Jump to content

SaintsWeb Forum Match 2010 at St Mary's - 6.45pm kickoff TONIGHT - free entry!

stevegrant

By stevegrant
in The Saints

 Share

Recommended Posts

dubai_phil

dubai_phil

Posted
Posted (edited)
Ssssh programme selling doesn't take all game. I'll get you your Magners.

 

 

:smt026:smt026:smt026

 

May Allah (PBUH) bestow a million blessings upon you and your four wives

 

p.s, what would you like in your bottle from Duty Free in return :rolleyes:

 

 

Meanwhile I think I'm packed and ready.

 

Fat Bstd stupid T-Shirt to wear during the Warm Up - check

Shorts that have been worn once - check

Car Boot sale football boots (this year sprayed with anti athlete's foot spray YUK) - check

Hand Printed After Party invites for the Emirates Hosties on the Flight - check

Special glasses for Nickh so he can see the referee waving my subs onto the pitch - check

Anti-Pheremone wipes to scare away those things that might once have been female at 3am in that 80's bar - check

Nurofen andRred Bull so I can get up Friday in time to get back to the Airport - check

All those behind the scenes stories about the takeover - yeah right

PR & Media Management for Dummies - check, check, check (That's 3 copies, one for AA, one for Storrieteller and one for LLS)

 

Proof of funds from yet another dumb local to show to AA so TSW can make our formal offer for the Skates - Oh yes

 

So, that's it, off to the Subways gig - hopefully mine will be Tuna Mayo & Jalapenos - thanks for that nick

 

I'll pop back from the Lounge at the airport tomorrow morning with something suitably motivational.

 

Good luck with the printing, last minute training and organising.

 

And to all our Lurkers on this thread, get out from behind the keyboard and come and give us some REAL abuse, you know you want to and one thing we can guarantee......

 

Our boys will put on one of the best damned football matches to be seen at SMS until late July!

Edited by dubai_phil
dubai_phil

dubai_phil

Posted
Posted

Oh bugger, just checked - I have a problem. My suitcase for the week weighs in at 17.5Kg, that's fine.

 

But the suitcase containing my notes for the Motivational speech is coming in at 47Kg. Damn, am gonna get stung for excess baggage on wheels instead of in my head for a change

OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
Oh bugger, just checked - I have a problem. My suitcase for the week weighs in at 17.5Kg, that's fine.

 

But the suitcase containing my notes for the Motivational speech is coming in at 47Kg. Damn, am gonna get stung for excess baggage on wheels instead of in my head for a change

Allah say 'May all the sand of the sahara deposit in your longjohns and graze your crack so you not walk', he also say 'the Lord looks upon the chosen one and it is written that Nickh's team will crack open the skulls of the infidel who dare oppose his brave warriors'

Have a nice flight and I hope the customs officer takes his big sovereign rings off before the internal

Robsk II

Robsk II

Posted
Posted
'May all the sand of the sahara deposit in your longjohns and graze your crack so you not walk

 

 

 

Are you suggesting that Allah can't do grammar correctly?

 

I feel some sort of death-related fatwā coming on.

dubai_phil

dubai_phil

Posted
Posted

Thank you for your interest in this thread.

 

Dubai_Phil is currently on an urgent assignment related to last minute training for the TSW After Party next week.

 

Your opinion is very important to us, and we thank you for your continued support.

 

Please feel free to leave your post after the tone, and we assure you that our Call Centre will respond to your request shortly.

OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
Are you suggesting that Allah can't do grammar correctly?

 

I feel some sort of death-related fatwā coming on.

No you are suggesting it
OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
No, I was asking you. Good luck getting inspiring your 'players' and getting instructions across when you struggle with the language...

Que?

I suspect my instructions 'make sure u kick Robsk in da bollix' is universally acknowledged and may get lost a tad in translation ,but you know the expression 'if it first they don't suceed try try and try again;

Also when you are talking about good language perhaps you could check your message first

,

Robsk II

Robsk II

Posted
Posted

Touche. Rule 101 if mocking someone else for language use, eh? I was just trying to up the tension pre-match.

 

And your players won't be able to kick me in the balls if I'm hunched up on the floor in a ball, weeping. HAH.

OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
Touche. Rule 101 if mocking someone else for language use, eh? I was just trying to up the tension pre-match.

 

And your players won't be able to kick me in the balls if I'm hunched up on the floor in a ball, weeping. HAH.

You'll be ok, my team are full of gentlemen and uphold the honour of the game.In fact 2 of our players from last season have been put into your side to class it up a bit
Robsk II

Robsk II

Posted
Posted

I'd love to take your word on it, but I've met Lee_Saint, Rabbit, Foxy, Danny, a few others.. so you know. Hardly gents. And don't get me started on Magnet :D

JustMike

JustMike

Posted
Posted
I'd love to take your word on it, but I've met Lee_Saint, Rabbit, Foxy, Danny, a few others.. so you know. Hardly gents. And don't get me started on Magnet :D

 

....or that Spades fellow :p

Scudamore

Scudamore

Posted
Posted (edited)

Right it's name and shame time...

