How well would you do in the Prem?

[Red Alert]

Couple of months ago Danny Guthrie played in my local 7-a-side league. Half a pitch and he was better then everyone else, but not by miles you would maybe expect from a (former) premiership player.

 

Pub conversation the other night. Say you were playing for Man U/Arsenal anyone you want. You could play where ever you want and the manager would think you were amazing so never gave you any instructions at all. You could take pens/free kicks if you like. How many goals do you think you could get in a season?

 

I would get 5-6 imo, couple of penalties and maybe a scrappy drop at my feet from a corner kind of goal. But I would get dominated by every single defender in the premiership, even Titus Bramble.

[Colinjb]

Even if I was surrounded by the 2007/08 Man Utd team I would still be no-where. I wouldn't be able to read the game quick enough to get into the right positions, I wouldn't have enough skill to make anything near an impression on the opposition and I would need an unpressured open goal created by the movement of my team mates and a kind ball to me to let me score. Even on Penalties any keeper with a bit of nous could read me like a book.

 

Frankly, if anyone on here thinks they could make any kind of impact they are fooling themselves. Sorry.

[Dog]

I would probably score 20+ a season to be fair. I have only ever missed 1 penalty which happened to be in my last ever season, which resulted in a sending off on my behalf, due to frustration.

Always scored goals with my head and had a wicked free kick on me.

Fitness would be the main issue as I have always been slow, but my strength and ability to hold the ball up outwayed that.

My discipline record was appaling.

[SuperMikey]

I'd probably play 2 or 3 minutes in my first game and get my leg broken or something like that. Recently started playing 5 a side with some of my mates and i've never been so knackered in my life afterwards. Maybe it's because i'm such a fat bastard

[Hatch]

I would score how ever many Zamora has scored plus one.

 

I would fit into the Arsenal style of play more than the others. A real fox in the box.

ie. Fabregas and Co could pass the hell out of the opposition then I could tap it in from one yard.

 

NB. I could only play approximately the first 5 minutes of each game due to a lack of fitness.

[CB Saint]

I would either

 

run around like a headless chicken for 5 minutes before crawling to the touchline and throwing up, or

 

pull my hamstring in the first 30 seconds.

 

My suggestion is if you were betting on me to be first scorer - make sure you choose the first half

[bungle]

Unless anyone using the forum is actually currently playing in the top 4 tiers of non-league football, then clearly everyone would be utter sh*te and unable to do anything.

[Hatch]

Unless anyone using the forum is actually currently playing in the top 4 tiers of non-league football, then clearly everyone would be utter sh*te and unable to do anything.

 

apart from me,

[bungle]

apart from me,

 

Yes. Many apologies for that omission.

 

Hang on a minute.....

[RonManager]

I would walk that league...............................literally.

[INFLUENCED.COM]

I'd hold my own.....................................tracksuit, after being dragged off after only a couple of mins.

[Andy_Porter]

I doubt I'd even be able to score a penalty with the pressure of a crowd on me.

[Crab Lungs]

Interesting, maybe some of the folks who have played with me in my halycon years could advise me whether I could 'survive' the Premier League or not.

 

Personally, I am a quarter of the player I was when I was 16-21 and haven't played for nearly a year. My fitness is awful and I suspect my touch is even worse than it once was.

 

When I was in my golden era, maybe a Wayne Bridge-esque type of player, chipping in with 1-4 goals a season (more if allowed penalties.)

 

These days? Djimi Traore.

[Red Alert]

I know I would look "Ali dia" but at least he got a shot at it. Fitness would be the biggest problem. Just imagine trying to mark Gerrard for a game. How many goals do you think ROnaldo could get himself in a Sunday league season?

[INFLUENCED.COM]

How many goals do you think ROnaldo could get himself in a Sunday league season?

 

None, he'd get two footed around the throat week in week out

[fish fingers]

I'd probably only get 1 maybe 2 starts in the prem. Then Barca will come knocking.

