trousers Posted 16 November, 2010 Share Posted 16 November, 2010 ...you can switch them off now love, it's not foggy anymore. FFS Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bridge too far Posted 16 November, 2010 Share Posted 16 November, 2010 Pass this message on to 'macho' BMW / Audi drivers too, will you please? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 16 November, 2010 Share Posted 16 November, 2010 ...you can switch them off now love, it's not foggy anymore. FFS lofl!! "while youre turning the lights off, why dont you turn off the heater...." (copyright Bob Newhart) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jonnyboy Posted 16 November, 2010 Share Posted 16 November, 2010 is it just me or are lights much brighter these days i always seem to be accusing passing cars of having full beam on Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lighthouse Posted 17 November, 2010 Share Posted 17 November, 2010 is it just me or are lights much brighter these days i always seem to be accusing passing cars of having full beam on Actually the world is getting darker. Global warming and all that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fish fingers Posted 17 November, 2010 Share Posted 17 November, 2010 is it just me or are lights much brighter these days i always seem to be accusing passing cars of having full beam on This. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chin Strain Posted 17 November, 2010 Share Posted 17 November, 2010 Pass this message on to 'macho' BMW / Audi drivers too, will you please? That's a bit carist. Anyway, it's simple really....can you see the car 100yds in front of you? Yes. Well you don't need your effing fog lights then you dumb arse. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 is it just me or are lights much brighter these days i always seem to be accusing passing cars of having full beam on You're just shrinking, I get this problem all the time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dimond Geezer Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 is it just me or are lights much brighter these days i always seem to be accusing passing cars of having full beam on You're just shrinking, I get this problem all the time. Me three. I assumed it was either my eyes deteriorating, or I am getting less tolerant in my middle-age. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Window Cleaner Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 is it just me or are lights much brighter these days i always seem to be accusing passing cars of having full beam on HID systems with Xenon bulbs I expect. Not sure if they're still illegal as an after-installation because when they're fitted to cars in the first place they have to be equipped with an automatic levelling system and headlight wipers.Doesn't stop people doing it though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Doctoroncall Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 The law, as presented by The Highway Code, states that front and rear fog lights must not be used unless visibility is seriously reduced - which generally means when you cannot see further than 100 metres (328 feet) - and that they must be switched off once the visibility improves. Using rear fog lights when visibility is greater than 100 metres can mask the brake lights and dazzle those drivers following, thus increasing the risk of a rear-end collision rather than reducing it. Front fog lights should only be used where visibility is seriously reduced and should be adjusted so as not to cause undue dazzle or discomfort to other road users. The inappropriate use is dangerous as it can affect the oncoming driver's ability to see cyclists, pedestrians, and also the road. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benjii Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 Had the same problem today. Stupid ****s. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 Yeah! Bloomin women! Here's one for you: Q: How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher? A: When the old one expects you to "do your share" LOL!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 Actually, me and the Mrs bumped into some old friends yesterday. My wife was driving. LOL!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 You know what.....nothing confuses a man more than a woman driver who does everything right. Hahahahaha! This is great isn't it? All us lads having some good jokes together! Great times. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 Idiots driving in the outside this morning doing 80mph! Wouldn't get out of my way. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RonManager Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 Ol' badger woont ged outa way moy tractor s'mornin'. 'Eld I up, didn'un. Baastrd badger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 Yeah! Bloomin women! Here's one for you: Q: How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher? A: When the old one expects you to "do your share" LOL!!! Why do women get married in White? Because all kitchen Appliances are white Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benjii Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 A family are driving behind a rubbish truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against their windscreen. Embarrassed, and to spare her son's innocence, the mother turns round and says, "oh, don't worry it was just an insect". To which, her son replies, "I'm surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that". Women drivers, eh?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquidshokk Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 is it just me or are lights much brighter these days i always seem to be accusing passing cars of having full beam on My bloody Octavia VRS is quite the opposite. You'd think my lights were off despite being on main beam. Not sure if it's a fault as the lights are on, just not very bright. Odd. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 18 November, 2010 Share Posted 18 November, 2010 My bloody Octavia VRS is quite the opposite. You'd think my lights were off despite being on main beam. Not sure if it's a fault as the lights are on, just not very bright. Odd. Why are your cars headlights like a woman? Because they're not very bright! Brilliant! This car based humour is really helping us men bond. You know what I really hate? It's when women don't indicate! What's that all about?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquidshokk Posted 19 November, 2010 Share Posted 19 November, 2010 Why are your cars headlights like a woman? Because they're not very bright! Brilliant! This car based humour is really helping us men bond. You know what I really hate? It's when women don't indicate! What's that all about?! Dont get me started on people who dont indicate......... I was following behind someone this morning for a couple of miles and not once did they indicate at any of the turnings!!! Not sure if it was a female but it was someone in one of those dodge mini 4x4 things.... worse than people who dont indicate are people who on the motorway think that just because they have indicated they can move straight over!!!! Pr!cks!!!!!!!! I need a coffee and to calm down..... Nothing makes me angry like sh!t drivers do. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Draino76 Posted 19 November, 2010 Share Posted 19 November, 2010 The wife threw a bit of cheddar at me this morning. I thought 'that was mature'. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 20 November, 2010 Share Posted 20 November, 2010 The wife threw a bit of cheddar at me this morning. I thought 'that was mature'. She sounds like a *****. You should have hit her. LOL! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 20 November, 2010 Share Posted 20 November, 2010 Pass this message on to 'macho' BMW / Audi drivers too, will you please? I drive an Audi. