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Posted

****ing sick to death of 2-2 draws.

 

The writers of Spooks have ****ed me off this week. Writing out the quality bit of skirt in favour of Ruth is just wrong.

 

The Observer's rugby coverage is ****ing disgraceful. Plenty of column inches unfortunately they offer the quill to plebs who know little of the subtleties of the game.

 

****ing rain.

Posted

internet forums

electricians

******s who post every 5 ****ing minutes on ****ing facebook

****s at the tip

people who used to work in banks. there's a reason you got made redundant you ****ing ****ard.

anyone who look at reads or writes on twitter

neighbours complaining they've got nowhere to park. should have bought a bigger ****ing house then shoudlnt you you ****ing whinging whore

 

:snipe:

Posted

keys,

 

why hasn't someone invented something so that each person has one key ( or whatever ) that unlocks everything that is personally theirs.

 

Why do I have to carry around 50 different keys.

Posted

The probability of a first marriage ending in a divorce within 5 years is 20%, but the probability of a premarital cohabitation breaking up within 5 years is 49%. After 10 years, the probability of a first marriage ending is 33%, compared with 62% for cohabitations.

Posted

Fact I heard at the weekend.... the player who is currently playing in the English Premier League who has scored the most goals against Liverpool is Jamie Carragher.

 

That, ladies and gentlesperms, is a FACT.

Posted
Come Dine With Me, excellent programme, we should have a TMS version.

 

Will disagree with it being an excellent programme but... in true TMS tradition

 

Come Dine On Me?

Come Grind With Me

Posted

people who pull out in front of me.

 

i've no real problem with it per se, im sure we all do it, but when they pull out and ****ing dawdle and bimble at 15mph. pull out and accelerate muppets.

Posted

"Knob News" has a format which is an amalgam of Monkey News and Educating Ricky. It features only in the latest 2005 XFM shows. Early versions had Ricky giving the news, though later it involved Karl giving a series of headlines of a male genital nature, from which Ricky and Steve would choose. A one-off show feature, similarly related, was Fanny Facts — where Karl presented news about or related to vaginas.

'Knob' was used as a non-offensive slang term for penis throughout. The sting for it was Ricky shouting 'Ooh! You're gonna have someone's eye out! Knob News!' in a very similar fashion to Monkey News.

Posted
My tortoise has been to the vet, she has a bad eye.

 

Why would a vet with a bad eye need to see a tortoise?

 

And, should the tortoise be curled up fast a hibernating?

 

Random? Good movie, one of Mel Gibson's better efforts, but his Family Guy was his best

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