Another crazy dad

[Dicko]

Kills his 2 kids, then himself

 

He's from Freemantle, anyone know him?

 

http://ukpress.google.com/article/ALeqM5gaDOgqkNJlBSTwp77ZQTpoNS5apw

[Hatch]

Nutter, Poor kids.

[Scummer]

As the dad of a young boy, I really can't comprehend things like this. I find it very upsetting to even think about it.

[scott_saints]

I recognise him but not sure how. Says his family home was in Fair Oak so must have seen him about round this way.

 

Anyway, he is a c**t for doing such a thing.

[Guest Hacienda]

It's too sad for words.

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

I found out about this last night as my Mrs's Mum works in social services and was informed of it.

 

My Mrs received a text reading 'Dad killed 2 kids then hung himself'

 

Needless to say, my mrs briefly cacked herself thinking her dad had done something before realsing what her mum said.

 

Sick bloke (dude who killed his kids, not my father-in-law to be). He resigned from his job on Fri and his wife left him. He was also living in a caravan. I know it must be pretty tough living like that and having bad news, however you dont see us topping ourselves and why take the lives of two innocent kids?!

[Guest Hacienda]

I found out about this last night as my Mrs's Mum works in social services and was informed of it.

 

My Mrs received a text reading 'Dad killed 2 kids then hung himself'

 

Needless to say, my mrs briefly cacked herself thinking her dad had done something before realsing what her mum said.

 

Sick bloke (dude who killed his kids, not my father-in-law to be). He resigned from his job on Fri and his wife left him. He was also living in a caravan. I know it must be pretty tough living like that and having bad news, however you dont see us topping ourselves and why take the lives of two innocent kids?!

 

I imagine the twisted logic is that if he can't have them then no one can.

 

As a dad I just don't understand it.

[bridge too far]

I don't understand it either and, as a mother, I can't begin to imagine the devastation those children's mother and wider family must be suffering.

 

We don't know the facts so perhaps we should reserve our judgement on him until we do. I do know of men who are incredibly distressed when they don't have regular access to their children and can't imagine life without them.

 

I just feel very sad for everyone concerned.

[PompeyLass]

It's not just dads that do this. There was a case over Kent way the beginning of the year where the mum killed her little boy & then left a suicide note at the family home saying she'd killed the boy & then was going to kill herself (which she did). The dad is a mate of my older brothers & he's absolutely devasted.

[Dicko]

What's going on?

 

Why does modern life twist people's minds to such an extent, they decide to kill the most precious things in their life?

[ladysaint]

What a tragedy apparently the guy was an avid saints supporter.

[Dicko]

What a tragedy apparently the guy was an avid saints supporter.

 

Are you suggesting this explains his mental instability?

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

.......

 

Hello PL, where have you been?!?

[scott_saints]

Are you suggesting this explains his mental instability?

Seems a perfectly plausible theory. If Saints don't start winning soon, I feel sorry for the kids of Southampton

[Special K]

I don't understand it either and, as a mother, I can't begin to imagine the devastation those children's mother and wider family must be suffering.

 

We don't know the facts so perhaps we should reserve our judgement on him until we do. I do know of men who are incredibly distressed when they don't have regular access to their children and can't imagine life without them.

 

I just feel very sad for everyone concerned.

 

I understand your comments, but irrespective of what mental state he was in, there is no excuse for taking the lives of innocent children.

[bridge too far]

I understand your comments, but irrespective of what mental state he was in, there is no excuse for taking the lives of innocent children.

 

When a person's in 'a mental state', rational thought is the first thing to go out of the window.

 

I'm not excusing his actions, of course I'm not. We're fortunate in that we're not experiencing mental breakdowns. We don't know what it's like.

[Poshie72]

Words failed me when I heard on the radio this morning. As a mum I couldn't imagine how any parent can do this.

 

Two little girls lost. RIP.

 

Just a shame that no one saw any warning signs (if there were any) that the fathers mental state was deteriorating.

[bridge too far]

Words failed me when I heard on the radio this morning. As a mum I couldn't imagine how any parent can do this.

 

Two little girls lost. RIP.

 

Just a shame that no one saw any warning signs (if there were any) that the fathers mental state was deteriorating.

 

And I think that's the reason, Poshie. We mums can't imagine it but then 99.9% of the time we're the ones who have custody of the children and sometimes the dads clear off and aren't interested in their children anyway.

