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Posted

He is obviously a talented bloke. I wonder why he did such a bad job with Ted's statue?

 

" He said: 'Some years ago I did some restoration work on Victory. I virtually lived on her for about a year. They always try to use original timbers when doing restoration work, but some are just not good enough."

 

Maybe after spending so much time down there he is a closet Pompey fan and he messed up the Ted Bates statue on purpose so they could have a laugh at us? Seriously though that statue was so so bad. If they had not have melted it back down they could have given it to Milan Mandaric as a garden feature ;)

Posted
His first effort...

 

boat.jpg

 

That gave me an actual real LOL!

 

That was one beautiful sculpture of the Victory. Amazing skill. He should be completely ashamed of himself for the crack whore job he made of Ted. This guy has his priorities wrong if he wants to charge people cash for his work.

Posted

All will be well until the day of unveiling when Mr Brennan adds his complimentary sculpture of Nelson to the bridge - the great admiral is bound to look like a cross between Stephen Hawking and Julian Clary!...

Posted

That is insane.

 

I can't even begin to imagine quite how you'd go about making something like that, I would have thought working with metal would be far easier than a block of oak. I reckon he spent the majority of those 17 years sharpening and re-sharpening any tools he was using!

Posted
He was clearly also not comfortable with sculpting a person. Hearing him try to claim that the proportions were correct was painful.

 

Is there a copy of that thread hanging around somewhere? So funny. What I found most funny were the comments from people who said they'd been given a sneak preview and thought it looked great.

Posted
Is it me or do the masts on that thing look out of scale ( too tall ) . No doubt someone will correct me.

 

I love it that the flags (pennants) are flying in opposite directions!

I dread* to see what the rating holding a cannon ball and getting ready to salute will look like.

 

* I meant "can't wait".

Posted

 

An inappropriate thread title.

 

It is a stunning carving of the Victory, and negative comments really are churlish. As I and many more said when the fist glimpses of the original Ted were seen, sculpting large figure portraits are not his forte, and the fault lies in those selecting him for the job in the first place. There should have been a public competition where sculptors submitted matrices of their proposals. Fortunately Crouch (who most don't have a good word for) rescued the project and paid for the superb Ted in front of the stadium now.

 

Imo SFC missed a trick in not selling miniatures of the original Ted as garden gnomes.

 

But we did enjoy the most classic of all threads. I wish someone had kept it for posterity.

Posted
An inappropriate thread title.

 

It is a stunning carving of the Victory, and negative comments really are churlish. As I and many more said when the fist glimpses of the original Ted were seen, sculpting large figure portraits are not his forte, and the fault lies in those selecting him for the job in the first place. There should have been a public competition where sculptors submitted matrices of their proposals. Fortunately Crouch (who most don't have a good word for) rescued the project and paid for the superb Ted in front of the stadium now.

 

Imo SFC missed a trick in not selling miniatures of the original Ted as garden gnomes.

 

But we did enjoy the most classic of all threads. I wish someone had kept it for posterity.

 

Oh, do bugger off. It was a joke. He is clearly a superb sculptor - with wood.

 

I remember at the time he admitted never working with bronze, and it is clear that the difference presented issues.

Posted
Oh, do bugger off. It was a joke. He is clearly a superb sculptor - with wood.

 

I remember at the time he admitted never working with bronze, and it is clear that the difference presented issues.

I agree, although I feel that even a wooden version of his Ted statues would still have looked disproportionate. I'm sure that the club could have recovered a large proportion of the cost by selling gnome-sized versions.

Posted
50bates452021full.jpg

 

Absolute classic.

 

A master piece of craftsmanship, Sadly lost along with the irreplaceable gem of a manuscript,,,,,,The Statue Thread, A work of art that you could read over and over again, And almost pizz your pants every time,

Posted

On the original thread somebody described the statue (prior to the photos appearing) as looking like a 'spasticated dwarf' - that person should be the art critic for the Guardian and judge the Turner Prize - short, pithy and completely on the money!

 

My bet Hughie, is that the rating will be a ringer for Fred Scuttle...

Posted
A master piece of craftsmanship, Sadly lost along with the irreplaceable gem of a manuscript,,,,,,The Statue Thread, A work of art that you could read over and over again, And almost pizz your pants every time,

 

I am surprised that the Milan Mandaric Statue hasn't been erected outside the Fratton Park toilets to be fair.

Posted
An inappropriate thread title.

 

It is a stunning carving of the Victory, and negative comments really are churlish. As I and many more said when the fist glimpses of the original Ted were seen, sculpting large figure portraits are not his forte, and the fault lies in those selecting him for the job in the first place. There should have been a public competition where sculptors submitted matrices of their proposals. Fortunately Crouch (who most don't have a good word for) rescued the project and paid for the superb Ted in front of the stadium now.

 

Imo SFC missed a trick in not selling miniatures of the original Ted as garden gnomes.

 

But we did enjoy the most classic of all threads. I wish someone had kept it for posterity.

 

I disagree, the fault lies with a sculptor taking a job using a material he had no experience with, and no ability to work at that scale. The artist should have known it better than the commissioners.

Posted

Do we have any proof that the original statue was melted down?

 

I know we have been told that it was, but maybe some sneaky git has it stored away in a storeroom somewhere.

  • 6 years later...
Posted
the fault lies in those selecting him for the job in the first place.

 

Nonsense. While they shouldn't have hired him he should know better than anyone what his strengths were. Taking the cash for the job while knowing he was sh*t at people was very dishonest IMO.

Posted
Brilliant, my comment is the 3rd worst rated..... and another statue comment is right behind.

 

...along with the person who said "You've missed a bit" which I thought was quite funny.

  • 2 weeks later...
Posted

Literally came on here with the intention of bumping this thread (or a similar one) up.

 

I saw a statute the other day,

That is Ted Bates, I heard someone say.

I laughed and laughed and then I said,

Why the small body and the massive head,

The massive head,

The massive head

Why the small body and the massive head.

 

Ah memories.

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