Uncomfortable player meetings......

[georgeweahscousin]

I have had two of these in my time. Here they are:-

 

1. Neil Heaney.

 

Me and a few mates walking up Milton Road to a game at the Dell, circa 1994, all slagging Heaney off, hoping he wasn't going to play, I was being particularly vocal about his ability to run the ball into touch. I turned round, for whatever reason and there walking right behind us was Heaney and Richard Hall. Heaney looked very sheepish but said "Alright lads" we all said "Alright", my mate got his autograph. I swear Richard Hall was smirking. I remember being surprised to find Heaney had a Northern accent......

 

2. Agustin Delgado.

 

Out for a mates birthday, had a few drinks and ended up in "For Your Eyes Only". Literally about 5 minutes after we got in and sat at a table, in walks the Ecuadorian sicknote, in full on Scarface style white suit, all alone armed with only a wedge of cash. So much for getting my mate a birthday dance, as all the girls only had eyes for the Tinman. We got his autograph surrounded by bare breasts and headed off..........

 

Anyone else had any?

[Hopkins]

In a toilet with Nathan Dyer.

In a pub with Andrew Davies and Adam Hammill. Hammill was taking the **** out of Davies by singing "theres only 1 Andrew Davies" but quietly because that's what he said the fans were singing at the game the day before, so me and my mate started belting it out and the top of our voices. Started off slightly awkward, ended with me telling him Euell was **** and Hammill agreeing.

[wild-saint]

Dennis Wise - I was in a restaurant in Fulham a few years back on a table of a round 18 people (mostly saints fans). dennis and his current squeeze finished eating and was on his way out. as he walk passed our table i put out my hand and called out wisey. as he put his hand out i put my thumbr to my nose and shouted "ahhhhhhhhhhhh southampton reject." the whole table pi ssed themselves laughing at wisey.

 

Oh my work after a number of expletives aimed i my direction i was invited to step outside to discuss further which was greeted with more laughter at our friend dennis. He left the restaurant in a hell of a mood. it still makes our group of lads smile even now.

[Saint_clark]

"Headed off"? Saw who could crack one out the fastest?

[georgeweahscousin]

"Headed off"? Saw who could crack one out the fastest?

 

I won. Delgado injured his wrist early doors.

[Big_Bald_Si]

Matt Le Tissier. Where I sit in the Kingsland stand, we're right near the stairs where commentators/pundits need to come up to get to the gantry.

 

Can't remember the exact game, but Le Tiss was there. He walked around the pitch to a rapture of applause, and finally made it up the stairs. I thought to myself "right, i'm going to pat him on the back, along with everyone else".

 

So, i reached out, couldn't quite reach him, he was getting away, so i stretched my arm out as far as i could, and i accidentally fish-hooked him. No joke! I certainly got his attention, we stared blankly at each other, I apologised, he laughed, shook my hand, and commentated on the game.

 

True legend - and a truly nice bloke.

[JRM]

Not so much uncomfortable, but on the pre-season tour of Norway 2007 ended up in a bar in Halden after the match, small town with not a lot going on, drinking away and in come the whole team, lead by Burley, clearly intent on getting smashed. Kareoke in the bar early on and having had a few beers some of us had a go, later in the evening there was a small dancefloor, re-call being on there trying to crack on to a Norweigan bird only to turn round to find a legless Burley trying his best to dance with a blonde next to her.

Think Lallana was throwing up in the toilets as well.

 

im sure plenty of you lot must have bumped into players out in town over the years.

[benjii]

Found Jermaine Wright, Cedric Basseya and Wayne Thomas huddled in a doorway having a smoke once.

[InvictaSaint]

Terry Hurlock and Perry Groves in the Bedford Arms circa 1992/3. Finally plucked up the courage, after a few pints, to go over to them to say hello and ask for an autograph, only to be told by big bad Terry to "f**k off".

[benjii]

Chris Marsden in the Rhino. Obviously didn't want any attention.

 

On the subject of bald lefties, Matty Robinson in Kelly's was the complete opposite. He was so happy my mate and I recognised him and shook his hand. We were obviously taking the **** but he didn't realise. Ahh, sweet.

