Thedelldays Posted 5 February, 2010 Share Posted 5 February, 2010 It's been a long year, I've been back from my holiday a while, all my selfish mates have jobs or are in prison, the missus is out soliciting and the kids are in the cellar, so I have to find ways of filling my day. Anyway, whilst out for a run today, I saw a number of extremely hot chicks doing the same, nicely toned in tiny little shorts, sweat glistening off their tanned calves, brilliant. As I was passing the famous Saltash Bridge, I saw two fat ugly middle aged dudes holding hands, one then proceeded to delicatley stroke the small of his oppos back "ooh look" thought I "Gayers". Now, it was a long run and my ipod charge had died so my mind began to work overtime, why? Why? with all these amazing chicks around do dudes fancy dudes? Women are AWESOME they have tits and fannys and no beards and nice legs and they just rock. Why wouldn't you want to have sex with as many of them as possible? At home, this conundrum continued to bug me, then I had a Eureka moment "ASS-LOVE!" It is the only explanation, I like a good ring intrusion plus I know chicks that dig it too, perhaps some blokes just love it up their ricker so much that they can't be arsed with chicks. So, in the bath I tested the theory by ramming a finger up my hoop... nothing, I tried having a **** at the same time.. nothing, it just felt like trying to have a **** whilst needing a big sh1t. I decided that finger was too small so tried to cram a foamburst can up there, no joy. So I concluded that my theory was rubbish and ****ed it off. I then proceeded upstairs and put on a pair of my missus jeans, one of her t-shirts and tied a desert shemagh around my neck to complete "the look" and tried watching X factor, Big Brother, a Brittney Spears bio on E! and some Gok Wan, I even tried watching some Tennis but no, I still just wanted to go and rag some bird. The internet provided some gay porn but that just made my laugh and I kept getting distracted by littlemissspunkguzzler69 from Sunderland IM'ing me to meet up for a **** and to show me her webcam vids. So my dabble with homosexuality has come to an end, and sorry, it just isn't for me. You can't say I haven't tried though, and feel I have an improved understanding of our beef brethren. I just don't like dudes. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scudamore Posted 5 February, 2010 Share Posted 5 February, 2010 god i hope someones hacked your account... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Arizona Posted 5 February, 2010 Share Posted 5 February, 2010 god i hope someones hacked your account... Be much funnier if they hadn't. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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