the hotel, I was in the bar on my own waiting for my wife and I met this sarcastically witty and gorgeous student named Kelly. Over the next few days I started to realise that my wife was very unsophisticated and emotionally-needy and I started to think about Kelly some more. One day at the beach, Lila refused to use sunscreen and consequently developed a severe sunburn, which quarantined her in our hotel room. I then began a rendezvous with Kelly, lying to my wife as to my whereabouts. Towards the end of the honeymoon I recklessly and impulsively decided to dump Lila, ending my ephemeral marriage, in order to pursue unloving Kelly, my false ideal, and ultimate fantasy shiksa-goddess. (The girl I was waiting for all of my life. I just timed it wrong.) Needless to say, it all went wrong with Kelly and I ended up the man I am today: alone on the sofa, masturbating with Wotsit-covered fingers. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Yes, but was it in July? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 No. Sorry chocco. Ignore all of that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Kelly was always mine. Never aim too high. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonManager Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 They're all the same, no trees and covered in sheep. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Kelly wasn't like that at all. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocco boxo Posted 18 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Should have worded it better! Sorry it did not work out with Kelly! Deppo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Patrick Bateman Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Has anyone been? Has anyone been in July? Any personal experiences or recomendations appreciated. Thanks. July probably wouldn't be the best time to go, it'll probably rain more days than is sunny, if you want to go to the Maldives, go from October to end of April, maybe May. June to September are rubbish in comparison, weather wise. There are many nice islands to choose from, some more busy than others. Last time I went, I stayed at Cocoa Island which had less than 30 "rooms" (they are all Dhonis, over the sea) and it was very very very quiet, bliss: www.cocoaisland.como.bz/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocco boxo Posted 18 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Thanks PB much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 The Maldives is in The Indian Ocean. FACT - I learned this tonight in a quiz at The Cricks and now you have learned this too. I learned it as previously I thought it was in the South Atlantic, I now understand those that argued that it was too far away for us to send our troops not that I agree as apparently there is a corner of a field there that will always be in England. On the plus side we did win two bags of sweets, american hard gums and those liquorice allsorts with the blue and pink bobbly bits on them; mrs h's favourites, I do not eat sweets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thedelldays Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Kelly was clearly a slut.. Guess the type Deppo goes for... And she still blew him out Poor Deppo Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Port Stanley is the best place for penguin watching on the islands, so I'm told. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 Kelly was clearly a slut.. Guess the type Deppo goes for... And she still blew him out Poor Deppo That's a rather hurtful comment to make. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thedelldays Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 That's a rather hurtful comment to make. Not my fault you could not score with the holiday "bike" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
itchenmike Posted 18 January, 2011 Share Posted 18 January, 2011 We've been to two different Maldivian Islands (kuredu and taj coral reef were the two resorts) and on both occasions we were out there at the end of July / beginning of August. Did rain (heavy showers - gone in minutes) and was occasionally windy but temperature constantly 30c and spent most of time snorkelling in bath water temperature sea! Probably not the best time for constant sun, but didn't bother us in any way. Unbelievable holidays on both occasions - would definitely go again! Enjoy! Kuredu website has a pretty good forum which constantly discusses the weather too... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Verbal Posted 19 January, 2011 Share Posted 19 January, 2011 Not my fault you could not score with the holiday "bike" Women must fall at your feet. Dead. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 19 January, 2011 Share Posted 19 January, 2011 Not my fault you could not score with the holiday "bike" That's another cheap shot. Have you ever considered how I might feel about such a hurtful comment? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
warsash saint Posted 19 January, 2011 Share Posted 19 January, 2011 The island of Nakatafusci (North Atoll) was amazing...very small - you could walk around the whole island in 10mins We went in August & had rain every day - heavy showers at end of day.....quite cloudy some days but not enough to spoil a fantastic holiday. