mrs btf and hamster's narrow boat thread

[bridge too far]

Lovely pic H - I'm really, really jealous (of the view, that is!)

[LVSaint]

Nice. Looking forward to a couple of trips on my parents' boat while I am back later this month. Hope the weather stays ok.

[BadgerBadger]

this whole narrow boat malarkey sounds like fun Hamster - lots of drinking, nice pubs, nice surroundings, lay ins, breakfast in bed - do you take lodgers?

[hamster]

this whole narrow boat malarkey sounds like fun Hamster - lots of drinking, nice pubs, nice surroundings, lay ins, breakfast in bed - do you take lodgers?

 

There must be another word that describes it better than a simply 'fun', it's much more than that, it really is.

 

This evening I have reserved her again for next weekend, I have also booked 4 tickets to watch saints beat MK (****ing) Dons at their NCP carpark stadium. We are moored about 15 miles from MK and I will be travelling through that long wet tunnel again plus a couple of locks on Saturday morning then jumping on a bus for the final streetch. I plan to be celebrating another demolition of my favourite, least favourite team on Saturday night at The Boat Inn, Stoke Bruerne. Mrs h, 2 x Grandkids, bestest mate, his wife and son in tow. It will be fun.

 

Pic of said Boat Inn to follow.

 

NB

I shall be flying the famous Saints JPT flag again, which must surely now be as famous as the tatty old 'Dubai saints' rag that DP carries in his suitcase.

 

COYFR's

[Johnny Bognor]

And fyi our boat has a no sex policy.

 

No sex, you no come aboard.

 

I'm confused

 

mrs b,

When I woke properly the next morning I made asteaming cup of tea for myslef and gave mrs h one.

 

Did you get her a cup of tea afterwards?

[hamster]

ha ha jonathan ha ha. for your information the highlighted bit is precisely waht did actually happen and I wa subliminally hinting at it without even realising. Doing 'it' on a boat is quite a unique experience that i never realised, you get a surreal slow rhythmic momentum going and in a strange hypnotic way it slows the whole process down and enhances the experience. mrs h quite literally rocks. I am so looking forward to next week, so looking forward to it.

[landford.saint]

ha ha jonathan ha ha. for your information the highlighted bit is precisely waht did actually happen and I wa subliminally hinting at it without even realising. Doing 'it' on a boat is quite a unique experience that i never realised, you get a surreal slow rhythmic momentum going and in a strange hypnotic way it slows the whole process down and enhances the experience. mrs h quite literally rocks. I am so looking forward to next week, so looking forward to it.

 

Strange, because most 60ft, Narrow boats as I believe yours is, weigh in excess of 25 tons. How energetic do you need to be to get rythmic rocking?

[astrasri]

Landford, have you ever been on a narrow boat?, a) they don't weigh 25 tons and b)they are really easy to get rhythmically rocking.... I know, especially if you are on the roof!!!

[hamster]

Landford, have you ever been on a narrow boat?, a) they don't weigh 25 tons and b)they are really easy to get rhythmically rocking.... I know, especially if you are on the roof!!!

 

Yeah landford, what he said. Thanks for dragging this up again actually astrasri, I am off on her again in 3 weeks. Gayton to Warwick in 3 days hopefully. Got meself a new i-pod dock and a folding bike from freecycle, radio controlled speedboat to keep gk's entertained and a copy of Canal Boat by Rolt and Narrowdog to Carcassane as back-up reading, however I suspect most of my rest time shall be spent imbibing and rocking the boat. astragti, are you a ditch rat too me hearty?

[saintkiptanui]

Sex cases the lot of yeh.

[bridge too far]

Whatever floats yer boat

[hamster]

skippy, you obviously have not had the pleasure. And I am reliably informed that what you are alluding to is actually what does go on quite frequently, even today, with quite a few live-aboard boats displaying the canal equivelant of Pampas Grass. You do know about the Pampas Grass don't you Skip?

[saintkiptanui]

skippy, you obviously have not had the pleasure. And I am reliably informed that what you are alluding to is actually what does go on quite frequently, even today, with quite a few live-aboard boats displaying the canal equivelant of Pampas Grass. You do know about the Pampas Grass don't you Skip?

I once got some stuck in my throat, so yes I am aware of it's abrasive qualities.

[landford.saint]

Landford, have you ever been on a narrow boat?, a) they don't weigh 25 tons and b)they are really easy to get rhythmically rocking.... I know, especially if you are on the roof!!!

 

A narrowboat 70ft long (max) has hull plating usually 10mm/6mm/4mm going from bottom to top. It often contains as much as 10 tonnes of engineering brick ballast. Let alone engine, interior cladding (often Oak) and 200 gallon clean and foul water tanks. Diesil tanks and all the other paraphanalia and fixtures and fittings that that entails. A narrowboat often weighs in excess of 25 tonnes in fact. Now I know the max. width is only 6'10" so rocking one from side to side is often easily achieved by moving to one side of the boat then the other.

