Housework

[Turkish]

I’ve never understood women complaining about how much they have to do. The ones that work get in from work on a ‘full day’ at around 5.45-6pm, if my incumbent is anything to go by. If they prepared tea/dinner/supper immediately on getting in this could be ready in a generous 45 minutes, by 6.30, giving them 15 minutes to eat it, then 15 minutes to collect the dishes and wash up (excluding the lucky ones whose man has brought them a dishwasher). If they put some washing in at 7pm and then started cleaning a room it’d surely take no more than one hour. Giving them another hour if needed to iron or do other chores as required. They'd be done by 9pm latest. Giving them an two hours to themselves for relaxation before getting themselves to bed to bed at a reasonable hour to maintain their looks or fulfill any sexual needs their man may have. Do this every night the house andtheir family will be clean and spotless and they'd feel fulfilled like all women need to be. All they need is better time management and less lazing around reading Hello, drinking wine and watching telly. As for the ones that work part time or dont work at all, well it's the life leisure for them, party time surely with all that spare time on their hands, they'd look like godesses only having to clean and cook for 3 hours a day and the rest of the time is theirs to look after themselves and their families.

Edited 28 September, 2010 by Turkish

[RedArmy]

Housewives have got it made, the lazy c*nts.

 

Bit of hoovering.

Bit of dusting.

Load the laundry into a machine and press a button, unload it and put it away.

Cook dinner, do the dishes, job done.

 

The rest of the day spent watching TV, shopping with money they didn't earn or sleeping.

 

It gets worse when rich housewives have the audacity to hire a maid. They're not worth the oxygen they consume.

[Turkish]

Housewives have got it made, the lazy c*nts.

 

Bit of hoovering.

Bit of dusting.

Load the laundry into a machine and press a button, unload it and put it away.

Cook dinner, do the dishes, job done.

 

The rest of the day spent watching TV, shopping with money they didn't earn or sleeping.

 

It gets worse when rich housewives have the audacity to hire a maid. They're not worth the oxygen they consume.

 

Indeed, this type of woman really is the worst, it's no wonder so many of them get fat with all the sitting around on their arse that they do.

[JackanorySFC]

The ones on Facebook constantly moaning that "Brandon" is kicking off, or "Tia" has made a mess wind me up do me in - if it was such a stretch they wouldn't be on facebook boring everyone!

 

Basically any bird who's got a bloke that earns enough dough to allow them to stay at home have absolutely no right to moan about anything in my opinion. Get up, make baby bottle and husband a cup of tea, wave husband off to work, make bed, tidy kitchen, hoover dust etc put washing on, take baby out for a walk, meet other yummy mummys at cafe to moan about the hard life they have, get back, get washing out - watch loose women or skt+ for a while, go to Waitrose and get the shopping in, un pack it, iron for an hour, more sky+, cook dinner, husbands gets in - bish bash bosh.

 

Easy life!

[Turkish]

The ones on Facebook constantly moaning that "Brandon" is kicking off, or "Tia" has made a mess wind me up do me in - if it was such a stretch they wouldn't be on facebook boring everyone!

 

Basically any bird who's got a bloke that earns enough dough to allow them to stay at home have absolutely no right to moan about anything in my opinion. Get up, make baby bottle and husband a cup of tea, wave husband off to work, make bed, tidy kitchen, hoover dust etc put washing on, take baby out for a walk, meet other yummy mummys at cafe to moan about the hard life they have, get back, get washing out - watch loose women or skt+ for a while, go to Waitrose and get the shopping in, un pack it, iron for an hour, more sky+, cook dinner, husbands gets in - bish bash bosh.

 

Easy life!

 

Exactly 1/ no one gives a f*ck 2/like you say if it was that hard work they wouldn't be boring the sh*t out of everyone with it and 3/if they didnt want a kid they should have taken those special sweets you can get or put something on the end of it, as Jeremy Kyle would say.

