supermarket Express checkouts

[Turkish]

are a brilliant idea, in theory. A stealth like ability to go to a shop that is always full of miserable sods and be in and out in a matter of seconds.

However what they dont bank on is the stupidity of people using them. Firstly, people lose the ability to count, a sign which clearly says no more than 20 items is totally ignored by either the thick or the desperate as they pile their mountain of frozen pizzas, burgers and cheap larger as high as possible. Then there is the look of fear on their faces at having to carry out the simple task of running their purchases over a screen and putting them in a bag, if they fail to do this, the checkout helpfully reminds them "please place in the bagging area" for some this is tantamount to an audition for Krypton factor, as they struggle to carry this out, a middle aged women bemoaning one of the staff that- "it's done that twice now" - yes love, because you didn't scan it in properly. And i dont want to even get started on the difficulty some face sticking their cards into the chip and pin machine and tapping in their pin number.

Supermarket express checkouts are a great idea, if its only me using them.

[Durleyfos]

Used one in Sainsbury's this morning.

 

They are fandabbydozy.

[RonManager]

I avoid supermarkets and shop 'expressly' with small traders.

[Hatch]

They make me cry.

[Saint-scooby]

When I finally find the barcode they are not too bad, I am still amazed how the women who do the assistant bit stay so calm..

[dune]

I'd never use one, i like the personal touch and getting an assistant to pack my bags.

[equalizer]

I'd never use one, i like the personal touch and getting an assistant to pack my bags.

 

Which is great unless you get stuck behind the old biddy who knows the checkout girl. "Oh I haven't seen you for three weeks!" Great now I've got to wait whilst you tell her all about your latest hospital appointment in startling detail, and who has died and and have you seen so and so, then just when you think it's over, out come the coupons. Yes the wad of death! Dozens of crumpled dog-eared money-off vouchers that now won't scan, so now we have to wait for the supervisor(who is already dealing with a similar problem on another checkout) to come over, attempt to scan said voucher and then give up, thus thwarting our aged friend from getting 2 pence off of a packet of wotsits!

 

(This post was based on a true story!)

[bridge too far]

I don't use them because I'd rather the supermarkets took on extra staff to deal with the queues.

 

But I can see that some people can't afford to waste 5 minutes of their lives waiting in line.

 

And if it means the 'old dears' can have possibly their only chat of the week, then that's all good.

[dune]

Which is great unless you get stuck behind the old biddy who knows the checkout girl. "Oh I haven't seen you for three weeks!" Great now I've got to wait whilst you tell her all about your latest hospital appointment in startling detail, and who has died and and have you seen so and so, then just when you think it's over, out come the coupons. Yes the wad of death! Dozens of crumpled dog-eared money-off vouchers that now won't scan, so now we have to wait for the supervisor(who is already dealing with a similar problem on another checkout) to come over, attempt to scan said voucher and then give up, thus thwarting our aged friend from getting 2 pence off of a packet of wotsits!

 

(This post was based on a true story!)

 

Worse still are the gimps who use their debit card to pay for a kit kat:x

[Toomer]

Worse still are the gimps who use their debit card to pay for a kit kat:x

 

And ask for cash back only to be declined happened to a spoty gimp in front of me last week.

[dubai_phil]

When I brought the Polish GF over to the UK went to Tesco's, got the shopping, told her to go pay for it at the Self Service Desk.

 

Oh how I lol'd.....

 

Obviously they don't have them here or in Polska and the look on her face - she actually believed me when I said they were the only way to pay and the other queues were for customer service.

 

The left hook to the ribcage was well worth it

[Redondo Saint]

Had them over here for a long time and they work well for the most part.

 

I am most surprised that the petrol pumps in Blighty are not yet changed to the self pay types - at least I have not seen one on my travels.

 

They are a true time saver.

