Dilema

[Dog]

Move to Luton, get a new bird, drive a taxi and rename yourself Ahmed. Cook crushed pigs heads on the side and sell it as kofte.

 

ColinCJ do you have a photo of your girlfriend, so I can judge.

 

To be honest, your life is a big jumble sale, do you play darts on a Monday night at the C.I.U. club in Porthleven?

[Dog]

Move to Luton, get a new bird, drive a taxi and rename yourself Ahmed. Cook crushed pigs heads on the side and sell it as kofte.

 

ColinCJ do you have a photo of your girlfriend, so I can judge.

 

To be honest, your life is a big jumble sale, do you play darts on a Monday night at the C.I.U. club in Porthleven?

[Faz]

Confucius, he say:

 

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

[Faz]

Confucius, he say:

 

Wheresoever you go, go with all your heart.

[Guan 2.0]

Not to lessen your dilemma, but it sounds that partially at least, you've already mentally checked out. Instead of just turning down the job, you're looking to an internet forum for validation of what a wonderful opportunity this is, and how you can't possibly miss out. Given that it's obvious your partner will not make the move whatever the conditions, its seems you already know the path you have to choose, harsh as it may seem.

[suewhistle]

Go.

 

Regret only the things you don't do, not the things you do.

 

I'd whole-heartedly agree with that.

 

I'd take the chance and move to a place with an eye to transport links south. Will your GF say no to everything that you suggest in life? Better to test the relationship now rather than later. For her the kid is a big issue naturally as is being a carer, but those situations change too. Who is to say whether you are earmarked for other promotions which may well move you south again in quite a short time span - say a couple of years. It's far better to do this mobility thing when you are younger. Are you considering another kid, in which case get the hard career work out the way now rather than at the same time as really being needed more at home.

 

Either way, good luck.

[dingbattigger]

If you decide to stay you must be 100% committed to staying as in the future you could blame the missus for the fact you didn't go. Like most on here I would say go. You are already in a long distance relationship so why not a longer distance with more prospects?

[Golden Balls]

I have just had the same situation a couple of months ago.

 

I got offered to move from Southampton to Plymouth for a promotion. I'm 23 and it's a bloody good promotion. I had a great life in Southampton. Great gf, great group of mates, easy living really.

 

I took the job, I travel the 3.5 hours back to Southampton on Friday afternoons, and go back to Plymouth in the early hours on Monday. I don't regret it at all. It gets hard sometimes without the missus, but it's not like we have kids or anything and if we're meant to be, it will work.

 

So from my experience, take the job.

[Colinjb]

Right, I have reached a decision.

 

I am staying in Coventry.

 

The reason being that........ I will be taking over the whole of the Midlands region in April anyway, just found out today. It's an area worth more then Scotland and is somewhat more convenient! The reason to go... (career progression) has therefore dissappeared.

 

Quite a relief all things considered!

[Big John]

Top man Colin, I am really please for you and your fiance.

 

We should not measure ourselves by what we get, we should measure people by what they give and it sounds to me that you are very close to giving your heart to a very lucky young lady. Use work as an excuse to stay if you must but reading between the lines of your posts on this topic I can see love coming to the fore.

[Colinjb]

Yeah, I had pretty much decided anyway, hadn't broken that to the boss yet today but then that latest nugget came up.

 

I've been offered an ideal solution.. for the time being anyway. She isn't my fiancé though, not yet.

 

Words can't tell you how relieved I am.

[angelman]

1}I have been informed that if I turn it down I can stay as I am, there would be no negatives,

 

2}Stay and I would develop slower professionally but I could continue comfortably with little strain on me and the other half... although somewhere I wouldn't wish to spend that much longer.

 

3}Go, risk the end of me and Mrs 'Colinjb' which would really upset me.... to say the least.

 

I see 3 points.

 

1} you might be told that there are no negatives, but in reality your card will be marked as someone not ambitious enough. Later down the line it might come back as the person who turned down a move.

 

2 & 3} Only you can answer this. Why not marry her and then move, that way she would have to come with you. You seem to have reached that stage of being without her would be upsetting which I guess means marriage (if that is a possibility). If she loves you then have you thought that she might actually come with you so that she can be with you? Is she set on Coventry? And if Scotchland was only for a couple of years, I could think of worse places to be.

[Whitey Grandad]

Right, I have reached a decision.

 

I am staying in Coventry.

 

The reason being that........ I will be taking over the whole of the Midlands region in April anyway, just found out today. It's an area worth more then Scotland and is somewhat more convenient! The reason to go... (career progression) has therefore dissappeared.

 

Quite a relief all things considered!

I'm very pleased for you both. Have they found some other mug for Jockland?

[Redondo Saint]

Right, I have reached a decision.

 

I am staying in Coventry.

 

The reason being that........ I will be taking over the whole of the Midlands region in April anyway, just found out today. It's an area worth more then Scotland and is somewhat more convenient! The reason to go... (career progression) has therefore dissappeared.

 

Quite a relief all things considered!

 

See,,, I told you other opportunities will come your way if you are good enough.

 

Being too quick to take what is first offered is not always the best policy!!

 

I don't agree with some of these glib statements about not regretting things you did or didn't do... Very often the considered approach to life is much better in the long run than a "quick, let's go" reaction.

[Johnny Bognor]

See,,, I told you other opportunities will come your way if you are good enough.

 

Being too quick to take what is first offered is not always the best policy!!

 

I don't agree with some of these glib statements about not regretting things you did or didn't do... Very often the considered approach to life is much better in the long run than a "quick, let's go" reaction.

 

 

Indeed, cream always rises to the top and so if you are really that good, other (perhaps better) opportunities will come your way.

[trousers]

If your g/f doesn't want to move then it's probably not going to work out between you.

 

^This, I'm afraid.

 

Really deep "true love" (the 'soul mate' kind) would survive a move of the 'main breadwinner' to another part of the country.

 

I've been married 21 years so know a little bit about lasting relationships if that helps (and doesn't sound too patronising?!)

 

Is there a compromise situation you can go with for, say, the first 6 months? For example, you work in Scotland during the week and 'come home' to the missus at weekends? Again, "true love" would survive (and indeed flourish) under such an arrangement.

 

Edit: Ah, c o c k.....that'll learn me to only read the first few posts before chipping in with a reply...! As you were YOUNG MAN :-)

[trousers]

I don't agree with some of these glib statements about not regretting things you did or didn't do... Very often the considered approach to life is much better in the long run than a "quick, let's go" reaction.

 

I didn't see the "go for it" comments as glib....they seemed pretty heartfelt and based on personal experience to me. Dismissing them out of hand is perhaps more glib....? ;-)

 

At the end of the day, either approach (snap decision vs mull over it) can be "best"....it's all about gut feel....

[Redondo Saint]

I didn't see the "go for it" comments as glib....they seemed pretty heartfelt and based on personal experience to me. Dismissing them out of hand is perhaps more glib....? ;-)

 

At the end of the day, either approach (snap decision vs mull over it) can be "best"....it's all about gut feel....

 

Yup, gut feel is sometimes the best decision maker.