[Rasiak-9-]

Couple of months ago Danny Guthrie played in my local 7-a-side league. Half a pitch and he was better then everyone else, but not by miles you would maybe expect from a (former) premiership player.

 

Pub conversation the other night. Say you were playing for Man U/Arsenal anyone you want. You could play where ever you want and the manager would think you were amazing so never gave you any instructions at all. You could take pens/free kicks if you like. How many goals do you think you could get in a season?

 

I would get 5-6 imo, couple of penalties and maybe a scrappy drop at my feet from a corner kind of goal. But I would get dominated by every single defender in the premiership, even Titus Bramble.

 

In short.

 

No you wouldn't.

[Ponty]

So this is how Pompey are currently scouting for new players.

[Golden Balls]

I've played with a few pros and ex pros and that has shown me you cant be taught to be that good. Its all natural.

 

Played with Alan Ball And Matt Le Tissier in 2003 and they ripped us apart despite both being retired and over weight.

 

Also played with Phil Warner and David Hughes at Eastleigh as well as many many many other semi pros. All of who would not be anywhere good enough for the prem when I was playing with/against them but were head shoulders and more better than me.

 

The movement, fitness, communication, touch, everything makes them amazing compared to most people but still average/poor in the prem.

 

I might score a few pens as I know I can hit the target with a dead ball from 12 yards.

[hamster]

Sounds like it's a good time to start enquiring about this seasons forum match, it needs to be a permamnent fixture on the calendar imo. Everyone should have a go.

[Deppo]

I would probably score 20+ a season to be fair. I have only ever missed 1 penalty which happened to be in my last ever season, which resulted in a sending off on my behalf, due to frustration.

Always scored goals with my head and had a wicked free kick on me.

Fitness would be the main issue as I have always been slow, but my strength and ability to hold the ball up outwayed that.

My discipline record was appaling.

 

You'd fail your first drugs test.

[Crab Lungs]

I know I would look "Ali dia" but at least he got a shot at it. Fitness would be the biggest problem. Just imagine trying to mark Gerrard for a game. How many goals do you think ROnaldo could get himself in a Sunday league season?

 

Spot on, fitness would be the massive problem.

 

There are plenty of particularly untalented footballers knocking around that more than make up for their limited ability with raw graft and superhuman fitness.

[Junction 9]

Difficult question to answer but I think that surrounded by players the quality of top 4 teams I'd score 20-25 a season. Luckily for me fitness is not an issue and could easily keep up with the pace of the game.

I think it would take me 2-3 games to settle in but after that I would be prolific.

[saintkiptanui]

Difficult question to answer but I think that surrounded by players the quality of top 4 teams I'd score 20-25 a season. Luckily for me fitness is not an issue and could easily keep up with the pace of the game.

I think it would take me 2-3 games to settle in but after that I would be prolific.

You'd be a John Stead type player

[hamster]

I don;t think The9 would last 90 seconds tbh let alone 90 minutes. Not if I was on the same pitch he wouldn't anyway. ;-)

[Hatch]

Hatch > Steve Williams

[hamster]

Hatch > David Wolliams (sp)

 

is that what you meaned?

[benjii]

I would be confident of scoring at least 7 penalties out of 10.

 

Therefore I would hope to get a couple over a Prem season.

 

We are assuming the manager leaves you on no matter how ****e you play right? I would also venture to suggest that Danny Guthrie probably wasn't trying as hard as the other players on the pitch in that 5-a-side.

[SNSUN]

I would be defeated by the run from the changing room to the pitch, although if I were really fit to a Premiership standard, I would be a competent defensive midfielder, probably chipping in the odd goal from corners.

[for_heaven's_Saint]

If I bulked up a bit I could be as good as Darren Powell I reckon.

[ericofarabia]

I'd be well up for the being mega rich, fast cars, yachts, luxury homes, clubbing and ****ging groupies ... but giving up the Old speckled Hen and running around a footie pitch half naked for 90 mins on a freezing cold Tuesday night .... forget it

[Smirking_Saint]

I would be up for being a winston bogard type player, sign up on a 5 year contract and then just stay at home playing call of duty.

