Holding Doors Open

[dubai_phil]

While we seem to be on the subject of manners (clearly Dune went to a finishing school in Switzerland)......

 

It became very non-PC to do polite well mannered things (beyond haitches & knives & forks) such as Holding a Door open for a "Lady" or offering to help somebody that was maybe not as strong as you.

 

When I go back to Blighty I get some right snobby comments when I hold open the door to a small shop - especially from the blue rinse brigade - I'm QUITE capable of that young man -

 

And yet the younger women seem to quite appreciate that you have noticed them and are polite.

 

 

So today's debate has to be

 

Do you hold doors open for Ladies? (Or of course for Men with loads of shopping)

 

Me - yup, sorry Manners maketh man and all that. But also it is often funny to see 20 or 30 people just push through as well and completely ignore you...

[suewhistle]

I hold doors open for anyone. Nothing to do with the sex or attractiveness of a person, just natural manners and being aware of the world around you. I'd probably wait a bit longer for an older person, somebody with a pram or otherwise encumbered.

[bridge too far]

I echo Sue's comments. As she says, natural good manners and respect for other people.

[Jonnyboy]

its when you hold doors open and get ignored or evil looks, it puts you off doing it again

[Seaford Saint]

Good maners don't cost nuffin'

[chrisobee]

I hold doors open for anyone. Nothing to do with the sex or attractiveness of a person, just natural manners and being aware of the world around you. I'd probably wait a bit longer for an older person, somebody with a pram or otherwise encumbered.

 

This !

[Gingeletiss]

I hold doors open for anyone. Nothing to do with the sex or attractiveness of a person, just natural manners and being aware of the world around you. I'd probably wait a bit longer for an older person, somebody with a pram or otherwise encumbered.

 

This + 1

[ericofarabia]

While we seem to be on the subject of manners (clearly Dune went to a finishing school in Switzerland)......

 

It became very non-PC to do polite well mannered things (beyond haitches & knives & forks) such as Holding a Door open for a "Lady" or offering to help somebody that was maybe not as strong as you.

 

When I go back to Blighty I get some right snobby comments when I hold open the door to a small shop - especially from the blue rinse brigade - I'm QUITE capable of that young man -

 

And yet the younger women seem to quite appreciate that you have noticed them and are polite.

 

 

So today's debate has to be

 

Do you hold doors open for Ladies? (Or of course for Men with loads of shopping)

 

Me - yup, sorry Manners maketh man and all that. But also it is often funny to see 20 or 30 people just push through as well and completely ignore you...

 

Was all quite beleivable till the "Young Man" bit .....

 

I hope you thank the youngsters who hold the door open for you

[dubai_phil]

Was all quite beleivable till the "Young Man" bit .....

 

I hope you thank the youngsters who hold the door open for you

 

Behave, or I will order Mrs EoA to drop you off down here to help me this afternoon..... More on that laters.

 

But yes actually a little old Blue Rinse lady in Tweed Jacket with Wicker basket coming out of Debenhams in Salisbury about 2 months ago... I'm thinking ... Would anyone notice if I slammed it shut on the stuck up old cow?

[spyinthesky]

I was brought in an age when good manners and politeness were a given.

 

However I remember once being given my school bus fare back by a conductoress (remember them?) who was taken by the fact that I said 'thank you' when given a bus ticket.

 

On the subject of open doors I do get miffed when people waltz through without any acknowledgement but, on the reverse, get a warm happy glow when people are genuinely appreciative.

 

I find that youngsters are more likely to waltz thro an open door without a 'thank you' but I guess that is due to the society they have been brought up in.

 

Mind you what really ****es me off are car drivers (mostly women) who do not acknowledge when you let them in at junctions (even hairy arsed Transit drivers will offer thanks) or refuse to let you out of a busy side road and sit in the car combing their hair or chatting on the phone when they could have let you out.

[ChrisPY]

I was brought in an age when good manners and politeness were a given.