[CitySaint]

On Tuesday night bumped into Tommy Forecast (not a real player, I know). Was a bit worse for wear, so decided to sing, 'Southampton's Number 3 to him' and 'Development Squad's Number 1' to him, before quizzing him about his 5 year contract and various other bullsh1t. Don't think he was that ecstatic, but he was drunk too and had lots of burds with him, this was outside 90 degrees and he soon jumped into a taxi.

[31GARRY]

Lawrie Mac, I was at a sky sports do years ago and Lawrie was a guest speaker. Said to him there was a great 16 year old prospect at Exeter fc. He asked me what my job was so I told him I was a postie, he replied "you stick to putting bits of paper through doors and I stick to football" or something like that. It was the only time I never heard him mention " his 1976 cup winning team"

[jampot]

This was not uncomfortable. Went to see Coldplay at Crystal Palace athletics ground a few years back. Awful veune for a gig. As we qued to leave, I found myself next to David Prutton. I made it known I knew who he was quietly and chatted about the gig for a bit, thanked him for his post game fan appreciation clapping he used to do. Top guy and more than happy to talk for the duration of the time it took to get out....

[bowers-sfc]

Stabbing puncheon with a pen... Looked like he was gona kill me

 

Has been **** since

[supersonic]

I once saw Anthony Pulis on the pitch in a Saints shirt...god that was uncomfortable!

[benjii]

This was not uncomfortable. Went to see Coldplay at Crystal Palace athletics ground a few years back. Awful veune for a gig. As we qued to leave, I found myself next to David Prutton. I made it known I knew who he was quietly and chatted about the gig for a bit, thanked him for his post game fan appreciation clapping he used to do. Top guy and more than happy to talk for the duration of the time it took to get out....

 

I met him once too. I was battered and no doubt talking complete ****e but he did seem like a very nice and humble fella.

[Thedelldays]

true story..

 

me and a few mates were not allowed in Simons Wine bar a few years ago....it was a "saints players night"

as we got turned away and for no apparent reason..james beattie said something like "run along normal people"

 

to that, one of my mates said....."who the **** do you think you are"

BT replied ......"the one man that keeps you up mate and the best player in your team"

the response from us was..... "you cant be that good as you dont play for england..even emile heskey plays for england"

 

he did not say much after

Edited 30 December, 2010 by Thedelldays

[wadesmith]

I was loudly slagging off Jason Dodd in Subway on London Road, when guess who came in ....Jason Dodd. He looked a bit sheepish and asked for am Italian Meatball BLT.

[benjii]

I was loudly slagging off Jason Dodd in Subway on London Road, when guess who came in ....Jason Dodd. He looked a bit sheepish and asked for am Italian Meatball BLT.

 

Why were you slagging Jason Dodd off? Would've got some England caps if he had a better hair cut.

[Thedelldays]

Why were you slagging Jason Dodd off? Would've got some England caps if he had a better hair cut.

 

and a better accent

[Chorlton]

I saw James Beatie in london Rd Subway and his mate that was with him was stroking his stubble an awful lot in the queue. Very sycophantic.

[Paul Chuckle]

Remember chatting to Anders Svennson in Jumpin Jacks the day we beat Leicester 4-0 away. I was speaking to him for ages and he was a really nice guy, was saying he was gutted Stuart Gray was sacked as he really liked him. Just as I was going off to find my mates a drunk Claus Lundekvam appeared on a blokes back with fag in hand saying he wanted to chat about Swedish Porn & not football lol

[simo]

It was at eastleigh pre season a few years ago and I was politely pointing out to Kelvin a few flaws in his game from the previous season when he took offence and a few mins later a "stray" ball came flying in my direction followed by a wink from Kelvin ha ha hasn't let us down much since may I add!

[wadesmith]

Why were you slagging Jason Dodd off? Would've got some England caps if he had a better hair cut.

 

Just felt like it.

[Dibden Purlieu Saint]

Stern John and David McGoldrick in Repertoire. Couldn't work out if it was them, so just stared. They stared back. Was just awkward.

[Katalinic]

and a better accent

 

I am sure it was Jason Dodd who told us to be careful of the slippery walkways over the tannoy at the Hudersfield game.

