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LESSONS IN SKATE TAGGING ON OFFER

 

Portsmouth's City Centre witnessed a mass riot today as hundreds of residents queued for free skate tagging lessons.

 

However, the feeling of excitement soon turned to fear, as a scruffy group of pikey football fans pushed their way to the front, demanding to see the fish. Desperate volunteers tried to explain that there were no fish on display, and that lessons in tagging would start in a week and that they'd have to register.

 

The men then started to destroy bus shelters and shop windows in their rage. One man, in a tall blue hat and massive clown shoes, screamed "TO THE SOUTHSEA AQUARIUM" and his crew of gypsy lovers followed him in their voyeuristic lust to see fish swimming about in their natural enviroment.

 

More to follow.

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