Gemmel Posted 17 October, 2010 Share Posted 17 October, 2010 It's just the best thing in the world. No rule book on how to do it, completely different for EVERY child, but all you need is a bit of love and they reward you 1000000000000000 million times over. They will of course stitch you up, cost you a fortune and give you endless sleepness nights, but that's by the by. Just got to navigate my way through the next few years, with my Daughter being 13 and talking about boys, without getting locked up. Any tips? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
TUS Posted 17 October, 2010 Share Posted 17 October, 2010 The cellar. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 17 October, 2010 Share Posted 17 October, 2010 had dinner with my mate today and for ther first time in a long time he didn;t have his nipper in tow. His lad , 14 now, chose to rather spend the afternoon with his new girlfriend intead! What comes around.... Good luck Gemmel and sometimes it's better to not know what tey are up to, the flip side is that your imagination will run riot, try not to kill anyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadoldgit Posted 17 October, 2010 Share Posted 17 October, 2010 Ours is into drugs right now so you might want to think about it a bit more carefully. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mickn Posted 17 October, 2010 Share Posted 17 October, 2010 I wish you luck Gemmel. I have 3, 2 boys and a girl, all now in their 20s. From the ages of 1-13ish it was fantastic and then for no obvious reason they turned into completely different people, unknown to me and the wife. As you say there is no rulebook, imo you bring them up how you think is right and then keep your fingers crossed. When I hear people saying 'blame the parents blah blah blah' I generally think it must be people who have never had kids. It also makes me laugh when I hear people saying their kids fell in with the wrong crowd, it's never their kids that are that wrong crowd. I think most parents try their best, but it's not easy. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 17 October, 2010 Author Share Posted 17 October, 2010 Ours is into drugs right now so you might want to think about it a bit more carefully. Ouch, sorry fella. That's not good. But if you can bring them out the other side of that, then how ever long it takes, they will worship you forever. Don't want to pry too deeply but is it serious or just a bit of weed? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hamster Posted 17 October, 2010 Share Posted 17 October, 2010 joking aside, always be there for them mate, they realy do not know how much and when they will need you. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swannymere Posted 17 October, 2010 Share Posted 17 October, 2010 Apparently there is medical evidence that teenagers brains are 'wired' slightly differently from adults hence the general confusion when trying to 'discuss' things. What may seen obvious and of a priority to an adult may seem completely differently from a teenagers point of view. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 17 October, 2010 Author Share Posted 17 October, 2010 I wish you luck Gemmel. I have 3, 2 boys and a girl, all now in their 20s. From the ages of 1-13ish it was fantastic and then for no obvious reason they turned into completely different people, unknown to me and the wife. As you say there is no rulebook, imo you bring them up how you think is right and then keep your fingers crossed. When I hear people saying 'blame the parents blah blah blah' I generally think it must be people who have never had kids. It also makes me laugh when I hear people saying their kids fell in with the wrong crowd, it's never their kids that are that wrong crowd. I think most parents try their best, but it's not easy.[/QUOT Somebody that i have huge respect for, once told me that all you can do is teach them right from wrong. If they decide to take the wrong path, then as long as they make that decision with an informed choice, then you have done all you can. I think there is a lot of truth in that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_bert Posted 17 October, 2010 Share Posted 17 October, 2010 Kids are great. My nipper is a bit of a handfull at times, but makes me go soppy when he says "Daddy, I love you" as I shut his bedroom door at night after putting him to bed, it makes it all worthwhile. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcjwills Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 It's just the best thing in the world. No rule book on how to do it, completely different for EVERY child, but all you need is a bit of love and they reward you 1000000000000000 million times over. They will of course stitch you up, cost you a fortune and give you endless sleepness nights, but that's by the by. Just got to navigate my way through the next few years, with my Daughter being 13 and talking about boys, without getting locked up. Any tips? My best advice is make them just a little afraid of what you would do if you caught them stealing or doing drugs (told mine I'd move them the other end of the country if I caught them doing it), besides that try to give them the tools to be a good citizen and let them out into the world, and most of all tell her to be an individual not a sheep following the rest of the crowd, and she will make you proud. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robsk II Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 Somebody that i have huge respect for, once told me that all you can do is teach them right from wrong. If they decide to take the wrong path, then as long as they make that decision with an informed choice, then you have done all you can. I think there is a lot of truth in that. You're absolutely right. I don't have kids, but I've worked with young people for 7 years and seen an awful lot of parenting, bad kids, good kids, daft decisions, regrets, laziness, etc. It's clear to me that you can't force any child to do something without unreasonable means, and you'll only get resentment and rebellion if you do, as is the normal. Yet if you can get them to understand the whys and so on for themselves, you're 90% there. Some people will always make bad choices, no matter what you do, but as long as you're a decent role model and you can honestly say you've tried within reason, as much as you can to do what is right for them - not just for you, or easiest - and not just by giving them things, but also aspirations, opportunities, decent values etc - then I reckon you can look back with no regrets. It'll always be easy to say 'where did we go wrong' and examine details in hindsight if anything in the future messes up, but.. again, as long as you can say you did what you could, you're a good parent IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
JustMike Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 got 4 daughters, eldest is 15. I warned her that i will interview her blokes "meet the parents" style. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintscottofthenortham Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 got 4 daughters, eldest is 15. I warned her that i will interview her blokes "meet the parents" style. I have two daughters aged 2 1/2 and 8 weeks. On their 12th birthday they will watch ever 'Saw' film and told that should they ever bring home a young man, this will be what he has to face. They probably won't meet any anyhow, as a private home tutor and 6 locks on each door and window with the keys in a safe, of which belongs in a safe, of which belongs in a safe, which is enclosed in a constantly burning clay oven. The 30ft wall with CCTV covering every inch should do the trick should ever they get them damned keys. After that they have the electric fence to deal with. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robsk II Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 Sound parenting, IMO. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bristolsaint29 Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 I'm starting my Southampton FC brainwashing at an early age, 1 boy nearly 3, can now sing " There's only one Marcus Liebherr", " All Southampton FC" and "Rickie Lambert Southampton Goal Machine" Nothing beats walking through the door after a **** day and little man comes running up and asks me if I've had a good day, every day is when it's like that!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
LVSaint Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 I'm starting my Southampton FC brainwashing at an early age, 1 boy nearly 3, can now sing " There's only one Marcus Liebherr", " All Southampton FC" and "Rickie Lambert Southampton Goal Machine" Nothing beats walking through the door after a **** day and little man comes running up and asks me if I've had a good day, every day is when it's like that!!! My 8 year old knows a few Saints songs. He especially thinks me cool singing the Rickie Lambert song in full gusto whenever the tune is played in another context on TV or where ever. We were watching Die Hard the other day and it came on......for example. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamsaint Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 if your oldest is 13, my advice is "Quit while you are ahead". Oh and if you want a school to educate your child trust neither the child nor the school !! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Redbul Posted 18 October, 2010 Share Posted 18 October, 2010 It ain't easy, we've got 4, 2 boys and 2 girls and we've treated each them the same way but they've all turned out very differently. Eldest nipper dropped out of school and basically skived for 3 years; no interest in girls (or boys come to that), working or education but has now got a job and it's really turned him around. Eldest girl worked like a mad thing at school and got really fab grades but then dropped out of college last year to go to work. She now regrets this a bit and wants to go back. Youngest is in her last year at school and used to smoke and drink and we had our suspicions that she was 'dabbling' in light drugs but she's got a top boyfriend who has put her on the straight and narrow. Youngest boy is an absolute whirlwind. Unlike his older brother (who is, or was, plain lazy) he throws himself into everything 100%, be it school work, sport or anything. Goes up to secondary school next year. Point I'm making is that there is only so much you can 'nurture', a lot of how kids develop is in their 'nature', but as Gemmel said, we have always tried to teach them right from wrong and think about the consequences of their actions; they are then free to choose their own courses of action but we obviously recognise that there will be situations that they encounter that they will not be equipped for which we can offer guidance for. So, do what you think is tight at the end of the day, as long as they are happy with their lot then you've succeeded. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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