 

However I remember once being given my school bus fare back by a conductoress (remember them?) who was taken by the fact that I said 'thank you' when given a bus ticket.

 

On the subject of open doors I do get miffed when people waltz through without any acknowledgement but, on the reverse, get a warm happy glow when people are genuinely appreciative.

 

I find that youngsters are more likely to waltz thro an open door without a 'thank you' but I guess that is due to the society they have been brought up in.

 

Mind you what really ****es me off are car drivers (mostly women) who do not acknowledge when you let them in at junctions (even hairy arsed Transit drivers will offer thanks) or refuse to let you out of a busy side road and sit in the car combing their hair or chatting on the phone when they could have let you out.

 

Whereas, being a 'youngster', I find that middle aged people will often not thank me when I hold a door open. Perhaps because they consider themselves better and more important than me...

[Guest Dark Sotonic Mills]

It just seems natural to me. I'd feel awful just letting a door shut in someone's face. I've never had any adverse comments made whilst holding open a door for someone.

[Liquidshokk]

I always make an effort to hold doors open for anyone..

 

Further to this is it still necessary/expected to let a woman go through a door before you if you meet at the same time? A woman said "after you" the other day when going through a door in a corridor and I went through but felt I should have insisted she goes first afterwards....

[Saint_clark]

I hold doors open for anyone. Nothing to do with the sex or attractiveness of a person, just natural manners and being aware of the world around you. I'd probably wait a bit longer for an older person, somebody with a pram or otherwise encumbered.

 

This. I love being ignored though, often wonder if people assume it's my job or something.

[franny]

This. I love being ignored though, often wonder if people assume it's my job or something.

 

My reaction in such circumstances is to say "Thank you" loud enogh for them to hear, they then either look sheepish or acknowledge it. Treat them as you would your children and they will learn!

[Saint_clark]

Occasionally I say "you're welcome" quite loudly. One bloke had the audacity to get annoyed at me for it.

[Whitey Grandad]

I always hold doors open for people but I can't resist a loud 'thank you' when they don't acknowledge. I have notice in France now that I've reached the age where they don't just say 'bonjour' any more, it's 'bonjour monsieur'. And we were very impressed in Bermuda in September when schoolchildren offered us their seats on a crowded bus.

[SNSUN]

Yep, I hold the doors open for people but there is a time and a place. Trying to get in the bogs in the Kingsland at half time and all manners go out the window - I need a wee, it's each man to themselves!

[BadgerBadger]

I always hold doors open, it's the right thing to do, after all didn't we invent the laying down of your cloak over a puddle for the damsons or is that a technicolour movie myth.

Manners are everything and I'm a fully paid up member of the sarcastic 'Thank You' brigade when it's not aknowledged, ignorant fuks.

[dubai_phil]

Holding up a "how things are different" banner for just a moment, down here they have this whole thing about "who goes through a door first" thing that I've never quite worked out.

 

Certianly much more so than in Europe, a lady is always deferred to and even a wizened Westerner will step back to allow a "Local" Lady to go first.

 

But then when you get Arabs there is this whole thing about "The person on the right of you goes first" unless they are a guest in the country. (At least I THINK it is the right!)

 

It can be quite amusing when in, for example, an elevator. Some older (yes Eric there ARE some) Arabs standing to the right will insist that I go first. Yet to be polite because they are on my right I insist they go first, so of course the fecking elevator doors close.

 

You also come across it in Shopping Malls a great deal, as a "Manners" thing, the locals actually react with almost shock if you defer to them because you are aware of the whole left right thingy.

 

Back in Blighty, one thing I have noticed besides the "very few people bother to say thankyou" is that when you hold the door open for one, you seem to create a black hole that you disappear into and something like 20 people all just walk through and yet NONE of them bother to take over the door holding responsibility, and just expect you to stand there all day (oh and NONE of the "following masses" ever seems to say thanks).

 

Have to say, when that happens, I finally reach the point of saying - oh feck you - and just let go.

