Hope for Dave Benson Phillips!!!

[Turkish]

All is not lost DBP!! I have found this little site for you where people like you, you know, fat, useless losers, can find likeminded people to eat cream cakes with. You never know, you might even get to empty your sack into one of these little beauties, provided your c*ck is long enough to battle through the layers of fat covering their m*nge.

 

Happy pulling pal.

 

http://www.largefriends.com/

Edited 31 July, 2010 by Turkish

[Dave Benson Phillips]

I was MASSIVELY on form last night... you will notice my facebook has had a sudden surge of birds added as friends ( they added me ) last night. Top banana.

[Turkish]

I was MASSIVELY on form last night... you will notice my facebook has had a sudden surge of birds added as friends ( they added me ) last night. Top banana.

 

which is all they ever want to be......

[Thedelldays]

I bet he accepts their "friend request" whilst out...probably whilst with them...probably insists that they become "facebook friends" which would have been very uncomfortable for the girl...

 

he will probably be a victim of a friend cull later in the week

[Dave Benson Phillips]

I bet he accepts their "friend request" whilst out...probably whilst with them...probably insists that they become "facebook friends" which would have been very uncomfortable for the girl...

 

he will probably be a victim of a friend cull later in the week

 

Jealousy will get you nowhere. Turkish will be the first to admit that for a fat ****, I have the ability to pull some immesley fit birds.

 

And one of them last night was actually a victim of my friend cull previously, but literally begged to be accepted again.

 

One day you might be as cool as me.

[MINIBARCELONASAINT]

I was once cool as the fonz was.

[MINIBARCELONASAINT]

I was once cool as the fonz was.

 

I once was cool as the fonz was*

[Turkish]

Jealousy will get you nowhere. Turkish will be the first to admit that for a fat ****, I have the ability to pull some immesley fit birds.

 

And one of them last night was actually a victim of my friend cull previously, but literally begged to be accepted again.

 

One day you might be as cool as me.

 

You certainly do tend to punch above your weight if what you say is true. I have no proof that you have "slammed" any of the women you claim to have, just your word for it. However, what concearns me and should concearn you greatly, is that you only 'slam' them once. Which leads to me conclude it is either bullsh*t or one or more of the following 1/ you are not very good at it 2/ the sight of you big fat white, spotty arse bouncing up and down on them reviles them so much they never want you anywhere near them again 3/ your BO problem means the smell of you turns their stomach & 4/ a symapthy **** is just that, which is why they only do it once.

[Dave Benson Phillips]

Turkish. Now now, jealously will get you nowhere as well. Apart from the skate finishing with me ( only to beg for me back within days ) I have the proud record of never being dumped.

[Turkish]

Turkish. Now now, jealously will get you nowhere as well. Apart from the skate finishing with me ( only to beg for me back within days ) I have the proud record of never being dumped.

 

What about the one that dumped you on the sunday night after top gear, you know the one who you reakon dumped her boyfriend to be with you, only to dump you the next day. That is two in three days.

[Dave Benson Phillips]

What about the one that dumped you on the sunday night after top gear, you know the one who you reakon dumped her boyfriend to be with you, only to dump you the next day. That is two in three days.

 

That doesn't count, she came crawling back within hours.

 

Women underestimate just what a catch I am... a few hours away from me and they soon realise their mistakes and come back with the begging bowl.

[RonManager]

That doesn't count, she came crawling back within hours.

 

Women underestimate just what a catch I am... a few hours away from me and they soon realise their mistakes and come back with the begging bowl.

 

Is this some precious family heirloom which you cannot bear to be without? Well, if so, why do you let them go home with it in the first place?

[Turkish]

That doesn't count, she came crawling back within hours.

 

Women underestimate just what a catch I am... a few hours away from me and they soon realise their mistakes and come back with the begging bowl.

 

So what happened to her? I thought she was the one you were keen on? But then when she dumped you all of a sudden the Skate was, and then mysteriously she is no longer in the picture.

 

Dont worry mate, you dont have to prove anything to me, you just keep living the dream.

[JackFrost]

Edited 22 August, 2010 by JackFrost

[1976_Child]

fat people should be shot. they should just ****ing well eat less. Coming home from the game on saturday on the train and this girl, no more than 16 years old waddled on at Fareham. She must have been over 20 stone. She was eating a burger and was wearing a very old purple flannel tracksuit. I looked around for the cameras to see if Little Britain was filming a sketch, but no she was a genuine fad lardy pikey chav waste of dna. How the heck could her parents let her get in that way? More than likely because her mum is near 40 stone, smokes 60 fags a day and only leaves the council flat when she has to sign on. ****ing disgrace some people in this country. Like I say, fat people should be shot. There is no excuse, if they can't stop stuffing food into their face they should not be allowed to continue to breathe.

Edited 23 August, 2010 by 1976_Child

[Special K]

fat people should be shot. they should just ****ing well eat less. Coming home from the game on saturday on the train and this girl, no more than 16 years old waddled on at Fareham. She must have been over 20 stone. She was eating a burger and was wearing a very old purple flannel tracksuit. I looked around for the cameras to see if Little Britain was filming a sketch, but no she was a genuine fad lardy pikey chav waste of dna. How the heck could her parents let her get in that way? More than likely because her mum is near 40 stone, smokes 60 fags a day and only leaves the council flat when she has to sign on. ****ing disgrace some people in this country. Like I say, fat people should be shot. There is no excuse, if they can't stop stuffing food into their face they should not be allowed to continue to breathe.

 

.... and that was a party political broadcast on behalf of the "Stop Dave Benson Phillips Procreating" Party.

 

Now on BBC2, we present the comedy "Dave Benson Philips Ate My Burger" which sees an "on-form" Dave trying to chat up women, but falling time after time for the the oldest trick in the book when they want to get rid of him. All this before the dawn of realisation kicks him square in the love handles and he ends up going down on the clammiest, filthiest, grottiest flange he can find, only to tell his mates the day after that she "was a stunna".