 

Even if they have to work all they need is a rota and a bit of organisation to keep the house tidy and meals on time. I just despair of the lazy wenches that sit around watching soap operas, wondering if Phil Mitchell will ever get off the crack or if Minty is going to pound the fat ugly one, when there are constructive things, like cleaning or ironing they could be doing instead. A clean house is happy house. I bet the fuc*wits they admire whilst flicking through "Hello" dont live in pigstyes.

[Mao Cap]

You chaps should get on that there "Mumsnet" or some similar site and start cutting loose with this sort of material.

 

Hilarity would ensue in the brief period before you's got banned

[Turkish]

You chaps should get on that there "Mumsnet" or some similar site and start cutting loose with this sort of material.

 

Hilarity would ensue in the brief period before you's got banned

 

If they've gto time to be on the internet p*ssing about, they've got time to complete their schedule on time.

[scotty]

this is political correctness gone mad.

[sticksaint]

My daughter read the original post and said "you can tell who`s not getting any" :-)

[Turkish]

My daughter read the original post and said "you can tell who`s not getting any" :-)

 

why is your daughter on the internet and not being trained by her mother? You need to inculcate these practices early in life to avoid inherent idleness later on.

Edited 28 September, 2010 by Turkish

[sticksaint]

why is your daughter on the internet and not being trained by her mother? You need to inculcate these practices early in life to avoid inherent idleness later on.

 

I`m afraid there`s no hope for her-i`m a househusband! Mum goes to work ;-)

[Turkish]

I`m afraid there`s no hope for her-i`m a househusband! Mum goes to work ;-)

 

 

You need to take this in hand now before it's too late. Get her trained quickly and explain that mum is one of those rare women who think they are equal or worse still, superior to men. Only swift action can save her from a lifetime of dilusion. On your head be it.

Edited 28 September, 2010 by Turkish

[sticksaint]

BTW turkish my daughter read your replies and said " he still hasn`t denied my accusation that he`s not getting any"

[saint_stevo]

Women are pretty low in the food chain.

 

Seen and not heard

[Turkish]

BTW turkish my daughter read your replies and said " he still hasn`t denied my accusation that he`s not getting any"

 

obviously she is going to grow up to be the type of woman that thinks that by denying her future partners sexual intimacy she is in some way showing her power and trying to control the relationship, no doubt a trait learned from her mother and you live in a house where the women rule, a house that will soon, if it is not already, will become riddled with bitterness and unhappiness due to exessive hormones and where pets are treated like gods and teddy bears and stuffed toy animals are the dominant feature of every room.

 

All real men know that sex is a reward for a woman when her behaviour and housework is of a suitable standard. For example, when the incumbent cooks one of favourite teas i will allow her to have sex with me in one of my favourite position. When she cooks one of my favourites teas and the cleaning passes that nights inspection, i will allow her to give me a blow job, when tea is truely excellent and she passes inspections for cooking, cleaning and ironing, her reward is anal. Obviously faliure to pass any inspections results in no rewards and fustrastion for them, but it does encourage improved performance the next day as no one likes a faliure.

Edited 29 September, 2010 by Turkish

[Special K]

I find that making a token effort with the duster (albeit under duress) generally results in getting a **** more likely.

[SNSUN]

When I moved in with my missus, we split the chores. I was to clean the lounge, dining room and bedrooms, and she was to do the bathroom, kitchen and stairs. She does the washing, I do the ironing (which I find cathartic), and we split the washing up.

 

A few weeks after moving in with her, I realised she has mild OCD, and my lazy gene kicked in (my worst trait tbf), and knowing she likes things spotless, knew she'd end up cleaning everything.

 

And she does. Not without the moaning though, but I do just enough washing up and ironing to avoid dumpage. The OCD is a bit of a bugger though, every Wii game, every DVD, every coaster is in its exact spot and if it's moved, even slightly, I get a bollocking.

[scotty]

When I moved in with my missus, we split the chores. I was to clean the lounge, dining room and bedrooms, and she was to do the bathroom, kitchen and stairs. She does the washing, I do the ironing (which I find cathartic), and we split the washing up.