 

I also wouldn't mind taking a penner or two.

 

Crab lungs, i feel your pain, any hope for me was crushed when i snapped my ACL at 18, didn't play again till i was 21 then done it again last year. Great times

[Red Alert]

I would like to see Anthony Pulis' take on this discussion. I had a mate at the place I used to work who was 6'4 and was sure he could move to japan and become an elite defender. I think fitness and hard gratf can get you far in football, and that is also the kind of player the fans love.

[Dimond Geezer]

I played against David Pucket (remember him?) about 5 or 6 years ago.

I think he was in a Southampton Institute staff team, or something like that. He was playing in midfield. Now bearing in mind he was 40ish and a long time 'ex-pro', and never a 'great' pro-footballer at that, he completely ran the midfield. However we did win the match, but that was more to do with the inability of his team mates, mind you DP did put one past me.:cool:

I don't think any Saturday/Sunday parks players would get much of a look-in in a L2 match let alone the prem, no matter how good (deluded) they think they are.

[Thedelldays]

I played against Micky Evans at plymouth goals last year..

 

he was fat ass fuk...yet every single shot it seemed without fail always went on target....we beat his team only because they were very unfit

[Crab Lungs]

I would be up for being a winston bogard type player, sign up on a 5 year contract and then just stay at home playing call of duty.

 

I also wouldn't mind taking a penner or two.

 

Crab lungs, i feel your pain, any hope for me was crushed when i snapped my ACL at 18, didn't play again till i was 21 then done it again last year. Great times

 

Gah, I know, I know.

 

Never done my ACL but I've had problems with my heels, bones in my right foot.. I think the most frustrating time though was doing my calf, 5 weeks out, comeback game - do my other calf, 3 weeks out, comeback game 2 do the first calf again, 3 weeks out.

 

I was sure I stretched and prepared for games correctly, but someone told me that because I had injured one the other took on alot of the strain/pressure? That said, I'm no physio...

 

Want to get fit for 2010-2011 though..

[saint_stevo]

Pre ACL recon, maybe 10 Lampardesque arriving late goals.

 

Post ACL recon, struggle to get on pitch Atm

[keithd]

i used to play in goal, and in my peak fitness - 25 to 30 - i was convinced i could cut the mustard in League football.

Not long after my thoughts of playing a better higher standard we played a team in the Hampshire Cup who were in a league 4 divisions above us (we'd risen from Junior 7 to Senior League). We lost 8-0. They came out wearing track suits, they came out an hour before kick off to warm up - whilst we were slowly filtering in, a couple of players at a time 30 minutes before kick off, gravy down the top from the roast just eaten. They were simply quicker and fitter than us, and that was playing a team at least 7 divisions lower than the Premier League.

I agree with one of the comments above, its the speed they think along with the fitness that would show the mere mortals up. Look at Ali Dia....

[maddog]

I played in a 6 aside game against Paul Walsh. He was 100 times better than anyone and he played most of the game at the back. His touch and reading of the game was so impressive. When he did go up front for the last 10 mins he scored 2 goals past me both in the top corner with his first to shots.

 

Anyone on here who thinks they could play at the highest level is crazy. As much as the team could carry you it wouldnt happen.

 

What you do get from reading this post is there are a lot of people who play sundays and have a deluded sense of how good they are!

[St Landrew]

I played in a 6 aside game against Paul Walsh. He was 100 times better than anyone and he played most of the game at the back. His touch and reading of the game was so impressive. When he did go up front for the last 10 mins he scored 2 goals past me both in the top corner with his first to shots.

 

Anyone on here who thinks they could play at the highest level is crazy. As much as the team could carry you it wouldnt happen.

 

What you do get from reading this post is there are a lot of people who play sundays and have a deluded sense of how good they are!

