Uncomfortable player meetings......

[ottery st mary]

Claus's testimonial v Celtic. Was on the beer from about 10am. After the game we went for yet more beer and bumped into the Norwegian fella who played the 2nd half. Got talking and found out that the after match party was at the Holiday Inn opposite the De Vere. With us being smashed out of our brains we thought it was a right good idea to try our luck. Walked down there and into the public bar, said hello to John Viafara, Jason Dodd and saw then saw Claus sat at the bar. Walked over and started oozing out total garbage. Told him he was my hero and what a wonderful night etc etc etc. Finished off by saying how it was funny how the last time we met, he was spilling a pint of Goldshlager (or whatever the f*** it is called) down his shirt in a drunken mess in Jumpin Jacks.

What makes this meeting super uncomfortable, was that once I had finished, he looked at me and said;

 

"That's great mate, now if you can manage to get into the suite through them doors you will be able to tell Claus. But I am Jo Tessam."

 

At that point I decided I had had enough to drink and walked out to find a taxi, looking slot like this;

 

 

Met Claus several times and each time called him Jo and each time he corrected me.

 

Claus thinks I am an idiot.......

 

Personally they were specsaver moments..

[saintscottofthenortham]

Another good one, albeit not one bit uncomfortable, was when I met Benali.

 

My Birthday happened to fall on the same day as his neice's and my Brother was invited to her Birthday Party. It was a Pool party at none other than Franny's house out Chilworth. I had a Footy tourney so me old dear dropped him off and we set off for my Footy. Done sh*t so ended up heading home an hour before we intended so we thought we would go straight to the party as it was on route. Goes on in, the old dear says "funnily enough it's my big lads birthday today as well..." to which Franny's head pops up from behind the BBQ and says "Happy Birthday mate. Burger?" to which I kindly accepted. Made my bloody year that! Haha!

[MarkSFC]

Met a few of the players over the years in different situations but the best two were:

 

1) After the final in Cardiff a few of us ended up in jumping jacks in Cardiff and Claus, Paul Williams and Fernandes walked in. They stayed there for hours buying us a few drinks now and again abd Claus just kept apologising! I spent an hour or so chatting with Paul Williams about the game and football in genereal and the embarrassing thing for me was about two weeks later he came into where I worked to buy something and asked to be served by me as he knew me, but I didnt recognise him until he'd left!

 

2) One night in The Grapes (it used to be my local) about a year ago, I was having a quiet pint after work and Peter Rodrigues came in with his son. I politely aknowledged who he was and said it was a pleasure to meet the captain of our only FA Cup winning side, intending to just leave him to it. However he was happy to talk and the three of us spent the next few hours talking about Saints (Peter more than me!). A very enjoyable and illuminating conversation and for someone who loves Saints more than England it was better than the time I bumped into Gordon Banks (quite literally!!) in Winchester (when the Grobelaar court case was on!!).

[Deppo]

I was in a restuarant in Southampton back in 1995, having a lovely meal with my family as part of my brothers birthday celebrations. Anyway, I went to the toilet and becaise I find it difficult having a wee in front of other men, I went to go into a cubicle. I opened the door nearest to me and was taken aback to see the cubicle was already occupied by someone having a rather smelly poo! Who was the person? None other than Simon Charlton! I wasn't sure whether to ask for his autograph or just shut the door and apologise. In the end he said "Do you want to wipe my arse or something?" and pulled the door shut

[BadgerBadger]

At the DeVere at the end of season bash after the FA Cup final:

 

Talking complete drunken ****** to Neimi in the toilets whilst he looked to exit asap

Oakley - now this is bad, I kissed my fist, banged it against my chest, then punched the air whilst saying 'Love the Saints' like some chav gangster, he looked suitably embaressed for me

Luckly Claus was far more obliging as we were in the same state of being mashed and he just gave me a big hug

[ChrisPY]

Sang happy birthday to Kevin davies when I was about 10. Was at a panini sticker event at st marys when it first opened. Knew kd was going to be there so took the match programme from the weekend that had kd on the centre page with all the facts. Me and my mate noticed it was his birthday the next day so we started joking about singing happy birthday to him. A steward overheard and went and got us a mic. Embarrassment all round.