 

Some people simply forgot to wake up and become aware when they were born I guess. Many of them drive the same way!

[Minsk]

I hold doors open for anyone. Nothing to do with the sex or attractiveness of a person, just natural manners and being aware of the world around you. I'd probably wait a bit longer for an older person, somebody with a pram or otherwise encumbered.

 

This, plus I also help old ladies/women with pushchairs up and down steps, on and off buses, etc.

 

Oh, and I also do the loud 'thank you' when people ignore my presence (obviously, in Russian here); having said that, the people here thank me far more often than those in the UK.

[spyinthesky]

Yep, I hold the doors open for people but there is a time and a place. Trying to get in the bogs in the Kingsland at half time and all manners go out the window - I need a wee, it's each man to themselves!

 

This brings up another point.

 

Anyone taken one on the snout exiting the 'facilities' when someone bursts into the St Marys toilets thro the exit door?

 

The doors are clearly marked in and out!!

[dronskisaint]

Occasionally I say "you're welcome" quite loudly. One bloke had the audacity to get annoyed at me for it.

 

Me too....I'm an embarrassment to my children!

[Redbul]

I hold doors open for anyone. Nothing to do with the sex or attractiveness of a person, just natural manners and being aware of the world around you. I'd probably wait a bit longer for an older person, somebody with a pram or otherwise encumbered.

 

This....

[Saint137]

Anyone. Also if I'm in a lift (usually at work) I tend to let women out first. Also walk closest to the traffic on the pavement when I'm walking with the missus.

[dubai_phil]

Anyone. Also if I'm in a lift (usually at work) I tend to let women out first. Also walk closest to the traffic on the pavement when I'm walking with the missus.

 

Ah, someone else knows this one as well.

[chrisobee]

This + 1

 

That's just sheer laziness, construct your own thoughts

[ChrisPY]

Anyone. Also if I'm in a lift (usually at work) I tend to let women out first. Also walk closest to the traffic on the pavement when I'm walking with the missus.

 

When walking past an elderly couple the other day I went closest to the traffic. The pavement had enough room for two people. They decided to stay side by side so I was forced into the busy road. Helpful of them.

[Durleyfos]

Occasionally I say "you're welcome" quite loudly. One bloke had the audacity to get annoyed at me for it.

 

If someone walks through a door I've held open for them without a sideways glance at me, I say "Don't mention it. Oh, you didn't" in a slightly too loud a voice.

[for_heaven's_Saint]

As most have said, I always hold the door open for anyone. I also say 'don't mention it' if I get no thanks.

 

Leading on from the OP and the risk of being accused of being sexist, agest etc, I always find this problem with giving up my seat on buses and the tube. There are a lot of people who get offended if you offer your seat to them. I'm not sure if there's meant to be some sort of age restriction where you only offer your seat to people over 65, but short of asking their date of birth it's hard to tell!

[thesaint sfc]

I hold doors open for anyone. Nothing to do with the sex or attractiveness of a person, just natural manners and being aware of the world around you. I'd probably wait a bit longer for an older person, somebody with a pram or otherwise encumbered.

 

Agreed. Particularly people with cucumbers.

[thefunkygibbons]

How about acknowledging when someone gave way in traffic

 

I always do it regardless of whether I am first or last in a queue let threw

 

Sadly not everyone else is so inclined

[Whitey Grandad]

As most have said, I always hold the door open for anyone. I also say 'don't mention it' if I get no thanks.

 

Leading on from the OP and the risk of being accused of being sexist, agest etc, I always find this problem with giving up my seat on buses and the tube. There are a lot of people who get offended if you offer your seat to them. I'm not sure if there's meant to be some sort of age restriction where you only offer your seat to people over 65, but short of asking their date of birth it's hard to tell!

One has to be careful with young ladies who may appear to be pregnant. There may be other explanations for their swelling.

[Guest Dark Sotonic Mills]

One has to be careful with young ladies who may appear to be pregnant. There may be other explanations for their swelling.