 

Suppose, just for a moment, that your children's father had custody of the children (not you personally, Poshie - but I didn't want to put 'one's') and let's say he got a new girlfriend and they decided you couldn't have access to your children......

 

Any sane mother would be distraught and grief-stricken. A mother driven to insanity by this might do something totally irrational because insanity does horrible things to reason and sense.

 

I think I would have been driven to insanity if I'd not had custody of my children when they were little. I shudder to imagine what my life would have been like without them around all the time.

 

As I said earlier - desperately sad story for all concerned.

[Scummer]

decided you couldn't have access to your children......

 

But he clearly did have access, hence being able to do what he did.

[bridge too far]

But he clearly did have access, hence being able to do what he did.

 

But did he have access say every weekend? Had he been told that he couldn't have them stay after last weekend because he lived in a caravan? Had she told him she was going to live abroad?

 

Was any of this enough to tip him over the edge?

 

I don't know, you don't know, nobody KNOWS what had been going on there, do they?

 

Speculation, that's all it is. I did say before that I think it's absolutely tragic and my sympathies are with the families concerned. But I'm not going to be so arrogant as to jump to conclusions without knowing the facts.

 

If others want to be judgemental, that's up to them.

[saint lard]

And I think that's the reason, Poshie. We mums can't imagine it but then 99.9% of the time we're the ones who have custody of the children and sometimes the dads clear off and aren't interested in their children anyway.

 

Suppose, just for a moment, that your children's father had custody of the children (not you personally, Poshie - but I didn't want to put 'one's') and let's say he got a new girlfriend and they decided you couldn't have access to your children......

 

Any sane mother would be distraught and grief-stricken. A mother driven to insanity by this might do something totally irrational because insanity does horrible things to reason and sense.

 

I think I would have been driven to insanity if I'd not had custody of my children when they were little. I shudder to imagine what my life would have been like without them around all the time.

 

As I said earlier - desperately sad story for all concerned.

 

I get to see my little boy every other weekend and every Wedsnesday night.

 

I pay her a substantial amount per month,even though i know full well it dosen't go to him but to her and her well heeled new partner.I know she would not be able to cope on her own.She still works full time,this is down to her parents and my parents looking after the little fella each day,so she has no child care to pay,may i add she earns a fortune also.

 

This whole scenario is very hard sometimes,and i am angry with the whole system.

I signed over the house so their was no upheaval for my son,now she says she is going to move further away.I feel as though i have been and always will be shafted by her.

 

I cant understand how any parent could harm one of their own children.

But i can undertsand how,frustrating,annoying and saddening the whole episode can be.

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

I get to see my little boy every other weekend and every Wedsnesday night.

 

I pay her a substantial amount per month,even though i know full well it dosen't go to him but to her and her well heeled new partner.I know she would not be able to cope on her own.She still works full time,this is down to her parents and my parents looking after the little fella each day,so she has no child care to pay,may i add she earns a fortune also.

 

This whole scenario is very hard sometimes,and i am angry with the whole system.

I signed over the house so their was no upheaval for my son,now she says she is going to move further away.I feel as though i have been and always will be shafted by her.

 

I cant understand how any parent could harm one of their own children.

But i can undertsand how,frustrating,annoying and saddening the whole episode can be.

 

I feel for you SL. I dont have kids at the moment but when I do, should (and I hope it doesnt) the situation arise whereby I split from their mother, I would like things to be equal.

 

Im a firm believer than kids should see both parents equally to stand a good chance of a decent upbringing. Thats not to say people brought up by single parents dont stand a chance! There are numerous times when people brought up by only one parent have gone onto be better people than those with two.

 

I cant help but think that when it comes to the courts, women tend to get it easy which leaves blokes like you short changed. The fact she is taking your money intended for you child and spending it herself is a farce. If there was any way of actually proving this then it should be up to the courts to change things. Either enforce her to stay living local for your sake (in terms of your relationship with your child), reduce your contribution if she can afford to spend your money on her, or change the amount you get to see your kid.

[Poshie72]

I agree BTF. I have custody of my children... so yes I am lucky and I can pull the strings if their father mucks about with money, access arrangements etc. But I think I may re-think after this. Without saying too much, his state of mind isn't 'normal', it was like this before we split. But me refusing him access may one day be enough to push him over the edge. And I dont necesarily mean taking my boys life. What if he just disappeared with them. It's something I hadn't thought about because I dont believe that he would do anything like that. But I am sure the mother of these 2 little girls thought the same. As you said who knows what the events were leading up to this awful tragedy, what was the one thing to push him over the edge.