 

A few weeks after moving in with her, I realised she has mild OCD, and my lazy gene kicked in (my worst trait tbf), and knowing she likes things spotless, knew she'd end up cleaning everything.

 

And she does. Not without the moaning though, but I do just enough washing up and ironing to avoid dumpage. The OCD is a bit of a bugger though, every Wii game, every DVD, every coaster is in its exact spot and if it's moved, even slightly, I get a bollocking.

 

 

if youve got that to put up with I hope shes good between the sheets.

[SNSUN]

if youve got that to put up with I hope shes good between the sheets.

 

Oh yes, as long as said sheets are smoothed out afterwards. :-)

[Turkish]

Oh yes, as long as said sheets are smoothed out afterwards. :-)

 

and no spunk dribbles onto them.

[Master Bates]

Being my dads fake house wife I can confirm that there are more than enough hours in the day, even to bake cakes and do gardening.

[Dog]

I have a polish housemaid, she comes twice a week and does nude housework for £10 an hour, and she has a fanny like a mouse's ear.

[The Cat]

I'm a stay at home dad too.

 

While I'm typing this I have a 19 month old boy trying to force my bank cards into my mouth. Maybe at some point later I'll waft the hoover vaguely round the front room. Washing is done, just debating whether to put it out because it might rain. In a minute I might have another cup of tea. Later I need to get some potatoes. After lunch my son will go to sleep which gives me a couple of hours to look at porn and smoke.

 

It's a tough life.

[The Cat]

Oh, and I agree. Any women that moan about how hard their life is at home are just big fat liars.

 

Yes sometimes the kids can be right little ****ers, but even then it beats going to work

[saint_bert]

Best thread ever.

[Turkish]

Best thread ever.

 

the only thing missing are a few lazy, opinionated feminists who think housework should be equal. Someone like Sue Whistle should make an appearance.

[Turkish]

Oh, and I agree. Any women that moan about how hard their life is at home are just big fat liars.

 

Yes sometimes the kids can be right little ****ers, but even then it beats going to work

 

It was their choice to get preganant and if they bring them up properly not pandering to their every whim then the kid soon learns how to behave.

[saint_bert]

the only thing missing are a few lazy, opinionated feminists who think housework should be equal. Someone like Sue Whistle should make an appearance.

 

Im getting quite fed up of women with a bit too much gob lately.

 

Yesterday at work, some bird told me I supported a sh*t football team. Then had the cheek to say the skates are better than us.

 

I then promptly told her to go do some washing up.

[Turkish]

Im getting quite fed up of women with a bit too much gob lately.

 

Yesterday at work, some bird told me I supported a sh*t football team. Then had the cheek to say the skates are better than us.

 

I then promptly told her to go do some washing up.

 

In that one, hormonal sentance, she has summed up why a womans opinion on football is irelevent.

[The Cat]

It was their choice to get preganant and if they bring them up properly not pandering to their every whim then the kid soon learns how to behave.

 

Like how your Mum brought you up?

[SNSUN]

and no spunk dribbles onto them.

No, it's easier for her to clean her face.

[Turkish]

Like how your Mum brought you up?

 

Exactly like that.

[The Cat]

Tell you what, it's crazy here. I put the washing out and then it started raining!! Would you believe that! So I had to get it in and put it on the rack. That's almost like doing 2 lots of washing, so I consoled myself with a sit down, cup of tea and a biscuit. Thought about watching Loose Women, but I prefer mine tight.

[ecuk268]

Why do women have small feet?

 

So they can stand closer to the sink.

[bridge too far]

Why do women have small feet?

 

So they can stand closer to the sink.

 

I thought it was so they could lie closer to their blokes' private parts.

[sticksaint]

obviously she is going to grow up to be the type of woman that thinks that by denying her future partners sexual intimacy she is in some way showing her power and trying to control the relationship, no doubt a trait learned from her mother and you live in a house where the women rule, a house that will soon, if it is not already, will become riddled with bitterness and unhappiness due to exessive hormones and where pets are treated like gods and teddy bears and stuffed toy animals are the dominant feature of every room.