 

Couple of years after that we went to watch havant and waterlooville vs saints in pre season. Start of the second half claus comes and stands next to us and says 'it's hot isn't it boys'. All we could do was nod.

[Tamesaint]

At Liverpool Uni in the late '70's there was a society formed called the Ashley Grimes society. It was basically a p*** take of a player with a funny name, carp haircut and who ran around a lot on the pitch without a clue as to what he was doing.

 

One evening there was an Ashley Grimes society disco at a local nightclub.Ashley turned up along with a couple of mates - Tommy Sloan who won a few N Irish caps and Kevin Moran who went on to much better things. Ashley wanted to know where the drugs were. He was happy when a friend gave him a chewed up Players No 6. They were all a good laugh but the cocky bast**ds thought that I was funny 'cos I was a Saints fan!!!

 

Steve Coppell also turned up. At the time he was a regular England player. Ashley didn't bring him but when asked how he had got in, he explained that he part owned he nightclub!! One of my housemates got rather drunk and fancied Steve Coppell's company for the night. She was pretty good looking and threw herself at him but Steve was a true gentleman. He politely turned her down but was very concerned that she got home safely.

[John Boy Saint]

My only sticky encounter came not with a player but a past Goal keeping coach, nipped into the local off licence go asked how I thought Saints would do tomorrow at Villa by the Saints supporting owner, I replied "depends how much glue they put on Jonahs gloves" at which point he turns round and say do you know who this is? "nope". It was David Coles then Saints now skate goalie coach. He had a sneer, I stood my ground, told him a couple of Jonahs Faults 2 weeks later he stopped making them. So not that uncomfortable apart from at the beginning.

[bangkoksaint]

I was at Matt Le Tiss's testimonial dinner at St Marys. It was the day of the England Greece qualifier where Beckham dug us out of a hole with a last minute free kick. Me and my mate watched the game in the pub drinking ale and eating nothing. We then went back to our hotel and changed into our suits before heading to the ground. My table was next to Claus, Steve Backley and their respective partners. We then continued to continue our drinking before eating a nice dinner. Anyway by the time Matt came to our table I was steaming. I was overwhelmed to see him and start struck. Just as I reached out to shake his hand I started vomiting and had to reach for a pint glass to catch it all!! I didn't succeed and a lot went down my jacket. Matt was great about it and Steve Backley's missus sprayed me with her perfume coz I stunk so much!! Oh and I saw RL in the toilets and told him what I thought of him!!

[georgeweahscousin]

Brilliant stories fellas!

 

This thread has been much more successful than expected.

[ottery st mary]

A few years ago when one of my boyzz was playing up at AC Delco I met Ron Davies the former right back at the dell.

 

Ron was a staunch AC Delco man ..Originally Cardiff...Merthyr man.

 

One day took a mate up to watch nipper play and introduced him to Ron.. Our former Right Back. RIP Welsh accent and all.

 

(Mate had been to a few games and obviously seen Big Ron Davies our goal scoring hero from North of Wales.) You guessed.. fun time...

 

Anyway my mate began telling Ron about some of the great goals he seen him score for Saints etc Man Utd etc. Not realising he had totally crocked up mixing the two up..

 

Anyway Ron was as good as gold and played along with it....

My mate never lived it down and paid for a few pints after that.

[Thedelldays]

a theme running here..

 

Beattie, although a great striker for us was a complete bunt

 

claus, basically a drunk

 

MLT, got to see alot of people bumbling around him and making tits of themselves

 

Deppo, is a stalker

[georgeweahscousin]

a theme running here..

 

Beattie, although a great striker for us was a complete bunt

 

claus, basically a drunk

 

MLT, got to see alot of people bumbling around him and making tits of themselves

 

Deppo, is a stalker

 

.....also Saints players love a Subway.