[Turkish]

Which is great unless you get stuck behind the old biddy who knows the checkout girl. "Oh I haven't seen you for three weeks!" Great now I've got to wait whilst you tell her all about your latest hospital appointment in startling detail, and who has died and and have you seen so and so, then just when you think it's over, out come the coupons. Yes the wad of death! Dozens of crumpled dog-eared money-off vouchers that now won't scan, so now we have to wait for the supervisor(who is already dealing with a similar problem on another checkout) to come over, attempt to scan said voucher and then give up, thus thwarting our aged friend from getting 2 pence off of a packet of wotsits!

 

(This post was based on a true story!)

 

Yes, a simliar thing happened to me not so long ago, some women in her 70's moaning to me and then the checkout girl about why they didn't have certain product in stock, cant remember what it was, denture cleaners probably and she can only get out here once a week you know, oh i am going to complain, who do i complain too? Oh FFS i dont give a F*CK!!!

[Weston Super Saint]

Some of you need to calm down a bit, if these are the things that upset you!

 

Have you thought about ordering all your grocery needs online? That way you don't have to associate with the great unwashed, no tills / checkout girls / pensioners / chavs or pikies to worry about, and you don't have to drive, so don't get stuck in traffic jams.

 

Amazon is an absolute godsend imho, no need to ever go to West Quay again, no queues, no screaming kids and no retarded salespeople asking to help you as soon as you cross the threshold of their pokey little shops.

[JustMike]

Some of you need to calm down a bit, if these are the things that upset you!

 

Have you thought about ordering all your grocery needs online? That way you don't have to associate with the great unwashed, no tills / checkout girls / pensioners / chavs or pikies to worry about, and you don't have to drive, so don't get stuck in traffic jams.

 

Amazon is an absolute godsend imho, no need to ever go to West Quay again, no queues, no screaming kids and no retarded salespeople asking to help you as soon as you cross the threshold of their pokey little shops.

 

ahhh yes the online grocery shopping, again a brilliant concept but have you seen the state of the people that actually go around the store collecting the items you ordered!?

 

Some examples I have experienced....

 

1kg bag of penne pasta - I got rice!

 

fairy washing up liquid - I got persil dishwasher tablets

 

dont even get me started on the sub items!!!

[dune]

How ****ing annoying is it when you assess the queues and get in the shortest only for a new till to open and some **** from behind moves to the new till and gets served first.

[JustMike]

How ****ing annoying is it when you assess the queues and get in the shortest only for a new till to open and some **** from behind moves to the new till and gets served first.

 

or, you move to a shorter queue only to get stuck behind the voucher family!!

[CB Saint]

Which is the worst supermarket around here? Asda in Chandlers Ford has to be up there and Sainsbury's in hedge end had me feeling particularly murderous within a couple of minutes.

[Huffton]

I think you should be given a discount for using them, after all you are doing their job for them.

[dune]

or, you move to a shorter queue only to get stuck behind the voucher family!!

 

Or worse still, the ultimate slob family with every item from the reduced to clear shelf with the labels that need peeling off.

[St Landrew]

I started using them because I just wanted to make sure I could, during any awkward moment, where there might be hundreds of people at the normal checkouts. Trouble is, whatever shopping I buy, there's always an item which needs staff approval [or whatever you call it, alcohol wise]. I like them, but I'd rather have a normal checkout. Of course, it's the thin end of the wedge. In years to come, we'll be doing all the checking through, but overseen by CCTV and security.

 

Perhaps it's time to go back to the corner shop and sod the supermarket..!

[Whitey Grandad]

I am most surprised that the petrol pumps in Blighty are not yet changed to the self pay types - at least I have not seen one on my travels.

 

There are plenty of them about now. I think there's a gradual programme of updating the pumps. It means that they can reduce the staff at the tills.

[RedAndWhite91]

I work in a Tesco, the impatience of some people is amusing.

 

One bloke was buying a Pink, he put his 50p in the coupon slot (pretty bloody obvious the slot isn't for coins). My mate told him he'd get the manager down as he had the keys to open up the machine, said he wouldn't be long. After about 30 seconds, the bloke turns to my colleague and says "You haven't even called the manager, have you" even though it was clear he did, he threw the paper at him and said "You can keep your bloody 50p" and stormed out the shop. Manager was down about 30 seconds after. What a plank.

