The Day You Took The Mrs....

[Noodles34]

I've never done her up the arse, but I let her put a finger up my bum once.

 

then you sucked her finger yeah.... did it taste like chocolate?

[Super_Uwe]

My wife hates football, and did so when she was just my girlfriend.

 

I remember the game well as it was a crock of s****, a 1-0 defeat at home to Sheff Utd in 2005/6. It was freezing cold as well (below freezing anyway), Neil Shipperley played that night and was throwing his considerable frame around, and it was gash.

 

To top it off I also accidentally kicked her when leaping out of my seat to berate Rory Delap for spooning his 645th shot into row GG (or whatever the highest one is).

 

I doubt I could have ever convinced her that football was any good, but I succeeded in making it worse. A top effort I think you will agree.

[scotty]

then you sucked her finger yeah.... did it taste like chocolate?

 

youre assuming it was her finger. Textbook error, imo; Deano6 only referred to a finger.

[Turkish]

My wife hates football, and did so when she was just my girlfriend.

 

I remember the game well as it was a crock of s****, a 1-0 defeat at home to Sheff Utd in 2005/6. It was freezing cold as well (below freezing anyway), Neil Shipperley played that night and was throwing his considerable frame around, and it was gash.

 

To top it off I also accidentally kicked her when leaping out of my seat to berate Rory Delap for spooning his 645th shot into row GG (or whatever the highest one is).

 

I doubt I could have ever convinced her that football was any good, but I succeeded in making it worse. A top effort I think you will agree.

 

I admire your sentiments and you have achieved considerable success in putting her off for life, i just wonder if this same result could have been achieved without having to endure her at a game, although you did get to kick her and pretend it was an accident, so that is some sort of recompense.

[Ozkeith2]

Took my first serious GF to Saints first game back in the first division in about 79/80, we stood under the scoreboard in the West stand/ Archers corner. If memory serves me correctly it was Bolton Wanderers, 2-2, & Ivan Golac's first home game. It was (probably) her first football match & started her on a lifelong love affair with the mighty Saints (our love, maybe sadly, didn't last as long). I understand she is now NI's better half (oh, & a note for Turkish - she was (is) smart, cute & did not fit your b***sh#t stereotypes).

Would you really wish a lifetime of the trials, tributlations & downright pain on someone you cared for?

 

First game for second serious GF was 3-1 vs West Ham, Steve Williams scored a (rare) screamer from about 30 yards. I don't know what she's doing now.

 

The wife has never been to a Saints game & has dragged me to the other side of the planet. Even when we visited last year, she chose the spend game time with my mother (!!!!!!!). She does, however keep me supplied with official & unofficial merchandise for birthdays & christmas.

[Turkish]

Took my first serious GF to Saints first game back in the first division in about 79/80, we stood under the scoreboard in the West stand/ Archers corner. If memory serves me correctly it was Bolton Wanderers, 2-2, & Ivan Golac's first home game. It was (probably) her first football match & started her on a lifelong love affair with the mighty Saints (our love, maybe sadly, didn't last as long). I understand she is now NI's better half (oh, & a note for Turkish - she was (is) smart, cute & did not fit your b***sh#t stereotypes).

Would you really wish a lifetime of the trials, tributlations & downright pain on someone you cared for?

 

First game for second serious GF was 3-1 vs West Ham, Steve Williams scored a (rare) screamer from about 30 yards. I don't know what she's doing now.

 

The wife has never been to a Saints game & has dragged me to the other side of the planet. Even when we visited last year, she chose the spend game time with my mother (!!!!!!!). She does, however keep me supplied with official & unofficial merchandise for birthdays & christmas.

 

Congratulations on your choice of wife, obviously learnt from past mistakes and married a proper women. Other posters on here look and learn.

[Fan The Flames]

I took a bird once to the Dell, living out of the area I didn't get to the Dell much, MLT ran towards where we were standing and I said a lot of people think I look like MLT and just as I finished saying it everyone started chanting 'ugly, ugly, ugly'. I didn't see much of her after that. I now look like a fat MLT whose had a nose job and my wife says she's an Arsenal fan but doesn't know her Arsenal from her elbow and I like it that way.

[scott_saints]

Any man who counts themselves as part of "us decent blokes" is ghey. Fact.

[West End Saint]

My Mrs wanted to go to a game to see what all the fuss was about and why I spend so much time going to games and watching it on telly.

 

So I begrudgingly took her to see us play Norwich we won 4 3 Camera with the last minute wonder goal winner 1 of the best games if not THE best game I have seen at St Marys and she still didnt get what it was all about. All I can say is thank f*ck for that now the question dosent come up and I go footy with my mates and all is well in my world.

[The Cat]

Taken mine to 3 games. One was the worst game I've ever seen, a 0-0 vs West Ham at the Dell in the mid 90's when I don't think either team had a shot on target. The second was shortly after that and we lost 1-0 at home to Villa when Savo Milosovic scored.