[Rory]

Jhon Viafara in Diva after the Derby play-off defeat. He didn't speak a word of English.

 

Geoff Hurst asked me when I was getting my hair cut. Smashing bloke.

[Fitzhugh Fella]

Was in the Cowherds once with Peter Osgood, Gerry O'Brien and Jim Steele when Ossie chatted up a couple of birds and offered to give them a lift home. I was the only one who had a car (Ossie was banned, Gerry and Jim didn't drive) so it was down to me and Ossie. It was actually my Mum's car but I shared it and had it in the evenings. Anyway to cut a long story short I drove these two girls back to where they lived which was somewhere Sholing way and dropped them off. As I reversed out of their drive I hit their next door neighbour's car. I think Ossie was a bit nervous about being there so he just just said "let's scarper" so I drove off. The neighbour went ballistic apparently and the girl only knew Ossie's name and gave it to the police. The police called in at the Dell the next morning and got Ossie out of training but all along he said he had just met me and didn't know my name. That was the end of the matter except the next morning very early I had to take my car down to Merv's Garage near the Fitzhugh to get the lights fixed before my Mum spotted the damage. I remember a few days later in the Ecjo Lawrie Mac going on about hangers on at the club causing trouble with the players and thinking he must mean me.

[Lord Duckhunter]

I was always moaning about Colin Clarke and never rated him.One night me and a few mates were out and he was stood at the bar. One of my mates said something along the lines of "go on then, tell him what you tell us every week". Seeing as I had consumed a few I went over and told him.He was pretty good about it really,just said some comment along the lines of (I was a bit ****ed so cant really recall 100%) "who do you play for, what do you know about the game".I alsogot told to "**** off" by Stewart Ripley after giving him some abuse when he came near my seat at The Dell.

 

The nicest bloke I met was Ken Monkou, who introduced me and my Mrs to his mum, when we saw him out.

 

Away from football we bumped into Jim Bowan once in the 100 club at a jazz night, he got up and did a couple of numbers with the band.My mate said "that was super smashing lovely singing Jim", to which Bowan turned and said "**** off you ****".

[eurosaint]

I met Kevin Davies and Brett Ormerod in the player's lounge at Stamford Bridge after a game a few years ago (connections!)!

They were both good lads and very chatty, I discussed the state of the pitch with Brett (it was muddy as hell that day!) and then turned to Kev and asked him how he felt he had coped with it ? Very politely, he advised me that, as he never got off the subs bench he hadn't a clue !

Must have thought I was a total prat (or taking the p*ss) as I had just watched the whole match minutes before!

[Trader]

Met a few of the players over the years in different situations but the best two were:

 

1) After the final in Cardiff a few of us ended up in jumping jacks in Cardiff and Claus, Paul Williams and Fernandes walked in. They stayed there for hours buying us a few drinks now and again abd Claus just kept apologising! I spent an hour or so chatting with Paul Williams about the game and football in genereal and the embarrassing thing for me was about two weeks later he came into where I worked to buy something and asked to be served by me as he knew me, but I didnt recognise him until he'd left!

 

2) One night in The Grapes (it used to be my local) about a year ago, I was having a quiet pint after work and Peter Rodrigues came in with his son. I politely aknowledged who he was and said it was a pleasure to meet the captain of our only FA Cup winning side, intending to just leave him to it. However he was happy to talk and the three of us spent the next few hours talking about Saints (Peter more than me!). A very enjoyable and illuminating conversation and for someone who loves Saints more than England it was better than the time I bumped into Gordon Banks (quite literally!!) in Winchester (when the Grobelaar court case was on!!).

 

Did you sneak up on his blind side?"

[St.Thomas7]

I've had a few quite uncomfortable meetings... the ones that stick out...

 

Both of these come from working at Southampton Airport back in the day...

