A few things I am pondering...

[Sheaf Saint]

Which one is Ant and which one is Dec?

 

20 bloody years they have been on our TVs and I still don't have a clue.

[Kadeem Hardison]

When will Kadeem Hardison be allowed back on the main board?

[Doctoroncall]

Which one is Ant and which one is Dec?

 

20 bloody years they have been on our TVs and I still don't have a clue.

 

It's really not worth knowing.

[CB Saint]

Why do I bother?

[CB Saint]

Why do photocopiers and computers decide to go wrong when you have a deadline to meet?

[SNSUN]

If I go to a club with one toilet cubicle, and am desperate for a poo, and it is urine soaked with no bog seat and no toilet paper, can I sue the club for a breach of my human rights?

 

Does the lady that sells seas shells on the sea shore ever make any money, when sea shells can be picked up off the beach for free?

 

In these modern times, we have untold choices for entertainment, more TV channels than we could ever want, more channels online, Internet, PCs, Games Consoles, Books that are a dime a dozen, a wealth of DVD's that cost very little and othe entertainment platforms such as MP3/4 players. Why, then, am I still bored of an evening?

 

Am I more likely to be slapped in England or America if I ask a girl to let me see her fanny?

[SNSUN]

Is this a question

 

No, because of a lack of punctuation. In its present state, that broken sentence is nothing more than a statement.

[CB Saint]

If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

[JackFrost]

Which one is Ant and which one is Dec?

 

20 bloody years they have been on our TVs and I still don't have a clue.

 

95% of the time, Ant is always the one on the left

[John Boy Saint]

Why do stupid people put their fog lights on when its raining like Noahs back in a job and its dark. They are so dumb that they have no idea that those behind them have about 1% chance of seeing their brake lights come on.

 

Why does my mobile always go off when Iam standing at a urinal without a free hand.

[saint boggy]

Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?

[MongoNeil]

Why does it always rain on me?

[Quickfire Double]

What's the time, Mr Wolf?

 

Is there anybody in there?

 

Why do most people walk on the right on the Millennium Bridge?

[Hatch]

How do you find out if you have a nut allergy or not?

[hutch]

Why does John Boy Saint not have a free hand when he's standing at a urinal?

[Shroppie]

What is the difference between a duck?

[Marsdinho]

EDIT: Should read earlier posts.

Edited 22 September, 2010 by Marsdinho

[scott_saints]

Why am I ghey?

[Sheaf Saint]

Where do all the odd socks go when you lose them?

[bridge too far]

Why do men with huge bellies insist on going about shirtless?

[trousers]

Why do men with huge bellies insist on going about shirtless?

 

To make their wives look good? ;-)

[bridge too far]

To make their wives look good? ;-)

 

You're so sharp you'll cut yourself one day my lad

[Sheaf Saint]

What is the point of pigeons?

[Danish Saint]

What colour does a Smurf go, when we choke it?

[Marsdinho]

Is this a question

 

No, because of a lack of punctuation. In its present state, that broken sentence is nothing more than a statement.

 

But you've just answered it

Edited 22 September, 2010 by Marsdinho

[Hatch]

Where do all the paper clips go?

[SNSUN]

But you've just answered it

Bugger!

[Deano6]

1. What is the meaning of life?

2. Is there a God?

3. Do blondes have more fun?

4. What is the best diet?

5. Is there anybody out there?

6. Who is the most famous person in the world?

7. What is love?

8. What is the secret to happiness?

9. Did Tony Soprano die?

10. How long will I live?

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/technology-11368424

 

Baby don't hurt me. Don't hurt me, no More.

[Marsdinho]

Bugger!

 

I remember reading somewhere that there was once a question in the Oxford entry exam, which went.

 

Q: Is this a question

 

Apparently, one student answered.

 

A: If this is an answer.

 

I had totally forgotten about it until this thread came up. Im not sure if its an urban myth on not, but a quick google found some funny stuff.

 

I was raised on the urban legend of the Eton College entrance exam candidate who answered "What is courage?" with the words "This is"

 

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg19626290.900-is-this-a-question.html

 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/tag/philosophy/forum?cdThread=Tx3P7V2L66T1UH

Edited 22 September, 2010 by Marsdinho

[shurlock]

why do people find observational humour funny

[Danish Saint]

Another urban legend:

 

Exam question at written final: Describe laziness.

 

One student answered: T H I S I S L A Z Y!....one letter per page.

[JustMike]

why is the middle man from the betfair advert drinking milk?

[Mr Sparky]

Does the back of the queens head taste of glue ?

 

Why are lesbians in real life so undesirable ?

 

Are women liars when they say they do not masturbate ? ( i can take a guess)

[bridge too far]

why is the middle man from the betfair advert drinking milk?

 

Is the middle man from the Betfair advert Sam Allardyce's son?

[SO16_Saint]

Why do months seem to fly by yet pay days take ages to come around?

[SuperMikey]

Which one is Ant and which one is Dec?

 

20 bloody years they have been on our TVs and I still don't have a clue.

 

Ant always stands on the left, it's common knowledge ffs.

[Big John]

 

Why do most people walk on the right on the Millennium Bridge?

 

That must just happen to you as when I've walked across it most people walking toward me walk on the left!

[Hatch]

Ant always stands on the left, it's common knowledge ffs.

 

left of what? them or us.

[saint boggy]

Does the back of the queens head taste of glue ?

 

Why are lesbians in real life so undesirable ?

 

Are women liars when they say they do not masturbate ? ( i can take a guess)

i NEVER lie about whether i masturbate or not!.........

[Hatch]

Saint Boggy , Do you masturbate?.. ( rule 1 )

[SuperMikey]

She hasn't got any arms.

[SuperMikey]

And;

 

[saint boggy]

(rule 1??..yeh right!!! )

 

i dont ever tell anyone if i masturbate or not........hence i never have to lie!!

[Sheaf Saint]

Why is a grapefruit called a grapefruit when there is already a fruit called a grape?

[Joensuu]

How did the fox, in the building site opposite my office, get stuck on the 4th floor? And how did he managed to survive the fall from that height? And how come the RSPCA weren't interested in the slightest?

[Marsdinho]

Rare photo of Dec on the left.

 

[Marsdinho]

Are orphans allowed to watch PG movies?

[Hatch]

Do reflections in mirrors fade?

 

Can you line up a milllion mirrors and still see a decent reflection.

[Jones91]

Why do people try to look away from each other in lifts?

 

Which armrest is yours in the cinema?

[SuperMikey]

Rare photo of Dec on the left.

 

 

Ah, but the way they are facing, Ant is on the left. The photographer is on the wrong side.