[Matthew Le Tissier]

My mate fitted David beckhams kitchen and got busted by Becks having his photo taken whilst sniffing poshes cacks in the laundry room! He was ok with it And said they smell nice don't they mate.

[Deppo]

This was not uncomfortable. Went to see Coldplay at Crystal Palace athletics ground a few years back. Awful veune for a gig. As we qued to leave, I found myself next to David Prutton. I made it known I knew who he was quietly and chatted about the gig for a bit, thanked him for his post game fan appreciation clapping he used to do. Top guy and more than happy to talk for the duration of the time it took to get out....

 

 

Surely the bit about going to see Coldplay is the "uncomfortable" element of the story?

[Kaiser Soze]

Not so much uncomfortable, but on the pre-season tour of Norway 2007 ended up in a bar in Halden after the match, small town with not a lot going on, drinking away and in come the whole team, lead by Burley, clearly intent on getting smashed. Kareoke in the bar early on and having had a few beers some of us had a go, later in the evening there was a small dancefloor, re-call being on there trying to crack on to a Norweigan bird only to turn round to find a legless Burley trying his best to dance with a blonde next to her.

Think Lallana was throwing up in the toilets as well.

 

im sure plenty of you lot must have bumped into players out in town over the years.

 

Good thread. Regarding the above, will never forget Lallana puking into a plant pot outside that bar and asking me for water.

 

Will also never forget the looks on Wright-Phillips and Surman's faces as me and our mutual friend were bundled in an old bill wagon! Priceless.

[JRM]

Good thread. Regarding the above, will never forget Lallana puking into a plant pot outside that bar and asking me for water.

 

Will also never forget the looks on Wright-Phillips and Surman's faces as me and our mutual friend were bundled in an old bill wagon! Priceless.

 

Ha yeah and Jason dodd going over to the 2 lads (tm and tb) saying think you lads better get outside its kicking off !!

Your Herman heridersen casino story surely counts as an awkward moment!

[The Majestic Channon]

Neil heaney, richard hall,jason dodd, nicky banger and his then oldham team mate darren beckford were all in the bedford after saints v leicester 94 ish. Heaney was a grumpy *****, richard hall was nice enough albiet cocky but beckford and dodd were great, beckford bought me and my mates probably 3 pints each and doddy laughed off me pouring a whole pint down his back as i stood plastered behind him. Met flash and franny at an ´ugly do´ in the maple leaf too, both happy to stay til the end chatting at the bar.

[Kaiser Soze]

Ha yeah and Jason dodd going over to the 2 lads (tm and tb) saying think you lads better get outside its kicking off !!

Your Herman heridersen casino story surely counts as an awkward moment!

 

Picture the scene at the blackjack table, all fairly civilised apart from a p1ssed Heriddison singing David Bowie songs and waving wads of £50 notes...I go over there to have a quiet word

HH - "you play in that box"

Me "I'll play where I f//king like you f//king skate c//t"

 

Result = HH screaming and grabbing me by the throat, table of drinks flying everywhere and me ending up on the deck - in my defence the pr1ck is massive and he had two units with him who were both swinging bottles around.

[Simples]

I was at a work do at St Marys a few years back. Booze all paid for, talking quite loud etc etc. I was at the game before this one and was talking (shouting) to a colleague over the table that we played well as a team, but Euell was really ****e. My colleague asked me (smiling) if I would say this to his face. I said' of course'. Good say's my colleague, he's behind you listening. F Off says I, your taking the ****.

 

I turn around. Turn back to the table. Excuse myself from the table, and walk off, rather quietly.

[Deppo]

Picture the scene at the blackjack table, all fairly civilised apart from a p1ssed Heriddison singing David Bowie songs and waving wads of £50 notes...I go over there to have a quiet word

HH - "you play in that box"

Me "I'll play where I f//king like you f//king skate c//t"

 

Result = HH screaming and grabbing me by the throat, table of drinks flying everywhere and me ending up on the deck - in my defence the pr1ck is massive and he had two units with him who were both swinging bottles around.

 

This is priceless! Brilliant story Kaiser! I bet no-one can top this one.