A boat in this situation can be best imagined as a giant pendulun. As you know from your own school days the weight of a apendulum has no effect on the frequency (how fast it goes back and forward) or its period (how long it takes to go backwards and forward). The length of the pendulum is its deciding factor. In the case of a narrowboat this is fixed thus it has an inbuilt frequency/period.

A narrowboat typically has a flat bottom so resistance to motion is very quickly damped out by the water unless energy is constantly inputted.

So to put it simply, unless you go at it like a pair of elephants on a garden swing, in perfect harmony moving across the full width of the roof you are unlikely to keep it up for long unless you are an Olympic athlete.

However having never met you I dont know if you have the stamina of a marathon runner and the physique of Dumbo. (winky eye thingey)

 

Yes I have been on narrowboats before.

[hamster]

/\

thank you for enlightening us ls, very interestung reading. Have you considered doing a piece for 'The Back Cabin' in Narrow Boat magazine?

 

Ref the elephants on a swing, I am not sure that mrs h would appreciate the implication that is contained within that remark. I would actually think a better example (less insulting) might be a pair of hamsters on a wheel. Although, when I last studied the sexual practices of hamsters they cam no-where near the 5 minute record that i currently hold on the GU. To summarise 'We Rock'

 

hope all's well you old landlubber gongoozler? Any chance we might bump into each other on my way to warwick? you are always welcome to step aboard for a cuppa my friend, as is anyone on the forum who may be passing.

[landford.saint]

Hamster, a little lady told me you've been all boaty again. You still alive? Are you still dry? Did you manage to not sink (or anything else). I'm just jealous really. Going to Crick this w/end, for a little fix.

[Dog]

River Rats are worse than Pikey caravaners. FACT.

[landford.saint]

River Rats are worse than Pikey caravaners. FACT.

 

It aint neccessarily so. I've met some nice examples of both, and some absolutely horrendous examples of both.

[hamster]

Hamster, a little lady told me you've been all boaty again. You still alive? Are you still dry? Did you manage to not sink (or anything else). I'm just jealous really. Going to Crick this w/end, for a little fix.

 

Hi, yes got back late Saturday after dropping a couple of GK's in Kent.

 

A fabulous time was had by all, however i have been informed that NB chat is not welcome and some in fact find it boring. I could tell you many tales of our adventure but don't wish to upset the majority.

 

btw at Braunston we moored right next to nb Dover no less (the Alan Herd one) - that was quite a buzz - and yes, I did get a little damp.

 

btw, has our mutual friend mentioned the works trip at the end of June (NOT the Hungerford one)? It's on Sunday 27th and would be nice to see you there.

[hamster]

Crick eh? Was there on Wednesday nice stretch of canal with a cute little tunnel, obviously not a real tunnel like my home mooring one, the mighty beast at Blisworth.

[hamster]

...............

[landford.saint]

Our mutual friend has just informed me re 27th ... Sounds good. I'll have to put it by she who must be obeyed.. Pleased to see you still managed to get wet... Those who don't like N.B's and think they're boring have never truely experienced the rest that life at 4mph can give.

[hamster]

landford, re staying over for Crick, I mentioned a hostelry to your other half it is this far away and i just checked and they have a room for £50 on the Friday or £53 on thew saturday. It's listed as 'Daventry' but is in fact in Weedon, where you will find a nice choice of eatery and drinkery options, a few antique shops and not least the old ordnance yard where once upon a time munitions were transported to the south from, walk under the canal bridge, under the railway bridge then take a right where the road forks left.

 

http://maps.google.co.uk/maps?q=NN7+4PX&oe=utf-8&rls=org.mozilla:en-GB:official&client=firefox-a&um=1&ie=UTF-8&hq=&hnear=Northampton+NN7+4PX&gl=uk&ei=iSD8S_rtM8-R4gaK4I3sAg&sa=X&oi=geocode_result&ct=image&resnum=1&ved=0CBYQ8gEwAA

 

It played a very important part of the war effort. Actually, next time you visit Stoke Bruerne take a minute to visit the new monument to 'The War Women' erected last year, it celebrated the tremendous efforts of those hardy gals who took to the canals during our hour of need. Many maintained a life afloat afterwards.

Edited 25 May, 2010 by hamster
forgot the link:

[hamster]

Our mutual friend has just informed me re 27th ... Sounds good. I'll have to put it by she who must be obeyed.. Pleased to see you still managed to get wet... Those who don't like N.B's and think they're boring have never truely experienced the rest that life at 4mph can give.

 

 

On the last morning I had had the foresight to moor just far enough from Gayton to poodle back at a more leisurley 1-2 mph. People would be amazed at the things that you simply do not see when driving or even walking along. We even watched some waterside sheep shearing.