 

1) Was in the toilets going to **** when I became quite aware someone was having a very loud painful sh*t in one of the cubicles, now this guy wasn't holding back, these were proper feral animal noises with accompanying audible bowel movement... I tried to get out quickly but as i was washing my hands the cubicle opened and out stepped Paul Jones. He looked at me, smiled, patted his belly and walked out. Didn't even wash his hands the dirty fecker...

 

2)I think Saints were flying out to Newcastle and the flight was delayed, the bloody despatch agent made me hand out £1.50 vouchers to each player... bloody embarrassing... to their credit Anders, Jo and Claus sat and chatted to me for quite a while, not sure they ever used those vouchers...

 

As a side note, I used to see quite a lot of Beats when he was here, he gets a lot of stick but he was always ok by me. Used to talk quite a lot, did love the club and the area, plus used to throw comps my way every now and then. That said, i was there when he got banned from Leisure World for jumping on a car bonnet over and over...

[Give it to Ron]

Was at a 6 a side footie tournament at AC Delco and was chatting to Brett Ormerod who was supposed to be watching

the kids he was with. All of a sudden there was a loud wailing and one of them had fallen off a swing and had a massive nose bleed.

I ran and got our teams first aid kit and washed away all the blood and made the nose bleed stop.

Top bloke Brett.

[SAFE_SAINT]

Has anyone else been bought a lapdance by a footballer?

Not Saints- but met Marc Wilson the night after 'they' beat us 1-4 at SMS in the cup last season in a certain adult entertainment venue in Bournemouth- spoke about how lucky they were to win and 4-1 flattered them- he agreed- seemed quite a nice bloke but honestly thick as they come! He was limping around as said "his mate" Morgan left one on him! Anyway- after he couldn't get rid of me- he paid a member of staff £20 to get rid of me. After, she said are you going to pay for your own dance now? I said "no"

[Dibden Purlieu Saint]

why couldn't you work out if it was them? What are you implying about black people? Judging by your previous commets about racism at SMS maybe this is actually a reflection on your views.

 

They were at the other end of the shop, and I didn't have my glasses on. Fairly legitimate.

 

I don't know what you are implying here though, perhaps you'd like to enlighten me. I don't get how you people think.

[swannymere]

Never had a problem with Beats myself, met him a couple of times and he was always a nice bloke; all my mates have said the same on the occasions they met him. Kevin Davies's career went down the ****ter after a drunk female friend of mine accosted him in a bar near The Walkabout during the Japan/Korea World Cup, she grabbed his face and stuck her tongue down his throat; he was always **** for us afterwards. Oh, and the time Danny Higginbotham nicked a postmans bike to get home with his missus in the 'basket' always brings a wry smile.

[Redondo Saint]

In the Cricketers off Bedford Place. Saw Terry Paine who was drinking with a friend and started chatting about the good old days as kids playing footie in Winchester.

He had no idea who I was.

 

Who are you?

[Golden Balls]

Saw James Beattie in the toilets at Odean before he was 'big'. I ignored the male unwritten rule of leaving at least one urinal space between eachother and went for a **** next to him. He looked at me, I said "alright?" he said "I will be" and walked off. Had a good laugh about it outside the toilets and seemed a nice guy.

 

Met him again a few years later when he was scoring every week and he could not have been more up his own arse.

 

Met David Prutton in JD. He was a quality bloke and chatted to me and my mate for a while. Even to the point that I had nothing left to say and he was trying to continue chatting. That got awkward.

[ChrisPY]

Saints v Eastleigh game. Asked David Prutton when he was going to be back fully fit. 'Didn't I look fully fit out there?' he says in an undermining tone.... never played for us again.

[Windmill Arm 2]

I once screamed out really loudly whilst on the lash in Gosport " GRA-HAM RIX, WHEN THE GIRL SAYS NO MOLEEEEEEST HER" ............you can guess who was stood behind me.

[SO16_Saint]

I was in the Grovesnor casino a few years back, and stood at the bat with my brother. We were eating some bar snacks chatting.

 

As it turns out, they weren't bar snacks at all, but Jimmy Cases bowl of chips!

