hamster Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 (edited) Cortese has converted the directors box and is building a huge throne so he can sit and gaze over his minions on match days whilst waving car parking passes, hospitality vouchers without legends names on and missing matchday programmes in a mocking manner. He already owns a thone, a massive gold one, weighs about a ton. It was a gift from a village chief in Africa for his work in getting a fresh water well dug when he did some charity work before entering the world of banking. Cortse obviously couldn't take it home with him so the chief agreed to store it in the roofspace of his hut ready for Nicola to collect once he had made his mark and had somewhere suitable to put it. The neighbouring tribal leader heard tell that the village had given away the prized item and he was incensed as it had previously been given to them as a wedding gift at a ceremony that joined the two villages through marriage following decades of constant warring. The rival chief called a meeting at which he planned to voice his dis-satisfaction and reclaim ownership. A delegation was sent and the hosts laid on a feast. The evening began quite well, good food, lots of alcohol and music and all present danced into the night, including the two chiefs and their many wives. the dancing grew more and more energetic and the ground was vibrating with the stamping of feet and banging of drums, when all of a sudden there was a cataclysmic crash as the throne fell throught the ceiling, it's full weight crushing the visiting chief and two of his wives to death, the party was over and a fight broke out which saw the resumption of the wars between the tribes, many men from both villages died and to this day the UN has to maintain a peace-keeping presence in the area. The moral of this story is of course that...people in grass houses shouldn't stow thrones. Edited 4 July, 2010 by hamster Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CHAPEL END CHARLIE Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 What I do know is the club do monitor these boards very closely. And mightily bored they'd be . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Switching from Eco Wipe to Andrex ? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mancsaint Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 David Luker had the full blueprint for this system and quote a couple of years ago, and was something he wanted to introduce as there was a very quick payback in postage alone and administration costs of tickets are next to nothing ( lol @ booking fee if this is the case ) FC Basel have an entry system of automated manless turnstiles, Your ticket has a barcode on it and it is credit card size. Must save a fortune. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doggface Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 And mightily bored they'd be . Payback for season 08/09 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paulwantsapint Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Switching from Eco Wipe to Andrex ? Possibly using old copies of the Echo with pictures of old much loved on here chairman rupert lowe Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sadoldgit Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 My money is on Nicola Cortese becoming our Director of Football. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Switching from Eco Wipe to Andrex ? Yep. We have a winner (my arse) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Switching from Eco Wipe to Andrex ? Hope so - long gone are the days of turding one out then getting a finger full of poo as the bog roll can't cope. 'Twill be easier to mop up the tears of laughter too, when we hear Pompey have been docked 30 points. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintRichmond Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Hope so - long gone are the days of turding one out then getting a finger full of poo as the bog roll can't cope. 'Twill be easier to mop up the tears of laughter too, when we hear Pompey have been docked 30 points.[/QUOTE] I doubt if they will be docked ANY points, IMHO A "mystery" buyer will be found Must be great to have over £ 150M debts wiped from the slate, and be able to start again. (Yes I know it happened to us, but we "owed" peanuts by comparison) No matter WHO the team is, it is WRONG, morally and ethically Pity it wasn't in the days of the 1930 Wall Street Crash Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trader Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 FC Basel have an entry system of automated manless turnstiles, Your ticket has a barcode on it and it is credit card size. Must save a fortune. They had this system at the Rose Bowl when I went to Aus-Eng match a couple of weeks ago. Don't know if it's in operation for county fixtures though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
manji Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Yes it is. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Thedelldays Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 they had that at sporting lisbon....a credit card sized ticket that you used in a way that you do at the train station.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ottery st mary Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 My money is on Nicola Cortese becoming our Director of Football. Would suggest he put his initials in gold on the old tracksuit and take his tactics board into the changing room before and at half time. He could also employ sum Dutch Amateurs and we could have all our yesterdays. Have we still got Ruperts Dutch football agent going spare. Bring back Rupes it was so much PAIN in the backside....but helped us in a twisted way to get to where we are going now. COYRS WITH THE sASH.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint_John Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 When I went for a run this morning I noticed that they have installed "Ticket Machines" to the entry for both the North and South Car Parks. There are 4 machines (2 North & 2 South) on the entry to each Car Park and a further 2 on the Building (1 by the Shop and 1 by the Ticket Office). The machines are currently covered in cardboard but it said they were made by Zeag (a Swiss company) and the model was Orion XR http://www.zeag.ch/ (Very similar to the picture but I hope they do them in Red instead of the Blue, otherwise Stu will be really upset). The packaging said 1 of 8 and 2 of 8 etc, but I could only count 6 at the ground so I don't know where the other 2 are. (Joke) Before Stu comes out with perhaps thay are going to charge £3.01 to park for people going to the Ticket Office to buy Tickets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