[landford.saint]

4mph is as we know the speed limit. But agreed 2mph is so stressless and if only I could afford to give up work a nd become a water gypsy, I would be sooooo chilled.......

[hamster]

You are chilled landford, you just need to tune into your inner karma.

 

Remind me to show you how to reverse a narrowboat sometime, it is not learnable anywhere else, everyone will tell you that you can not do it, but this is a lie.

[landford.saint]

If you can reverse any distance, hats off, nb's by their design absolute b to reverse, flow of water all wrong. You'll have to show me one day.

[hamster]

If you can reverse any distance, hats off, nb's by their design absolute b to reverse, flow of water all wrong. You'll have to show me one day.

 

You can practice the manouvre next time you take a bath landford.

 

Use a pencil, ponty end is the bow, and push it gently backwards. Observe it's movement when you prevent it's backwards path with your finger on the rubber end (stern), observe how the pointy end tries to overtake the rubber end!

 

Do not try to stop this movement of the pointy end, that is not possible, you need to CONTROL this movement by making gentle alterations at thre rubber end. Think about how you could couteract the 'jacknife' effect?

 

What you must do is to make short 'blips' forward whilst pointing the tiller in the direction of the pointy end ie. if the pointy end is swerving to your port side, you must give the boat a squirt forward into the swerve (ie aim the tiller hard to port).

 

DO NOT try to stop your boat. You don;t want to stop her, you just need to let her know who's the boss.

 

Don't wait for the rear end to swing out but as sson as you feel it take effect throw her back into reverse (gently, as the speed must be increased very gradually) and you will find that you are now dragging her straight.

 

You need to keep an eye on the pointy end and as your speed builds (lol) the required spurts in forward gear will require less and less time to make an impact.

 

Next time I am out I may invite you to video me doing this so that you can put it on youtube and tell people that you know me.

[landford.saint]

I don't think it will do your streetcred any gone admitting that you know me, and even worse providing video proof.

[hamster]

I don't think it will do your Grand Union-cred any gone admitting that you know me, and even worse providing video proof.

 

Fixed that for you landford.

 

fwiw, I'm extremely proud to admit that i know such a well respected member, genuinely nice person such as you.

 

Not forgetting the delightful mrs landford.saint of course. did she tell you about the weird conincidence at work today? Did she tell you where our camera club are going for their next outing? Did she tell you that '***' has agreed that we can take another member of stff with us? And did she tell yo who that member of staff may well be? It's going to be a scream.

[landford.saint]

Hi again, Hammy. Took a bit of a juaunt along the Bridgewater canal at the weekend with Mrs. LS . Never realised that it runs right in front of Old Trafford. Now that would be a way of travelling to a match. No traffic Jams and no drink-boating laws. Perhaps if we ask Markus nicely he might build a nice canal to the Itchen so we can save all the hassle at St. Marys. Did notice though that most of the windows in the Nb's up there were covered over to stop the locals stoning them. Starting to suss that reversing lark as well.

[bridge too far]

Boating through Manchester was one of the scariest things we ever did, Landford!

 

Sailed a very long day to avoid doing an overnight there.

 

I think it was on that holiday (when we did Bridgwater, Shropshire and Llangollen) that we visited Whixall Moss, one of the most beautiful and peaceful places I've ever been to.

[hamster]

Ah Manchester eh..

 

 

I'm into nb books recently and almost without exception they all make sure to leave plenty time to clear the city centre when up that way.

 

The excepton was Tom Rolt's famous book 'Narrowboat' about his travels on 'Cressy'. It was this book that began the movement that we now know as the Inland Waterways association (IWA). Their first festival was held in Market Harborough. He wrote the book and travelled in the early war years and made many comments and observations on the effects of industrialisation of our land. Moany old stuck in the mud.

 

Re the Old Trafford thing, if you watch the programmes on sky like Locks and Quays etc you may come across one about a bunch of Mancs who travel to home games from the city centre by restaurant narrowboat, they reckon it's quicker and certainly the most relaxed mode of transport for sucha journey. maybe we could have a SWF lads excursion next time we play them? No birds though unless they're up for a bit of 'how's yer father' of course.

 

Hope all's well btw landford?

 

We've got 1st refusal on a week in September but mrs hamster has invited her parents, meaning even more drinking for me to numb the pain and torture. Should be interesting if nothing else.

 

mrs btf, i have missed you recently, how's the knee (not yours obviously, yours are just fine imho)?

[landford.saint]

Ah Manchester eh..

 

 

I'm into nb books recently and almost without exception they all make sure to leave plenty time to clear the city centre when up that way.