[Turkish]

They were at the other end of the shop, and I didn't have my glasses on. Fairly legitimate.

 

I don't know what you are implying here though, perhaps you'd like to enlighten me. I don't get how you people think.

 

I wonder if you'd have had the same problem recognising them if they were white players.

[EastleighSoulBoy]

Stern John and David McGoldrick in Repertoire. Couldn't work out if it was them, so just stared. They stared back. Was just awkward.

 

why couldn't you work out if it was them? What are you implying about black people? Judging by your previous commets about racism at SMS maybe this is actually a reflection on your views.

 

They were at the other end of the shop, and I didn't have my glasses on. Fairly legitimate.

 

I don't know what you are implying here though, perhaps you'd like to enlighten me. I don't get how you people think.

 

I wonder if you'd have had the same problem recognising them if they were white players.

 

Where has DPSaint mentioned their colour? What has their colour to do with the subject?

 

Some latent racist tendencies here?

 

And I don't mean DPSaint!

[Baj]

Turkish, grow up.

[Deppo]

I once screamed out really loudly whilst on the lash in Gosport " GRA-HAM RIX, WHEN THE GIRL SAYS NO MOLEEEEEEST HER" ............you can guess who was stood behind me.

 

Was it James Beatiie?

[The Majestic Channon]

I once screamed out really loudly whilst on the lash in Gosport " GRA-HAM RIX, WHEN THE GIRL SAYS NO MOLEEEEEEST HER" ............you can guess who was stood behind me.

 

Pope gregory the ninth?

[hypochondriac]

Turkish, grow up.

 

TBF the original comment was so idiotic that it is almost silly not to harp back to it.

[supergoose]

I got chatting to Chris Marsden FG a few years back. Seemed a really great guy but, amazingly, he seemed to know chuff all about Saints. Later turned out I'd been talking to Gail Porter........... I feel very uncomfortable about this even now.

[SNSUN]

Guly this season in the Total garage just outside Southampton. It took me an age to recognise him, despite just watching him score a header just a half hour before. In the end after looking like a stalker, I stuck him a thumbs up and got one back. I very nearly didn't do anything, which would've made him feel damn unappreciated as I was wearing full Saints kit.

[georgeweahscousin]

I once screamed out really loudly whilst on the lash in Gosport " GRA-HAM RIX, WHEN THE GIRL SAYS NO MOLEEEEEEST HER" ............you can guess who was stood behind me.

 

The Artful Dodger?

[Legod Third Coming]

I was in Manchester after going to watch an away game in 1989 and planned to stay over in a cheap hotel. I was a bit bored at night so decided to take a look about. I wandered around and stumbled across Picadilly Station. Now, for those of you who aren't sure, Picadilly is one of the places where the prostitutes hang about. I wasn't really interested in hiring a whore, but out of curosity, I asked one or two how much they charged. They were a little pricey (given what they looked like!) and I asked one of them for where the cheaper girls hung out. I was directed down a few side streets and was told the cheap girls were to be found there, but to be careful because they were a little off the wall, often ****ed on drugs and whatnot. Anyway, I thought I'd have a look, purely out of interest, and as I walked down towards the cheap girls I was amzed when I passed a familiar face walking away from the cheap area with three hideous girls on his arm. It was none other than Barry Horne! As we walked past each other I said "Evening Barry. I see youve got the horn!" and he laughed and I laughed, but then his laughter stopped and he grabbed me by the arm and said "never mention this to anyone". It was rather uncomfortable.

 

Nice to know we can all trust you in confidence

[Wade Garrett]

I used to sell mobile phones by the bucketload to Kevin Phillips missus.

[Legod Third Coming]

I used to sell mobile phones by the bucketload to Kevin Phillips missus.

 

I was paying for a lot of them....

[Deppo]

Turkish, grow up.

 

To be fair to Turkish, he's making a very good point.

[Wade Garrett]

What about footballers getting decked. I know it happened in town to both Terry Hurlock and John Gittens.