 

Looking at it from the other way. I suffered Post natal depression after my 2nd child for 5 very long years. I know how bad my state of mind was at times. But never once did I think of harming my children. But maybe there could have been something, that thankfully never happened, that could have done that to me. I dont know.

[Poshie72]

SL - I feel for you too. I wish all fathers were like you. Unfortuantly mine is a bastard, thinks he can see the kids at a drop of a hat and not pay towards their upkeep. I work full time (because I didnt want to live off the state), claim all the benefits I can, 2 of my children have to have childcare before / after school and I am barely making ends meet. He left me with his debts (which he promised to pay ha ha), and whilst I am at home when I am not working, given up my season ticket, he is going out on jolly's with his mates, whilst telling me he is skint.

 

I would be grateful for my ex to be like you

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

I agree BTF. I have custody of my children... so yes I am lucky and I can pull the strings if their father mucks about with money, access arrangements etc. But I think I may re-think after this. Without saying too much, his state of mind isn't 'normal', it was like this before we split. But me refusing him access may one day be enough to push him over the edge. And I dont necesarily mean taking my boys life. What if he just disappeared with them. It's something I hadn't thought about because I dont believe that he would do anything like that. But I am sure the mother of these 2 little girls thought the same. As you said who knows what the events were leading up to this awful tragedy, what was the one thing to push him over the edge.

 

Looking at it from the other way. I suffered Post natal depression after my 2nd child for 5 very long years. I know how bad my state of mind was at times. But never once did I think of harming my children. But maybe there could have been something, that thankfully never happened, that could have done that to me. I dont know.

 

Having seen St Lards post above and your comment I cannot help but pass my own comment.

 

I know I know nothing in terms of facts so I say this loosely, but you saying that your interpretation of your ex's current and previous state of mind makes you wonder if he will do something similar and in turn, may lead you to reassess your arrangements with him is horsesh!t.

 

Its things like this which make it unfair on men when the courts make their decisions on who gets custody. I dont mean to be rude, however if you had post natal depression for 5 years, it could have been argued that you may not be in a fit mental state to have got custody of your children? You say that something as discpicable as this did not cross your mind in the 5 years you had your post natal depression, yet you are quick to say the state of your ex's mind may well lead him to think like this?

 

Did your ex use your post natal depression excuse in court when arguing the custody case (if he did argue it?). If he did not then I would argue it is because he may have believed you would offer more stability and less upheaval in terms of who gets custody. In which case, he was thinking for the benefit of his kids. If you did decide to play silly buggars with your ex over his arrangements to see his child(ren?) because you are worried he may do something similar, do you not think this in itself would frustrate and annoy him, and (going to the worst case scenario) could actually prevoke something to happen?

 

Yes you may be bitter at your ex for whatever reason and may not get along with him now, but please dont let this get in the way of his relationship with your child. Using a child as a points scoring tool is not fair on the kid and ultimately will lead them to grow up bitter. Im not for one second implying this is the case with you Poshie, however there was a remark you made in your post which hit a bit of a nerve so thought I had to comment.

 

Please note Poshie, I am in no way having a dig at you, just reading StLards post above and knowing there are so many blokes out there who struggle to see their kids because of women who play the system and try to get back at the bloke through their kids. For all we know your ex may have left you for someone else, never pay his way when it concerns the kids and may not be all that intrested in seeing them. So please dont take offense.

[CabbageFace]

The kids mother should be done for Manslaugther, bet she regrets being so obstructive now.

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

SL - I feel for you too. I wish all fathers were like you. Unfortuantly mine is a bastard, thinks he can see the kids at a drop of a hat and not pay towards their upkeep. I work full time (because I didnt want to live off the state), claim all the benefits I can, 2 of my children have to have childcare before / after school and I am barely making ends meet. He left me with his debts (which he promised to pay ha ha), and whilst I am at home when I am not working, given up my season ticket, he is going out on jolly's with his mates, whilst telling me he is skint.

 

I would be grateful for my ex to be like you

 

See last paragraph of my above post Poshie. Seems like your ex is a c*ckle and that infact he doesnt deserve to see them anyway!

[Poshie72]

Having seen St Lards post above and your comment I cannot help but pass my own comment.

 

I know I know nothing in terms of facts so I say this loosely, but you saying that your interpretation of your ex's current and previous state of mind makes you wonder if he will do something similar and in turn, may lead you to reassess your arrangements with him is horsesh!t.