 

The excepton was Tom Rolt's famous book 'Narrowboat' about his travels on 'Cressy'. It was this book that began the movement that we now know as the Inland Waterways association (IWA). Their first festival was held in Market Harborough. He wrote the book and travelled in the early war years and made many comments and observations on the effects of industrialisation of our land. Moany old stuck in the mud.

 

Re the Old Trafford thing, if you watch the programmes on sky like Locks and Quays etc you may come across one about a bunch of Mancs who travel to home games from the city centre by restaurant narrowboat, they reckon it's quicker and certainly the most relaxed mode of transport for sucha journey. maybe we could have a SWF lads excursion next time we play them? No birds though unless they're up for a bit of 'how's yer father' of course.

 

Hope all's well btw landford?

 

We've got 1st refusal on a week in September but mrs hamster has invited her parents, meaning even more drinking for me to numb the pain and torture. Should be interesting if nothing else.

 

mrs btf, i have missed you recently, how's the knee (not yours obviously, yours are just fine imho)?

 

Centre of manchester greatly restored/renovated of late... Were moored righht behind the world cup screen.. Loads of clubs, pubs etc. Although on the edge of this there is still alot of rundown land and buildings. I cant remember the last time i saw so many Nylon tracksuits, baseball caps and bulldogs. Re the cruise to old trafford, have met the chap who does it, really nice bloke. Called city cruises.

[landford.saint]

Sorry, That should have been City Centre Cruises.

[hamster]

Only 6 sleeps until we're off again mrs b.

 

Might head for Aylesbury but considering Hemel Hempstead to cut out 14 ( x 2) locks.

[Dog]

Hamster, did you ever bump into a chap named ***** and his neckerchief wearing dog? He would be loitering around Fenny & Cropredy?

Edited 1 March, 2012 by Dog

[Dog]

Don't forget to post more delightful photographs of random hedges Hamster, I'm still on semi over the last one.

[bridge too far]

Only 6 sleeps until we're off again mrs b.

 

Might head for Aylesbury but considering Hemel Hempstead to cut out 14 ( x 2) locks.

 

Well let me know in good time. I wouldn't want to trek to Aylesbury only to find you're at HH.

 

Weather permitting of course

[hamster]

My current contract doesn't include data transfer otherwise I'd be posting live vids and pics of hedges, did I mention I now have an iPhone? You'll have to just hope I find a wifi hotspur on the cut for regular updates I am afraid.

 

Mrs b, yes 6 bunks but just mrs h, her friend and me on board, 4 cute puppies too.

 

I dont personally mind the locks as I am the driver and mrs h needs the exercise but as it's a return journey I am plumping for Hemel. Things to do in Hemel anyone? Probably there for Tuesday and Wednesday night.

[Dog]

Can I come along for a ride?

[hamster]

Can I come along for a ride?

 

Yes. Entrance fee is 4 cans of Guinness (original not that creamflow rubbish).

 

Fwiw our boat is always open to visitors as long as they pull their weight.

[Dog]

Can you post a photo of your cruiser please, I ain't gettin on any old piece of sh*t.

[hamster]

Can you post a photo of your cruiser please, I ain't gettin on any old piece of sh*t.

 

Here you go Dog, she's lovely with most mod-cons:

http://www.ournarrowboat.co.uk/boats_morpheus.php

 

The Japanese bath in particular is a loveley place to soak away the day's toil's, probablu the most comfy bath I have ever had, and room for two though that is not an invitation to your good self to join me in it.

 

Anyone seriously considering joining the syndicate, I know of a couple selling their October weeks at a very generous disount atm.

Edited 21 February, 2011 by hamster

[mcjwills]

Hamster, when your on the narrow boat and you come to a tunnel, you have got to go through the tunnel the old fashion method, laying on the to of the boat and walk it through the tunnel.

[hamster]

Hamster, when your on the narrow boat and you come to a tunnel, you have got to go through the tunnel the old fashion method, laying on the to of the boat and walk it through the tunnel.

 

You mean 'legging it' mac. We will be going through the famous Blisworth Tunnel, Englands third longest tunnel, so no, I will not be legging it thanks very much.

 

Talking of tunnels and whilst educating you peasants, another common phrase originates from our canal network. The use of dynamite to break through the rocks and not legging it (see what I did there) quick enough would leave the 'navvy' (bloody heck, there's another; from Navigator) 'stone deaf'.

 

ONLY FOUR MORE SLEEPS

[bridge too far]

I know you're afloat right now, H and Mrs H, but there's an excellent programme on BBC1 right now (Wednesday 7.30) about a very handsome bloke called Guy and his narrow boat.

 

iPlayer it when you get back.

 

Oh and it's the first of a series.

[hamster]

It's that time of year again Mrs b. Set sail for procuring buzzard tomorrow, forecast is good and wine and guineas in fridge .Taking a right randy couple with us.this time, all very loved up. Should be fun.

[bridge too far]

Have a good trip, both - *jealous*