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Brighton vs Saints Match Reaction Thread

SO16_Saint

By SO16_Saint,
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OttawaSaint

OttawaSaint

Posted
Posted
Can someone do some commentary I'm on the way back from Paris in the iPhone and it's tough keeping up with all the bollix going on!!

 

here's some commentary

 

Good afternoon and welcome to, er, racing at Newmarket. They're about to go into the stalls, er, for the 3:30 so, over to you, Peter.

 

Thank you, yes, the seven runners for this first Durex Handicap over six furlongs are just beginning to load up.

 

That's The Poof, n'very much on his toes and beautifully turned out, he really looked a picture in the paddock. And just coming into our picture is Vagina. Vagina is one of the two fillies in the race, she's, um, very good opening speed and the overnight rain will have helped her. She likes it a bit soft underfoot. That's The ******, going to the stalls. A steady performer, The ******, but, er, he tends to be a bit one-paced. Just going in is Buttocks. And, Buttocks, a big colt, blinkered for the first time. And there's our favourite The *****. I think he would have preferred slightly firmer going, um, and just going is the outsider of the field, the seven year old Arsehole. Arsehole, by **** out of Bumhole, erm, he's been tailed off on his last three outings, a rather disappointing horse this. And one of the last to go is Big Tits who's, um, carrying the top weight. A steady performer but, um, I think the ten pound penalty will be a little too much for her this afternoon. She's safely in.

 

Oh dear, The *****! The ***** is rearing up! He tends to get excited, a very, very excitable horse, I remember he had to be withdrawn at Lingfield. Yes, they're going to put the hood on him. They're very good, the handlers here at Newmarket.

 

And now, a-, a late show of betting.

 

Mmm, thank you, Peter. The ***** has hardened a half a point to 11/8, Vagina is threes, The Poof and Buttocks both 9/2. There's been some late money for Big Tits who's come in to join The ****** on 8/1 and Arsehole is 66/1.

 

Er, as expected, Arsehole is the 66/1 complete outsider.

And they're, they're, they're, they'r-, they're all in.

They're under starter's orders and they're off!

 

Big Tits got a flyer and is the first to show.

Arsehole was slowly away.

And as they settle down it's Big Tits from Vagina with The ***** tucked in behind these two.

Then comes the blinkered Buttocks being pressed by The Poof.

Going steadily behind these five is The ****** and trailing the field is Arsehole.

And as they start to climb the hill, it's Vagina who just shows clear of Buttocks.

The ***** is close up third, nothing between these three.

Big Tits is hanging slightly to the left, tucked in behind is The Poof.

Still trailing the field is Arsehole.

There is The Poof again making a challenge with Arsehole under pressure, but finding nothing.

And as they race to the line it's Vagina being pressed by The *****, with The Poof making rapid progress, trying to squeeze in between Buttocks and the rail.

The ***** and Vagina, nothing between these two.

And The ******'s coming with a late run! The ****** is coming with a late run!

And Big Tits has dropped out of it all together!

And with a hundred yards to go, it's the ***** and Vagina, drawing clear.

The ***** and Vagina, stride for stride, length and line, it must be a photo.

I can't separate them but I think The Poof takes third from The ******, and still to finish is the tiring Arsehole.

 

Well, one hell of a race.

The ***** may just have got up in the last stride but I-, I wouldn't like to put my money on it.

And now it's back to topless darts at Roehampton.

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VectisSaint

VectisSaint

Posted
Posted
Won their last 3 home games I believe.

You believe wrong, last 2 (Tranmere and Brentford), previously lost 0-1 to Swindon. Just shows how bad they have been all season, only 3 wins at home prior to the last 2 games. They have lost at home 11 times. You can keep denying for all you're worth but this really was a game we should have gone all out attacking to win. Maybe we still will, but our slow start was not what was needed tonight. I don't often agree with Alps but tonite he was spot on.

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Trevor in Vancouver

Trevor in Vancouver

Posted
Posted
here's some commentary

 

Good afternoon and welcome to, er, racing at Newmarket. They're about to go into the stalls, er, for the 3:30 so, over to you, Peter.

 

Thank you, yes, the seven runners for this first Durex Handicap over six furlongs are just beginning to load up.

 

That's The Poof, n'very much on his toes and beautifully turned out, he really looked a picture in the paddock. And just coming into our picture is Vagina. Vagina is one of the two fillies in the race, she's, um, very good opening speed and the overnight rain will have helped her. She likes it a bit soft underfoot. That's The ******, going to the stalls. A steady performer, The ******, but, er, he tends to be a bit one-paced. Just going in is Buttocks. And, Buttocks, a big colt, blinkered for the first time. And there's our favourite The *****. I think he would have preferred slightly firmer going, um, and just going is the outsider of the field, the seven year old Arsehole. Arsehole, by **** out of Bumhole, erm, he's been tailed off on his last three outings, a rather disappointing horse this. And one of the last to go is Big Tits who's, um, carrying the top weight. A steady performer but, um, I think the ten pound penalty will be a little too much for her this afternoon. She's safely in.

 

Oh dear, The *****! The ***** is rearing up! He tends to get excited, a very, very excitable horse, I remember he had to be withdrawn at Lingfield. Yes, they're going to put the hood on him. They're very good, the handlers here at Newmarket.

 

And now, a-, a late show of betting.

 

Mmm, thank you, Peter. The ***** has hardened a half a point to 11/8, Vagina is threes, The Poof and Buttocks both 9/2. There's been some late money for Big Tits who's come in to join The ****** on 8/1 and Arsehole is 66/1.

 

Er, as expected, Arsehole is the 66/1 complete outsider.

And they're, they're, they're, they'r-, they're all in.

They're under starter's orders and they're off!

 

Big Tits got a flyer and is the first to show.

Arsehole was slowly away.

And as they settle down it's Big Tits from Vagina with The ***** tucked in behind these two.

Then comes the blinkered Buttocks being pressed by The Poof.

Going steadily behind these five is The ****** and trailing the field is Arsehole.

And as they start to climb the hill, it's Vagina who just shows clear of Buttocks.

The ***** is close up third, nothing between these three.

Big Tits is hanging slightly to the left, tucked in behind is The Poof.

Still trailing the field is Arsehole.

There is The Poof again making a challenge with Arsehole under pressure, but finding nothing.

And as they race to the line it's Vagina being pressed by The *****, with The Poof making rapid progress, trying to squeeze in between Buttocks and the rail.

The ***** and Vagina, nothing between these two.

And The ******'s coming with a late run! The ****** is coming with a late run!

And Big Tits has dropped out of it all together!

And with a hundred yards to go, it's the ***** and Vagina, drawing clear.

The ***** and Vagina, stride for stride, length and line, it must be a photo.

I can't separate them but I think The Poof takes third from The ******, and still to finish is the tiring Arsehole.

 

Well, one hell of a race.

The ***** may just have got up in the last stride but I-, I wouldn't like to put my money on it.

And now it's back to topless darts at Roehampton.

 

Classic Derek & Clive!

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