 

Its things like this which make it unfair on men when the courts make their decisions on who gets custody. I dont mean to be rude, however if you had post natal depression for 5 years, it could have been argued that you may not be in a fit mental state to have got custody of your children? You say that something as discpicable as this did not cross your mind in the 5 years you had your post natal depression, yet you are quick to say the state of your ex's mind may well lead him to think like this?

 

Did your ex use your post natal depression excuse in court when arguing the custody case (if he did argue it?). If he did not then I would argue it is because he may have believed you would offer more stability and less upheaval in terms of who gets custody. In which case, he was thinking for the benefit of his kids. If you did decide to play silly buggars with your ex over his arrangements to see his child(ren?) because you are worried he may do something similar, do you not think this in itself would frustrate and annoy him, and (going to the worst case scenario) could actually prevoke something to happen?

 

Yes you may be bitter at your ex for whatever reason and may not get along with him now, but please dont let this get in the way of his relationship with your child. Using a child as a points scoring tool is not fair on the kid and ultimately will lead them to grow up bitter. Im not for one second implying this is the case with you Poshie, however there was a remark you made in your post which hit a bit of a nerve so thought I had to comment.

 

Please note Poshie, I am in no way having a dig at you, just reading StLards post above and knowing there are so many blokes out there who struggle to see their kids because of women who play the system and try to get back at the bloke through their kids. For all we know your ex may have left you for someone else, never pay his way when it concerns the kids and may not be all that intrested in seeing them. So please dont take offense.

 

No offence taken. Our arrangement is our own agreement. Have not been to court over custody. And yes it does sound strange me saying on the one hand that I have suffered from PND but was never a threat having just questioned my ex's mental state. The difference being, I was under constant care with the Dr's and councellors (sp), where as he doesnt see that he has a problem, it's everyone else.

 

In fact I have only stopped him seeing them once, when I had to get an injunction out on him for harrasement, and that was just to let the dust settle, as it is not fair to drag them into our arguments. But being a mum it takes news items like this and you cant help thinking 'what if?' I am not for one second saying that he would ever do anything, despite his mysterious ways and lack of funding for his kids, he does love them to bits and I don't think he would do anything so irrational. But as BTF says ... who knows ... and I am sure he probably has the same thoughts going through his head about me.

 

Just seen your last post

[saint lard]

I want to be with my little boy 24/7,but that is just not possible as we are all aware.

What i don't understand how can your'e child not be number one priority in one's life.

My ex's number one priority was work,work and work,if i thought it was to the benefit of our child fine,but i know full well it isn't.The money and kudos was much more imperative.

I tried,in vain,to put my point across.

When she met her new bloke it was a cursory hello little man when she got home and then straight out the door again.I was astounded.

The difficult part is when my son mentions the other bloke,i just have to say "that's mummys friend"through gritted teeth.

She introduced him to our Son about 3 weeks after meeting him,way too soon IMO.

I asked her to promise that it would be at least 3 months,she agreed,then went back on that without my Knowledge.

I moved out on the Sunday,she was off to Centre parcs,where we previously went on hols as a family,on the following Friday,with the new bloke and my son.I was in pieces.

But what could i do,perhaps i'm a push over but i knew that if i created any problems she would be straight onto her legal chums...again.She was very quick to threaten me with solicitors,knowing that i could not afford one whilst searching for alternative accomodation.

I asked her to put £1000,if there was any equity, of any future sale of the property into an account for our son,she declined,i then went to £500,but that was a non starter also.

Again i was astounded.

There are always 2 sides to a story,somewhere in the middle is the truth.

I'll shut up,you don't need to hear my trials and tribulations.

I just get so damn fed up by being dictated to by someone who is only in it for self gain and not the wonderful little fella we have brought into this world,and let's remember he didn't ask to be born into this situation.

Yes, i am bitter,and if i'm not careful it will eat me up until my last days.

All i can do is spend some of those days having/giving a great time to my boy.

[Dicko]

I want to be with my little boy 24/7,but that is just not possible as we are all aware.

What i don't understand how can your'e child not be number one priority in one's life.

My ex's number one priority was work,work and work,if i thought it was to the benefit of our child fine,but i know full well it isn't.The money and kudos was much more imperative.

I tried,in vain,to put my point across.

When she met her new bloke it was a cursory hello little man when she got home and then straight out the door again.I was astounded.

The difficult part is when my son mentions the other bloke,i just have to say "that's mummys friend"through gritted teeth.