 

Also took her to Anfield for a New Year's day game. Traveled up on New Year's Eve through blizzards and hail only to get to Liverpool and find the city pretty much shut due to the minging weather. Luckily the game wasn't called off. We lost 2-1. Soltvedt scored. Gerrard also scored a 25 yard thunderbolt which my missus has no recollection of. All she remembers about the game was the Saints fans singing "Emile Heskey what a w*nk*r" after he had a scuffle in front of us with Claus. To this day every time she hears him mentioned she says "oh he's the w*nk*r one".

[ericofarabia]

Took my first serious GF to Saints first game back in the first division in about 79/80, we stood under the scoreboard in the West stand/ Archers corner. If memory serves me correctly it was Bolton Wanderers, 2-2, & Ivan Golac's first home game. It was (probably) her first football match & started her on a lifelong love affair with the mighty Saints (our love, maybe sadly, didn't last as long). I understand she is now NI's better half (oh, & a note for Turkish - she was (is) smart, cute & did not fit your b***sh#t stereotypes).

Would you really wish a lifetime of the trials, tributlations & downright pain on someone you cared for?

 

First game for second serious GF was 3-1 vs West Ham, Steve Williams scored a (rare) screamer from about 30 yards. I don't know what she's doing now.

 

The wife has never been to a Saints game & has dragged me to the other side of the planet. Even when we visited last year, she chose the spend game time with my mother (!!!!!!!). She does, however keep me supplied with official & unofficial merchandise for birthdays & christmas.

 

Hey Keith ..... if you ever fly with Emirates via Dubai on your travels let me know. It would be great to see you again.

 

Saw Owen a few weeks ago, and wisely I don't think he has taken Berni to any games (keeping this post on track!!) . Dont think she'd let him go again!! Saw NI and K at the start of season and usually manage to bump into steaming Dave A as well. Cheers E

[latter day saint]

my missus loathes football & will never go to a game with me.

the only time she has been to St.Marys was we took the nipper to the open training session when the Dutch where in charge.

after 10 mins she was bending my ear about wanting to leave. job done !

[The9]

Also took her to Anfield for a New Year's day game. Traveled up on New Year's Eve through blizzards and hail only to get to Liverpool and find the city pretty much shut due to the minging weather. Luckily the game wasn't called off. We lost 2-1. Soltvedt scored. Gerrard also scored a 25 yard thunderbolt which my missus has no recollection of.

 

Spooky, must be the match for it. Have to say Gerrard's goal didn't look much "kop" (ahaha) from the front of the stand at the opposite end of the ground either, was much better on the telly later.

[The9]

I begrudgingly took her to see us play Norwich we won 4 3 Camera with the last minute wonder goal winner 1 of the best games if not THE best game I have seen at St Marys and she still didnt get what it was all about. All I can say is thank f*ck for that now the question dosent come up and I go footy with my mates and all is well in my world.

 

You should be shot for wasting a valuable ticket to that match on a non-believer.

 

My wife is an ST holder in the seat next to me, comes to the pub before and after home matches, goes to away matches whenever I do, has pitched up at Staplewood on occasion, plus comes along to watch the Sunday side I player-manage and occasionally our training too.

 

If we weren't married I'd have her down as some kind of stalker.

[West End Saint]

You should be shot for wasting a valuable ticket to that match on a non-believer.

 

My wife is an ST holder in the seat next to me, comes to the pub before and after home matches, goes to away matches whenever I do, has pitched up at Staplewood on occasion, plus comes along to watch the Sunday side I player-manage and occasionally our training too.

 

If we weren't married I'd have her down as some kind of stalker.

 

Its a fair cop it was a waste of a ticket but at least some good came of it and I never have to take her again.

 

You should qualify for some sort of medal spending that much time with your Mrs each to there own but it would do my head in I am very glad mine hates football and sport in genral.

[Jackie@home]

Took my husband to watch us lose 1-0 to Derby in 1989. (Dean Sauinders scored). He bought season tickets the same week and is still going, but lately has moaned that some of the games are boring and he would be better playing golf. He's missed a few games lately and has been assured by the guys around us in the Kingsland that they will look after me - he gave me a suspicious look. A few weeks ago he took his daughter to Babies r us whilst I went to the Reading friendly. Last Saturday he ironed his shirts when I went to Swindon. Some of us have got it right.

[Turkish]

Took my husband to watch us lose 1-0 to Derby in 1989. (Dean Sauinders scored). He bought season tickets the same week and is still going, but lately has moaned that some of the games are boring and he would be better playing golf. He's missed a few games lately and has been assured by the guys around us in the Kingsland that they will look after me - he gave me a suspicious look. A few weeks ago he took his daughter to Babies r us whilst I went to the Reading friendly. Last Saturday he ironed his shirts when I went to Swindon. Some of us have got it right.

 

Is he a closet Homosexual?

[Smirking_Saint]

You should be shot for wasting a valuable ticket to that match on a non-believer.

 

My wife is an ST holder in the seat next to me, comes to the pub before and after home matches, goes to away matches whenever I do, has pitched up at Staplewood on occasion, plus comes along to watch the Sunday side I player-manage and occasionally our training too.

 

If we weren't married I'd have her down as some kind of stalker.

 

I'd have no trouble with the wife coming to the odd St Marys games, but away days are strictly off limits.

