miserableoldgit Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 (edited) This ought to make you feel better about your computer skills! Unbelievable, but SUPPOSEDLY all true!!!! Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... Customer: Hi, this is Maureen. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No , wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk.. sorry.... Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and. Customer: Hold on pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates. Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah...................thank you. Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies. Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer:! OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... Tech support: Your password is the small letter 'a' as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ? Customer: can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' And last but not least... Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT! Edited 11 November, 2009 by miserableoldgit Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
saint_stevo Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 Nice font Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 11 November, 2009 Author Share Posted 11 November, 2009 Nice font Well I liked it! Good old C&P! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hatch Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 is this ironic? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 11 November, 2009 Author Share Posted 11 November, 2009 I that one of those Sports Drinks?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 11 November, 2009 Author Share Posted 11 November, 2009 Nice font Is that better?? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
St Landrew Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 Hooray..! Another member of the forum who realises he can edit his own posts. That must be at least half-a-dozen, by now. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saint in Paradise Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 (edited) Ok smarty pants, please tell us how we mere mortals can edit our thread titles after posting then :D:D Edited 11 November, 2009 by Saint in Paradise Put "pants" in to prove I can edit LOL !!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
miserableoldgit Posted 11 November, 2009 Author Share Posted 11 November, 2009 Ok smarty, please tell us how we mere mortals can edit our thread titles after posting then :D:D I think that you may have got him there!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgerx16 Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 A few genuine examples from my place of work; In a training course, "now move your mouse around the screen", at which point one attendee does indeed pick up the mouse and rolls it over the surface of the screen. The IT Manager ( !!! ) called me to say his screen was broken. After trying a couple of things over the phone to no avail, I decided to go for the blindingly obvious, "Is it turned on ?". And my favourite one was from a public library.. "I can't get onto (such and such a ) website" "That's because it's down at the moment" "When will you have it fixed" "I'm sorry I can't do anything about it" "Why not ? You're IT aren't you ?" "Yes, but that site is in San Francisco" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ericofarabia Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 Ok smarty pants, please tell us how we mere mortals can edit our thread titles after posting then :D:D Can you let me know if he does .... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lettuce Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 My brother was having problems with his new laptop and phoned me up for help. I asked him what version of windows he had and he replied "double-glazed uPVC"! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
EastleighSoulBoy Posted 11 November, 2009 Share Posted 11 November, 2009 (edited) Hooray..! Another member of the forum who realises he can edit his own posts. That must be at least half-a-dozen, by now. More than half a dozen? I'm sure there must be? How long before it becomes edit? Surely at least 3 minutes? Edited 11 November, 2009 by EastleighSoulBoy Can't get to see if my edit shows! Bet it does now! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kadeem Hardison Posted 12 November, 2009 Share Posted 12 November, 2009 Lol! You couldn't make them up! Oh no, wait... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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