 

I think they're all kidding. At least I hope they are. :confused:

[Rut]

Reminds of a story of a mate of mine. He played in some Sunday league team (sorry, can't remember which one). Anyway - this one year they were top of the league and playing well.

 

They were also doing well in some cup and got drawn away to Brockenhurst Reserves. This was a big deal and they were all up for beating a Hampshire/Wessex League team's reserves.

 

At half time it was 6 or 7 or 8-0 to Brockenhurst Reserves. In the 2nd half Brock just let off the gas a bit because they didn't want to totally humiliate my mates team.

 

He said it was hard to describe what made Brock Reserves better - but his team just didn't stand a chance.

 

This is slightly different from someone on here being dropped into a top Prem team but if you think you'd last 2 seconds at that level - I beg to differ. You wouldn't.

 

Would be great to see though - if Ali Dia could do it - then why can't someone on here?

[Red Alert]

No matter how good comparatively people on here are, we would all be just as painful to watch in a top team. That being said I am sure they is one or two on here that could get into some obscure national team. I wouldn't mind having to play for the Maldives 8 times a season. :cool:

[Crab Lungs]

Will always remember Brian Howard playing for my Tyro team. No-one could get the blal off him and his control, touch, vision, body strength, skill was all way above our own, even at 15.

[Yate Saint]

What was that blokes name who was trying to learn to become a pro? He trained with Saints one day last season and Poortvileit and Le Tiss said he could do it. I know, Portaloo! but Le Tiss said the same. I Wonder how he is getting on.

[Barry the Badger]

What was that blokes name who was trying to learn to become a pro? He trained with Saints one day last season and Poortvileit and Le Tiss said he could do it. I know, Portaloo! but Le Tiss said the same. I Wonder how he is getting on.

 

Arton Baleci

 

http://www.thebeautifulaim.com He has gotten a bit fitter but in football terms basically nowhere.

 

FWIW as a Right Back I used to watch saints right back and really think "I'm sure I could do a decent job for Saints", especially when it was Jermaine Wright playing there.

 

Then one week my Sunday team came up against a team who had an ex-conference Basingstoke player helping them out upfront. He had already played once that day but he completely tore us, and me, to pieces. That was an eye opener.

[RedAndWhite91]

A couple of my mates from college went to school with a lad who played for both Southampton and Portsmouth youth teams but didn't manage to progress with either.

 

He now is in the West Ham squad at only 19 years old, and has made a couple of appearances in the Prem. He was at loan at Colchester last year as well.

 

I consider myself a decent footballer (albeit lacking fitness) but if I was to ever come up against this lad (who is only a year older than me) then I'd have no doubt that he wouldn't just be a class above, he'd be about 100 classes above.

[Huffton]

Interesting debate, all mickey taking aside. I've often wondered about how far you could get in any given sport, if you could take a year off work and live and train as a pro, how much of it is raw talent and how much is taught and coached. Idea for a new reality show maybe?

[saints-cris]

Interesting debate, all mickey taking aside. I've often wondered about how far you could get in any given sport, if you could take a year off work and live and train as a pro, how much of it is raw talent and how much is taught and coached. Idea for a new reality show maybe?

 

Some guy did this and trialed with Reading. He was way out of his depth. He was like 25 and was only an OK player it seemed though..

[Hatch]

Interesting debate, all mickey taking aside. I've often wondered about how far you could get in any given sport, if you could take a year off work and live and train as a pro, how much of it is raw talent and how much is taught and coached. Idea for a new reality show maybe?

 

 

Justin Lee Collins did this for a few things for a SKY Show,,, darts , diving and bowling to name three.

Although he only did a couple of weeks training for each activity.

He didn't get very far.

[Barry the Badger]

Interesting debate, all mickey taking aside. I've often wondered about how far you could get in any given sport, if you could take a year off work and live and train as a pro, how much of it is raw talent and how much is taught and coached. Idea for a new reality show maybe?

 

http://www.thebeautifulaim.com

 

As above, not very far.