[Thedelldays]

This is priceless! Brilliant story Kaiser! I bet no-one can top this one.

 

what about the time you fornicated with Graeme Le Saux..?

[Deppo]

This is priceless! Brilliant story Kaiser! I bet no-one can top this one.

 

what about the time you fornicated with Graeme Le Saux..?

 

I have been proven wrong! well done delldays!

[St Chalet]

I was a few rounds of Champagne down in a bar in Manchester one Saturday night, someone barged passed me, I spun round to have a go at the fella and to my surprise I stammered the immortal words, "Your David Beckham", he replied "Yes" and walked off.

 

Cannot believe I got intellectually done over by Beckham.

[so22saint]

I was a few rounds of Champagne down in a bar in Manchester one Saturday night, someone barged passed me, I spun round to have a go at the fella and to my surprise I stammered the immortal words, "Your David Beckham", he replied "Yes" and walked off.

 

Cannot believe I got intellectually done over by Beckham.

 

heh, I lived in Manchester for a year in the 90s and had Teddy Sheringham open a toilet door in a panic as I was obviously about to puke - fair play to him he checked I was ok. Also saw Ryan Giggs and that Jenny girl from "No Limits" in a ****ty nightclub near the airport on a Thursday night.

 

Best Saints story for me is when we partied the night away with the team in New York New York after our 6-3 against the Mancs in '96. Got in as I sold my shirt to Claus in the queue so his mate could get in (he didn't have a collar - what sort of day was it when a Southampton bouncer would turn away a Saints player after beating the then Champions 6-3 - ****). Anyway, bought another shirt, got in and got very very very drunk. Only awkward moments were telling Jim Magilton to leave it out with my sister (again) and talking to Tore Andre Flo's sister (tho she was introduced as Jostein Flo's sister) who was at the Institute and my mate turning to my now wife and saying "****ing fair play to him, he never chats up birds that good looking".

 

Good days

[Turkish]

Stern John and David McGoldrick in Repertoire. Couldn't work out if it was them, so just stared. They stared back. Was just awkward.

 

why couldn't you work out if it was them? What are you implying about black people? Judging by your previous commets about racism at SMS maybe this is actually a reflection on your views.

Edited 30 December, 2010 by Turkish

[Turkish]

had a few. Used to reguarly bump into Beattie, Bridge, Kevin Davies and Gary Monk in the Rhino and speak to them. A mate of mine once offered Hassan Kachloul a line in the toliets at what used to be Cenos, i am please to say Hassan politely declined.

 

I also lived in Harrogate for a while when i first met my woman and used to regularly see the Leeds United players of that time around 97/98 season, both out and about and i also did a couple of nights a week in a bar in the town centre which a lot of them used. Lee Sharpe in particular was a top bloke and alwasy used to have a chat, also had a £50 bet with him that Saints would finish above Leeds that season, i lost the bet but he never got his money.

 

Also when i was a kid playing Eastleigh Minors League Saturday morning football at Fleming Park the whole Man Utd team watched our game. They were staying in the Crest Hotel and gradually noticed all these fellas in tracksuits started watching. It wasn't until half time that we realised who it was was, but Danny Wallace, Brain McClair, Bryan Robson, Neil Webb etc were all there, cant remember what year it was about 90/91??

Edited 30 December, 2010 by Turkish

[Junction 9]

I was in Manchester after going to watch an away game in 1989 and planned to stay over in a cheap hotel. I was a bit bored at night so decided to take a look about. I wandered around and stumbled across Picadilly Station. Now, for those of you who aren't sure, Picadilly is one of the places where the prostitutes hang about. I wasn't really interested in hiring a whore, but out of curosity, I asked one or two how much they charged. They were a little pricey (given what they looked like!) and I asked one of them for where the cheaper girls hung out. I was directed down a few side streets and was told the cheap girls were to be found there, but to be careful because they were a little off the wall, often ****ed on drugs and whatnot. Anyway, I thought I'd have a look, purely out of interest, and as I walked down towards the cheap girls I was amzed when I passed a familiar face walking away from the cheap area with three hideous girls on his arm. It was none other than Barry Horne! As we walked past each other I said "Evening Barry. I see youve got the horn!" and he laughed and I laughed, but then his laughter stopped and he grabbed me by the arm and said "never mention this to anyone". It was rather uncomfortable.