 

All real men know that sex is a reward for a woman when her behaviour and housework is of a suitable standard. For example, when the incumbent cooks one of favourite teas i will allow her to have sex with me in one of my favourite position. When she cooks one of my favourites teas and the cleaning passes that nights inspection, i will allow her to give me a blow job, when tea is truely excellent and she passes inspections for cooking, cleaning and ironing, her reward is anal. Obviously faliure to pass any inspections results in no rewards and fustrastion for them, but it does encourage improved performance the next day as no one likes a faliure.

 

 

"you live in a house where women rule" Tell me about it.I live in a house with my wife and 2 daughters -i`ve got no chance !

[Turkish]

"you live in a house where women rule" Tell me about it.I live in a house with my wife and 2 daughters -i`ve got no chance !

 

and you expect to be taken seriously after admitting to that You're a disgrace man.

[suewhistle]

My daughter read the original post and said "you can tell who`s not getting any" :-)

 

Yes, I long ago came to the conclusion that Turkish is a w****r!

[Turkish]

Yes, I long ago came to the conclusion that Turkish is a w****r!

 

Hello sweetheart, i was hoping you'd join this thread, your intellegent input is just what is required to confirm my views on women. You'll still offering yourself on here to anyone that'll have you? Bless.

[Turkish]

I thought it was so they could lie closer to their blokes' private parts.

 

i thought it was so they could stand closer to their bloke when doing deep throat.

[for_heaven's_Saint]

The image of a house wife in my head is this one:

 

[JustMike]

I’ve never understood women complaining about how much they have to do. The ones that work get in from work on a ‘full day’ at around 5.45-6pm, if my incumbent is anything to go by. If they prepared tea/dinner/supper immediately on getting in this could be ready in a generous 45 minutes, by 6.30, giving them 15 minutes to eat it, then 15 minutes to collect the dishes and wash up (excluding the lucky ones whose man has brought them a dishwasher). If they put some washing in at 7pm and then started cleaning a room it’d surely take no more than one hour. Giving them another hour if needed to iron or do other chores as required. They'd be done by 9pm latest. Giving them an two hours to themselves for relaxation before getting themselves to bed to bed at a reasonable hour to maintain their looks or fulfill any sexual needs their man may have. Do this every night the house andtheir family will be clean and spotless and they'd feel fulfilled like all women need to be. All they need is better time management and less lazing around reading Hello, drinking wine and watching telly. As for the ones that work part time or dont work at all, well it's the life leisure for them, party time surely with all that spare time on their hands, they'd look like godesses only having to clean and cook for 3 hours a day and the rest of the time is theirs to look after themselves and their families.

 

going to put my neck on the line here and say.....try it yourself.

[Turkish]

going to put my neck on the line here and say.....try it yourself.

 

why? Why have a dog and bark yourself?

[bridge too far]

why? Why have a dog and bark yourself?

 

So you're saying your better half is a dog?

[sticksaint]

and you expect to be taken seriously after admitting to that You're a disgrace man.

 

 

Can`t stay and chat-got a pile of ironing to do!!

[Turkish]

So you're saying your better half is a dog?

 

how patronising is it describing someone as your other/better half? They are people in their own right, just lesser people.

[Liquidshokk]

I have a polish housemaid, she comes twice a week and does nude housework for £10 an hour, and she has a fanny like a mouse's ear.

 

Pmsl... Think I love you dog.

[Liquidshokk]

So you're saying your better half is a dog?

 

Rule 1

[Big John]

When it comes down to it men are better at housework anyway. That is why we make the best bosses.

 

We all know how horrible it is to work for a boss who hs never done the job themselves that is why a good mum also teaches her sons to do housework, it for the future benefit of their partners.

[Dr Who?]

I tell you what this was the best thread ever, and a shame that there was no more input to it!! CLASSIC!