She introduced him to our Son about 3 weeks after meeting him,way too soon IMO.

I asked her to promise that it would be at least 3 months,she agreed,then went back on that without my Knowledge.

I moved out on the Sunday,she was off to Centre parcs,where we previously went on hols as a family,on the following Friday,with the new bloke and my son.I was in pieces.

But what could i do,perhaps i'm a push over but i knew that if i created any problems she would be straight onto her legal chums...again.She was very quick to threaten me with solicitors,knowing that i could not afford one whilst searching for alternative accomodation.

I asked her to put £1000,if there was any equity, of any future sale of the property into an account for our son,she declined,i then went to £500,but that was a non starter also.

Again i was astounded.

There are always 2 sides to a story,somewhere in the middle is the truth.

I'll shut up,you don't need to hear my trials and tribulations.

I just get so damn fed up by being dictated to by someone who is only in it for self gain and not the wonderful little fella we have brought into this world,and let's remember he didn't ask to be born into this situation.

Yes, i am bitter,and if i'm not careful it will eat me up until my last days.

All i can do is spend some of those days having/giving a great time to my boy.

 

I find your story interesting.

 

Some women will moan about blokes, but for a guy who cares about his kids, to be screwed financially, virtually have to beg to see them, whilst some tosser gets to see them whenever he wants must be bloody difficult to deal with

Edited 22 September, 2008 by Dicko

[Poshie72]

I want to be with my little boy 24/7,but that is just not possible as we are all aware.

What i don't understand how can your'e child not be number one priority in one's life.

My ex's number one priority was work,work and work,if i thought it was to the benefit of our child fine,but i know full well it isn't.The money and kudos was much more imperative.

I tried,in vain,to put my point across.

When she met her new bloke it was a cursory hello little man when she got home and then straight out the door again.I was astounded.

The difficult part is when my son mentions the other bloke,i just have to say "that's mummys friend"through gritted teeth.

She introduced him to our Son about 3 weeks after meeting him,way too soon IMO.

I asked her to promise that it would be at least 3 months,she agreed,then went back on that without my Knowledge.

I moved out on the Sunday,she was off to Centre parcs,where we previously went on hols as a family,on the following Friday,with the new bloke and my son.I was in pieces.

But what could i do,perhaps i'm a push over but i knew that if i created any problems she would be straight onto her legal chums...again.She was very quick to threaten me with solicitors,knowing that i could not afford one whilst searching for alternative accomodation.

I asked her to put £1000,if there was any equity, of any future sale of the property into an account for our son,she declined,i then went to £500,but that was a non starter also.

Again i was astounded.

There are always 2 sides to a story,somewhere in the middle is the truth.

I'll shut up,you don't need to hear my trials and tribulations.

I just get so damn fed up by being dictated to by someone who is only in it for self gain and not the wonderful little fella we have brought into this world,and let's remember he didn't ask to be born into this situation.

Yes, i am bitter,and if i'm not careful it will eat me up until my last days.

All i can do is spend some of those days having/giving a great time to my boy.

 

You sound like a wonderful father. :goodman: And I agree children should be the first priority.

 

Your Ex sounds like a right *****. As said I work but it is for the benefit of my children, not for me. I spend as much time as I can with the kids, and only do things for myself when they are with their dad. In my spare time (?? lol) I am also studying to be qualified in my profession. This is done at night when they are in bed. I rarely go out, if I had the money, my bf was introduced approx 2 months after meeting and it was taken slowly. They are my number one priority.

 

Please try not to get bitter. Do what you are doing, spending the time you have with your son enjoying yourselves. he will remember and it will be the time he spends with you that he will talk about. I know that I sound angry and hateful towards my ex, but I try not to let it affect the kids. As you said they did not ask to be born It is not their fault.

[saint lard]

Thankyou for your'e kind words.

It sound as though you are doing a sterling job,however trying times may be.

 

Just seeing my boy grinning from ear to ear is enough reward for me.

And we really do have fun,those moments are very cherished.

[Poshie72]

Thankyou for your'e kind words.

It sound as though you are doing a sterling job,however trying times may be.

 

Just seeing my boy grinning from ear to ear is enough reward for me.

And we really do have fun,those moments are very cherished.

 

Well nothing can be harder or more challenging than supporting Saints

[Crouchie's Lawyer]

Heard on the news last night that the bloke who killed the kids called up the mother after he had done it to say 'The girls are asleep now, forever'. She called the police straight away, but it was too late by the time they got there.