[Smirking_Saint]

Used to have a kick around downstairs in Flemming Park when i was at Barton Peveril between lessons every now and again, Jo Tessem walked in once, on his own out of the blue and had a kick around and chatted to him for about half a hour or so, he was a top bloke.

 

My main hatred of B.T appeared one night in Jumpin' Jacks, he always seemed a big headed sort but one evening around the time of the cup final we were in having a drink and Bridge walked over and asked if he could scab a fag of a mate, we had a chat with him for 5 minutes and were having a good laugh when Beats walked over and nicely said 'What are you talking to these c*nts for' and dragged him away, Bridge said 'sorry lads, and thanks' and wandered off.

 

Was at a night round a mates apartment it ocean village once, all having a drink up, didn't know the lad that owned the flat i just turned up with a mate of a mate, low and behold Ludekvam walked into the living room with just a towel round his waist ****ed up. Was pretty funny looking back.

 

The most embarassing was one night walking out of Icon p*ssed up i walked passed Paul Smith, i walked up shook his hand and told him how he was brilliant and played really well today. He laughed at me, humoured me and i walked off. I only realised what an idiot i was when my mate told me what the score was, we had just lost 5-0 to Man Utd.

[eelpie]

In the Cricketers off Bedford Place. Saw Terry Paine who was drinking with a friend and started chatting about the good old days as kids playing footie in Winchester.

He had no idea who I was.

[Thedelldays]

A good mate of mine used to work the doors in leisure world.....he used to get great pleasure of throwing BT and Oakley out the minute they were wasted..

one time he threw BT out whilst he still had to trousers undone (which fell down) from having a pish....

[Hatch]

Stark Bollock naked on the floor humping some hairdresser from Lyme Regis at a house party when in walks an ex-centre forward of ours who went on to bigger and better things.

The girl was annoyed that I rolled off her to go and chat to this certain player.

[latter day saint]

was in Debenhams shopping with my mum & then 6yr old sis when i notice Letiss walking across the shopfloor.as soon as i point him out my sister goes running over & launches herself at him,nearly rugby tackling him to the floor. over i trot, red faced apoligising as i peel her away from Matty, who although laughing, seemed as embarrassed as i was.

cant remember which game it was but had just walked past Ted when i noticed Paul Walsh walking round the corner. wait until he gets closer to shout " you skate bastard" at him & then trip over, much to his great amusement.

[Draino76]

Seen MLT a few times. Usually on the Fast Cat to the IOW. I remember shouting "Hey Matteh!" with him then shaking my hand then chatting like we were old mates. All very comfortable. The next day I question if it really happened that way. It was a very drug fuelled existence at the time.

[Genk]

Rickie Lambert pounding on the Subway door on a Tuesday night in Southampton shouting to let him in, absolutely hammered with Kelvin Davis. He never got his Subway that night, was funny though.

[CWD]

i followed Lee Barnard round Westquay for 20 minutes last week. I was too pussy to say hi but I do know what he got his spouse for christmas

[saintscottofthenortham]

Claus's testimonial v Celtic. Was on the beer from about 10am. After the game we went for yet more beer and bumped into the Norwegian fella who played the 2nd half. Got talking and found out that the after match party was at the Holiday Inn opposite the De Vere. With us being smashed out of our brains we thought it was a right good idea to try our luck. Walked down there and into the public bar, said hello to John Viafara, Jason Dodd and saw then saw Claus sat at the bar. Walked over and started oozing out total garbage. Told him he was my hero and what a wonderful night etc etc etc. Finished off by saying how it was funny how the last time we met, he was spilling a pint of Goldshlager (or whatever the f*** it is called) down his shirt in a drunken mess in Jumpin Jacks.

What makes this meeting super uncomfortable, was that once I had finished, he looked at me and said;

 

"That's great mate, now if you can manage to get into the suite through them doors you will be able to tell Claus. But I am Jo Tessam."

 

At that point I decided I had had enough to drink and walked out to find a taxi, looking slot like this;