S-Clarke Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 (edited) (Joke) Before Stu comes out with perhaps thay are going to charge £3.01 to park for people going to the Ticket Office to buy Tickets. Unfortunately, you're not far from the mark. If the ''public'' stay for a certain time then they will be charged. No idea what the time will be though, i'd imagine it will be a couple of hours. And obviously staff will have to pay to park as well. That was the word from someone who still works at the club and obviously will be affected by the charges. Edited 4 July, 2010 by S-Clarke Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ponty Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Unfortunately, you're not far from the mark. If the ''public'' stay for a certain time then they will be charged. No idea what the time will be though, i'd imagine it will be a couple of hours. And obviously staff will have to pay to park as well. That was the word from someone who still works at the club and obviously will be affected by the charges. Fair enough really. A couple of hours is plenty for anyone browsing the megastore or buying tickets and it would cost SFC a bundle for staff to park free in the city. Isn't there some ridiculous tax on that now, or something? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Wayman Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 This has all the makings of a huge wind-up. Be realistic guys, what on earth could be announced by the club that could possibly justify this amount of speculation. Certainly none of the guesses offered so far. The only BIG issue for fans is the future of Pardew. A bigger SMS or a new stadium up the road somewhere? Who cares? A mega sponsor like Nestle worth £45million per season... Yawn! Swipe card tickets... oh! so yesterday. A super sra palyer signing? After the fiasco of this World Cup they are two a penny and over-rated even then! We can't buy our way into the Premier League either so it's not that. See what I mean, there is nothing big enough that can surprise us. You can bet if any announcements will be of more interest to the running of the business than its impact on the team or fans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gorgiesaint Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Fair enough really. A couple of hours is plenty for anyone browsing the megastore or buying tickets and it would cost SFC a bundle for staff to park free in the city. Isn't there some ridiculous tax on that now, or something? Agreed, and also provides additional revenue from the corporate facilities used during the week. I would guess (IMO) that these are the people being targetted. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saintjinksie Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 they had that at sporting lisbon....a credit card sized ticket that you used in a way that you do at the train station.. most new grounds do and even some old ones. man city do it, coventry, mk dons and watford. im sure ive used others but cant remember Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CLOTH EARS Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 The announcement will be that saints are to merge with AFC Totton and take their place in the Zamaretto league. Saints will then move into AFC Tottons new stadium at Little T******d farm which is currently under construction. The new club will be called AFC Southamptotton. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 When I went for a run this morning I noticed that they have installed "Ticket Machines" to the entry for both the North and South Car Parks. There are 4 machines (2 North & 2 South) on the entry to each Car Park and a further 2 on the Building (1 by the Shop and 1 by the Ticket Office). The machines are currently covered in cardboard but it said they were made by Zeag (a Swiss company) and the model was Orion XR http://www.zeag.ch/ (Very similar to the picture but I hope they do them in Red instead of the Blue, otherwise Stu will be really upset). The packaging said 1 of 8 and 2 of 8 etc, but I could only count 6 at the ground so I don't know where the other 2 are. (Joke) Before Stu comes out with perhaps thay are going to charge £3.01 to park for people going to the Ticket Office to buy Tickets. LOL ...... Good Work Sherlock ....did you have a little note book with you to take down all the details I can just imagine you suspiciously working your way around the carparks checking out all the manufacturing labels and model numbers etc It's a wonder they didn't call da feds Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SaintRichmond Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 LOL ...... Good Work Sherlock ....did you have a little note book with you to take down all the details I can just imagine you suspiciously working your way around the carparks checking out all the manufacturing labels and model numbers etc It's a wonder they didn't call da feds Tomorrow ..................Train Spotting .............Complete with Hooded Anorak Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Tomorrow ..................Train Spotting .............Complete with Hooded Anorak Nah that's boring - just join EoA for a day spotting airplane numbers - he's a huge fan of it, goes just about every day Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Meanwhile, back on track. We all know that the club are sponsoring the extension of the runway at Eastleigh so that EoA & I can land there with Emirates for all the big home games. Also, as NC & ML are both Johnny Foreigners they are limited to the number of days they are able to stay in the UK or they have to pay UK taxes. As a result they will be building the new Monorail driect from the airport to the Stadium (It will be a temporary structure as they will eventually re-locate it to link the new stadium up with the Airport Free Trade Zone and housing complex at Jacksons Farm. All of which is to be announced at a press conference on a Friday Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Nah that's boring - just join EoA for a day spotting airplane numbers - he's a huge fan of it, goes just about every day Luckily for you I'm not working tomorrow but I could put in a good word for a re-routing via Mumbai if you're not careful Have a good trip. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Weston Saint Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 This is how the ticket parking might apply at SMS. Parking for up to half hour free. Timed ticket collected at barrier on entry. Pay as you leave. Corporate events attendees given a pass out ticket so no charge. That is how the Novotel at Southampton run theirs. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
teamsaint Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 NC spoke about free parking for the staff i that interiew a while back, and basically said it isn't his job to provide free parking for the staff. probably a bit tough to swallow for people like the megastore staff who earn peanuts compared to the players,, and not, in my view, a great way to treat /keep good employees. When you are on modest wages, litle things mean a lot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aintforever Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Dos this mean they are sacking the old bloke who told Keegan to **** off? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dark Munster Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 This has all the makings of a huge wind-up. Be realistic guys, what on earth could be announced by the club that could possibly justify this amount of speculation. Certainly none of the guesses offered so far. The only BIG issue for fans is the future of Pardew. A bigger SMS or a new stadium up the road somewhere? Who cares? A mega sponsor like Nestle worth £45million per season... Yawn! Swipe card tickets... oh! so yesterday. A super sra palyer signing? After the fiasco of this World Cup they are two a penny and over-rated even then! We can't buy our way into the Premier League either so it's not that. See what I mean, there is nothing big enough that can surprise us. You can bet if any announcements will be of more interest to the running of the business than its impact on the team or fans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Benson Phillips Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 This is how the ticket parking might apply at SMS. Parking for up to half hour free. Timed ticket collected at barrier on entry. Pay as you leave. Corporate events attendees given a pass out ticket so no charge. That is how the Novotel at Southampton run theirs. The Rose Bowl must be licking their lips if they end up charging corporate customers ( which I imagine they will, I can't see the point as hardly any ( if anyone ) would park in the stadium grounds for any other reason... it's an expensive investment and I don't think they are going to get a return on the odd person trying to park in there to do their shopping. It almost certainly means they are going to charge the conference and events customers ( either through pay and display or charging the businesses for passes ) I wonder if Cortese has been to the Rose Bowl to see his competition? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hackedoff Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Lambert to be sold before the season starts, but don,t worry Emile Heskey will be his replacement on a ten year contract. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Charlie Wayman Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Lambert to be sold before the season starts, but don,t worry Emile Heskey will be his replacement on a ten year contract. Many a true word spoken in jest. But don't tell the children just yet! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 When I went for a run this morning I noticed that they have installed "Ticket Machines" to the entry for both the North and South Car Parks. There are 4 machines (2 North & 2 South) on the entry to each Car Park and a further 2 on the Building (1 by the Shop and 1 by the Ticket Office). The machines are currently covered in cardboard but it said they were made by Zeag (a Swiss company) and the model was Orion XR http://www.zeag.ch/ (Very similar to the picture but I hope they do them in Red instead of the Blue, otherwise Stu will be really upset). The packaging said 1 of 8 and 2 of 8 etc, but I could only count 6 at the ground so I don't know where the other 2 are. (Joke) Before Stu comes out with perhaps thay are going to charge £3.01 to park for people going to the Ticket Office to buy Tickets. I took these pictures whilst out super-yacht spotting at the weekend.... It's not every day you get photos of 3 Swiss boxes on the SaintsWeb Forum.... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dubai_phil Posted 4 July, 2010 Share Posted 4 July, 2010 Luckily for you I'm not working tomorrow but I could put in a good word for a re-routing via Mumbai if you're not careful Have a good trip. NEXT Monday morning muppet:-) ie in one week BA 1:40am thingy Meanwhile I have to go to SMS on Monday afternoon to buy my shirt. Will the new machines take Dirham Coins? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Pilchards Posted 5 July, 2010 Author Share Posted 5 July, 2010 That's a terrible way to deliver our new signings by hiding them in boxes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 I took these pictures whilst out super-yacht spotting at the weekend.... It's not every day you get photos of 3 Swiss boxes on the SaintsWeb Forum.... Beat me to it, noticed these today when I went to get Reading and Bournemouth tickets. Parking meters/card readers? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 The Rose Bowl must be licking their lips if they end up charging corporate customers ( which I imagine they will, I can't see the point as hardly any ( if anyone ) would park in the stadium grounds for any other reason... it's an expensive investment and I don't think they are going to get a return on the odd person trying to park in there to do their shopping. It almost certainly means they are going to charge the conference and events customers ( either through pay and display or charging the businesses for passes ) I wonder if Cortese has been to the Rose Bowl to see his competition? Things are getting curioser and curioser. If people have to pay to park, only to go to the Club shop, or get a ticket then they may well get put off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
100%Red&White Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 Things are getting curioser and curioser. If people have to pay to park, only to go to the Club shop, or get a ticket then they may well get put off. I would think for matchdays only. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Benson Phillips Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 I would think for matchdays only. I very much doubt it. I am not sure how much them things cost, but there has to be a pretty quick return for them to invest in them. I would say it will be 30mins free ( ie: to shop and get tickets ) then pretty much everything else there will be a charge for. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 I think this may be just a ploy to simply deter Kevin Keegan from continually parking in the St Mary's car park and triggering off needless rumours in the process. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hypochondriac Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 So is the car park used a lot as it is? If it isn't then I can't see this being a particularly lucrative idea. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
trousers Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 (edited) So is the car park used a lot as it is? If it isn't then I can't see this being a particularly lucrative idea. But this may actually be a solution to the fact that the car park isn't full on matchdays...I'm sure more people would park there if they knew they could get a place on a 'turn up and park' basis rather than having to faff around with pre-booking. Edited 5 July, 2010 by trousers Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Benson Phillips Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 So is the car park used a lot as it is? If it isn't then I can't see this being a particularly lucrative idea. The only revenue they could be targetting is corporate customers... and possibly people shopping / getting tickets. But to be fair, if they didn't put a 30 mins free option on there, it would be a monumental p!ss take, charging people to park in an empty car park to purchase goods from the club. It's like Asda charging customers to park in their car park. LOL I have no doubt though that if they do charge customers for parking there to shop, people will back Cortese and say there must be an innocent explanation! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 I very much doubt it. I am not sure how much them things cost, but there has to be a pretty quick return for them to invest in them. I would say it will be 30mins free ( ie: to shop and get tickets ) then pretty much everything else there will be a charge for. So if it's slow like today was then we're in and out, job done. A good cup run, top of the league last few games? Then it's going to cost you to get tickets. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ken Tone Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 I think this may be just a ploy to simply deter Kevin Keegan from continually parking in the St Mary's car park and triggering off needless rumours in the process. Lol But seriously it's tough on poorly paid shop and catering staff to have to pay to park to come to work. Presumably the players will have pay twice, since all those porsche cayennes, bmw x5's etc, take up two spaces. K. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
aintforever Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 So if it's slow like today was then we're in and out, job done. A good cup run, top of the league last few games? Then it's going to cost you to get tickets. If the club are in the business of maximising revenue at all costs, as it appears, a good plan would be to just open one ticket booth prior to a big game then you will have to pay to park and they could lay-off some ticket staff and save some money. They could also wheel clamp anyone who goes a minute over - make a fortune. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scummer Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 It's like Asda charging customers to park in their car park. LOL At Asda in Fratton you have to buy a car park ticket, you then get the cost of the ticket back when you buy something (with a minimum spend of £5). Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dave Benson Phillips Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 At Asda in Fratton you have to buy a car park ticket, you then get the cost of the ticket back when you buy something (with a minimum spend of £5). Yes, that's an obvious one to be fair, stops football traffic etc using it as a free car park. But no supermarket or any business with their own parking facilities charge you to come and spend money in their business! Another strange move by the club imo. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Block 5 Posted 5 July, 2010 Share Posted 5 July, 2010 At Asda in Fratton you have to buy a car park ticket, you then get the cost of the ticket back when you buy something (with a minimum spend of £5). Is that to park a dodgy transit van AND caravan? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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