[Beachcombers Windowsill]

I used one once. I bought a Snickers. Lovely it was.

[lettuce]

The ones in Sainsbury's aren't so bad. It's the ones in B&Q make that me laugh, watching someone trying to manouevre 2 fence panels and a bag of cement into the "bagging area"!

 

Fast-track at Sainsbury's is the best... you get to go round the shop with a little hand scanner, pretending to be a traffic cop.

 

"Yes Sarge, I've just clocked an old dear doing 35 in the fruit'n'veg aisle"

[1576]

Won't be using the new one at Sainsburys Hedge End (it's a proper checkout not just for a quick purchase) until I get a discount for doing their job for them. I'm also getting annoyed with the amount of people getting in the way doing peoples online shopping, go and by your own stuff like the rest of us - lazy ****s.

[dune]

I work in a Tesco.

 

I would put you down as a cheese counter type, am I correct?

[Rusty]

The ones in Sainsbury's aren't so bad. It's the ones in B&Q make that me laugh, watching someone trying to manouevre 2 fence panels and a bag of cement into the "bagging area"!

 

Fast-track at Sainsbury's is the best... you get to go round the shop with a little hand scanner, pretending to be a traffic cop.

 

"Yes Sarge, I've just clocked an old dear doing 35 in the fruit'n'veg aisle"

Same with the Waitrose ones, pretty useful.

[JackFrost]

There are plenty of them about now. I think there's a gradual programme of updating the pumps. It means that they can reduce the staff at the tills.

 

I think there's quite a few supermarkets/petrol stations that don't like them because it was found a lot of the self pay pumps are vulnerable to chip & pin scams.

 

A friend of mine was telling me that at one point, 60% of customers that had reported fraudulent transactions to the HSBC branch in Waterlooville had recently bought fuel at Morrisons petrol station in Horndean.

 

As for express checkouts, it depends what you have really. They are very handy in some circumstances but it depends how busy the supermarket is at the time. The one that irritates me is when you get in the shortest queue behind 1 person who has done the weekly shop, almost all the items get scanned through, and then the husband/daughter arrives with an armful of stuff and plonks it down. Just as you think the wait is over. . . .

[jawillwill]

I quite like the self service checkouts, usually get me through pretty quickly. Only problem is they sometimes don't accept my all vouchers/coupons and theres not always somebody there to assist me when I use my debit card. They need to make it clearer which way round you insert it into the slot and tell me when to enter my pin. Asked for a tenner cashback once too and walked off afterwards forgetting to collect it. Technology is ****.

[JackFrost]

The ones in Sainsbury's aren't so bad. It's the ones in B&Q make that me laugh, watching someone trying to manouevre 2 fence panels and a bag of cement into the "bagging area"!

 

Fast-track at Sainsbury's is the best... you get to go round the shop with a little hand scanner, pretending to be a traffic cop.

 

"Yes Sarge, I've just clocked an old dear doing 35 in the fruit'n'veg aisle"

 

I'm surprised they still have those, because of the sheer bulk of a lot of the goods they became not only awkward to use but people actually got away with nicking ridiculously big things which the stores didn't bother tagging because they thought they could never be nicked.

 

I once met a bloke who managed to nick an entire flat pack garden shed out of a B&Q.

[dubai_phil]

I think there's quite a few supermarkets/petrol stations that don't like them because it was found a lot of the self pay pumps are vulnerable to chip & pin scams.

 

A friend of mine was telling me that at one point, 60% of customers that had reported fraudulent transactions to the HSBC branch in Waterlooville had recently bought fuel at Morrisons petrol station in Horndean.

 

As for express checkouts, it depends what you have really. They are very handy in some circumstances but it depends how busy the supermarket is at the time. The one that irritates me is when you get in the shortest queue behind 1 person who has done the weekly shop, almost all the items get scanned through, and then the husband/daughter arrives with an armful of stuff and plonks it down. Just as you think the wait is over. . . .

