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Online Job Interview


hamster
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I hope in the near future to be conducting interviews for a job.

 

I have spent many hours in interviews but always on the victim side of the table. Be it for a job, helping the police with theri enquiries or on disciplinaries at work (my speciality, i really do throw my toys out of the pram in disciplinary interviews).

 

Anyway, I would like you to volunteer to be interviewd so that I can hone my skills; I already have a list of questions that I would like to ask prospective candidates.

 

WARNING - If you interview too well I may offer you a job.

 

Humourous replies welcomed too.

 

Please take a seat and tell me your name then we shall begin.

 

Hello my name is hamster but you can call me Sir or That little grey-haired bloke with glasses whichever you prefer, what is your name?

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Ah, the salary. That is the best answer I want, ask about me too.

Interesting that YOU should mention him (AS) actually. mrs hamster's first ever job was making Music Centres for AMSTRAD, anyone not familiar with AMSTRAD or more importantl Alan S, read up on where it really took off. My missus help make him who (or what) he is today. And the bastard never once said thankyou.

 

The above story is why I have made mrs h my company secretary, I need someone to organise my life, and I am also looking forward to the fringe benefits. ;-)

 

Money; I will pay anyone who works with me exactly the same hourly rate as I pay myself. The same rate in actual fact that I aim to pay anyone who works with or for me. catchy eh?

 

How old are you?

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Good, has good values - blind faith TICK

 

Would you ever set foot in Fratton Park if saints were not playing? It may be necessary in cases of emergency. I am going there for a business meeting on Boxing Day. You may be required to be nice to Skates, will that be a problem for you?

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Good, has good values - blind faith TICK

 

Would you ever set foot in Fratton Park if saints were not playing? It may be necessary in cases of emergency. I am going there for a business meeting on Boxing Day. You may be required to be nice to Skates, will that be a problem for you?

 

Of course. While I am very passionate about supporting my football club, I don't allow it to govern my life or career. If it was necessary for me to go to Fratton Park, I would happily go. Although, I would wear a face mask to cover up the fishy smell.

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If I could get you corp hospitality or a seat in with the Millwall fans which would you choose?

 

Ask me something someone?

 

I think sitting in with the Millwall fans would be a worthwhile experience, having studied the social sciences at university it would be an interesting bit of research.

 

And my question, is Margaret Thatcher the greatest woman the world has ever seen?

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I think sitting in with the Millwall fans would be a worthwhile experience, having studied the social sciences at university it would be an interesting bit of research.

 

And my question, is Margaret Thatcher the greatest woman the world has ever seen?

 

No, her effect was great though, history is at it's best when it is fresh. I view having lived through her tenure as quite characer building, my formative years if you like.

 

Would you ever throw a wheel trim at a group of Pompey fans?

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Are you still paying off your debt from time at Uni?

 

Leading question sorry. Do you agree that right or wrong in your eyes, that riots work?

 

I've only actually just started my first year at Uni, i'm going to graduate with minimum £24k debt in student loans, and god knows what else in bank loans and overdrafts.

 

As for riots, it depends entirely on the circumstances. If a riot started in Tesco because they ran out of scratchcards, it would be completely unjustified. However, riots do work sometimes and are a good medium for expressing public opinion in certain circumstances.

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I've only actually just started my first year at Uni, i'm going to graduate with minimum £24k debt in student loans, and god knows what else in bank loans and overdrafts.

 

As for riots, it depends entirely on the circumstances. If a riot started in Tesco because they ran out of scratchcards, it would be completely unjustified. However, riots do work sometimes and are a good medium for expressing public opinion in certain circumstances.

 

I like the cut of your jib Mikey. Why Super Mikey

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I like the cut of your jib Mikey. Why Super Mikey

 

Honestly, not a ferking clue. My previous username on S4E was Niemi, but by the time I signed up on here he had transferred, so I just chose the first thing that popped into my head. I wouldn't want to change it now, it's part of mah identitehhhh.

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Honestly, not a ferking clue. My previous username on S4E was Niemi, but by the time I signed up on here he had transferred, so I just chose the first thing that popped into my head. I wouldn't want to change it now, it's part of mah identitehhhh.

 

It most certainly is young Mikey, what would you like me to call you during this interview?

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I don't really have a preferred name, Michael sounds a bit too formal to me but Mike and Mikey sound a bit strange. I introduce myself as Michael, so that I guess.

 

Anyway, would love to stay and chat, but I have lectures in a few hours and need to do some reading before catching some Z's. Toodle pip, and good luck with your interviews Hamster!

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