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 20 November, 2010 Share Posted 20 November, 2010 Why is it that women drivers don't put their lights/side lights on at dusk? I'm sure they just think lights are to see with, and haven't got the brains to realise they are also there so you can be seen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 20 November, 2010 Share Posted 20 November, 2010 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39qdhbkTko4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tractor_Saint Posted 20 November, 2010 Share Posted 20 November, 2010 (edited) Front fog lights should only be used where visibility is seriously reduced and should be adjusted so as not to cause undue dazzle or discomfort to other road users. The inappropriate use is dangerous as it can affect the oncoming driver's ability to see cyclists, pedestrians, and also the road. When I was living in Droitwich many years ago and about to leave for work I had a call from a friend to tell me the traffic wasn't looking good on the M5 north bound and with the fog suggesting I left it a little later. That was the day there was a 100 car pile up on the M5/M42 which IIRC was in part down to the fact that people piling in the back couldn't tell whether it was brake lights or fog lights. Had that friend not called .... Blimey - was it really in 1997 - erk Article on the pile up Edited 20 November, 2010 by Tractor_Saint Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 20 November, 2010 Share Posted 20 November, 2010 When I was living in Droitwich many years ago and about to leave for work I had a call from a friend to tell me the traffic wasn't looking good on the M5 north bound and with the fog suggesting I left it a little later. That was the day there was a 100 car pile up on the M5/M42 which IIRC was in part down to the fact that people piling in the back couldn't tell whether it was brake lights or fog lights. Had that friend not called .... It stands to reason that if on a busy motorway/dual carriageway you don't need your rear fogs on. I only ever put my rear fog lighst on if i can't see a car in my mirrors and as soon as I see a car behind me I turn them off. It's called being a good driver. I don't think women drivers get the concept of being courteous on the road because there's too many other more important things buzzing round their heads like what to cook for dinner, or did I leave the imersion heater on etc. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Big John Posted 20 November, 2010 Share Posted 20 November, 2010 many years ago I tried to teach my sister to drive, she kept opening the door before pulling away...apparently it was my fault as I had told her to let the clutch out!! when she eventually passsed her test she used to carry a bucket of water in the passenger seat...apparently it was for dipping the headlights.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deano6 Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 Why is it that women drivers don't put their lights/side lights on at dusk? I'm sure they just think lights are to see with, and haven't got the brains to realise they are also there so you can be seen. Classic punchline!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
surrey1saint Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 Classic punchline!! Add to that those divers who don't put headlights on in the rain! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 This is definitely shaping up to be a contender for a "Golden Thread"! Some quality stuff here, I've spit my coffee all over my laptop afew times already! Anyway, on a sadder note, my wife had a nasty accident with the car this morning. She backed it out of the garage, completely forgetting that the night before, she had backed it in. Hello Golden thread forum!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint francis Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 I got on a bus the other day and was shocked to discover a woman sat in the driving seat, bold as brass. As she moved off I took it upon myself to stand next to her, advising her on correct road positioning, best gear selection, opportunities to make progress, safe distances etc and offered a little praise when she got it right. "Good girl, good girl." Now this is all very well but I can't be expected to be there every day. I don't currently own a drivers license, but it's the fares you see. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquidshokk Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 This is definitely shaping up to be a contender for a "Golden Thread"! Some quality stuff here, I've spit my coffee all over my laptop afew times already! Anyway, on a sadder note, my wife had a nasty accident with the car this morning. She backed it out of the garage, completely forgetting that the night before, she had backed it in. Hello Golden thread forum!! Hahaha... Love it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 Coffee. Screen. I. Spit. All. Over. My. The. After. Post. That. Reading. Re-arrange these words and you'll know what just happened to me! I just had another massive LOL when I read my post about this thread heading staright to the Golden Threads forum - it's called the Golden Posts forum! There isn't a Golden Threads forum! That's the kind of thing a blonde would do! Blondes, eh? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liquidshokk Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 I got on a bus the other day and was shocked to discover a woman sat in the driving seat, bold as brass. As she moved off I took it upon myself to stand next to her, advising her on correct road positioning, best gear selection, opportunities to make progress, safe distances etc and offered a little praise when she got it right. "Good girl, good girl." Now this is all very well but I can't be expected to be there every day. I don't currently own a drivers license, but it's the fares you see. We as gentlemen of this world should each take turns to carry out such task should this bizzare mistake ever happen again... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dune Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bath Saint Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 I can't believe I've only just stumbled across the thread. It's absolutely hilarious. My sides have been splitting. My wife asked me what I was laughing at and even she found it rib tickling. But, I think she's taken the underlying message on board as she said she'd get the train to work from now on. She admits herself that putting on make up while driving at 50 in the fast lane on the motorway while chatting about shopping on her mobile phone was a little dangerous. Women, eh? Special mention goes to Dune for his brilliant observations and fantastically funny videos. Please, Dune, stop, or I'll be crying with laughter. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
suewhistle Posted 21 November, 2010 Share Posted 21 November, 2010 Dont get me started on people who dont indicate......... I was following behind someone this morning for a couple of miles and not once did they indicate at any of the turnings!!! Not sure if it was a female [snip] Probably an Italian man, from my experience living here.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jawillwill Posted 24 November, 2010 Share Posted 24 November, 2010 BUMP! (that was me resurrecting this thread...not a woman hitting it in the car!! lol) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Deppo Posted 24 November, 2010 Share Posted 24 November, 2010 LOL! Nice one Qwerty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CB Saint Posted 24 November, 2010 Share Posted 24 November, 2010 PMSL at the woman at the petrol station Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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