 

In Cyber Crime circles, the organisation you mentioned is one that appears to be having allegedly more problems with security in their card reader area than any others.

 

Chip & Pin, great... Unless you are a foreigner where such technology is not used/enforced

 

The number of times I get a shop assistant doing the open mouthed "what do I do with this" look when I give them my ME "old fashioned style" credit card

[RedAndWhite91]

I would put you down as a cheese counter type, am I correct?

 

Er, why? I work in a small store, I have to do all aspects of the joyous world of supermarket work.

[Barney Trubble]

We are becoming a nation of thick, lazy thinking idiots. There are so many layers to the underlcasses now that it's beyond repair, It will only get worse, unless you have enough money to live in an affluent area or abroad, even in the affluent areas though the class structure is going downhill, so even the rich are adopting the traits of the lazy underclass.

 

There is another level of underclass,snotty-nosed, lazy, too half-soaked to learn common sense who will have their asses wiped for them by the state until they can't think for themselves or think that the state is responsible for feeding them, these brats are in primary schools all across the UK, they will be worse then their parents and their parents before them.

 

The civil war is about twenty-years away. Be prepared, it will happen.....get out now before it brings you down with it.

[dune]

The civil war is about twenty-years away. Be prepared, it will happen.....get out now before it brings you down with it.

 

I don't think it's that close, but given a few more incompetent Socialist governments like we had from 1997-2010 it won't be long before the conditions are in place.

[dune]

Er, why? I work in a small store, I have to do all aspects of the joyous world of supermarket work.

 

Was joking.

[RedAndWhite91]

Was joking.

 

Ohhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha what?

[dune]

Ohhhh hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha what?

 

Can I change my mind, you're clearly the fat/spotty/ginger 18 year old in the blazer that is found on the cigarette counter in every store.

[RedAndWhite91]

Can I change my mind, you're clearly the fat/spotty/ginger 18 year old in the blazer that is found on the cigarette counter in every store.

 

I am neither fat, spotty, nor ginger, and I'm 19, keep guessing!

[Redondo Saint]

I work in a Tesco, the impatience of some people is amusing.

 

One bloke was buying a Pink, he put his 50p in the coupon slot (pretty bloody obvious the slot isn't for coins). My mate told him he'd get the manager down as he had the keys to open up the machine, said he wouldn't be long. After about 30 seconds, the bloke turns to my colleague and says "You haven't even called the manager, have you" even though it was clear he did, he threw the paper at him and said "You can keep your bloody 50p" and stormed out the shop. Manager was down about 30 seconds after. What a plank.

 

Was his name Turkish or Dune?

[Redondo Saint]

In Cyber Crime circles, the organisation you mentioned is one that appears to be having allegedly more problems with security in their card reader area than any others.

 

Chip & Pin, great... Unless you are a foreigner where such technology is not used/enforced

 

The number of times I get a shop assistant doing the open mouthed "what do I do with this" look when I give them my ME "old fashioned style" credit card

 

Yep! KNow that feeling.

[SNSUN]

Supermarkets drive me mental. It is for this reason that the missus and I do a monthly shop instead of a weekly shop. Bread, milk and fruit are purchased from the convenience mart down our road, the rest gets chucked in the freezer and cupboards.

[SNSUN]

I quite like the self service checkouts, usually get me through pretty quickly. Only problem is they sometimes don't accept my all vouchers/coupons and theres not always somebody there to assist me when I use my debit card. They need to make it clearer which way round you insert it into the slot and tell me when to enter my pin. Asked for a tenner cashback once too and walked off afterwards forgetting to collect it. Technology is ****.

 

Not with cashback, but I once lost £100, used a cash machine, withdrew a ton, took my card back and walked out. Ten minutes later I was stood at the bar of the pub, looking in my wallet and wondering where my ficking money was. I've never run so fast back to the cash machine but alas it was gone. Someone said that after 30 seconds it gets swallowed back in again, but I never got it credited to my account, so some lucky bastard must've had an excellent night.

 

Ok, not technology's fault, but I hate technology so I give it the blame.