 

Comical. I was there when Gittens went down. He was giving it the very big large one, trying to make a mate of mine look little in front of some young ladies. Gittens then threatened him with real physical violence. What ensued afterwards was hilarious. One punch and Gittens went down like a sack of spuds.

[Deppo]

I remember when I worked for Burger King, and we were closing up one night. It was 2 minutes before closing time and we'd just cooked a three Whoppers and had some fries and 4 boxes of Diddy Donuts left, when a fella walked in on his own. I saw him walking from the front door to the till, when I noticed another guy coming in on his own from the door at the back. The guy coming from the back had a gammy eye. The guy coming from the front was none other than Matthew Le Tissier. They both reached the counter at the same time and, as if in stereo, both said, "What have you got left? I'll take it all."

 

I looked at them. They looked at each other.

 

Then, again in stereo, the both said, "I was here first."

 

I didn't know what to do.

 

I thought for a bit and then said to the gammy-eyed tubby fella, "Do you know who this is? It's Matt Le Tissier."

 

The gammy-eyed fella said, "Yes, I know. He is my absolute hero. I'd do anything for him. Except give up my food. I want it all. Everything you have. I was here first. I served for my country, you know. And I have a Nissan Frontera. And a speedboat."

 

Matt replied, "I served for my country too. On the pitch. And I have two Nissan Fronteras. And a yacht. And a Super Nintendo."

 

I didn't know what to do. I was stuck. Then, I remembered a story from the bible. The one about Moses and King Solomon.

 

"Okay, gentlemen," I said, "here's what I'm prepared to do. You were both here at the same time, so I'll chop each of the pieces of food in half. All of the chips, all of the Whoppers... all of the Diddy Donuts."

 

"NOOOOOOOOOOOO!" screamed the gammy-eyed fella. "You can't do that to the food! The beautiful food! Half of it will never fill me up! F*ck it, let Matt have it. I was only stopping off for a snack on my way to Spud-u-Like anyway."

 

"Nom nom nom," said Matt, tucking into his food five minutes later, "nom nom nom."

[Deppo]

I was in town a few weeks ago and a current Saints player put a bottle in my face. It was uncomfortable, but we both saw the funny side, LOL!

[Turkish]

Where has DPSaint mentioned their colour? What has their colour to do with the subject?

 

Some latent racist tendencies here?

 

And I don't mean DPSaint!

 

On another thread ESB, keep up.

[swannymere]

I was in town a few weeks ago and a current Saints player put a bottle in my face. It was uncomfortable, but we both saw the funny side, LOL!

 

You were out of order though.

[Golden Balls]

I once screamed out really loudly whilst on the lash in Gosport " GRA-HAM RIX, WHEN THE GIRL SAYS NO MOLEEEEEEST HER" ............you can guess who was stood behind me.

 

Maddie?

[EastleighSoulBoy]

On another thread ESB, keep up.

 

TBH I don't frequent this place much, due to racism and other crap. So I'm seldom able to keep up!

 

I apologise for not knowing about another thread. I just thought you were trying to cause an argument which, at face value here, didn't seem to exist.

 

My apologies, also, for having a go about it with you.

[Colinjb]

It was the Black away kit launch in West Quay shopping centre back in June 2001.

 

Was queuing at the Saints shop in the same shopping centre to buy it with my friend Ro'. All of a sudden, just as we were getting to the front of the shop a blonde woman and her two children push in front of us.

 

Ro' was utterly incredulous and started mouthing off, the woman went quite sheepish, repeating statements such as 'it's ok... really.... we won't be long...' yet that did little to placate her.

 

It was just as she went purple Francis Benali appeared. That was his wife and brood just sneaking in to collect their wears. A few handshakes were exchanged, they cleared off and poor Ro' felt a bit of a ****.

[Hatch]

Just remembered I met Brett Ormerod in a strip club in Magaluf.

I can't make further comment on a public forum, so make your own stories up, they will probably be close to the truth anyway. ;-)