 

ST: magnet (45)

CM 30: maddog (45)

RB 5: GenevaSaint (45)

CB 6: The Flying Finn

CM 23: prideofthesouth

RB 2: Delmary (45)

LM 4: stusdad (45)

ST 8: St Hando (45)

 

Let's have your details please.

 

I think all the guys who played last year will tell you there's nothing to fear here. It's all a bit of fun. And it's nice to see ya name in the programme. I'm knocking it all together this weekend so let's not take the p:ss. Just get it over to me.

Edited by Scudamore
dubai_phil

dubai_phil

Posted
Posted
Also, Phil, I believe one only needs to use PBUH when mentioning Muhammed or anoter prophet of Islam.

 

You may well believe that Robsk, but down here you learn to cover all bases

dubai_phil

dubai_phil

Posted
Posted

The Management would like to offer up a large Vote of thanks to EricofArabia & his better half for organising my going away party last night at Alpha Club.

 

It was very nice of them to get the local radio station involved.

 

They invited about 100 close friends and 150 astoundingly cute young chicks along and topped it off with a stunningly great set from The Subways.

 

I'd also like to thank our event Sponsors Strongbow (No glass anywhere near empty allowed) and of course a big Thankyou to Charlotte the Bass player for proving that The Uncle Phil routine still works when backed up by Syrian medicine. Hope she can walk to the plane unaided this morning.

 

Meanwhile, for those meeting me in Salisbury tonight I may just be a little late. Can't even see my suitycase this morning let alone phone for a taxi to get to the airport

 

 

 

 

 

Which translates to - What a fecking great gig, and yes Eric you won your bet, I'm still hissed

Spades

Spades

Posted
Posted
Right it's name and shame time...

 

GK 1: lee_saint

RB 16: Spades

ST: magnet (45)

CM 30: maddog (45)

RB 5: GenevaSaint (45)

CB 6: The Flying Finn

CM 23: prideofthesouth

RB 2: Delmary (45)

RM 27: Robsk II (45)

CM 14: DrZuess1979 the 2nd (45)

LM 4: stusdad (45)

ST 8: St Hando (45)

 

Let's have your details please.

 

I think all the guys who played last year will tell you there's nothing to fear here. It's all a bit of fun. And it's nice to see ya name in the programme. I'm knocking it all together this weekend so let's not take the p:ss. Just get it over to me.

 

Ps. Steve Grant is only not on that list through a promise of details. If not that monkey photo from last year is going in!

 

I swear i emailed you my info already??

OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted

 

150 astoundingly cute young chicks along

 

I love all that 70's jargon.

Have a safe flight i was alarmed to see the headlines about a flight from Dubai. I was alarmed that it may have been yours, thankfully not (saddened anyway of course) .

I thought what a waste of some good photo albums at first before i realised it was not carrying you

Scudamore

Scudamore

Posted
Posted
I swear i emailed you my info already??

 

So you have. Humble apologies.

 

Although i'm not entirely sure i needed a photo of you on the crapper to be fair.

prideofthesouth

prideofthesouth

Posted
Posted
Right it's name and shame time...

 

GK 1: lee_saint

ST: magnet (45)

CM 30: maddog (45)

RB 5: GenevaSaint (45)

CB 6: The Flying Finn

CM 23: prideofthesouth

RB 2: Delmary (45)

RM 27: Robsk II (45)

CM 14: DrZuess1979 the 2nd (45)

LM 4: stusdad (45)

ST 8: St Hando (45)

 

Let's have your details please.

 

I think all the guys who played last year will tell you there's nothing to fear here. It's all a bit of fun. And it's nice to see ya name in the programme. I'm knocking it all together this weekend so let's not take the p:ss. Just get it over to me.

 

Ps. Steve Grant is only not on that list through a promise of details. If not that monkey photo from last year is going in!

Do you not have last years programme as you could use that for my details :)

Scudamore

Scudamore

Posted
Posted
Do you not have last years programme as you could use that for my details :)

 

I do yes. I'm sure as sh:t not doing a complete redesign!

 

Righto. I was gonna do that anyway but offering the chance to change your details.

 

I shall take you off the list.

magnet

magnet

Posted
Posted
I'd love to take your word on it, but I've met Lee_Saint, Rabbit, Foxy, Danny, a few others.. so you know. Hardly gents. And don't get me started on Magnet :D

 

Don't bring me into it, especially as your on the other side, I haven't been sent off for at least 2 weeks now!

Scudamore

Scudamore

Posted
Posted
What do you want to know?

 

Programme time ladies...

 

I will need the following details:

 

Photo (this will end up being approximately 17mm x 17mm)

Username

Name

DOB

Place of birth

Height

Weight

Honours

 

These are the basics. If you have anything else of interest to say i will include it...space allowing.

 

I shall PM my email adress to each of you so you can send me the details.