 

I think Sunday mornings are safe for the girlfriends to turn up, our lot turn up and make tea/cofee and bacon baps for us, so can't argue. Not that i will be playing much Sunday league anymore, when fit again i am moving back into Saturdays.

 

But training ??? Really ?

[Jackie@home]

Definitely not! I must say you sound very peculiar - don't know why you want a girlfriend if you really hate women as much as you claim. You can always pay for sex and save the aggro of actually sharing women's company if it is that offensive to you.

[Turkish]

Definitely not! I must say you sound very peculiar - don't know why you want a girlfriend if you really hate women as much as you claim. You can always pay for sex and save the aggro of actually sharing women's company if it is that offensive to you.

 

I dont hate all women, just there is a time and a place for them. I mean, look what happened to the British Empire as soon as we let them get the vote, a steady decline into the shambles we have seen today. It's no wonder when 50% of the votes at every election are decided on if its jam wrag time or which policitican wears the nicest tie.

[LA77]

Turkish, what are your thoughts on blokes being dragged along to Robbie williams concerts, or dragged along to watch X factor? Like a reversal of this thread.

[Turkish]

Turkish, what are your thoughts on blokes being dragged along to Robbie williams concerts, or dragged along to watch X factor? Like a reversal of this thread.

 

The sort of bloke that likes X-factor is the sort of bloke that takes women to football, a complete soppy goon who is probably a closet homosexual. men should not attend these things, if a woman does not a friend she can watch these things with then she should be instantly dumped as she is either incredibly insecure and thinks she is either to ugly, miserable and sad too have friends or a complete bi*ch that all women would hate and will only ending up f*cking someone else behind her hen pecked boyfriends back. By getting rid of them then, he is saving himself a whole world of pain later on. No self repecting man would go to this sort of event and no worthwhile girlfriend would expect it.

Edited 15 September, 2010 by Turkish

[LA77]

The sort of bloke that likes X-factor is the sort of bloke that takes women to football, a complete soppy goon who is probably a closet homosexual. men should not attend these things, if a woman does not a friend she can watch these things with then she should be instantly dumped as she is either incredibly insecure and thinks she is either to ugly, miserable and sad to have friends or a complete bi*ch that all women would hate and will only ending up f*cking someone else behind her hen pecked boyfriends back. By getting rid of them then he is saving himself a whole world of pain later on. No self repecting man would go to this sort of event and no worthwhile girlfriend would expect it.

 

Brilliant sir

[JRM]

Turkish mate, you would absolutely love England home games at Wembley nowadays, almost the entire crowd is "couples" who have painted a st georges cross on each cheek and spend a lot of time taking pictures of each other both inside and outside the ground.

With the non-existent atmosphere in the ground these matches are truly depressing places to be now, and exemplify how sad and boring modern football has become. .

[LA77]

Another thing that winds me up is when women phone/text during the match. The ones that are not with them at the match but feel the need to annoy. Obviously it should be ignored, but some blokes pander to them. It is always a pointless call/text as well, just because she hates the thought that he might be enjoying himself whilst she is doing nothing at home and is fed up with flicking her bean. These are the same type that try and do all they can to stop the man from going to a game. I.E, try and organise a kids party, or try and make him take the kids swimming at the very same time Saints are playing.

[Turkish]

Turkish mate, you would absolutely love England home games at Wembley nowadays, almost the entire crowd is "couples" who have painted a st georges cross on each cheek and spend a lot of time taking pictures of each other both inside and outside the ground.

With the non-existent atmosphere in the ground these matches are truly depressing places to be now, and exemplify how sad and boring modern football has become. .

 

Hence why i have never been to an England game since Wembley was rebuilt. I think the plasticness of the modern fan should be dubbed Adrian Childs syndrome, he is the classic example of the sort of soft, soppy ***** that attends matches these days, usually with his bird, wearing a shirt and sometimes face paints. This sort of man is in many cases worse than women, they dont know any better and might think they are doing the right thing, but its down to the man to remind them of their place and that they are not welcome at football and should stick to X-factor, when their men are not home or busy doing something else.

[Turkish]

Another thing that winds me up is when women phone/text during the match. The ones that are not with them at the match but feel the need to annoy. Obviously it should be ignored, but some blokes pander to them. It is always a pointless call/text as well, just because she hates the thought that he might be enjoying himself whilst she is doing nothing at home and is fed up with flicking her bean. These are the same type that try and do all they can to stop the man from going to a game. I.E, try and organise a kids party, or try and make him take the kids swimming at the very same time Saints are playing.

 

This type of man deserves all he gets, pandering in fear that he'll upset his jealous, moody bird, paranoid that she'll run off with someone else if he doesn't bow to her every whim. Personally i think these sort of men deserve to be cheated on, if they are so pathetic that they jump everytime his haughty tart clicks her fingers then she'll soon become bored with him, it's no challenge, she is in control, and women being in control of anything always spells disaster.

[ericofarabia]

Marjorie Proops eat your heart out.

 

Remember back in the day, we used to have Ask JB threads when anyone wanted any travel info? Well I think its time for Turkish's Marriage Guidance sessions.

 

Here is Session # 1

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SjxY9rZwNGU