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Whitey Grandad Posted 20 January, 2011 Share Posted 20 January, 2011 We've been twice, first to what is now called Diva Resort on Didhoo Finolhu and then to Olhuveli, both were wonderful holidays and both times in February. The islands are just north of the equator so get very hot, but the water is like a warm bath and very clear. Good for relaxing, snorkelling, diving we will definitely be going again but it will spoil you for anywhere else. Look carefully at the travel arrangements, charter flights usually arrive on a Sunday or Monday and there can be several hundred people arriving at the same time. The first time we went Air Lanka, hardly anybody on the plane and only 16 people got off the plane so all went very smoothly. We came back via three nights in Dubai - my wife loved that too. Used Air Lanka next time both ways but coming back we had some pigs in front who reclined their seats into our knees and got very shirty when I started kicking their seat backs. Deeply unpleasant and next time there will be a fight. Have a great time! http://www.olhuvelimaldives.com/ Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 20 January, 2011 Share Posted 20 January, 2011 (edited) Went to Fihalhohi in South Male Atoll for honeymoon last year. In July, for a fortnight. It was awesome. Weather (as it always is) was 28-30 degrees every day and night. There were some clouds on occasion, but as you're sitting on a beach in 30 degrees anyway it doesn't matter - in fact on the 2 occasions it rained, not only can you see the dark clouds coming from about 5 miles away, but you can see the extent of the storm as the rain disturbs the water. You probably won't even bother getting away from the rain, because firstly it's a novelty, and secondly you're dry within about 10 minutes anyway. In addition, there wasn't a single day when it was more cloudy than sunny - and the clouds are mostly independent and very lonely in the sky, there were very few "cloud banks". Definitely get a room with air-con, the people without all bought it at some point so it's a false economy not to. It is a great relief to come back to your freshly cleaned room and cool down a little. The water bungalows looked nice but weren't all that special and you could upgrade for just a night or two if there were any free anyway. Every room was cleaned about 3 times a day, the island could be walked all the way around in 10-15 minutes, food hall was the entirely opposite side of the island to us (buffets for 3 meals a day, plenty of choice) and it took about 5 minutes to get there. There were boat excursions to Male, Maarufushi (larger island for shopping), Dolphin watching (we saw some from the beach anyway), night fishing, sunset fishing and island hopping (with a BBQ on the boat next to a sand bank in the middle of the Indian Ocean). Also there's a water sports centre (windsurfing, jetskis etc) and SCUBA and snorkelling centres on the island for those who want to do that. Have to say I spent half the time on the beach, and half the time drunk or in bed. Flew with Thomson, perfectly ok - then on arrival we had a speedboat transfer from the airport which took about 45 minutes and was plenty interesting enough. It wasn't choppy at all, though I must admit it was when we went sunset fishing, big swell and I chundered - the extra bait didn't help me catch any fish though. All the staff were friendly and helpful the whole time - you get your own waiter for the holiday who brings you drinks etc though you get your own food from the buffet - and I also got to play 3 games of footy (guests against staff in the staff quarters, sand 5-a-side pitch and actual World Cup standard Jabulani ball, mentally enough) which was good for the weight loss, playing 2 hours in 30 degrees on sand ! . Evening entertainment was one of two bars (there's a beach bar restaurant which you can buy food at as well as your all-inclusive meals), and they try to do something different every night, though it's a bit limited. A very low-annoyance Karaoke Evening, showing terrible 1970s-looking Korean and Japanese background video footage, a Bingo night (hilarious, there was a Bingo cake as a prize), plus crab racing (bid to buy a crab to race, watch it run to the outside of the circle quickest to win, realise you bid more than you won anyway...), and the odd movie and tv show on the projection screen. There were two internet PCs for which you can buy an hour at reasonable rates, plus a wifi you can hop onto for a small fee too. That kind of stuff. Definitely a honeymoon / couples kind of thing, very relaxing and not high pressure in any way, though there were a few kids on the island they didn't get in the way. http://www.fihalhohi.net/english/ Holidaymakers are mostly an even split of English and Germans, but your room gets 2 sun loungers and its own towels, plus there's LOADS of room on the beach, only about 180 rooms in total, so no sunbed wars ! All the holiday islands are are split by hoidaymaker nationality, we went to an Italian/Russian island amongst others (including a couple for the locals). Edited 20 January, 2011 by The9 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
knellster Posted 20 January, 2011 Share Posted 20 January, 2011 Went to Vabbinfuru a couple years ago, and the wife is determined we'll go again this year because she fell in love with the place. There were only about 25 villas on the island so it was very quiet, and I could find absolutely nothing to complain about for the two weeks we were there. Spent a few hours every day snorkling which is very rare for me but the sea life is spectacular. Flew via Dubai and it took just over 30 mins by speedboat from the airport. Also managed to take in an Asian Cup 1/4 final in Male ($3 for the best seats!) and there are league matches most days 'cos there's only one stadium with a grass pitch. As others have said it may be better to go a bit later in the year if you can, but it's gonna be great whatever time you go. Enjoy! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 20 January, 2011 Share Posted 20 January, 2011 Went to Fihalhohi in South Male Atoll for honeymoon last year. In July, for a fortnight. It was awesome. Weather (as it always is) was 28-30 degrees every day and night. There were some clouds on occasion, but as you're sitting on a beach in 30 degrees anyway it doesn't matter - in fact on the 2 occasions it rained, not only can you see the dark clouds coming from about 5 miles away, but you can see the extent of the storm as the rain disturbs the water. You probably won't even bother getting away from the rain, because firstly it's a novelty, and secondly you're dry within about 10 minutes anyway. In addition, there wasn't a single day when it was more cloudy than sunny - and the clouds are mostly independent and very lonely in the sky, there were very few "cloud banks". Definitely get a room with air-con, the people without all bought it at some point so it's a false economy not to. It is a great relief to come back to your freshly cleaned room and cool down a little. The water bungalows looked nice but weren't all that special and you could upgrade for just a night or two if there were any free anyway. Every room was cleaned about 3 times a day, the island could be walked all the way around in 10-15 minutes, food hall was the entirely opposite side of the island to us (buffets for 3 meals a day, plenty of choice) and it took about 5 minutes to get there. There were boat excursions to Male, Maarufushi (larger island for shopping), Dolphin watching (we saw some from the beach anyway), night fishing, sunset fishing and island hopping (with a BBQ on the boat next to a sand bank in the middle of the Indian Ocean). Also there's a water sports centre (windsurfing, jetskis etc) and SCUBA and snorkelling centres on the island for those who want to do that. Have to say I spent half the time on the beach, and half the time drunk or in bed. Flew with Thomson, perfectly ok - then on arrival we had a speedboat transfer from the airport which took about 45 minutes and was plenty interesting enough. It wasn't choppy at all, though I must admit it was when we went sunset fishing, big swell and I chundered - the extra bait didn't help me catch any fish though. All the staff were friendly and helpful the whole time - you get your own waiter for the holiday who brings you drinks etc though you get your own food from the buffet - and I also got to play 3 games of footy (guests against staff in the staff quarters, sand 5-a-side pitch and actual World Cup standard Jabulani ball, mentally enough) which was good for the weight loss, playing 2 hours in 30 degrees on sand ! . Evening entertainment was one of two bars (there's a beach bar restaurant which you can buy food at as well as your all-inclusive meals), and they try to do something different every night, though it's a bit limited. A very low-annoyance Karaoke Evening, showing terrible 1970s-looking Korean and Japanese background video footage, a Bingo night (hilarious, there was a Bingo cake as a prize), plus crab racing (bid to buy a crab to race, watch it run to the outside of the circle quickest to win, realise you bid more than you won anyway...), and the odd movie and tv show on the projection screen. There were two internet PCs for which you can buy an hour at reasonable rates, plus a wifi you can hop onto for a small fee too. That kind of stuff. Definitely a honeymoon / couples kind of thing, very relaxing and not high pressure in any way, though there were a few kids on the island they didn't get in the way. http://www.fihalhohi.net/english/ Holidaymakers are mostly an even split of English and Germans, but your room gets 2 sun loungers and its own towels, plus there's LOADS of room on the beach, only about 180 rooms in total, so no sunbed wars ! All the holiday islands are are split by hoidaymaker nationality, we went to an Italian/Russian island amongst others (including a couple for the locals). I feel like I've already been there after reading that, chars Mr 9. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
chocco boxo Posted 20 January, 2011 Author Share Posted 20 January, 2011 Thanks all. Much appreciated. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Durleyfos Posted 21 January, 2011 Share Posted 21 January, 2011 http://www.clubfaru.com/english/ I stayed here over Christmas and new year 4 years ago. Fantastic place. Our room was about 30 paces to the waters edge. I know it's not in July, but it's another place to consider. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ex Ringwood Saint Posted 21 January, 2011 Share Posted 21 January, 2011 Did the Honeymoon 8 years ago, splitting time between Sri Lanka (5 day whirlwind which was absolutely amazing) and the Maldives (10 days doing nothing !!). Went through Kuoni and stayed on Kuramathi, which was about an hour out of Male by boat transfer, although if you wanted you could fly. The island was a self contained resort, as most are, and had everything including dive school and fishing trips etc. We had a great apartment and the food was great too. I would say if you just wanted to relax and maybe have the odd day snorkling or fishing it's a great place to go. If you have time I recomend Sri Lank too while you are there, it is such an amazing green place and if you get up to the mountains is stunning - a real contrast to the islands...Oh, and we went in November so it was cloudy quite a bit but still bloomin warm, and enough sun to get frazzled !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
The9 Posted 21 January, 2011 Share Posted 21 January, 2011 I have a personal experience in the Maldives that I don't mind sharing. I went there on honeymoon with my new wife, Lila. It had been a whirlwind romance and we'd only met months earlier. When we got to the hotel, I was in the bar on my own waiting for my wife and I met this sarcastically witty and gorgeous student named Kelly. Over the next few days I started to realise that my wife was very unsophisticated and emotionally-needy and I started to think about Kelly some more. One day at the beach, Lila refused to use sunscreen and consequently developed a severe sunburn, which quarantined her in our hotel room. I then began a rendezvous with Kelly, lying to my wife as to my whereabouts. Towards the end of the honeymoon I recklessly and impulsively decided to dump Lila, ending my ephemeral marriage, in order to pursue unloving Kelly, my false ideal, and ultimate fantasy shiksa-goddess. (The girl I was waiting for all of my life. I just timed it wrong.) Needless to say, it all went wrong with Kelly and I ended up the man I am today: alone on the sofa, masturbating with Wotsit-covered fingers. ...and stealing the plot of Heartbreak Kid. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now