doubleonothing Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 I've been asked to be Best Man and my mate's wedding in July. It all seems to be happening quite short notice! Has anyone got any advice having been best man previously. Priority things to get done would be appreciated! Cheers OOO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 ****ging the bride to be, just to make sure she is good enough for him Oooops just realised it's teh lounge, not TMS. Not ****ging the bride to be then, to show what a good mate you are !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dog Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 Been best man 3 times, it's crap, got to finger the brides mother at the pig roast though. I married a sex mad nimphomaniac, turned out to be a man who hated bum love. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 Easy, drink 8 to 10 pints beforehand and ad lib through the best mans speech as if you are reminiscing in pub with your mates. Worked for me. NB, Popping one on the grooms step dad is optional, probably not advisable, but enjoyable none the less. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
1976_Child Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 don't forget the ring. And make sure there is an umbrella to hand even if it looks like a nice sunny day. You don't want the bride to have to get rained on between getting out the car and in to the church. And don't, under any circumstances, mention the groom's past girlfriends in the speech. Really, really, poor form! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arizona Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 Don't let off a really loud juicy... oh the lounge, bugger. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotty Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 Arrange the stag-night properly for starters, ie book somewhere, dont just go into town and hope. Do not allow the groom to get overly drunk, or anyone to shave off his eyebrows/chain him to lamppost/etc. Sort grooms transport and schedule for the big day and make sure you and everyone involved knows what they have to do and when. Its your responsibility to get the groom up and ready and at the church/registry in plenty of time. Make notes for the best mans speech, and refer to them, dont try to wing it. You need to thank the bridesmaids etc, and have a gift for them plus flowers for the grooms and wifes mothers. And as someone already mentioned, ffs dont lose or forget the ring. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chin Strain Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 Arrange the stag-night properly for starters, ie book somewhere, dont just go into town and hope. Do not allow the groom to get overly drunk, or anyone to shave off his eyebrows/chain him to lamppost/etc. Sort grooms transport and schedule for the big day and make sure you and everyone involved knows what they have to do and when. Its your responsibility to get the groom up and ready and at the church/registry in plenty of time. Make notes for the best mans speech, and refer to them, dont try to wing it. You need to thank the bridesmaids etc, and have a gift for them plus flowers for the grooms and wifes mothers. And as someone already mentioned, ffs dont lose or forget the ring. This is about right....oh, and don't do the stag night for the night before the wedding....bad, bad, bad plan. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
doubleonothing Posted 4 May, 2010 Author Share Posted 4 May, 2010 Cheers! All advice is appreciated so if anyone else has any plaese post it! I'm not overly worried about it apart from the timescale involved! OOO Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
69 saint Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/ Good luck... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SNSUN Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 I wrote a best mans speech which wasn't as funny reciting it as it was writing it - though I will say, when you do get a laugh, you'll increase in confidence. I was lucky, at my best mates wedding I was one of two best men, although I did the organising for the stag do (Newcastle weekend - top...) and my speech was better. :-) Aside from that, and signing the register as the wife to be fell out with the other witness (my signature reads "slag" - tis just the way it looks, I did get some weird looks off the registrar). There's not much a best man needs to do really - the stag do is perhaps the biggest part just a) don't do it in the week run up to the wedding and b) Make sure every going can afford it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Robsk II Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 tell all the birds they look lovely etc etc. If you tell a funny, make sure it's something that 99% of people will find funny rather than some relatively private joke. make sure it's a good stag. Oh, and get the groom a hipflask for the day, as he'll be ****ting it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
buctootim Posted 4 May, 2010 Share Posted 4 May, 2010 We dyed the best mans bits blue a week before the wedding, thinking it would wear off beforehand. Apparently still noticeable six months later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
benjii Posted 5 May, 2010 Share Posted 5 May, 2010 My mate made a joke about the "toast" that involved having a piece of toast in his pocket. I would advise that you do not do that. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chez Posted 5 May, 2010 Share Posted 5 May, 2010 (edited) make sure the stag is somewhere that everyone can afford to get to. Three nights in Vegas is great, no actually it was better than that, but if his other best mates can't go then it defeats the purpose, which is to give him a ****ing good send off. England offers some great weekend destinations. The last one I did was in Stockholm. Jesus drinks were pricey. Don't ad lib the speach. People expect it to be top notch and funny so get practicing. Try to avoid corny jokes and stuff you can steal from the web. Its much better to paint a picture of who this guy is through the power of description and little stories that way those who don't know will feel more involved. Avoid in-jokes. If he's a moaning bastard given an example. If he is accident prone reel of a list of accidents. Avoid ex girlfriend stuff unless of course its him failing to pull with terrible chat up lines. Also no one wants to hear about him being sick, it aint funny, unless of course its over his boss or suchlike. Ask a member of his family for material about when he was a kid, always goes down well. Practice and do it in front of a female as they will know what is passable. If he's done some seriously stupid things you simple must tell the world, but tone it down so as not to make him look a complete ****. Don't worry about making it too long. Having taken the **** for most of the speach do talk him up at the end and how happy you are that he asked you to be his best man cos you think he's great etc. Give a few good points like honest, reliable, happy go lucky etc. that should help people forget what a joke he is for just enough time to get a toast in. Then they can return to thinking about how he got his **** caught in his best mates fly... Once the speach is over drink tillt he cows come home and bask in the glory or a job well done. Edited 5 May, 2010 by Chez Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mcjwills Posted 5 May, 2010 Share Posted 5 May, 2010 Tell the bride your surprise that you were chosen as normally the groom picks somebody not a good looking as him in the speech. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
revolution saint Posted 5 May, 2010 Share Posted 5 May, 2010 http://www.thebestmanspeech.com/ Good luck... That got me through. Best tenner I've ever spent. I wrote the speech about three weeks in advance and then practised it every day till I knew it off by heart. That was the key for me - most people aren't lucky enough to be a natural but practise really does come close to being perfect. The good thing is, as everyone will tell you, everyone does want you to do well. Get a good early laugh in and it will seem much, much easier. That said I would never, ever be Best Man again. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
for_heaven's_Saint Posted 5 May, 2010 Share Posted 5 May, 2010 My mate made a joke about the "toast" that involved having a piece of toast in his pocket. I would advise that you do not do that. hahaha Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gemmel Posted 5 May, 2010 Share Posted 5 May, 2010 We dyed the best mans bits blue a week before the wedding, thinking it would wear off beforehand. Apparently still noticeable six months later. Engineers Blue.... we did the same, unless your stag was called Graham as well Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Hando Posted 5 May, 2010 Share Posted 5 May, 2010 My mate made a joke about the "toast" that involved having a piece of toast in his pocket. I would advise that you do not do that. that did make me lol. epic fail by any chance? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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