 

Ahfankyoo

 

Of course i can't pm you as you're a registered user.

Spades

Spades

Posted
Posted
So you have. Humble apologies.

 

Although i'm not entirely sure i needed a photo of you on the crapper to be fair.

 

You did need it. and your better off now you've seen it. You'l thank me some day

OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
You did need it. and your better off now you've seen it. You'l thank me some day
i think we will have a cage installed in the home team dressing room for you
OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted

GOOD NEWS AND BAD NEWS FOR THE AWAY TEAM

The good news is that Phil has landed and arrived safely in the Uk, the bad news is, so have the photo albums with the 5000 images of Phils golfing shots. He wishes to point out he has the stories that go with each one.

OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
That's good news, surely? If that won't motivate a man to get back onto that pitch with enthusiasm, what the hell will?
True, trouble is Phil locks the door until the q&A session is finished, and if you dare get 1 wrong!!!! I suggest you all take notebooks and pencils, the projector screen he will be bringing with him may also fill the small cramped away dressing room
Spades

Spades

Posted
Posted
i think we will have a cage installed in the home team dressing room for you

 

Good, cage me up. im like an animal! Unleash me moments before the first whistl and the away team wont know whats hit them! :)

OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
Good, cage me up. im like an animal! Unleash me moments before the first whistl and the away team wont know whats hit them! :)

I think we may put a feed from Phils pre match talk into your cage to make you sleep a bit , so you still have some energy left by the time the ref blows to start the match

dubai_phil

dubai_phil

Posted
Posted

You know, I've come across some underhand tricks and dodgy practices in my time in the Middle East, but the stunt that nickh pulled yesterday takes the biscuit.

 

I simply cannot believe that somebody could hold a grudge that deeply for so long.

 

How he hacked into all my credit card accounts, hacked my Iris and then sent an anonymous tip off to customs that my motivational speech papers had been soaked in a solution of "illicit chemicals".

 

Thanks nick, only a 3 hour hold up, no rental car, but thanks to National Express for finally getting me home in time to catch the Zuchinni's & Courgette's last night - they rocked.

 

Nick. Up until now this had been simply personal, now it is war.

 

Let the games cease and let battle commence

 

 

I wish to thank my sponsors Cybersight for supplying the hacking software that have allowed #42 Acacia Avenue to grant me Internet access the internet

 

Off to see Maggots now

OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
You know, I've come across some underhand tricks and dodgy practices in my time in the Middle East, but the stunt that nickh pulled yesterday takes the biscuit.

 

I simply cannot believe that somebody could hold a grudge that deeply for so long.

 

How he hacked into all my credit card accounts, hacked my Iris and then sent an anonymous tip off to customs that my motivational speech papers had been soaked in a solution of "illicit chemicals".

 

Thanks nick, only a 3 hour hold up, no rental car, but thanks to National Express for finally getting me home in time to catch the Zuchinni's & Courgette's last night - they rocked.

 

Nick. Up until now this had been simply personal, now it is war.

 

Let the games cease and let battle commence

 

 

I wish to thank my sponsors Cybersight for supplying the hacking software that have allowed #42 Acacia Avenue to grant me Internet access the internet

 

Off to see Maggots now

With false sincerity I would like to offer my condolences that you were held up, Oh dear.

The biggest surprise is that I have only had 3 Pm's of thanks from your side for the destruction of the photo albums

I know you like to call your self the 'The Special one' I think you leave out the word needs.

My team have been honing themselves into a lean mean fighting machine. Well i think they are!!!

Roll on thursday.

Scudamore

Scudamore

Posted
Posted (edited)

ST: magnet (45)

CB 6: The Flying Finn

CM 23: prideofthesouth

RB 2: Delmary (45)

LM 4: stusdad (45)

ST 8: St Hando (45)

Edited by Scudamore
B Rabbit

B Rabbit

Posted
Posted (edited)

Starting to get close now....

 

I have purchased bananas, isotonic drinks and protein shakes in preparation.

 

I will also be having intensive punch bag sessions this week, in preparation for any on pitch disagreements...or more than likely, Magnet doing a pu55y foul on someone, starting a fight then running away and leaving it for others to clear up =)

Edited by B Rabbit
OldNick

OldNick

Posted
Posted
Starting to get close now....

I have purchased banannas, isotonic drinks and protein shakes in preparation.

I will also be having intensive punch bag sessions this week, in preparation for any on pitch disagreements...or more than likely, Magnet doing a pu55y foul on someone, starting a fight then running away and leaving it for others to clear up =)

thats dedication for you. I think the rest of the team have been on the lines of having intensive work outs with bags of crisps, lager and McDonalds. My issueing

of 'The professional footballers getting fit handbook' by Matt Le Tissier has been taken up and used with much enthusiasm

lee_saint

lee_saint

Posted
Posted

Booked in for last physio treatment before the game, been trying to get ankle moving on the bike, I may do some light jogging tomorrow...hopefully it will hold out for 90 minutes on Thursday.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...