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Posted
Why would a vet with a bad eye need to see a tortoise?

 

And, should the tortoise be curled up fast a hibernating?

 

Random? Good movie, one of Mel Gibson's better efforts, but his Family Guy was his best

 

They can't hibernate while they are ill.

Posted

Kardeem Harrison, i would add more to this sentance, but i will allow you all to make up your own minds.

 

How the f*ck have i managed to NOT catch the flu with every bast*rd around me coughing and spluttering ????

 

Spent all day in a f*cking joint hole, rain on rain off, electricity on, off.

Posted
people who pull out in front of me.

 

i've no real problem with it per se, im sure we all do it, but when they pull out and ****ing dawdle and bimble at 15mph. pull out and accelerate muppets.

 

Bloody Catholic exhibitionists..

Posted

Someone just phoned me up about a 'Peace Doctor'..

 

Turns out they were talking about a Dentist.

 

Amused me anyway.

 

Mad Foreigners huh!

Posted

Hmm, currently trying to go until Dec 20th without a beer (vodka and whiskey allowed), and it is f*cking killing me.

 

Also trying to lose weight so i can make (another) footballing comeback after crimbo. Why is it so much easier putting weight on ???

 

On another note, how are your five bellies stevo ?

Posted

Just managed to spot the hooded parka wearing 'trainspotter' in the new Lloyds Bank advert - took a while but I knew he had to be there somewhere!

 

I won't let on as I am sure you are all searching fervently yourselves.

Posted

**** off sales bloke in Game.

 

'Can I help you?' 'No, just browsing'.

 

'Browsing for anything specific?' 'No, just looking'

 

'What sort of games do you play?'. 'Really, thanks. I don't need any help, I am just looking'

 

'No problem. What are you looking for?' 'Really. If I need help I will ask. Thankyou'

 

'Oh, sorry. Has one of us approached you already?'. 'No. Seriously, I don't need anything. If I do I'll ask'...... (and why don't you **** off and leave me alone you annoying ****).

 

'Okay. Let me know if you need anything'.

 

Jesus ****.

Posted

Indain call centre. Im foreign and the trouble I have with them. Them bast-rds at dell computer stand top of my list. I brought a computer of them in March 09 and they been ring me three times away since then to buy another one. I even blown a whistle down the phone at them and they always ring at tea time. One even told me when l asked if they were free Dear Miss Bunpheng Sornhpio ( you want to hear him trying to saying that) you must realise nothing ln this life comes for free. Had a right go at me so he got the whistle and loud. I asked him if the AIR was free. Any way rant over of to work

Posted
Indain call centre. Im foreign and the trouble I have with them. Them bast-rds at dell computer stand top of my list. I brought a computer of them in March 09 and they been ring me three times away since then to buy another one. I even blown a whistle down the phone at them and they always ring at tea time. One even told me when l asked if they were free Dear Miss Bunpheng Sornhpio ( you want to hear him trying to saying that) you must realise nothing ln this life comes for free. Had a right go at me so he got the whistle and loud. I asked him if the AIR was free. Any way rant over of to work

 

 

I can't even say that, where were you born ?

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